View Full Version : Too many memories coming back at once.


SilentDaydream
08-30-13, 05:12 PM
Hey All,

I am uncertain as to how to describe this situation I am in, but by the will of God, I hope that I can really allow myself to convey this issue clearly and get passed it.

About two months ago, I had a nervous breakdown and when I had came too, I didn't really have much memory of what happened that day or with certain events that happened prior to my past. I have since then been taking it slowly day by day and been getting a flood of memories that really have been effecting how I really live, One of them regarding my eating habits. I love to cook and even more so eating what I just cooked (Italian of course being my favourite style), However my love for eating has caused me to over-eat far too much and honestly, I didn't think it was an issue until now.

While walking home today I suddenly had a memory come rushing back.

I had been in relationship with a guy (whom shall remain anonymous) and had enjoyed being with him for quite sometime, but as life would have it, things went from happy to completely miserable. He ended up being rather abusive towards me and of course with the abusive one thing that had come into play was my weight. At the time, I had been a healthy weight weighing 119 pounds but according to him, I was fat.

In this memory I remembered sitting down at a table looking at a plate of food and him standing next to me forcing me to eat even when I wasn't hungry. My ex would just continue saying "You're obese anyway so why not finish your plate" being in mind that it was more food than was necessary. Then as the memory played out I saw myself force eating just because he told me too and just as quickly as it came, it left.

Honestly, I have no idea what to really think and maybe it's a real eye opener to really change how I eat. But now that I know this, I am honestly now reluctant to eat anything at all.

Any help? Maybe I am over thinking it.

Some suggestion and advice would be really great.

Sincerely,

Stephanie

FlightyBroad
01-03-14, 12:30 PM
I don't know much about controlling eating issues, as I am extremely obese myself (due to emotional eating). But as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I have dealt with flashbacks to abusive situations!
One thing I learned in therapy is a technique called "grounding". This is just basically focusing on the present until the panic subsides. To do this, you literally stop and feel the ground under your feet, feel the chair under your body, feel the fabric of your clothing against your skin...focus on the details of where you are at this exact moment in time. This will bring your thinking into the present, and help you realize that you are not in that past situation still, you are here and now.
And while I am not a professional of any kind, flashbacks, panic attacks or troubling memories related to abuse (and yes, being forced to eat while being called names IS abuse!!) might be symptoms of PTSD. You might benefit from exploring that, and getting some help if needed. Just a thought.
Good luck to you! Feel free to PM me if you want :)