View Full Version : I'm feeling strange


Fuzzy12
10-09-13, 09:08 AM
Really strange. I don't think, I've ever felt this way before. I keep telling myself I shouldn't analyse it and just enjoy it while it lasts, but well, I can't. Or don't want to. I want to know what this is. I mean, if an emotion can ever be anything concrete.

I'm not sure how to describe it, especialy since I don't really understand it myself. I'm feeling pleasant. I don't know actually what I'm feeling except that it's pleasant. I think, it might be caused by the withdrawal drom Sertraline. I'm not sure but it started when I stopped taking Sertraline (I took my last pills exactly a week ago). Or maybe it's because, this week, some of you have been insanely kind to me. I don't think it's that to be honest but well that's felt nice as well. Chicken soup for the soul. :)

I'm not hypomanic. I don't feel driven, active or social. On the contrary. Physically, I'm not doing so great. I'm very light headed, my ears are ringing, I got brain zaps (I think) and I'm very tired. I've got the flu as well as and most of the time it feels as if I'm burning up.

My productivity has reduced to zero, both at work and at home. I've got quite a few urgent tasks to do. Urgent, but also easy and interesting. Still, I'm not doing them. I tried, but my brain just can't seem to grip anything.

It's not stressing me though. It should but it's not.

Maybe I'm feeling at peace. Maybe happy in a very detached way? Detached but at the same time I want to give everyone and everything a hug. I feel hugely grateful, not just to people but also because the sky has been so beautiful. I don't have a lot of experience with recreational drugs but maybe I'm feeling a bit stoned?

Can anyone relate? Probably not, because I haven't really explained it. Could it really be just the withdrawal from Sertraline?

Abi
10-09-13, 09:29 AM
You should not be on Sertraline without concomitantly taking a mood stabiliser.

Also, most Bipolar people have atypical depression, of which a key feature is mood reactivity, which means that positive experiences can reduce the severity of the depression - like people being nice to you. I hope I count amoung that number - despite staking you. Twice.

:)

Fuzzy12
10-09-13, 09:39 AM
You do :grouphug:.

I don't mind getting staked and I loved getting staked twice thanks to Amtram :D

I stopped lamotrigine months ago. I was just taking Sertraline 200mg till last week and I'm not taking anything else. Can hypomania be caused by stopping your anti depressant?

(Strangely, my most severe hypomanic episode occured when I was titrating down venlafaxine).

I know, that my mood is very reactive but usually the reaction or the change in my mood is instantaneous and severe. Right now, I'm feeling more stable. I still react and I've had a few unhappy hours this week as well but even those seemed normal. Understandable and what's more, neither did they seem excessive nor fatalistic. My circumstances aren't really that positive at the moment. Neither are they worse than normal. It doesn't feel as if I'm reacting to anything. :scratch:

positive experiences can reduce the severity of the depression

Maybe that's it. Maybe this positive feeling is just the absence of negative feelings if that makes any sense? :scratch:

Abi
10-09-13, 10:11 AM
It does make sense.

It's called euthymia. It's how I imagine NT'ers feel most of the time :(

TygerSan
10-09-13, 10:32 AM
Brain zaps and flu-like symptoms are part and parcel of SSRI withdrawal. Just sayin.

Fuzzy12
10-09-13, 10:47 AM
Brain zaps and flu-like symptoms are part and parcel of SSRI withdrawal. Just sayin.


What about flu like symptoms like fever, cough, runny nose, congestion, etc.?

Blanched Dubois
10-09-13, 10:47 AM
Not to mention that a human being is in constant flux - change is all you can count on. If it's a med change or just your own growth and perceptions that are expanding - who cares as long as you can deal with the 'strange'.

A sense of humor at myself and being really attentive to my internal life and then not second guessing what I know is how I remain free from fear and anxiety and negativity that is always ready to come out and vomit ego crap all over the place.....i prefer to witness the stuff...

i asked my son btw if he noticed 'the witness' inside.....that part of 'us' that's not attached to 'it all' - just watches

he said 'nope' - then i realized - he hasn't fallen from his head to his heart yet

heh

anyway Fuzzeh one strategy i employ if i get to feeling scattered at work is to stop, breath deep for a minute and slow the heart beat - counts of 7 in and hold for 7 and out for 7

then i'll look at something - hold my attention to what i 'see' without 'thinking' and then return my attention to myself.....it's a strategy i was taught be a real bhodi long time ago

that works - it develops a practice of 'one thing at a time' and 'feeling good' at the same time

Fuzzy12
10-09-13, 10:48 AM
It does make sense.

It's called euthymia. It's how I imagine NT'ers feel most of the time :(

You think??? But this is really pleasant. I can't imagine that anyone feels like this most of the time. I didn't even feel like this as a kid, I think. :scratch:

Fuzzy12
10-09-13, 07:07 PM
I've just been reading up on ssri discontinuation syndrome and a very rare but possible symptom is hypomania. Apparently it can happen in uni polar depression as well.

Sigh so I guess it's c just temporary then.

The other symptoms that I'm having are pretty much standard ie common discontinuation symptoms. Usually they last between 1 - 3 weeks. Also there doesn't seem to be overwhelm i ng evidence that tapering dOwn the dose slowly helps significantly though theoretically it makes a lot of sense.

Rebelyell
10-09-13, 09:51 PM
Im really lightheaded myself last 5 days not from wd tho.

Fuzzy12
10-10-13, 12:19 AM
Why are you light headed rebs? Not feeling well? are you eating enough?

Fuzzy12
10-10-13, 04:38 AM
Uggh...I feel sick. I know, it's my own fault. Yesterday night I was thinking that I'd happily accept all the physical withdrawal symptoms as long as the slight hypomania lasts for a bit longer but now I really wish the nausea and light-headedness would stop. I hate nausea. Really, really, really hate it. It feels like "Uggh...I have to be nauseated but I don't even get to be pregnant. Not fair!!!" (I know, that doesn't make any sense).

Apart from that, the slight hypomania or whatever it is, really helps. Someone bumped into me today on my commute to work. Well, their car bumped into mine. The strange thing was that I was so distracted, I had no clue what had just happened when I felt the jolt. I was wondering if I rear ended the car in front of me, or if I had just dropped something or driven over something (I was standing still...at the traffic lights) or if maybe I rolled back into the car behind me. I had to check the inclination of the road to assure myself that it really wasn't my fault. And I had to ask the driver of the car behind me if he had really just bumped into me. :doh:

He was super sweet though (and there seems to be no damage to my car thankfully) and that turned out to be the most exciting experience of my commute. After that I got stuck in horrible, horrible traffic. What should normally not take longer than 20mins took me 1 hour and 15 mins. :mad: I hate being stuck in traffic. It sucks the life out of me. :mad:

[/overreaction over]

Sorry, for the rant. I just hate traffic jams. :mad:

I think, I'm actually angry with traffic for raining on my parade :umm1: :doh: