View Full Version : Humble


BellaVita
11-30-13, 06:27 PM
I am on a quest to become more humble.

It is one of my own personal most valued virtues.

Being off Adderall, I have found that I am less humble thanks to symptoms going wild.

I am struggling.

When I think of humble, the first person who comes to mind is sarek.

How do you do it?

Are there specific meditation exercises for it?

Thanks so much in advance to any and all who respond.

Daydreamin22
11-30-13, 06:28 PM
I think you’re humble vita. But, I believe you. All I know is Hypomania makes me the queen. I’m ok with that, lol.

BellaVita
11-30-13, 06:32 PM
I think you’re humble bv. But, I believe you. Hypomania makes me the queen.

Thanks, I appreciate you saying that.

But I am faaaaaaaar from where I want to be.

Yes indeed hypomania does that

Thankfully I am not at the moment

daveddd
11-30-13, 06:34 PM
i admire sarek greatly for that


and kick myself for constant failures

sarek
11-30-13, 06:51 PM
Me and humble. Now thats one i havent heard before. Its funny how i have this notion of myself as quite arrogant. Ironically, working on more humbleness is one of the things I am trying also.

Abi
11-30-13, 07:01 PM
Sarek is very proud of his humility. :lol:

BellaVita
11-30-13, 07:07 PM
Sarek is very proud of his humility. :lol:

In a humble way. :) ;)

dvdnvwls
11-30-13, 07:33 PM
Archery. Target practice, specifically.

Imagine that every shot hits too high. You might think "I need to lower my aim". At first, you might still shoot too high - "That's not doing it - I need to lower my aim some more". You do so. You get proficient at aiming lower and lower. Pretty soon - success! You hit the bottom edge of the outermost circle of the target! Congratulations!!!

Wait - what?

Don't try to be more humble. Forced humility will lead you astray. Try to be closer to the truth. Always make it your goal to hit "the bull's-eye of truth", not to aim low. False humility is no better than false pride - there is no good moral or social reason to encourage either type of error.

If you are so intelligent and so nuanced as to be able to hit the bottom edge of the bull's-eye every time, be my guest. :) But being close enough to the truth is the goal, not being lower or higher than others.

One of the great religious figures of history instructed us not to assume we are better than someone else - with that, I absolutely agree. He never said "don't assume you're worse than someone else" - but the story of his actions seems to show that he believed no one is worse than someone else. I think completely getting rid of the "I'm better than you/I'm worse than you" mess would be ideal.

Daydreamin22
11-30-13, 07:36 PM
Thanks, I appreciate you saying that.

But I am faaaaaaaar from where I want to be.

Yes indeed hypomania does that

Thankfully I am not at the moment

You go, girl!!

And you are so admirable. Now that I think about it, it’s something that everyone should practice it… but that it comes naturally to some.

Being humble is a good feeling. I think being humble makes everyone feel connected and comfortable which allows for positive and good things to come out of the conversation.

midnightstar
11-30-13, 07:52 PM
You are definitely humble lovely Bella <3:)

peripatetic
11-30-13, 07:52 PM
ohmypharma, sarek, you are defo not someone i would describe as arrogant!

i don't know if you're the most humble person on the forums...but you're prolly the most humble amongst my active friends on here :p


bella...with the whole...being humble thing... i don't know that there's anyone i would immediately associate with humbleness...i think that word has a lot of connotations that i don't find very flattering, to say the least...but i think i can appreciate what you're trying to find an example if i consider those who are boastful, smug, pretentious, conceited or superficial. and then think, who would be the antipode? and i think in terms of sound character.

danelady

she is so awesome. i admire her for how grounded she is, how respectful and honest and kind, but still strong--she's no shrinking violet and she's fought her share of battles but she's no victim. she's clear, direct and honest (i don't think i've ever seen her be passive aggressive or snide) without being cold or apathetic. on the contrary, she's not overly demonstrative, but you know she cares deeply and sincerely. i find her perspective on life...just makes me grateful for her friendship. i wish she were still active here to tell you how to be like her, because i can't. but i can tell you this: she's doesn't do ********. and that's maybe the start of being grounded...humble... strip away all of the stuff that isn't genuine...anything that's superficial, petty or childish. be trustworthy and compassionate and take joy in what you have whilst working toward a future that's meaningful to you.

BellaVita
11-30-13, 07:56 PM
Archery. Target practice, specifically.

Imagine that every shot hits too high. You might think "I need to lower my aim". At first, you might still shoot too high - "That's not doing it - I need to lower my aim some more". You do so. You get proficient at aiming lower and lower. Pretty soon - success! You hit the bottom edge of the outermost circle of the target! Congratulations!!!

Wait - what?

Don't try to be more humble. Forced humility will lead you astray. Try to be closer to the truth. Always make it your goal to hit "the bull's-eye of truth", not to aim low. False humility is no better than false pride - there is no good moral or social reason to encourage either type of error.

If you are so intelligent and so nuanced as to be able to hit the bottom edge of the bull's-eye every time, be my guest. :) But being close enough to the truth is the goal, not being lower or higher than others.

One of the great religious figures of history instructed us not to assume we are better than someone else - with that, I absolutely agree. He never said "don't assume you're worse than someone else" - but the story of his actions seems to show that he believed no one is worse than someone else. I think completely getting rid of the "I'm better than you/I'm worse than you" mess would be ideal.

I agree with you.

I am not specifically trying to be humble in a fake way, but I think you know that and I don't think that you meant I am trying to do so.

Thanks for the analogy, definitely something to keep in mind.

Yes, if I know what you are referring to, you hit the nail on the head.

No one human is better than the next.

I guess, I want to make others feel at peace when I am with them. I don't want to cause unsettlement, be too harsh, appear cocky etc....

I want them to feel at ease.

But I think even having the humble mindset would put me at ease.

Another thing: Being competitive messes up my ability to be humble. I need to be less competitive, because for me it automatically puts me in a mind setting that I 'need to be better than them' in a way that suits my ego - which is unhealthy for me.

I know some of these things are not all directly related to being humble, but just more things that I need to work on....

BellaVita
11-30-13, 08:01 PM
You go, girl!!

And you are so admirable. Now that I think about it, it’s something that everyone should practice it… but that it comes naturally to some.

Being humble is a good feeling. I think being humble makes everyone feel connected and comfortable which allows for positive and good things to come out of the conversation.

Thanks dear. :)

The bolded portion I highly agree with.

dvdnvwls
11-30-13, 08:03 PM
Excellent points, peri.

In your description of danelady, you mentioned honesty and sincerity and genuineness and non-superficiality (all of them kind of the same thing, yes?) six times. Bingo. :)

Being humble does not (and cannot) come from trying to be humble. "Humble" is what other people call you when you have as much self-knowledge as you can, and you are as honest as you can be. Honest people look humble, but only because some dishonest people look over-proud by comparison. Many other dishonest people look over-humble, but we don't call them "humble", we call them other less-flattering things.

Daydreamin22
11-30-13, 08:06 PM
Queen Elizabeth is humble… isn’t she?

dvdnvwls
11-30-13, 08:08 PM
Saying "I'm more competitive than you are" is a joke.

Saying "I'm less competitive than you are" is only a more-subtle version of the exact same joke. See the trap? Don't get caught in it. :)

dvdnvwls
11-30-13, 08:12 PM
Queen Elizabeth is humble… isn’t she?
I think so... I don't know.

BellaVita
11-30-13, 08:22 PM
ohmypharma, sarek, you are defo not someone i would describe as arrogant!

i don't know if you're the most humble person on the forums...but you're prolly the most humble amongst my active friends on here :p


bella...with the whole...being humble thing... i don't know that there's anyone i would immediately associate with humbleness...i think that word has a lot of connotations that i don't find very flattering, to say the least...but i think i can appreciate what you're trying to find an example if i consider those who are boastful, smug, pretentious, conceited or superficial. and then think, who would be the antipode? and i think in terms of sound character.

danelady

she is so awesome. i admire her for how grounded she is, how respectful and honest and kind, but still strong--she's no shrinking violet and she's fought her share of battles but she's no victim. she's clear, direct and honest (i don't think i've ever seen her be passive aggressive or snide) without being cold or apathetic. on the contrary, she's not overly demonstrative, but you know she cares deeply and sincerely. i find her perspective on life...just makes me grateful for her friendship. i wish she were still active here to tell you how to be like her, because i can't. but i can tell you this: she's doesn't do ********. and that's maybe the start of being grounded...humble... strip away all of the stuff that isn't genuine...anything that's superficial, petty or childish. be trustworthy and compassionate and take joy in what you have whilst working toward a future that's meaningful to you.

Wonderful, peri!

:)

I wish I could save your whole post on a note or something...actually I think I'll do just that.

As dvd noted, you listed key words that are very essential to being humble. Characteristics/ways of being that I should strive for.

I so wish danelady were here to teach me. She sounds so lovely.

The bolded portion I thought was on par, and very helpful placed things in perspective.

I need to evaluate myself and the impurities I need to shake away.

Authenticity and genuineness, also trustworthiness are very important to me, as are reaching maturity especially on a spiritual level and temperamentally.

BellaVita
11-30-13, 08:25 PM
Saying "I'm more competitive than you are" is a joke.

Saying "I'm less competitive than you are" is only a more-subtle version of the exact same joke. See the trap? Don't get caught in it. :)

I mean, not that exactly....

Like, comparing myself with others and wanting to be better at everything.

Does that make sense?

Sometimes I'm bad at wording things. :o

peripatetic
11-30-13, 08:25 PM
eh...they're all largely synonymous...but..it's like being that in six different facets.

so, yes, general honesty, but it's like what makes someone a person i consider "honest"? it's more than being someone who doesn't gratuitously lie or doesn't lie to cover their ***

honesty in self expression: speech, emotional response
honesty in the sense of being who you are to yourself and what to others
honesty in dealing with others... neither duplicitous, a gossip or a hypocrite

so...yeah...six ways of saying honest...but six different aspects of being an honest person...though when i posted i was just typing but in thinking on it ...that's what i's trying to express in that rambling bit...and hopefully more clearly above x

BellaVita
11-30-13, 08:27 PM
There is one thing that I believe, and this is for religious reasons:
That I must esteem others better than myself.

Perhaps that belief is confusing some here about what I mean by being humble, etc.

peripatetic
11-30-13, 08:39 PM
ironically... i can't imagine her being like...ok..here's how to be humble or honest (or anything else) like me. :P

she's just great to talk to and she's a good egg...she's lived ...and she lives on. i don't think she's ever given me a single "piece of advice"... it's not anything she's told me, really, when i think about it...it's when i see how she approaches things...and just...like she's never said "hey peri, i avoid backstabbing"...but she doesn't talk gossip about people. and she's never said, "i present myself as genuinely as possible"...she just IS and you know it when you encounter it.

you know that thread of mine you referenced in the thankful thread you made? her post in that thread is one of my favorites. x

BellaVita
11-30-13, 08:48 PM
ironically... i can't imagine her being like...ok..here's how to be humble or honest (or anything else) like me. :P

she's just great to talk to and she's a good egg...she's lived ...and she lives on. i don't think she's ever given me a single "piece of advice"... it's not anything she's told me, really, when i think about it...it's when i see how she approaches things...and just...like she's never said "hey peri, i avoid backstabbing"...but she doesn't talk gossip about people. and she's never said, "i present myself as genuinely as possible"...she just IS and you know it when you encounter it.

you know that thread of mine you referenced in the thankful thread you made? her post in that thread is one of my favorites. x

Awww. Would so love to be around someone like her! Or her herself!

That's a great way to teach(even/especially when not trying to), by not being pushy but just simply by being and by being an example for others.

Cool, I'll have to revisit. :)

dvdnvwls
11-30-13, 09:30 PM
There is one thing that I believe, and this is for religious reasons:
That I must esteem others better than myself.

Perhaps that belief is confusing some here about what I mean by being humble, etc.
Yes. It's something I would argue with in some ways - it's a tricky topic.

When a religious belief is handed to us in words in this way, it is very tricky for us to know what it really means. We must interpret it. "Taking it without interpretation" is 100% impossible.

There are ways of understanding the words of that belief that are incompatible with truth and justice and joy, and other ways of understanding the same words that promote truth and justice and joy.

Essentially, there's a positive and a negative approach. Resolving to really see the good in others, resolving to search out the bad in yourself, and (if compatible with your beliefs) seeing the divine in all of us - resolving to really see - is healthy. Resolving to not see the good in yourself, or resolving to ignore the faults of others, will always be unhealthy and dangerous and unacceptable for any religion.

mctavish23
11-30-13, 09:36 PM
wtf Bella, :confused:

I like you either way. However, I'd vote for the swag every time. :rolleyes:


u r welcome :cool:

Rebelyell
11-30-13, 10:02 PM
Idk bella I think your more humble n compassionate then most people.

Greyhound1
11-30-13, 10:23 PM
There is one thing that I believe, and this is for religious reasons:
That I must esteem others better than myself.

Perhaps that belief is confusing some here about what I mean by being humble, etc.

Hey Bella, I am confused. Why must you esteem others more than yourself for religious reasons? I think you sacrifice your own self esteem if you always esteem others better than yourself.

Don't sell yourself short. Your self esteem is probably more important for you to be a good person than valuing others esteem as more valuable than your own.

BellaVita
11-30-13, 10:29 PM
Yes. It's something I would argue with in some ways - it's a tricky topic.

When a religious belief is handed to us in words in this way, it is very tricky for us to know what it really means. We must interpret it. "Taking it without interpretation" is 100% impossible.

There are ways of understanding the words of that belief that are incompatible with truth and justice and joy, and other ways of understanding the same words that promote truth and justice and joy.

Essentially, there's a positive and a negative approach. Resolving to really see the good in others, resolving to search out the bad in yourself, and (if compatible with your beliefs) seeing the divine in all of us - resolving to really see - is healthy. Resolving to not see the good in yourself, or resolving to ignore the faults of others, will always be unhealthy and dangerous and unacceptable for any religion.

Of course we have to interpret it. But, I'm not going to go into how I have done so, I have followed a "guideline" of sort for interpreting it, so that I do interpret it as correctly as possible, but I'm not going to get into it.

It means what I wrote(the religious quote) in a very literal sense. (Hope that makes sense?)

I agree with your words. Especially the last paragraph.

Thank you for your contributions to this thread.

BellaVita
11-30-13, 10:33 PM
Hey Bella, I am confused. Why must you esteem others more than yourself for religious reasons? I think you sacrifice your own self esteem if you always esteem others better than yourself.

Don't sell yourself short. Your self esteem is probably more important for you to be a good person than valuing others esteem as more valuable than your own.

Because it was instructed that I do so.

No, I don't sacrifice my own self esteem. It remains in tact.

It's hard to explain.

I appreciate your concern, though. :)

Rebelyell
12-01-13, 12:29 AM
By peris definitions of honest I fit the whole thing to a T.Im brutally honest and most if not all of my friends family or co workers will tell you that if you asked them.

stef
12-01-13, 04:33 AM
Because it was instructed that I do so.

No, I don't sacrifice my own self esteem.

ok good, i was going to ask the same thing.

I'm personally finished, with humble. in the past, I used the spiritual idea of humble against myself, convinced i was worthless.

dvdnvwls
12-01-13, 04:51 AM
It means what I wrote(the religious quote) in a very literal sense. (Hope that makes sense?)

No, that doesn't make sense. There are several very literal and very different senses of it. Stef just now pointed out one of the obvious ones.

someothertime
12-01-13, 05:16 AM
in the past, I used the spiritual idea of humble against myself, convinced i was worthless.

Ditto Stef. Self inhibiting cause your tryin to promote the collective. Major repression.

Aware and considerate are much better words than humble. "Disorders" wreak havok on us being aware... particularly when it comes to interaction... Bella you are far from "non-humble"

stef
12-01-13, 05:18 AM
No, that doesn't make sense. There are several very literal and very different senses of it. Stef just now pointed out one of the obvious ones.

its a beautiful concept but my personal past interpretation was destructive. the word humble itself, just makes me feel awful now.

dvdnvwls
12-01-13, 05:42 AM
Bella:

The key issue here is the other people in your church. Do your church leaders, and those who are above you in any kind of hierarchy (including your own family, and including anybody who's important in any way) really esteem you higher than they esteem themselves, in the precise exact same way they're asking of you?

The humility thing is beautiful when everybody does it for each other, beginning with your leaders and your elders consistently esteeming you higher than themselves. When some people (especially leaders and elders) don't "walk the walk" of humility, or even when the humility of those leaders is a little different kind of humility than what's expected of you, then it's plain old abuse of power.

davinci10
12-01-13, 09:18 AM
Excellent points, peri.

In your description of danelady, you mentioned honesty and sincerity and genuineness and non-superficiality (all of them kind of the same thing, yes?) six times. Bingo. :)

Being humble does not (and cannot) come from trying to be humble. "Humble" is what other people call you when you have as much self-knowledge as you can, and you are as honest as you can be. Honest people look humble, but only because some dishonest people look over-proud by comparison. Many other dishonest people look over-humble, but we don't call them "humble", we call them other less-flattering things.

this really rings true for me. I cannot imagine myself being humble but at the same time dishonest, for humbleness comes from detaching from ego and attaching to your heart. when we're dishonest we use our ego to cleverly lie to others or force ourselves to believe something is true/right.

ginniebean
12-01-13, 01:10 PM
Archery. Target practice, specifically.

Imagine that every shot hits too high. You might think "I need to lower my aim". At first, you might still shoot too high - "That's not doing it - I need to lower my aim some more". You do so. You get proficient at aiming lower and lower. Pretty soon - success! You hit the bottom edge of the outermost circle of the target! Congratulations!!!

Wait - what?

Don't try to be more humble. Forced humility will lead you astray. Try to be closer to the truth. Always make it your goal to hit "the bull's-eye of truth", not to aim low. False humility is no better than false pride - there is no good moral or social reason to encourage either type of error.

If you are so intelligent and so nuanced as to be able to hit the bottom edge of the bull's-eye every time, be my guest. :) But being close enough to the truth is the goal, not being lower or higher than others.

One of the great religious figures of history instructed us not to assume we are better than someone else - with that, I absolutely agree. He never said "don't assume you're worse than someone else" - but the story of his actions seems to show that he believed no one is worse than someone else. I think completely getting rid of the "I'm better than you/I'm worse than you" mess would be ideal.


That's, my friend was a bullseye.

BellaVita
12-01-13, 02:08 PM
Bella:

The key issue here is the other people in your church. Do your church leaders, and those who are above you in any kind of hierarchy (including your own family, and including anybody who's important in any way) really esteem you higher than they esteem themselves, in the precise exact same way they're asking of you?

The humility thing is beautiful when everybody does it for each other, beginning with your leaders and your elders consistently esteeming you higher than themselves. When some people (especially leaders and elders) don't "walk the walk" of humility, or even when the humility of those leaders is a little different kind of humility than what's expected of you, then it's plain old abuse of power.

Yes.

Now, not every person is like this of course, there are some abusive power things going on, but there are a good few who do this, who live it, who practice it. And not in a way to make themselves appear like they're "perfect" , that wouldn't make them humble....but in a genuine way.

My brain is foggy right now so I will probably have to explain better later

mctavish23
12-05-13, 10:24 PM
Let Me "Reframe" This If You Will :D About Self-Esteem :rolleyes:

To Quote That Great "Sage" (and personal idol)... Pauley "The Weasel" Shore

"Buff The Weez and Weez the Nuggs" :yes:


u r welcome :cool:

Rebelyell
12-05-13, 11:35 PM
Yeah its the weezy weez, da weez I tell ya, weezing out on the deal.:p

Rebelyell
12-06-13, 12:06 AM
Like totally stone NAY dude! its englebert humperdink,hes a humping and a dinking:D

anonymouslyadd
12-06-13, 12:54 AM
Humility is a great virtue, something that will draw people to you. Learn to express yourself without bragging. Know that you're not better than people.

Rebelyell
12-06-13, 07:02 AM
humble is as humble does