View Full Version : Self loathing


Fuzzy12
12-23-13, 07:24 PM
Another pity party post.

I'm just not getting the hang of this whole life thing. Or any parts of it. Maybe it would be c easier if it didnt involve other people. I don't know. I'm all tired and sleeping is the best I caould do so right now but I don't want to sleep. I don't want to wake up tomorrow. Etc.. the usual crap

BellaVita
12-23-13, 07:30 PM
I feel ya

:grouphug:

But living in the moment helps screw planning screw structure screw life goals

= FREEDOM

dvdnvwls
12-23-13, 07:31 PM
Fuzzy...

Your self-loathing post seems to point in a direction other than self.

I mean, I get the feeling that if you heard you were going to wake up alone tomorrow (while magically not hurting anyone else in the process) you'd feel much different about not wanting to wake up.

Any comments?

:grouphug:

BellaVita
12-23-13, 07:32 PM
Be rebellious Fuzzy :yes:

Fuzzy12
12-23-13, 07:33 PM
Maybe but probably not. I'm not very good at being alone either and living without hurting anyone else is just utopia. At least in my world.

Fuzzy12
12-23-13, 07:34 PM
Be rebellious Fuzzy :yes:

To whom? There's no one oppressing me.

BellaVita
12-23-13, 07:36 PM
To whom? There's no one oppressing me.

Does it have to be a person?

Maybe even to yourself?

Or just objects that sit in space?

Fuzzy, I'm probably not making sense. Sorry.

dvdnvwls
12-23-13, 07:40 PM
Maybe but probably not. I'm not very good at being alone either and living without hurting anyone else is just utopia. At least in my world.
:grouphug:

I'm confused.

I feel as if (in real life, not in this conversation) you want something but won't ask for it.

Fuzzy12
12-23-13, 07:46 PM
:grouphug:

I'm confused.

I feel as if (in real life, not in this conversation) you want something but won't ask for it.

I would if I knew what it was

Or probably I wouldn't. I'm but very good at asking for anything.

I don't know. I don't want to Think. Not that i every actually think. I don't want to feel anymore anymore.

Fuzzy12
12-23-13, 07:51 PM
Or type. I guess I suck at that as well:lol:

Fuzzy12
12-23-13, 07:53 PM
:doh:

I did add a warning that this is just another pity party For one.

dvdnvwls
12-23-13, 08:02 PM
To whom? There's no one oppressing me.
Is there anything very flat and very shiny in your place? In the bathroom perhaps? Go and take a look at it, if there is.

Fuzzy12
12-23-13, 08:12 PM
Is there anything very flat and very shiny in your place? In the bathroom perhaps? Go and take a look at it, if there is.

So isn't it natural to loathe your oppressor?

BellaVita
12-23-13, 08:14 PM
So isn't it natural to loathe your oppressor?

I'd say so

Fuzzy12
12-23-13, 08:30 PM
Anyway, I really am sorry.

dvdnvwls
12-23-13, 09:08 PM
You don't have anything to be sorry to us for. However, it would probably be best to make a sincere apology to the person you've been cruel to, and invite her for dinner. Perhaps give her a small gift as a token of your good will and friendly intentions. I'd suggest signing her up for a massage or something. :)

dvdnvwls
12-23-13, 09:10 PM
So isn't it natural to loathe your oppressor?
Sure it is.

But that's just a surface question. The better question is how to stop the oppression from happening, which (when you accomplish that) also cancels out the loathing.

dvdnvwls
12-23-13, 09:19 PM
Methods of overcoming political oppression are probably very similar to methods of overcoming self-oppression.

Including the problem that the oppressed can get wrapped up in political wrangling among themselves, thus blocking real progress.

And including the fact that dignity, autonomy, and self-determination are worthy goals, but harming the oppressor (while revenge may be tempting) is both a distraction and an evil method.

Conman
12-28-13, 02:52 AM
is there a cure for self-loathing really? the only ways i see are by actually doing something about them, well the ones that can be worked on anyway (which vary person to person).

but what about the things that are very difficult/touchy to work on or just downright ingrained into your mental state? like anxieties, paranoia, depression triggers even when it seems everything's right in the world and there's nothing you can be depressed about at the moment (for all intents and purposes anyway)?

id rather not just resort to medication as my first treatment, cuz then that further perpetuates the idea that any mental problem should just be treated with pills. that's not always the case. but i try. i really do, and sometimes it's too overwhelming for any cognitive therapy methods or support from people who love me to help, i just lose it and break down either by catatonia or by just going about the day while feeling...dead basically. i can do my work with mostly same efficiency and get same grades, do things like i do normally etc. but i just am not there. a trigger sets me off into the spiral where self-loathing takes me down cuz i cant help but see everything wrong with me in my life, what ive done, who i am or may be, what might not turn out in my favor/hopes, seeing how ******* different i am from a 'normal' person etc...

sorry i went on a rant there

Fuzzy12
12-28-13, 03:24 AM
is there a cure for self-loathing really? the only ways i see are by actually doing something about them, well the ones that can be worked on anyway (which vary person to person).

but what about the things that are very difficult/touchy to work on or just downright ingrained into your mental state? like anxieties, paranoia, depression triggers even when it seems everything's right in the world and there's nothing you can be depressed about at the moment (for all intents and purposes anyway)?

id rather not just resort to medication as my first treatment, cuz then that further perpetuates the idea that any mental problem should just be treated with pills. that's not always the case. but i try. i really do, and sometimes it's too overwhelming for any cognitive therapy methods or support from people who love me to help, i just lose it and break down either by catatonia or by just going about the day while feeling...dead basically. i can do my work with mostly same efficiency and get same grades, do things like i do normally etc. but i just am not there. a trigger sets me off into the spiral where self-loathing takes me down cuz i cant help but see everything wrong with me in my life, what ive done, who i am or may be, what might not turn out in my favor/hopes, seeing how ******* different i am from a 'normal' person etc...

sorry i went on a rant there

Meds only r help partially. The real help comes from alcohol ;)

Conman
12-28-13, 11:40 AM
i dont care for alcohol as much, i enjoy it but not nearly to the extent everybody else does. my real help comes from another substance, one that should be legal by now if the country wasnt shortsided by idiots but that's another discussion altogether.