View Full Version : Lighter Topic - Opinions Encouraged - Not ADD Related..ish


Mittens
01-04-14, 02:23 AM
Well. Ish. Curious for others opinions on the subject.
So as i've come to spend a lot of time on here as of late, and come to value and respect those, feel free to chime in.

This may bounce around a bit, bare with me. Also i'm in a bit of a bizarre mood, so apologies / pardon me if it comes across as random and off the wall.

So bf has 2 sons, 15 and 7 from his previous marriage.
He really, really wants to have another child.
Truthfully, I do as well, but I have 'conditions' (financial continuity mostly being the basis for almost all of them, as well as the multiple fears that come with the situation - feeling like a single parent, etc etc).

He's 42 (43 in September) and not only in incredible shape from years of high level martial arts, but also incredible genetics of looking more like 30-32 as well as being high energy in general.

He's an awesome Dad when he is a Dad.. if that makes sense?

Anywhoo. So the lighter question - what's the opinion on slightly non-traditional female names? Ie. Ryan, Theo, Piper, Isabella, Belle or Rae?

On the heavier side - what conditions are reasonable vs un-reasonable when speaking of expanding a family?

40's gents - could you see yourself with a small human crawling / running / spewing around?

Just to be clear - there is no chance of it happening unplanned (and a big shout out to medical science for the advancements of IUD's! Thanks, Medicine - you rock my world :D ).

Happy Friday!

-Mittens

dvdnvwls
01-04-14, 02:37 AM
Topic bouncing around? Bizarre mood? All you're doing is starting to fit in! We love you more and more, Mittens! :)

I don't have a useful opinion about whether, because I haven't had the experience.

I do have a strong opinion about names, and that is, whatever you decide to name your child, if they might for any reason have to spell it out to people, then it's the wrong name. No unique spellings, no confusing trick names, etc. It's inconvenient and embarrassing for them to have to carry around for the rest of their life.

And a couple of milder opinions: I would probably avoid stereotypically-boy-sounding names (such as Ryan) for girls, and avoid giving short forms (such as Theo) as full names. If the name is Theodora but everybody calls her Theo, fine. But "No, it's just Theo" sounds silly to me.

Isabella is extremely old and very traditional. But good if you want it.

Nicksgonefishin
01-04-14, 02:45 AM
What about being 60 and having a teenager?

Taylor is also an option that falls into that category.

Most likely in ten years he will be a grandfather.

personally IMO if it doesn't make sense financially to bring a child into this world I'm against it.

Mittens
01-04-14, 04:37 AM
What about being 60 and having a teenager?

Taylor is also an option that falls into that category.

Most likely in ten years he will be a grandfather.

personally IMO if it doesn't make sense financially to bring a child into this world I'm against it.

I would of loved Taylor... if Taylor Swift didn't irritate the crap out of me! :P

As for finances - i'm of the same opinion. My bf keeps saying 'if everyone waited for the right time no one would ever have kids', but I truly and whole heartedly believe that is a lot 'better' times than others.

I'm not opposed to the idea by any means, but my salary is carrying all the bills and mortgage and etc etc, so the idea of going on maternity as well as all the massive other financial's that come with reproducing scare the hell out of me.

I don't expect him to be a millionaire to have a child, but I do need him to be able to bring in a consistent income, and either allow me to budget for him or budget himself. Also, it would be greatly beneficial to all involved if him and I got to a more plateaued place as well. We're both still learning about ADD and learning to be a good 'we'.

And now I can't get the infamous line out of my head...
"But Miss Scarlett! I don't know nothin' bout birthin' no babies!" ;)

Mittens
01-04-14, 04:47 AM
Topic bouncing around? Bizarre mood? All you're doing is starting to fit in! We love you more and more, Mittens! :)

I don't have a useful opinion about whether, because I haven't had the experience.

I do have a strong opinion about names, and that is, whatever you decide to name your child, if they might for any reason have to spell it out to people, then it's the wrong name. No unique spellings, no confusing trick names, etc. It's inconvenient and embarrassing for them to have to carry around for the rest of their life.

And a couple of milder opinions: I would probably avoid stereotypically-boy-sounding names (such as Ryan) for girls, and avoid giving short forms (such as Theo) as full names. If the name is Theodora but everybody calls her Theo, fine. But "No, it's just Theo" sounds silly to me.

Isabella is extremely old and very traditional. But good if you want it.

Theo comes from an adoration of growing up as a Theron Fleury enthusiast, and one of my employee's is named Theolyn, which for some reason just to me is such a *strong* female name.

Apparently he is partial to Piper. His last name begin s with Z so I believe he just wants a kid with initials of PEZ personally :P

I totally disagree with Apple or North or strange spellings of quasi-normal names (Lyndzey or anything with silent letters). I'm in 2 places, masculine-ish names which to me equate to 'strong' names, or old fashioned. I like Anabelle or Brianne as well.

Random aside about Theolyn - she is from the Philippines and all of her siblings are theo-.. Theorora, Theodora, Theoron, And I think 2 more I can never remember. Could you just imagine - one of them would catch hell but no one who would know specifically which one :P
Okay.. maybe I just have a demented sense of humor, but still :)

dvdnvwls
01-04-14, 05:58 AM
Theo comes from an adoration of growing up as a Theron Fleury enthusiast, and one of my employee's is named Theolyn, which for some reason just to me is such a *strong* female name.

θεός (Theos) means God in Greek. That's pretty strong I guess. :)

Fuzzy12
01-04-14, 06:27 AM
Topic bouncing around? Bizarre mood? All you're doing is starting to fit in! We love you more and more, Mittens! :)

I don't have a useful opinion about whether, because I haven't had the experience.

I do have a strong opinion about names, and that is, whatever you decide to name your child, if they might for any reason have to spell it out to people, then it's the wrong name. No unique spellings, no confusing trick names, etc. It's inconvenient and embarrassing for them to have to carry around for the rest of their life.

And a couple of milder opinions: I would probably avoid stereotypically-boy-sounding names (such as Ryan) for girls, and avoid giving short forms (such as Theo) as full names. If the name is Theodora but everybody calls her Theo, fine. But "No, it's just Theo" sounds silly to me.

Isabella is extremely old and very traditional. But good if you want it.

I always have to spell my name. Alll 15 letters of it. It's not so bad. I got used to it now and as a bonus i know the phonetic alphabet perfectly. :D

BellaVita
01-04-14, 06:30 AM
Topic bouncing around? Bizarre mood? All you're doing is starting to fit in! We love you more and more, Mittens! :)

I don't have a useful opinion about whether, because I haven't had the experience.

I do have a strong opinion about names, and that is, whatever you decide to name your child, if they might for any reason have to spell it out to people, then it's the wrong name. No unique spellings, no confusing trick names, etc. It's inconvenient and embarrassing for them to have to carry around for the rest of their life.

And a couple of milder opinions: I would probably avoid stereotypically-boy-sounding names (such as Ryan) for girls, and avoid giving short forms (such as Theo) as full names. If the name is Theodora but everybody calls her Theo, fine. But "No, it's just Theo" sounds silly to me.

Isabella is extremely old and very traditional. But good if you want it.

And I was gonna say, I like the name "Theo" the best!

It reminds me of one of the names I'm gonna name my future kid: Thaddeus.

dvdnvwls
01-04-14, 06:43 AM
I always have to spell my name. Alll 15 letters of it. It's not so bad. I got used to it now and as a bonus i know the phonetic alphabet perfectly. :D
Part of an imaginary telephone call, in Polish, from England to Poland (I've translated it) :) :

"What's your name, please?"

"Sharon Strzemiński"

"Would you spell that, please?"

"S, Z, ..."

[interrupts her] "No, I know how to spell Strzemiński, but please spell 'Sharon'."

:)

dvdnvwls
01-04-14, 06:45 AM
It reminds me of one of the names I'm gonna name my future kid: Thaddeus.
Sorry about that, Chief. :)

(Thaddeus was the Chief's name on the Get Smart TV series.) :)

Mittens
01-04-14, 12:21 PM
Sorry about that, Chief. :)

(Thaddeus was the Chief's name on the Get Smart TV series.) :)

I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

Lunacie
01-04-14, 12:41 PM
I would of loved Taylor... if Taylor Swift didn't irritate the crap out of me! :P

As for finances - i'm of the same opinion. My bf keeps saying 'if everyone waited for the right time no one would ever have kids', but I truly and whole heartedly believe that is a lot 'better' times than others.

I'm not opposed to the idea by any means, but my salary is carrying all the bills and mortgage and etc etc, so the idea of going on maternity as well as all the massive other financial's that come with reproducing scare the hell out of me.

I don't expect him to be a millionaire to have a child, but I do need him to be able to bring in a consistent income, and either allow me to budget for him or budget himself. Also, it would be greatly beneficial to all involved if him and I got to a more plateaued place as well. We're both still learning about ADD and learning to be a good 'we'.

And now I can't get the infamous line out of my head...
"But Miss Scarlett! I don't know nothin' bout birthin' no babies!" ;)

One of my nieces named her daughters Taylor and Sydney - both traditionally
male names. Another niece named her daughters Linzie and Sakari (traditional
NA name).

My granddaughters are named Katlin and Nove Mber. Kat is always having to
spell her name or correct people who call her Kaitlen, and generally uses the
nicknames Kat or Kitty. Nove's pre-k teacher decided her name was French,
pronounced Novay, thankfully that didn't stick with her in following grades.
It's Nov-eh, her mom calls her Nov-ee.

Their mom divorced their dad because she couldn't count on him financially,
he lied about money. She decided she'd rather count on herself than worry
about whether he could pay the bills. Since the divorce I can't count the times
his phone has been turned off because of late payments, complaints from him
about landlords who don't appreciate the rent being late - and all the while
he's taking the girls to movies and eating out. Very irresponsible.

dvdnvwls
01-04-14, 02:18 PM
One of my nieces named her daughters Taylor and Sydney - both traditionally
male names. Another niece named her daughters Linzie and Sakari (traditional
NA name).

My granddaughters are named Katlin and Nove Mber. Kat is always having to
spell her name or correct people who call her Kaitlen, and generally uses the
nicknames Kat or Kitty. Nove's pre-k teacher decided her name was French,
pronounced Novay, thankfully that didn't stick with her in following grades.
It's Nov-eh, her mom calls her Nov-ee.

Taylor and Sydney have been "either/or names" for years now, and the NZ names are clearly NZ names so that's fine... but the granddaughters are IMO not so lucky in the name department - :) Mber looks vaguely African. :) Nove Mber means "New Mber" and I would pronounce it "Novay mmmmmmmmBear" until I realized her name was actually something else; Katlin ... well... this one probably gets a Funny Spelling Exemption because that name has so many spellings in so many languages - Caitlin, Katlin, Kaitlin, Katalin, Catalina, Kathleen, and so on, are all exactly the same name just spelled a bit differently for different languages or different regional customs.

(In fact Kathleen, which to some of us might look the most "normal" of all, is simply a transcription from Gaelic of Caitlín, which is not pronounced Katelynn, but [more or less] Kathleen.) So sometimes you'll see Caitlín and need to pronounce Kathleen. And other times (if her parents weren't paying attention) then it IS pronounced Katelynn. Maybe a name to avoid in English-speaking countries? If you're in Hungary, everyone knows how to pronounce Katalin. :)

As long as nobody calls Siobhán "Sy obb han" then I guess the world won't quite explode yet. :)

Fuzzy12
01-04-14, 02:20 PM
Part of an imaginary telephone call, in Polish, from England to Poland (I've translated it) :) :

"What's your name, please?"

"Sharon Strzemiński"

"Would you spell that, please?"

"S, Z, ..."

[interrupts her] "No, I know how to spell Strzemiński, but please spell 'Sharon'."

:)

:lol:

I sometimes have the same experience with call centres since my first name isn't spelt in the traditional way Inspite of being super easy. At least compared to my surname.:D

By the way your sharon misspelt her name ;)

RedHairedWitch
01-04-14, 02:39 PM
I have the most common name for women in my generation in North America. I've always been jealous of others with cool names, they don't have to deal with having two other people in their class or workplace with the same name. I now go by the nickname I choose in high school.

mctavish23
01-04-14, 02:47 PM
Well, My Opinion (On Virtually Everything) Is Always "GO FOR IT." :D


u r welcome :cool:


PS

One of the coolest names I've ever heard for a girl was ... "India."

Just Sayin :rolleyes:

Lunacie
01-04-14, 02:59 PM
Taylor and Sydney have been "either/or names" for years now, and the NZ names are clearly NZ names so that's fine... but the granddaughters are IMO not so lucky in the name department - :) Mber looks vaguely African. :) Nove Mber means "New Mber" and I would pronounce it "Novay mmmmmmmmBear" until I realized her name was actually something else; Katlin ... well... this one probably gets a Funny Spelling Exemption because that name has so many spellings in so many languages - Caitlin, Katlin, Kaitlin, Katalin, Catalina, Kathleen, and so on, are all exactly the same name just spelled a bit differently for different languages or different regional customs.

(In fact Kathleen, which to some of us might look the most "normal" of all, is simply a transcription from Gaelic of Caitlín, which is not pronounced Katelynn, but [more or less] Kathleen.) So sometimes you'll see Caitlín and need to pronounce Kathleen. And other times (if her parents weren't paying attention) then it IS pronounced Katelynn. Maybe a name to avoid in English-speaking countries? If you're in Hungary, everyone knows how to pronounce Katalin. :)

As long as nobody calls Siobhán "Sy obb han" then I guess the world won't quite explode yet. :)

Ah, yes, it was a long time before I learned how to pronounce shev-ohn.

Some people catch on quickly that Nove was born in November, but even when
we have to explain most think it's a lovely idea, more interesting than April,
May or June.

I was surprised that my 1/4 Cherokee hubby didn't want to choose a NA name
for our daughter. He refused to name her Kyle (my maiden name) because he
thought it sounded too much like Carl. He didn't like Kyla or Kylee either. :(



I have the most common name for women in my generation in North America. I've always been jealous of others with cool names, they don't have to deal with having two other people in their class or workplace with the same name. I now go by the nickname I choose in high school.

But on the other foot, I could never find any personalized dohickeys like bike
tags because my name wasn't as popular as Mary or Sandra. So I was jealous
about that. And yet I did it to my daughter too. There were four other Jenny's
in her class (of only 13 students), and people always assumed it was short for
Jennifer. The others were. Hers was short for Jennetta. She's Jenn now.

dvdnvwls
01-04-14, 03:26 PM
:lol:

I sometimes have the same experience with call centres since my first name isn't spelt in the traditional way Inspite of being super easy. At least compared to my surname.:D

By the way your sharon misspelt her name ;)
Hey, you're right, she did!
I'll have to call her and tell her that's why her Polish documents never arrived. :)

TygerSan
01-04-14, 06:40 PM
Heh. I go by a nickname that is not usually associated with my given name, *and* is spelled non-standardly as well. Makes it fun because people either misspell it -- which if you're not close to me or haven't had to write to me for a while doesn't annoy me, but if you're close to me sometimes rankles a bit -- or they see my given name next to my nickname and insert another vowel into the nickname to shoehorn it into something that more gracefully fits with my given name.

I'd be more worried about whether the name could be made into an embarrassing nickname (i.e. something that rhymes and is vaguely obscene or something similar) than whether it's a pain to spell.

Fuzzy12
01-04-14, 06:48 PM
Heh. I go by a nickname that is not usually associated with my given name, *and* is spelled non-standardly as well. Makes it fun because people either misspell it -- which if you're not close to me or haven't had to write to me for a while doesn't annoy me, but if you're close to me sometimes rankles a bit -- or they see my given name next to my nickname and insert another vowel into the nickname to shoehorn it into something that more gracefully fits with my given name.

I'd be more worried about whether the name could be made into an embarrassing nickname (i.e. something that rhymes and is vaguely obscene or something similar) than whether it's a pain to spell.

Yes me too. As long as the kid isn't likely to get bullied in school for his or her name anything is ok I guess.

Mittens
01-05-14, 12:52 AM
What about Robyn?
You never hear of Robyn's anymore.

dvdnvwls
01-05-14, 04:30 AM
What about Robyn?
You never hear of Robyn's anymore.
Works for me...

stef
01-05-14, 04:36 AM
Part of an imaginary telephone call, in Polish, from England to Poland (I've translated it) :) :

"What's your name, please?"

"Sharon Strzemiński"

"Would you spell that, please?"

"S, Z, ..."

[interrupts her] "No, I know how to spell Strzemiński, but please spell 'Sharon'."

:)

lol i have worked for someone polish for several years and i still have to check how to spell his last name!

don't choose a name that's hard to pronounce

dvdnvwls
01-05-14, 04:51 AM
lol i have worked for someone polish for several years and i still have to check how to spell his last name!

don't choose a name that's hard to pronounce
Well, if there's a bilingual or multilingual situation, then "hard for who" becomes an issue.

Naming every child Ed would solve a lot of problems. Too bad about the ones it would create. :)

stef
01-05-14, 05:06 AM
Well, if there's a bilingual or multilingual situation, then "hard for who" becomes an issue.

Naming every child Ed would solve a lot of problems. Too bad about the ones it would create. :)

we spontaneously chose a french name for our son. lol did not think that through, for my side of the family!

dvdnvwls
01-05-14, 05:27 AM
Well, that also depends if it's a French name that sounds terrible when mispronounced as if English, or only slightly strange. Hugues and Guillaume are certainly in more danger than Henri. :)

RedHairedWitch
01-05-14, 05:10 PM
A few of my girl friends have given their kids old fashioned names like Daphne or Hamish. I think its very cool.

dvdnvwls
01-05-14, 06:42 PM
It's a little bit like clothes - some come back, some don't, and there can be an element of waiting for the right year. :)

And, with both clothes and names, once in a while, some particular one comes back in style that makes me wonder why. :)

Mittens
01-05-14, 07:07 PM
It's a little bit like clothes - some come back, some don't, and there can be an element of waiting for the right year. :)

And, with both clothes and names, once in a while, some particular one comes back in style that makes me wonder why. :)

Hammer pants.

*heave*

If I ever have a child - IT WILL NOT BE HAMMER PANTS!

dvdnvwls
01-05-14, 07:20 PM
What a strange name - Hammer Pants Jones. :)

It's actually better than a lot of real choices by real parents. :(

Dreamer's Wife
01-20-14, 06:27 PM
My husband and I both have very mundane, typical names. We wanted to give our daughter a unique name, something that isn't too bizarre, but unique enough that she probably wouldn't have someone with the same name in her class (I was one of 5 Cynthia's in my high school P.E class....) So we named her Aliza.

Also, I am all about meanings in names, hers means Joyful :-) and she has brought us SO much joy!

Mittens
01-21-14, 03:52 PM
My husband and I both have very mundane, typical names. We wanted to give our daughter a unique name, something that isn't too bizarre, but unique enough that she probably wouldn't have someone with the same name in her class (I was one of 5 Cynthia's in my high school P.E class....) So we named her Aliza.

Also, I am all about meanings in names, hers means Joyful :-) and she has brought us SO much joy!

Awwwwwwww - that is a beautiful story behind it.
Thank you for sharing :)

addthree
01-21-14, 04:47 PM
My dad had us kids when he was 40 and it was not good. Nick is right about being 60 and having teenagers. Do you really want to mess with a baby until age 50? If your up for the challenge and think you have the energy to keep up with a toddler go for it.

Mittens
01-21-14, 04:52 PM
My dad had us kids when he was 40 and it was not good. Nick is right about being 60 and having teenagers. Do you really want to mess with a baby until age 50? If your up for the challenge and think you have the energy to keep up with a toddler go for it.

If it were to transpire in the next couple years I would be 29/30, and he would be 44/45.

He has a TON of energy, and very much isn't his age - in pretty much every way mentally and physically, and absolutely convinced that he does want at least one more child in his future.

He's a strange duck, haha.

TLCisaQT
02-04-14, 07:22 PM
Well, I am totally opposed to this gender-neutral name thing or boys names becoming used for girls names, but I totally own this as my name is typically a boys name and growing up I heard that ALL the time. My name is Tobi, so I heard, oh, that's usually a boy's name, or they frequently spelled it with a "y" or "ie" or thought it was short for Tobias, you get my drift. That or "oh I knew a dog, or a cat, etc, named Tobi."
So I'm pretty biased and made sure that my girls had VERY girly names.

Also as for spelling. I could NEVER buy ANYTHING with my named spelled on it at the store and it BOTHERED me, so I made sure that when I had them, they could buy items with their name on it LOL. so yeah, I have a personal opinion about it :)

Okay, now financially... most of us may not be 100 percent financially ready to have a child but you need to be financially PREPARED. If you are reliant upon ANYONE else to live, and not your income alone - why would people have a baby???

The biggest ISSUE!!!! Having a baby when one parent is NOT willing OR able to be a parent or can't or shouldn't add another child to the mix. I always thought we'd have three children and at least one boy... we will only be having two - and girls at that. We can barely handle the chaos with what we have . In a way it's a loss and sad, but .. not smart for us no matter how much it would be wanted :(