View Full Version : ***Potential Trigger*** I need some encouragement please lovely peoples


midnightstar
11-15-13, 06:42 PM
I got two weeks to get rid of something I use against myself

My psych nurse said I got to get rid of it

I need cyber-encouragement to throw it away please lovely ADDFers <3:grouphug:

Rebelyell
11-15-13, 06:47 PM
Is it something destructive or does it have sentimental value that your having a hard time throwing it awsy?

someothertime
11-15-13, 06:53 PM
"giving" takes the edge off throwing ;)

sarek
11-15-13, 06:55 PM
I know you can do it Star. I have faith in you.

Lunacie
11-15-13, 07:03 PM
When you're sweeping out the cobwebs, you have to deal with a spider or two.

Be strong, m'dear. We really do have your back. :grouphug:

stef
11-15-13, 07:04 PM
you can do this!

Abi
11-15-13, 07:08 PM
You can do it :grouphug:

midnightstar
11-15-13, 07:10 PM
Is it something destructive or does it have sentimental value that your having a hard time throwing it awsy?

Something destructive that I can get out easily Rebs

Hence why psych nurse said I got to get rid of it

Rebelyell
11-15-13, 07:16 PM
Well throw it the hell out then its causing you nothing but grief n pain.

namazu
11-15-13, 07:35 PM
I chucked something like that into Lake Michigan once upon a time.

(But the waste bin works, too...as long as you take out the trash immediately so you can't retrieve it.)

:grouphug:

Fuzzy12
11-15-13, 07:37 PM
Do it right now star. Don't think. Break it and throw it right now. You can do this.

when I did it made all the difference. It wasn't easy. I had to get angry first. I didn't realize it immediately but throwing it broke the spell it had over me. Throw r it away and then you ll know how much stronger you are than a nasty little object

Rebelyell
11-15-13, 08:07 PM
What are you talking bout fuzzy a crack freebase pipe?

dvdnvwls
11-16-13, 01:39 AM
midnightstar: whatever it is, first smash it/break it/do whatever it takes to make it permanently useless and non-repairable, and then get it out of your house and out of your life.

You don't need any two weeks. In fact two weeks is far too long. It will probably be Saturday morning or afternoon for you before you read this message; if it isn't gone yet, then do it now. If you're having trouble about wanting to retrieve it, you can ship whatever-it-is to me and I promise I'll throw it away without opening it. PM if necessary.

purpleToes
11-16-13, 04:08 AM
Hard to tell what we're talking about here, but breaking it/throwing it away only solves part of the problem if it's replaceable. If you're having a hard time letting it go, maybe it's because you had some good times together once upon a time, or it did something for you that you liked. It could help to acknowledge that loss, as well as the pain and damage that it causes you to keep it around. This might sound weird, but in a sense, you are "breaking up" with it. If that's an idea that makes sense to you, you could tell it (verbally, in a letter, or in your mind) how you feel about your past together and why it's time for you to move on without it. Then follow through. It may hurt of course, but then you WILL have your freedom. Good luck!

amberwillow
11-16-13, 06:37 AM
You can do it Star!

midnightstar
11-16-13, 08:21 AM
Am I allowed to say what it is without getting into trouble? :o

TygerSan
11-16-13, 09:02 AM
The only reason why you wouldn't be able to say is if it is illegal to own and/or it would make you uncomfortable to admit on open forums.

And even if, hypothetically speaking, we were talking about banned substances for example, the fact that you want to get rid of them means that you are not condoning.

Rebelyell
11-16-13, 09:15 AM
Dont wait 2 days dont even wait 2 more minutes get rid of it n dont look back.you have alot of good qualities and seem like a sweet person , you need to get right so you can fully become that person you really are!:)

midnightstar
11-16-13, 10:23 AM
I broke it and threw the handle away but I still got the sharp bit it made me put it back in the drawer

namazu
11-16-13, 10:56 AM
Midnightstar, good first step. :grouphug:

Do you think you could take it out and try again?

It cannot make you keep it. If it is gone, it can't hurt you.

Amtram
11-16-13, 11:28 AM
star, anything you own that makes your life worse, not better, is worth getting rid of - but getting rid of one of those things is usually easier said than done.

From your description, it sounds like an item used for self-harm? Harder still, because the self-harm serves a purpose on its own, and getting rid of the item alone doesn't get rid of the desire for self-harm. But it's a start. A big start.

I think maybe you should also start an empowering inner dialogue for yourself when you start thinking about the item, wanting to use it, wishing you still had it, any of those thoughts that might trigger or reinforce the negative feelings that made you attached to the object in the first place.

For example, "I wish I hadn't thrown it away - but I am a human being, and stronger than any inanimate object could ever be."

"If I still had it, I could be using it right now - but now it can't tell me what to do, and I can choose to do something else."

"I would feel so much better if I still had this thing - wait - no, I wouldn't, because it was never a real solution, just a temporary distraction that didn't really help in the end."

"Maybe I could use something different - but then I would be giving my power away again, letting something else take my strength and willpower away from me."

Find simple statements that you can memorize and repeat. Make them kind of a mantra.

And I'm sure your nurse has told you to find a substitute - some kind of activity that you can pursue each time thoughts of this thing that hurts you come into your head and sound appealing. Don't latch onto just one of them and give up if it doesn't work. Try one for a week or two. Consciously, deliberately. Write it on your hand with a Sharpie marker or something if you need that kind of reminder. If it doesn't work, or doesn't work well, it doesn't mean that you're "hopeless" or that this method itself is a failure, it just means that that particular substitute isn't the right one, and you should move on to a different one.

It doesn't matter what that substitute is. It doesn't have to have a purpose. Unless you think it would work better for you if it did. My own example - when I'm having negative feelings about myself, I like to do things that will result in a visible difference right after I'm done. I can't commit to an exercise program because the improvements aren't immediate, but I can pull out weeds from the garden, clean out part of a room, do the kind of vacuuming job that involves moving all the furniture and using the crevice tool to clean by the baseboards. . .The job can be completed in a matter of a few hours, and I can stand back and say "Look at what I did!!!"

For me, this serves two purposes - it keeps me from the self-destructive thoughts or actions that were demanding my attention, and then pushes them away with a visible accomplishment. Will this work for you? I don't know. Maybe. I just know that it's one of the most effective things for me, so I'm passing it along.

Boiled down to its essence, it's figuring out what will keep you busy and make you feel good, and doing that when you're thinking about self-hate and/or self-harm. Keep in mind, too, that you don't want it to be something that will make someone else happy (necessarily) because it's not about getting praise from other people. It's about being able to praise yourself.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc4enhzdgk1qcmjsbo1_500.gif

midnightstar
11-16-13, 04:54 PM
I threw it away

I scared I just made everyone on addf angry

-hides-

Amtram
11-16-13, 04:56 PM
Looking around. . .nope, don't see any anger here.

sarek
11-16-13, 05:13 PM
I am happy, Star. Very happy.

Unmanagable
11-16-13, 05:13 PM
That took a lot of strength and courage, star. Reaching out for help and following through with the healthier option. I'm in awe of you, not mad at you.

((((Hugs))))

sarek
11-16-13, 05:35 PM
Awe is the word indeed. Midnightstar is awesome.

dvdnvwls
11-16-13, 07:00 PM
I threw it away

I scared I just made everyone on addf angry

-hides-
midnightstar, if you want to make me angry, you're going to have to come over here and hit me. Otherwise, I'm on your side all the way. K? :grouphug:

Rebelyell
11-16-13, 07:58 PM
:thankyou::grouphug::yes: you accomplished something that has been binding you, your on your way to now getting better.im proud of you n we are definately here for you midnight.id be angry if you would of said you didnt even get rid of. It yet.

purpleToes
11-17-13, 12:37 AM
Well done!

DelStan
11-17-13, 12:46 AM
:grouphug:Where there's a will there's a way. You can overcome it and be a stronger person.

Fuzzy12
11-17-13, 03:49 AM
Star well done! !!! i an so happy to hear that. In fact I think you've made a lot of people on addf very happy today. :grouphug:

namazu
11-17-13, 06:59 AM
I threw it away

I scared I just made everyone on addf angry

-hides-

Angry? No way!

Proud of you for doing this important but difficult task? Absolutely!

Well done. A great big hug for you. :grouphug:

midnightstar
11-17-13, 04:27 PM
Does it count as self harm if you shave your legs and the razor catches an injury because you are trying to get hair from right below the injury

Only enough for a few tiny drops of blood to come out by accidentally catching on the injury

Rebelyell
11-17-13, 04:30 PM
No star thats an accident.

BellaVita
11-17-13, 04:33 PM
Midnight :grouphug: You're doing great I'm proud of you. :)

namazu
11-18-13, 03:46 AM
Does it count as self harm if you shave your legs and the razor catches an injury because you are trying to get hair from right below the injury

Only enough for a few tiny drops of blood to come out by accidentally catching on the injury

If it's completely accidental, no.

If it's on purpose, then yes.

I would highly recommend getting an electric shaver so there won't be the temptation or risk of accidents that could be triggering.

Fuzzy12
11-18-13, 04:35 AM
Does it count as self harm if you shave your legs and the razor catches an injury because you are trying to get hair from right below the injury

Only enough for a few tiny drops of blood to come out by accidentally catching on the injury

Sounds like an accident to me Star. Don't worry. You took a big step. You are doing well!! :grouphug:

stef
11-18-13, 04:38 AM
We are all so proud of you ! :grouphug:

Amtram
11-18-13, 11:45 AM
It's an accident - now don't touch it!

If you're really worried, why don't you try waxing instead? It has the added bonus of making you feel pampered.

midnightstar
11-18-13, 12:58 PM
I cant wax every time I do it opens up injuries atm

I got the injury uncovered now it seems to be okay

Taking the sticky dressing off hurt like crap

Tesco sticky dressings stick round the wound and gently cover it

Hurts like crap to take off though

Lunacie
11-18-13, 12:59 PM
It's an accident - now don't touch it!

If you're really worried, why don't you try waxing instead? It has the added bonus of making you feel pampered.

Some things about menopause are annoying, some are interesting. I now
have to pluck the hairs from my chin - but I only have to shave my legs and
pits about 4 times a year. Didn't think about waxing my chin. ;)

midnightstar
11-18-13, 01:02 PM
I cant wax every time I do it opens up injuries atm

I got the injury uncovered now it seems to be okay

Taking the sticky dressing off hurt like crap

Tesco sticky dressings stick round the wound and gently cover it

Hurts like crap to take off though

Amtram
11-18-13, 01:49 PM
I actually use the perforated plastic tape that's supposed to hold gauze pads on. Works just the same, seems to make things heal a little faster, and no pulling when it comes off.

Lizzie80
12-25-13, 07:06 PM
Some things about menopause are annoying, some are interesting. I now
have to pluck the hairs from my chin - but I only have to shave my legs and
pits about 4 times a year. Didn't think about waxing my chin. ;)

Lunacie, reading this is my LOL moment for the afternoon- thank you! Soooooooooo freakin' true, too. According to my mom, visible nose hairs and werewolf-style eyebrows that grow in overnight are next to come in on the errant hair front. :eyebrow: