View Full Version : Be attractive


Kapios1
08-31-13, 06:58 AM
I am trying to be attractive to some women , but As most of my friends say:"you are attractive till you open your mouth".That sucks , when I am talking to a woman I get stressed so I said always what I am thinking and that has catastrophic results, even though I am trying to show attention when they talk to me, but I always get destructed from everything around .Do anyone has the same problem? any ideas?

Inamort
10-05-13, 08:26 PM
I've found it to be difficult to even be interested and attending to small things like this. It's not that I want to avoid it or think it's scary, it's just that I don't care enough to really engage in a useless conversation but do care enough to not just wave it off. It seems just acting relaxed and plain is the best way for now.

BellaVita
10-05-13, 08:59 PM
It's okay, you're not alone. :)

Maybe have some questions memorized before talking to the ladies, just some generic questions. People love being asked about themselves, and at least what you'll be saying makes you seem like you're truly interested in the other person.

Are you on medication?

L0ner0706
10-05-13, 10:18 PM
Hahaha i feel you bro. I end up talking their ear off until they "politely excuse themselves". The struggle's real :lol:

dvdnvwls
10-05-13, 10:42 PM
Do you agree with your friends' assessment, or would you argue that it's not true?

Learning special techniques or strange tricks to play on yourself, to make yourself shut up, might be useful. Such as (I don't know, maybe this is stupid, maybe it's worth a try...) when you get the urge to speak but you know it's socially a bad idea, wiggle the toes on your left foot as a secret reminder to not do it. Perhaps that's totally the wrong type of thing to be doing, but I'm pretty sure that "having a thing to do instead of talk" wouldn't be a bad idea.

Kapios1
10-08-13, 10:08 AM
It's okay, you're not alone. :)

Maybe have some questions memorized before talking to the ladies, just some generic questions. People love being asked about themselves, and at least what you'll be saying makes you seem like you're truly interested in the other person.

Are you on medication?
No I actually stopped medication, because I found that I medications was bad for my creativity.
Hahaha i feel you bro. I end up talking their ear off until they "politely excuse themselves". The struggle's real :lol:
haaha :D Yeah :)
Do you agree with your friends' assessment, or would you argue that it's not true?

Learning special techniques or strange tricks to play on yourself, to make yourself shut up, might be useful. Such as (I don't know, maybe this is stupid, maybe it's worth a try...) when you get the urge to speak but you know it's socially a bad idea, wiggle the toes on your left foot as a secret reminder to not do it. Perhaps that's totally the wrong type of thing to be doing, but I'm pretty sure that "having a thing to do instead of talk" wouldn't be a bad idea.
Actualy I have tried tricks like this and still I cant keep my mouth closed:P

Fuzzy12
10-08-13, 10:09 AM
Hm, what's so bad about saying what you are thinking? Do you mean that you don't sound coherent? Or do you say anything inappropriate? or do you just talk too much?

Corina86
10-08-13, 11:25 AM
I don't think that talking too much is such an issue. I think that not being able to listen is what's truly bothering the ladies.

They probably feel you don't care about them or you think very little of them and their thoughts, opinions or personalities don't matter. Unfortunately it's pretty often among non-ADHD guys as well.

You don't have to stop talking, you have to start listening.

For starters, tell the person you are talking to that you have ADHD and what it means. Lots of girls might be put of by that, but at least they won't find your behavior offensive.

Try fidgeting when listening to someone and, if it bothers them, tell them you can't help it. Also, try being an "active listener" by making short non-interruptive remarks while they talk (really?, wow!, interesting!, probably, aham, no-way!) and by having an appropriate body language. Making facial expressions and watching body language is something that might keep you busy while listening.

I don't know if all these things will work for you, but they worked for me (after some exercise) and it might help.

I'm the typical "forever alone" that gives advices to others on relationships:D!

Reekwind
10-08-13, 11:25 AM
I'm pretty sure a lot of girls would find it cute that you say dumb stuff! :) I've heard girls say that they think so of me at times when I've blurted out random and silly stuff. ^^

Fuzzy12
10-08-13, 11:41 AM
For me personally, talking too much is an issue. :eek:

I'm not even that bothered if people listen to me but if they talk too much it drives me crazy!!! :eek:

But that's just me, I think. From what I've seen how much someone talks doesn't really affect their ability to attract others.

And Reek, yes it is cute. Well, I guess it depends on what exactly the dumb stuff is. :scratch:

dannnl
10-09-13, 02:45 AM
You sound like me, when talking to people I don't know really well I try really hard to listen to what they say and not get distracted, but that itself turns into the distraction! I'm too paranoid about not seeming like I'm interested that it stops me from being casual and having a normal conversation, now I'm on meds its not really a problem, you said it hinders your creativity? so just don't take them all the time, when you're going somewhere you need to socialize like a club take them, its what I do

Kapios1
10-15-13, 10:20 AM
Hm, what's so bad about saying what you are thinking? Do you mean that you don't sound coherent? Or do you say anything inappropriate? or do you just talk too much?

All of that :P

Actually where I living ADHD isnt well known so More people believe that ADHD is something like you are a psycho , so I prefer not ot tell them about this.
I dont know but I feel like I gonna be alone for a long time ;P