View Full Version : How to Love Thyself


BellaVita
12-17-13, 04:23 AM
What does this look like, in every day life?

How can one truly know if they are "loving thyself"?

I know it's important.

What are your takes on it?

sarek
12-17-13, 04:35 AM
It begins with a deep realisation that, as we are, all of us are flawed. Much of what we do is an automatic response to internal or external stimuli. We are programmed by our culture, our upbringing, our education, the things we have experienced in life, and not least of all our genetic makeup.

The process of self love begins with forgiveness and acceptance of ourselves as we are. It begins with the realisation that we often just don't have much of a choice. It begins with the realisation that almost always people are not evil(whatever that means) but merely weak.

From that forgiveness, both of ourselves and of others, self love can grow.

BellaVita
12-17-13, 04:37 AM
Beautiful sarek. :goodpost:

Thank you. Thinking and absorbing.

Fuzzy12
12-17-13, 04:45 AM
What Sarek said ^^. :)

I used to love myself. I was always very much aware of my flaws and short comings but I thought that in spite of them, I was pretty cool and very lovable. I could feel this affection for myself, the way I now feel affection for animals or the world in general.

Maybe a practical way to go about loving yourself is to be good to yourself. You know, try to talk yourself kindly, do things for yourself (whatever helps you or makes you happy) without feeling guilty about it, be accepting of things that others do for you and don't be too harsh on yourself even when you think you have messed up.

sarek
12-17-13, 04:51 AM
Its important to realise that love and hate are two sides of one coin. They are like opposing ends of a pendulum. So if you simply go and force yourself to love yourself, it will not work and may end up in the opposite. You can not fake this and its harmful to try.

To be able to truly love yourself you need a firm ground in self acceptance and self forgiveness first.

Its an example of using third force. Love/hate is duality thinking and it can not be resolved. Forgiveness is the third force that can solve the stalemate.

Fuzzy12
12-17-13, 04:58 AM
Slightly off-topic but I want to say it anyway:

Bella, you are one of the most lovable people I know and not just on ADDF. You just seem to ooze goodness and kindness somehow and I'm sure I'm not the only one whose life you've made a little bit brighter and better. This might not change how you view yourself, but I hope you know that you deserve everything good and all the love that this world has got to offer.

stef
12-17-13, 05:08 AM
I thought of "first, just stop being unkind to yourself"
but you all have written much better replies already! :)

Fuzzy12
12-17-13, 05:12 AM
I thought of "first, just stop being unkind to yourself"
but you all have written much better replies already! :)

I actually like that a lot. It sums it up very well and it has the advantage of being short and snappy, you know, like a motto you can tell yourself when you catch yourself being unkind.