I am looking on past relationships and am quite sure I put more of the tasks onto my partner at the time. When I look back,I probably acted best for myself when I was not in a relationship, and it was necessary for me to shoulder all of my own responsibility. This is a bad habit that I need to be aware of and will need retraining to make sure I do not let other people around me "finish the details".Things like shopping, cooking, making plans, cleaning, paperwork, are all tasks that need to get done but not at the top of my priority list.

ADD, is quite sobering when you look at your long undiagnosed history, and how it affected other people. I think it is best to not be in a relationship for the next while. I feel like I finally have the ability to understand myself.

well it's good to se eyoure finally understanding yourself.
and it's also good that you recognise that a relationship isnt the best thing for you to be in right now.

IMO, there's nothing wrong with relying on a partner for certain things at all. That's why they're called partners! Of course, it runs two ways, so you should be prepared for that.

When I learned I had ADD, I really felt bad for the way I treated my gf at the time. It took me a while to forgive myself for it, even though she didn't seem too upset about it. I'm sure she liked me better after I got on my meds, though! If you're single right now, there's sure nothing wrong with taking a little time to sort things out. ADD comes with a lot of issues, especially if you are diagnosed as an adult.

relationships is only good if the other person has money, besides that relationships are useless. My girlfriend knows how I feel, know her for over 8 years, and I would leave her for a girl with money on the spot. Love is fake in this world, Love is for people who don't have money, or know they can't make money in this world.

T-Bass

I'm a dependant in monetary terms. I'm no longer a dependant that does not pull his weight. As has been mentioned, being diagnosed as an adult brings with it all the unfinished baggage of a life of struggle as it has for me too.

I'm a believer in love. I see love as a verb. It's something I do.

Through learning to care for myself and appreciate more of the positive elements I bring to a relationship instead of focusing always on the negative, things are much better for everyone around me.

When my skills in self care became stronger many new possibilities opened up for me. This new strength has really taken off since the new year. It's been building up steadily for a year and a half.

Any personal growth done ahead of time is an asset to interpersonal relationships.

I'm trying to be careful not to beat myself over the head trying to do things I'm very bad at doing, like remembering or focusing on a single task. Instead I'm trying to partner up with others and using other helpers like timers and alarms to assist me where I am weak.

Focusing more on the positive strengths, affects my whole life from top to bottom. I've been bombarding myself with negative messages my whole life and it hasn't helped me one bit! I'm now able to identify and accept many more positive things I have to offer and the changes throughout my life have been dramatic and so much more joyful.

This point in the previous paragraph is covered well for me in Sari Solden's book "Journey's Through ADDulthood".

I have let go of as many expectations and constaints as I can identify. I practise letting go through meditation twice daily. If something comes my way so be it. If not I have no shortage of things to do in the mean time. I can't change others but I can change me.
Cheers! Ian.

A well known plea I have learnt from.

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
The courage to change the things I can
And wisdom to know the difference."