So having ADHD makes it incredibly tough for me to keep long-lasting friendships. Or even new friendships, for that matter. I rarely remember what people tell me, so it's hard for me to relate to people, can't follow very well in conversations, etc - with you all having ADHD, I'm sure you know what I mean.

I just wanted to see what your patterns of relationships/friendships are.

For me, I know/have a bunch of acquaintances, but have very little close friends, whom I can relate my secrets and feelings to. It's either that or I focus all my energies on one person.

I'm the same...lots of friendships but VERY few close friends.

We moved a lot and life changes has made my small circle of friends change frequently. I understand that there are friends "for a season". Life moves on, friends change. The only life-long friends I can say I have is my mother and my husband (which is plenty).

I like a small group of intimate friends, I'm not a party girl. Groups, even small groups are uncomfortable for me. Just not my speed. I've been handling my social anxiety better but still haven't ventured out to synagogue in quite a while.

Maybe the whole "loner" part of ADD is the attention span for only a little bit and co-morbid conditions, like anxiety or depression. Maybe I'm assuming too much, just a thought that popped into my head.

I am definilty a loner, even as a kid, i did not want to socialize. School, kindergarden was hell for me. We also moved a lot , and it was already hard for me to make friends, i would make maybe one. Today i have 2 friends, one i met 18 yrs ago, she lives on the same street as me, but have not seen her in about 6 months, we talk on the phone once in a while. My other friend i have knows for ten years, and we talk on the phone,but dont see each other very often. I love to have people over for supper ect but after a while, i want them to leave LOL..no matter how much i like them. I do not party ect .

I know that I wanted to socialize, especially as a child, I however, just did not believe that i had the tools. I think that this opened me up to social ostracizing. Thus, I created my own insular world and unfortunately it grew to become a universe of solitude, mistrust and misunderstanding.

Ironically, I have some very dear loving friends, ones that have stuck by me and valued me for who I am. They were able to go through all of the protective shield and see me. I am so grateful for the ones that really know me. They are in my heart...

I, too, had moved many times, due to several job relos, during much of my married life. This was not very helpful because I was never able to build a strong network. Loneliness hurts. I thank you, Didi for the oportunity to say this...

I'm extremely social given the right mood and circumstance.

Being social does not make for tight friendships though. I have lots of aquaintances. The people I would rely on if I was in jam (or can confide in) I can count on less fingers than I have on one hand.

Personally I like it that way. I'm very private and don't like folks too close.

I have a intrinsic yearning to socialise. I'm very conscious that it's all downhill from here, this is the point in my life when I have an infinite amount of chances, and if I'm ever going to have anyone close to me it's going to be now.. But still, I've carefully programmed myself over the years to avoid any sort of unconscious focusing on others, that they may interpret as intimidating or belittling. Whilst this makes life easier for everyone, the sheer detachment makes it impossible to cultivate any kind of friendship.



I'm not someone who could ever be comfortable maintaining a large amount of somewhat distance pseudo-friendships. And that's also the last thing I want. I think true friendship can only occur within an small intimate group. I'd like to think that someday I could know what that's like.



But to answer the question, yes I have a few people I've met online that I consider friends, but no one I can see regularly.

i have a few people i consider close friends; the rest are just acquaintances or colleagues....it's been that way for as long as i can remember.

I didn't check any of them because the one that fit me wasn't there. I have many friendly acquaitances,but only two close friends (ironically enough -- one lives in another country, and one lives on the other side of this country). I've tended to be a loner since Kindergarten. My kindergarten teacher mentioned to my parents that the other kids liked me but that tended to be a loner. She said I was an individualist and should be allowed to be so. Pretty good discription of an ADHD kid I think. I don't think I have the emotion energy for a lot of friends, but I am working (and for me it does take work to get past the just acquaintance stage) on making closer friends in the area I now live.

Scattered

I have so many acquaintances but I, also, can only count on one hand the people I consider myself close enough to rely on and help me when I need it. I seem to avoid superficiality in others, and if I sense it, I won't bother interacting with them.
I am social, however, and in settings that I'm comfortable in, I will talk with just about anyone, if possible.

I have lots of acquaintances and few close friends. Lots of poeple "know" me though I do not remember who they are. Many times someone will come up to me and say hi and I have no idea who they are, I just smile and nod.

Tim

People think I'm O.K. but only in small doses. They hate... H-A-T-E... it when I pace and get excited and talk inappropriately and interupt.;)

Have you noticed how much interrupting we ALL do on here, lol !!
It's a skill !

I too have many aquaintances but few close friends. I don't really like big groups that much. I was infact just reading an analysis of my personallity, which diagnosed me as very introverted. One reason for this, which I connected with ADD, was that I tend to pay attention to every detail of a social funtion. I'll notice things like how and where certain people are standing, what they are wearing, and certain actions that they make. However I wont remember things that were said or subjects discussed. Problem is I hyper-focus on these details, and it drives my brain into overload. I feel exhausted by the end of the social funtion, and make a mental note not to do it again. Therefore I end up refraining from much social contact.
All of it made a lot of sense to me, and maybe Im not explaining it as good as I should. but Im curious to see if others feel the same way. And if maybe its a reason why people with ADHD are "loners"
Let me know what you think.
Cyntharella

Hmmm...

I don't I hyper-focus on the small details with regards to people's clothes, situation in the environment, etc, but I tend to focus on the meanings behind what people say. Instead of just taking things at face value, I'm always trying to deconstruct why people said something in such a manner, and what he/she really meant underneath what was said. It all gets too confusing at a party, and it becomes hard to just let myself loose. And of course, I often miss what people say and I sometimes blurt out embarrassing or inapprorpriate things.

Have you noticed how much interrupting we ALL do on here, lol !!
It's a skill !I've got mine down to a fine art.;)

I've got mine down to a fine art.;)
we all have mastered that "fine art", don't you think??

we all have mastered that "fine art", Whatever do you mean?:p don't you think??
Hahahahaha!:p

I am definately a loner, just as my father is. As of right now, I would say I have zero close friends and a few a acquaintances. I recently lost a close friend (probably by choice of both of us) as he has moved several states away. We hadn't seen each other for about six months before he moved. He was probably tired of my non-conformity and I was tired of him constantly lying to me. One of my other friends had moved away (but not very far away) and I haven't seen him for about five months. At least now I will have less negative influence in my life and have more time for programming and other hobbies/interests.

been a loaner far back as i can remember. dont really trust too many people
& have "episodes" in large crowds--easier to tolerate when self-medicated.
nowadays i avoid crowds.
i can count my friends without moving many fingers. at work many people know my name but i cant remember too many of theirs (tho i work at it). it makes me kinda uncomfortable.

i know lots of people, i have my faimly but they dont understand me they just know im inteligent and different, lots of pople dont like me, i have trouble socially, i was always a loner kid right from before preschool

i have friends from highschool, but i had to move interstate rght after. i have a best frind who i never talk to, but when we get together ever few years, its great (we met cause our mums are good friendS).

i have a boyfriend (who also has add), who i am very close to, and i see his friends and get along with SOMe of them.

i've only been in perth a year. but yeah, its weird having a boyfriend who has lots of friends (he's 21 and has lived here his whole life. his friends are from highschool), and i dont have any friends who i really see outside uni.

ive seen one friend onceoutside uni for lunch.

How interesting! I've been thinking about if I "was a loner" over the past weekend.... I used to be very outgoing and had many natural leadership qualities. But, over the past 5-10 years that has subsided and I now find that I prefer to be alone. I have few strong friends, and many 'people I know' and I find myself not going out for lunches and dinners as much as I used to. Is this because my job has become more hectic, or because my three children (3 / 8 / 9) are becoming LOUDER, and so I am seeking more quiet time? Or, is this just something that is closely associated with ADD?

I am very amazing how I keep finding issues that have been running through my head, being discussed here!!! What a great place!!!

I'd say that I have less than a dozen tried and true friends...and I'd say too that I have indeed made the friendships "trying" at times through my neglect to hold up my end on remembering birthdays, responding to emails, etc. The truest ones seem to look past this, remember the good in me, and when we are together we are generally able to pick up where we left off.

The biggest problem now is that these closest friends are scattered all about. I've moved around quite a bit through the years (35 now) and tend to take a couple solid friendships from each stage in my life. But this most recent phase is proving the toughest. I don't know if it just gets harder as you get older, or if I'm just not putting in the effort, or if I'm just not finding the right situations. Seems to me, though, that the older you get the harder it is to be the new kid. People have their cliques established...I'm just remembering a Seinfeld episode where he puts it as "no longer accepting applications." I think this is what I'm running into now. And it's making my current situation a tough one. Somewhere in me I know that I am loved and appreciated by the close friends I've got, but not having the day-to-day connection and support is a real challenge. And sometimes I end up feeling so crummy about the situation that the last thing I feel like doing is reaching out to these scattered friends and only being able to say "Hey, I feel crummy." So I don't reach out and then I test the limits of these friendships too. A vicious cycle.

I'll add that I do have a lot of acquaintances. I see them when I'm out and about and enjoy a good surface chat. But there are very few (wow, might I even say zero?) acquaintances that I'd be comfortable just calling up for no better reason than to hang out and eat ice cream? I suppose I use this as one of my measurements for friendship. :)

So all in all...kind of a loner. Though I don't always really want to be, I just feel like sometimes I try to reach out but I get it wrong.

I don't have anyone that I consider a good friend. I know lots of people through volunteering with Girl Scouts, at church and at my kids school but I am not close with any of them. More people know me than I know them- I get people all the time coming up and talking to me and I realize that they know me and I am supposed to know them. I might think they look familiar but I don't remember exactly who they are so I try to fake my way through those conversations. I find that so uncomfortable, there comes a point where I can't just ask the other person who they are or what their name is when it is obvious that they think we are well aquainted.
I do have a few people that I can call if I need someone to watch my kids or if my kids need a ride to an event, and those same people call me if they need a favor. But I don't let these friendships progress to anything closer. Part of the problem is that I have worked really hard with volunteering and all, and I would be embarrassed for these people to find out what a mess I really am. And people always do notice if they get too close.
And I find that having a close friendship takes more energy than I have to give. I find it very stressful to try to remember details about the other person that would be important in a friendship.

It would be nice to have a real friend to do things with, like go out to lunch or go shopping. Maybe I will be able to pull it together enough for that to happen at some point.

I'm a loner too, and very shy..

Great thread! I think my response is similar to Nova's. I can be very social/outgoing at a gathering of people I know, but I have a very difficult time maintaining friendships. I thought I wasn't meeting people that were interesting enough, and that may be partially true. But I've recently met some very interesting, intelligent women, however, I don't seem to have what it takes to make a friendship last. My best friend is someone who lives in another state. We talk on the phone maybe 3-4 times a month. I think she's ADD as well, and we have similar issues in life. But if she were close enough to get together with on a regular basis, I'm sure she'd drive me crazy. We used to be housemate (which is how we met), and it's amazing we're still friends over 10 years later. :)
I met someone last summer with whom I became very fast friends (hyperfocusing perhaps?), but we've hit some bumps in the last few months (me not properly medicated), and I don't have high hopes for us continuing for the long-run. I don't know what happens to me other than I seem to "get" what I "need" from that person, then I want to move on. :confused: This pattern has made for some very lonely, depressing times, especially when my young DD's were even younger, and I felt way more isolated.

I have 3 close fiends who I have known a long time , many, many aquaintances

I am percieved by most people as being very aggressive, but once someone gets to know me, and takes the time to relize that I am just as open to other opinions........

And that I am more than willing to accept other opinions but quite often I like to debate issues to get to the best solution.........

I have found it better now with the help of the Forums to just avoid situations and social gatherings, keep my opinions to myself, and live out my life quietly by myself as to me my life happens inside my head, but it is influenced by various external situations.........

Know what gets me? Medicated properly (g) I really enjoy talking to people, can relax and have fun, etc. During these times I think, wow, this is what my outgoing friends do all the time! This is fun!

But I loooove to be alone. Digitl, you echo my thoughts exactly! I love having friends over for dinner, but then when they go home? It's like, oh yeahhhh, cool, my house is clean (having been cleaned in a flurry of panicked activity beforehand), there are nice smells in the kitchen, lotsa leftovers, good vibes, etc.

I'm lucky to have a fair amount of really cool friends. This weekend I turned down a bunch of invites so I could clean up my apartment. The mess is truly awful, and making me crazy. Of course, I sat on the web all day anyway.

BUT! My point is, how on earth do you people with significant others, and who say you are shy/a loner/don't get out much, find anyone? I've been without a boyfriend for years, literally! As for my friends, most of them are single too (we're all late 30's-early 40's). So now being alone feels normal, and I'm too lazy to make much of an effort these days in that department.

But sometimes I just wonder...how did you find someone?

Hey all,

I am really fortunate to have lots of friends and most of them are close friends in the moment I am with them. Recently I have been picking up the patterns of ADD and have noticed that all of my close friends, male and female are of ADD nature. Many of them "undiagnosed". Growing up, I had an ADD mentor who is amazingly successful in many ways (he still gets caught up in the impulsive side from time to time).

If I were drifting for friends who were not of ADD nature.. I think I would be pretty lonely. Even when I am with my non-ADD friends whom I have known all my life... I feel lonely. I love them but just don't connect.

Have any of you felt the connection? The one where you can't tell where you end and the other person begins...

I was a quiet loner as a child and teenager with deep social anxiety. I burst out of my shell in college, and now I can be social appropriate, but with some effort. It takes so much energy out of me sometimes. The socially anxious and paranoid side of me is still around, and I have give myself a lot of self-talks to reason myself out of my fears. Anywhere I work, I'm always the "odd" one. I mean well, but I always seemed to say the dumbest things. So usually I just keep to myself and smile silently to others, saying "hello" now and then.

Bananna Slip,

I was the same way....loner in high school...I'm in my mid 30s and single, without really any close friends..I had a few, but they are kind of out of my life now(you know-married, kids)....it sucks! I'm able to be a social person when I want to, and wish I had a few people to just go chill with at a restaurant or something....anyway, after breaking up with my girlfrined last year, I haven't had one date in close to 6 months...I think the older you get the tougher it is to meet people in general..and VERY tough to meet a women to date and possibly have a relationship with( I'm not a bad looking guy)..I'm almost forced to join a bunch of organizations, etc..just to find a women..since I do want to get married someday...I have learned that you have to be aggressive in life, and even though its hard for me sometimes, I have really learned over the years to talk to just about any type of person. The women part is very frustrating though.

Cameron,

I have found that in the arena of romance, that when I lose someone's attention because a competitor was more agressive than me, then the person I was competing for was really just interested in a obnoxious, loud personality rather than me. You don't have to be aggressive to attract the opposite sex. You just have to look at who it is you're trying to win over: the gorgeous, overly confident girl who will walk all over you or the kind, intelligent, beautiful girl who truly cares about what you have to say. I was more attracted to the cool guy who didn't let those obnoxious jerks bother them.

Now, in the past, I had a bad habit of attracting the kind of folks who were overly agressive due to my shyness. They turned out to be abusive jerks who ran over me and took advantage of my kindness.

However, I have finally found love with an amazing guy who is much like me: giving, kind, grateful, and thoughtful. The good ones are out there. I know you might not believe that right now because you're frustrated, but it will happen. I went awhile before I found my current love....but he was definately worth the wait. And you are just getting back into dating. You'll get back into the groove soon enough.

Have fun and good luck to ya, hon!

I have two very close friends, one of them for over 25 years. I wonder why she has put up with me all these years.

I have a fair amount of "acquaintances." And go out only once in a while.

I am 43 years old and have had the same best friend since I was 4 years old. We lived 3 doors apart and did everything together. Our parents still live there.

When I was little, my sister, who is 1 year older than me, used to have to "translate" to my best friend what I said because I talked so "ADHDly fast".

We went all through elementary school and high school together. We would fight over the same boyfriends.

Our "goal" was to get a job where we are currently employed. We both just celebrated our 25 year work anniversary.

We rented our first house together (I think we were both 19) and boy did we have some parties. After a few years, we got a "divorce" as we call it. It was very hard to live with someone, drive to work with them, work with them, drive home with them, and hang out with the same people. Yuk. She moved in with her sister but we remained best friends. It was wayyyyyyy too much togetherness.

We have gone through so much together. We have so many stories (and pictures.)

Over the years, we have both changed alot. I got married and she was one of my brides maids. I have since had 2 kids. She is their surrogate mother. She never did get married or have kids but we still are best friends. We no longer have the same interests. She is into fostering rescued dogs and we are into weekends riding our Harley or going to the lake. She doesn't like doing either but we are still best friends.

We live 5 minutes apart and work in the same building. She is union and I am now management. We do not talk every single day but after all these years, we do not need to. People at work can't believe we have hung out so long. Since she is single, whenever she needs her driveway plowed or her car looked at, she knows who to call. My husband is always willing to help (which is a wonderful ADD trait he possesses.)

I have alot of friends and tons of acquaintances but besides my 2 sisters (who I usually hang around with), she is my "only" best friend. I hope she spelt my name correctly in her will :)

Sorry about the double post had an ADD moment I reckon

I've been a loner pretty much all my life. hard to make and keep friends. Seems like for one reason or another we just drift apart. even my marriage of 11 years is on the skids.
from me not being able to hold and keep a job for any length of time. tried meds for a while (stratera,wellbutrin) but the side effects created more problems than they solved
haven't been around this forum in awhile, but its good to know that I'm not alone with this problem.

It just dawned on me. Want to add to my earlier comment.

It's not that I want close friends and don't have them... It's more that I can live without them and still am pretty content. I'm a some kinda social weirdo? I mean a really weird weirdo - not just your run of the mill weirdo...

I could live with being weird but weird weird? That sounds twice as hard.

I never really did have many, if any friends at all. Still dont trust people, which makes my work kinda difficult. I guess the green day song sums it up :
" I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone "

btw, i agree with you moto. its not a wishing for close friends, bc i could pretty much survive without any friends. made it through most of high school without any friends at all. so its not that bad of a thing. for some odd reason, clubs , bars and social gathering make me uncomfortable and im more in my skin being by myself. its odd, its like i wanna find someoen \e, like a girlfriend or something, but im perfectly content on being alone by myself and dunno what to think of it.

btw, i agree with you moto. its not a wishing for close friends, bc i could pretty much survive without any friends. made it through most of high school without any friends at all. so its not that bad of a thing. for some odd reason, clubs , bars and social gathering make me uncomfortable and im more in my skin being by myself. its odd, its like i wanna find someoen \e, like a girlfriend or something, but im perfectly content on being alone by myself and dunno what to think of it.
Wow i feel the exact same way...i dunno what to think of feeling this way too...and it's getting to be a drag to be honest. I wish i was able to make up my mind. But everytime i seem to meet someone that there is some kind of connection, it really does not take me a whole lot to get bored with this person. I really do think i am doom to live alone, it's not that bad mind you, i have a very fun life, and i try to keep myself always learning new things. It's like people slow me down, on things i should be doing.

Interesting. I too get bored with people easily.

There has to be an increasing level of intensity at *something* in my relationships or they just wither. Either physically, intellectually or just plain unadulterated fun. If I can't get it all - I can live without it all.

I can see why there is increased substance abuse with ADDrs.

There has to be an increasing level of intensity at *something* in my relationships or they just wither. Either physically, intellectually or just plain unadulterated fun.
I can see why there is increased substance abuse with ADDrs.
That is it, motorbrain.
I find that usually people are very ''routinily''( i know bad spelling) .
Some do the same thing on some days ect. I had met this guy not to long ago, i knew in advance that on certain days he would be doing this or that.
I was like OMG, Calgon take me away from this lol. I dont think i want to know that for the rest of my life i will be going to bed at 10 pm, And on Sunday we play cards all afternnoon...GRRRRRrrr i dread that. I also found that people in general dont let themselves go on the moment , for new fun and interesting experiences as to be well thought out before they do it, they have to weigh the positive and the negative first. I am more alright lets try this, and we will see what happens.

Yep. That's on the money. If I'm not working, I want something new to add to the experience bank. Some activities have differences built-in, such as hunting. But others (like sedentary games) are so similar in their outcomes that they bore me to tears - which forces me to me to make them more fun.

With people it's a bit different. I can't force a person to have fun. Someone who is able to drop their baggage at a moments notice for an adventure (no matter how silly) is the kind of person that I respond to best. Sure, there is a time to be serious, we all have them...
But on the whole, there is an eternity out there for each of us to be quiet - there is little point in not singing while we can.

Lets be crazy Motorbrain and meet up in Vegas next week for a wedding :eek: LOL..
We'll see what happens after :eyebrow: :faint: :foot: :p

Lets be crazy Motorbrain and meet up in Vegas next week for a wedding :eek: LOL..
We'll see what happens after :eyebrow: :faint: :foot: :p

LOL! I went there about a year ago and it was like being in an architectural fever dream. :eek:

It was the only time I thought that the slogan "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" was a really, really good thing.

Although, I think every community should have at least one Elvis chapel. :)

I never went in Vegas myself... But i would love to atleast experiences it once. :p :)






LOL! I went there about a year ago and it was like being in an architectural fever dream. :eek:

It was the only time I thought that the slogan "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" was a really, really good thing.

Although, I think every community should have at least one Elvis chapel. :)

I never went in Vegas myself... But i would love to atleast experiences it once. :p :)
you got there happy and leave there broke also you sweat alot during the day






I never went there but i'm sure if i went that's how it will go

*dead pan voice* Wow. What a romantic place. No wonder people flock there to get married, that's definitely my idea of a good time. Or maybe it's just Elvis.

you got there happy and leave there broke also you sweat alot during the day

I never went there but i'm sure if i went that's how it will go
LOL MC your romatism ( i probably made that word up :rolleyes: ) never cease to amaze me :eek: . Or would that be the lack of ?? heheheheeh

I see happy and i see sweat 2 words i love in one sentence....so what the hell is wrong with going there LOL....

Digitl who is handing her hand to EYEFORGOT :p :eyebrow: :faint: :rolleyes: :)

*dead pan voice*
What does a dead pan voice sounds like?

Rather like a monotone. Without genuine emotion and usually meant to be sarcastic.

*slaps Digi's hand since she asked for it*

LOL you could have kisses it :confused: :eyebrow: :faint: :foot: :p

you did not have to slap me so hard either , you , you...EYEFORGOT lol :)

Oh. You mean you didn't want me to take you seriously?

Ok, kisses, all better.

I have had very few strong relationships. Most have been short and intense and are with me nearly everyday. I have hurt some friendships and have destroyed them subsequently. I am not a loner, as I enjoy meeting people that challenge me intellectually on certain levels. I was married for eight years and went through hell and got taken to the cleaners by my own doing. I had the courage to get divorced. I am in a new relationship over two years and hope that I will not hurt her with my complete lack of diplomacy and what can be perceived as selfishness. I am busy destroying a friendship that meant all the world to me not so long ago. He is the best friend I have had in a long time. Not sure if people with ADD are bad at relationships or if it is their lack of communications skills with "normal" people that is lacking.

I have a heart of gold and have very few ways to demonstrate this!

I have a heart of gold and have very few ways to demonstrate this!
I like that sentence Watson... :)

I feel the same way, seems i am not able to bring, all i am inside, to the outside. :eyebrow: :D

Digitl,
So how long have you been psychic? Did the math today and found it would be advantageous for me to go Vegas in early May for a trade show. Strange eh?

Don't like Vegas too much and thankfully would only have to be there a few days.
MB

LOL MC your romatism ( i probably made that word up :rolleyes: ) never cease to amaze me :eek: . Or would that be the lack of ?? heheheheeh

I see happy and i see sweat 2 words i love in one sentence....so what the hell is wrong with going there LOL....

Digitl who is handing her hand to EYEFORGOT :p :eyebrow: :faint: :rolleyes: :)
I forgot about the hoover dawmn how exciting

I'm definitely not a loner... I like having as many people in my life as I can trust. I connect with very few people, however. If I don't have alot in common with a person, I just see no reason to have them in my life. I also won't allow anyone in my life that I don't feel I can trust. That leaves me with very few friends. My ex had tons of so-called friends, but he couldn't trust a one of them. Who needs friends like that? That's not what I consider a friend, that is just hoards of aquaintances, including people you would not want to know your business, knowing it.

Digitl,
So how long have you been psychic? Did the math today and found it would be advantageous for me to go Vegas in early May for a trade show. Strange eh?

Don't like Vegas too much and thankfully would only have to be there a few days.
MB
See Motorbrain,,,,, it's a sign to be adventurous.....:rolleyes:

So elope :eek: :p

Wow Digi, that was very bold and romantic of you. Since this is probably the first proposal on the forum I hope motorbrain accepts.

I'm definitely not a loner... I like having as many people in my life as I can trust. I connect with very few people, however. If I don't have alot in common with a person, I just see no reason to have them in my life. I also won't allow anyone in my life that I don't feel I can trust. That leaves me with very few friends. My ex had tons of so-called friends, but he couldn't trust a one of them. Who needs friends like that? That's not what I consider a friend, that is just hoards of aquaintances, including people you would not want to know your business, knowing it.


Trust is certainly key in any close relationship. I think it is a key issue for ADDers as we need those around us who can accept and deal with the way we are. Maybe that's why we have so few friends, not many can deal with us as is.

A little off topic here, but maybe it is an ADD thing too.

Everytime I read the title to this thread, I think it says "Are Adults with ADD losers, instead of loners?" Why, do I do this.

This might have a lot to do with why I am a loser....er, I mean loner! :D

Someone with your intelligence is no way a loser. And we're all intelligent enough to try and protect ourselves from trivial, meaningless relationships.

Where's Chain? He'd have something very intelligent and insightful to say about this. I'm not studied in psychology and that would help express my thoughts about now.

See Motorbrain,,,,, it's a sign to be adventurous.....:rolleyes:

So elope :eek: :p


LOL! I'll have to pass. Mrs Motorbrain would ekonk me for eloping.

LOL! I'll have to pass. Mrs Motorbrain would ekonk me for eloping.
:eek: :foot: :faint: :eyebrow: :faint: Your married.....awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shoot...


OKey Dokey..next LOL....:p :D

:eek: :foot: :faint: :eyebrow: :faint: Your married.....awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shoot...


OKey Dokey..next LOL....:p :D

No no. It's not too late! See the discussion we're having in the "Rumors" thread. He just meant eloping with someone else in America. Make sure he knows you're in Canada....I hear he has a family in every country! (:foot: Chel gossips, see what I mean MB, I'm a bad girl :p )

Motorbrain...tell your wife you're going to a Canadian ADD Convention. I'll cover for you. ;) :D

LOLOLOL oh DEar, i almost ****ed my panties Chel :eyebrow: :foot: :rolleyes: :p :D

LOL you are a terrible little devil....but i love it :cool:


No no. It's not too late! See the discussion we're having in the "Rumors" thread. He just meant eloping with someone else in America. Make sure he knows you're in Canada....I hear he has a family in every country! (:foot: Chel gossips, see what I mean MB, I'm a bad girl :p )

Motorbrain...tell your wife you're going to a Canadian ADD Convention. I'll cover for you. ;) :D

:eek: :foot: :faint: :eyebrow: :faint: Your married.....awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shoot...


OKey Dokey..next LOL....:p :D


LOL! I feel so, so used!!! :( :p

No no. It's not too late! See the discussion we're having in the "Rumors" thread. He just meant eloping with someone else in America. Make sure he knows you're in Canada....I hear he has a family in every country! (:foot: Chel gossips, see what I mean MB, I'm a bad girl :p )

Motorbrain...tell your wife you're going to a Canadian ADD Convention. I'll cover for you. ;) :D


Digtl's from CANADA! WOO WOO!

;)

You ARE naughty!

I know I wrote a reply it is so frustrating to find your post is gone . I would liek to say something else but wont. Too upset to reply now.

I am double checking on this. I am not aware of any problems in this thread (other than the humor being a bit off topic) and there have been no reasons to remove any posts. I will double check to see if I can find the mistake. It may be as simple as you responded in another thread or a computer glitch that prevented your post from appearing.

Please do not hesitate to contact a moderator should you have another problem like this. If there is a problem with your post we would contact you immediately along with any action taken should it be necessary. I hope this is reassuring.

Folks, we have gotten off-topic, humorously, but off-topic, and I'm the ring-leader. So, back to the subject at hand.

Are we loners and how do we make/keep friends, or how we push others away?

Thank you all for sharing your experiences.

Folks, we have gotten off-topic, humorously, but off-topic, and I'm the ring-leader. So, back to the subject at hand.

Are we loners and how do we make/keep friends, or how we push others away?

Thank you all for sharing your experiences.
party pooper LOL :eyebrow: :p :)

Must re...sist....temp...tation...

*[raspberry] thppppppppt!*

so much for self-control

roflmbo!!!!! Great self control Chel......hee hee! (Glad to know you are just as ADD as the rest of us!! LOL)

Was there every any doubt?

Hee hee hee, if there was, it's gone now!

You are funny, and a great moderator too btw!


I think you and digitl and motobrain should start a "goof off" thread. You three are hilarious!!!!

Hee hee hee, if there was, it's gone now!

You are funny, and a great moderator too btw!


I think you and digitl and motobrain should start a "goof off" thread. You three are hilarious!!!!
Me and Chel we love to abuse poor little married man LOL....and Motorbrain is a great guy to play around with lol... :p

Good idea about the goof off thread,,,hopefully you will join us :D

My partner in crime and I don't seem limited to just this thread. I can't have just one "goof off" thread, I need spontaneity. We seem to turn every conversation into goofing off. I'll probably be demoted and given the title "Off Topic Moderator".

I'm just sad that the State Department refused to let me invade Canada.

Sigh....

I'm just sad that the State Department refused to let me invade Canada.

Sigh....
Invade?????

I am glad there are some laws between USA and Canada :rolleyes: :)

See Vanna fishy, another one bites the dust.....another one good for the nice white suit that attachs in the back.

Should i still follow YOUR instincts on dudes??? LOLOL :p :eek: :eyebrow: :faint: :D

why not!!! It makes life exciting for a few days LOL...:rolleyes: :)

What's wrong with my instincts on dudes? I'M not chasing my mailman down for a good time! Of course she is pretty...but I digress.

You're right...my way is exciting. ;)

What's wrong with my instincts on dudes? I'M not chasing my mailman down for a good time! Of course she is pretty...but I digress.

You're right...my way is exciting. ;)
Fishy....first i am not , and i repeat not Chasing the mailman. I said somedays, i feel like it...but i still have not done it. Cause i aint there yet

There LOL...

:)

Fishy....first i am not , and i repeat not Chasing the mailman. I said somedays, i feel like it...but i still have not done it. Cause i aint there yet

There LOL...

:)
that's what i'm doing wrong wearing no uniform rofl :faint:

I am careful who I have as friends. First as a woman, well women tend to back bite, and judge each other. I like people who are just real, people who are comfortable enough to be themselves. I have two good women friends, One who is older and sort fits the big sister thing and a younger friend with an old soul who I can party with and listen to good music. Both don't judge my very lived in house or the fact that I rarely wear make up or dress up.

You sound like my kind of woman to hang out with mrsnurse. A few accepting friends is better than a lot of people you don't know if you can really count on.

I have learned that true friendship is the person who can be 100% real with, without fear of being judged. I am going fishing next weekend with a good friend...... that to me is fun. My husband in alot of ways is my best friend.....even when I drive him crazy. He was one of the few men who looked at me and like the fact I could dress up if I choose to or go camping and fishing if it suited me. But I have never understood how women could smile and back bite each other....I mean what is the point?

Fut's got me looking around in the social forum, I seemed to have missed it. I am in the 11 persent tile lots of friends and many close friends.

I seem to grade friends on one scale. I am a very open person and social to the point of driving many folks away because of my honesty. They can't handle that. But the ones that can quickly become good friends. Most of these frinds are hunters these days but there are good friends from all seasons on my life.
> My father is a man who will do anything for people and he rubed off in a big way on my brothers and sister.
. Now if someone wants to take advantage of me I will give them enough rope to hang themselves GOOD! I will not cut them down, I just leave them hanging. No need to address these kinds of relationships it's not worth the time.

I've never been able to keep a lot of friends going in my life. That kind of thing seems to go in cycles for me.... I have a few friends, we have fun but eventually, they fade out of my life. Sooner or later, I meet up with other people that I hang with & become friends with.

Most people, I keep at arms' length in a friendly way because I really don't feel okay letting too many people see 'the real me' for fear they'll abandon me. Don't get me wrong, I like people, it's just that I've been burned a few too many times for me to be totally open.

Most of the time, I'm more or less on my own.

. Now if someone wants to take advantage of me I will give them enough rope to hang themselves GOOD! I will not cut them down, I just leave them hanging. No need to address these kinds of relationships it's not worth the time.
I agree, that is what i do also :p :)