View Full Version : Life sucks


Fuzzy12
09-06-13, 09:21 AM
The last ten years have been such a struggle. I'm constantly fighting the depression, the never ending mood swings, my brain, myself. For what? I don't know. It's not like I believe there is any meaning in anything. It's just that feeling better somehow seems more desirable than feeling **** but I guess, it doesn't really matter.

I'm tired. I feel as if someone (most probably me) threw me against a wall and now I've shattered into a million pieces. Too many to put back together.

Is it true that depression causes physical changes in the brain? Are they irreversible?

Sorry, just whining again. Feeling pretty ****ty. :(

pooka
09-06-13, 09:51 AM
((((Fuzzy))))

Keep fighting. :grouphug:

someothertime
09-06-13, 11:01 AM
:grouphug:

Fuzzy12
09-06-13, 02:11 PM
I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't help myself and nobody and nothing else seems to be able to help me either.

Today morning I felt good, almost a bit hypo but it passed too quickly.

It's not that life is so bad, it's just that I'm absolutely crap at living. Living is an art that I still haven't learnt. I know how to survive but that's about all.

sarahsweets
09-06-13, 02:54 PM
I know the UK healthcare system sucks but i really think you need inpatient treatment at a hospital.

Fuzzy12
09-06-13, 02:56 PM
I know the UK healthcare system sucks but i really think you need inpatient treatment at a hospital.

how would that help? I'm not suicidal :scratch:

sarahsweets
09-06-13, 03:22 PM
immediate med stabilization, getting your eating disorder in check, group therapy, 1-1 threrapy and doctor supervision.

Fuzzy12
09-06-13, 03:27 PM
But how do I check myself in? :scratch:

Tinatheawesome
09-06-13, 05:12 PM
go to a hospital and tell people that work you wanted have inpatient care

fracturedstory
09-06-13, 09:54 PM
Not irreversible. I know bipolar meds can help grow back areas of the brain that shrink the longer you remain untreated. The brain is plastic anyway. People can fully recover from strokes and with successful treatment depression can be managed.

Lately, I've felt that I'm experiencing less and less mania/hypomania and that I always fall back into depression so I know how it feels. I go through a lot of self-doubt and I'm not in a very stable place, geographically, mentally, and emotionally.

I keep thinking I'll end up institutionalized.

purpleToes
09-07-13, 12:07 AM
...
Is it true that depression causes physical changes in the brain? Are they irreversible?
...

So sorry you're having a bad time, Fuzzy :( You're a sweet, smart, funny and kind person who I've seen offer a lot of support to others here.

Seconding what Fracturedstory said. Yes it causes changes, but no, they are not irreversible. The brain is very plastic and constantly changing, rewiring, remodeling in response to everything it is exposed to (including even your own thoughts, which is why downward spirals can be hard to get out of).

Fuzzy12
09-07-13, 07:52 PM
Angry, sad, and frustrated. I want to hit something, someone or maybe I just want to sleep. It's just all so wrong. I'm bored of life but death doesn't seem too exciting either. Life and death that both suck. Everything sucks. Or probably it's just me :(

Amtram
09-07-13, 09:37 PM
Can you think of anything you can change?

For years, my therapists told me the prayer of St. Augustine. I got the idea of having the strength to change and having the courage to face what you couldn't, I just didn't understand the difference between what I could change and what I couldn't.

And that's the most important part. Have you thought that out, or is it still too hard to tell the difference?

dvdnvwls
09-07-13, 11:13 PM
It's not that life is so bad, it's just that I'm absolutely crap at living. Living is an art that I still haven't learnt. I know how to survive but that's about all.
Fuzzy - I want to ask a question but I don't want it to sound harsh so I'm putting this padding sentence in front of it. To show that I come in peace, or something like that. :o

What's the difference, for you, between the surviving kind of life and the art kind of life?

(Partly asking because I have part of a container of yellow paint left over; if you can use it...) ;)