View Full Version : Trigger alert suicidality


EmilyRay42
01-10-14, 03:11 PM
I'm suicidal! Why? Because no one will treat my ADHD! I hate my life and how it has repeatedly been destroyed by ADHD and without any hope of improvement why should I continue to try?

Em

Daydreamin22
01-10-14, 03:28 PM
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Call the helplines if you have their number and I'll try to find the thread with their number, ok?

Daydreamin22
01-10-14, 03:43 PM
I'll help you so you will be past this horrible thing.
I got the number right here. All you need to do is pick up the phone and dial. These are the people who dedicate themselves to figure out exactly what you need, they know what the best things to do to take care of this.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline call 1-800-273-8255. I'm here too. Private message me if you'd rather do that.

LynneC
01-10-14, 04:55 PM
I'll help you so you will be past this horrible thing.
I got the number right here. All you need to do is pick up the phone and dial. These are the people who dedicate themselves to figure out exactly what you need, they know what the best things to do to take care of this.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline call 1-800-273-8255. I'm here too. Private message me if you'd rather do that.
Please, do as Daydreamin22 suggests and call the helpline. There are people there who can help you...
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

You can also chat through their website, if you follow the link above...

mrs. dobbs
01-10-14, 05:08 PM
Hugs. I believe you feel that way and can appreciate the depth of your suffering.

Gilthranon
01-10-14, 05:10 PM
I'm suicidal! Why? Because no one will treat my ADHD! I hate my life and how it has repeatedly been destroyed by ADHD and without any hope of improvement why should I continue to try?

Em
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((EmilyRay42) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
:grouphug: Please don't ! Maybe this place can help you

Daydreamin22
01-10-14, 05:21 PM
We can help you get ADHD treatment. We understand that you need this urgently and know how to take care of it. It does get better. I'm here for you and I've been around long enough to know that you won't be alone on here whenever you get on throughout the night and day. Please stay in touch and please call your family and friends. I care about you.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

sarek
01-10-14, 05:41 PM
Emily, there are lots of ways you can get treatment and our members have a lot of experience on how to do that.

Daydreamin22
01-10-14, 05:43 PM
I'll be here tonight will keep checking for pms often. My green light will be on.

EmilyRay42
01-10-14, 07:59 PM
Thanks all for your concern and love. I am really exhausted right now and will likely take a nap for a few hours.

Fraser_0762
01-10-14, 08:04 PM
Sleep is great when you're feeling at your lowest. I'm sure you'll feel a bit better after a sleep. But once you're done sleeping, please seek help to ensure you don't keep hitting these lows over and over again. It's not healthy to go through life hitting such extreme lows all of the time. You can get help for that. Real help.

midnightstar
01-10-14, 08:44 PM
Emily are you seeing a professional? If not please do see one :grouphug:

Daydreamin22
01-10-14, 08:49 PM
We'll be here. I hope you sleep well.

Here is how you know who is on the forums. (scroll down to the bottom)
http://www.addforums.com/forums/index.php

Here's this website for reaching out
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Lifeline call 1-800-273-8255(TALK)

hattz19
01-10-14, 08:53 PM
I'm suicidal! Why? Because no one will treat my ADHD! I hate my life and how it has repeatedly been destroyed by ADHD and without any hope of improvement why should I continue to try?

Em

DO NOT BE SUICIDAL. I'm 21, and was diagnosed in July. Failed two years of college because of it, and am not far in my life as I'd like to be. I've been in your boat, and minus the suicidal aspect still am. Sometimes it's a fast process, you get the right med and with the correct mindset you're all patched up. Other times, it can take months to get better. Seven months later I'm finally on an antidepressant and reintroducing a stimulant on Monday. Does it suck not being able to learn? Yes. Does being ADHD 24/7 suck? Yes. But always look to the light at the end of the tunnel, and if you're honestly suicidal please know we are here to help you. Just feel the walls, your family, and think of everything that would suffer without you. You are excellent. Keep progressing, think forward. Hugs.

EmilyRay42
01-10-14, 11:30 PM
I have been in and out of various types of treatments for 3 years now. I won't say that it never gets better, it has at times, but I keep running into the same ADHD Wall and after a lifetime of working really hard at getting better and never really getting there I'm tired. I don't have the energy to try anymore. My ED has gotten to the point where eating has become painful. It is easier not to eat physically than to eat. Why should I put myself through the pain of recovery when because of my untreated ADHD I won't stay recovered. Today I did start the process, but it isn't time yet for the painful portion. That would be in a couple of weeks if I start the day treatment program. I have a vision of what my recovery looks like and I am told that I have to give up my vision for someone else's. No, I won't do that! That is not in keeping with the Recovery model of mental health care. I would rather die than give up another part of who I am! Revolutionary thinking I know. Radical even! But, it took me 39 years to figure out who I am and I refuse to live someone else's idea for my life. I am transgender and spent too many years giving into other people's expectations of who I am supposed to be. I won't be anyone else but Emily and I won't treat my ADHD with one drug, and then chase side effects with other drugs. That is not my recovery!

RedHairedWitch
01-11-14, 01:51 PM
*HUGS* Emily. It's hard, it really, really is.

There's so much you could miss out on if you gave up the fight right now.

And we would miss you terribly.

stillnotginger
01-12-14, 12:41 PM
What has helped me is to stop fighting the ADHD, and realizing that I have limitations. And that its just as valid a disability as MS or Fibro. While its not physical it still impacts our lives tremendously. My most recent therapist has helped me with this.


If I had given up when I was feeling like you do, my children would not exist. I don't even know you but I can tell you this, you are worthy of being loved and cared about.

EmilyRay42
01-12-14, 03:59 PM
Stillnotginger, If I give up fighting the ADHD and accept my limitations then what? I have no young children and I haven't spoken to my son in a year, and I have no partner. I won't even start dating until I get treatment and the Doctors have made it clear that they won't treat me. What do I have to live for? I live in a crappy studio apartment, I can't afford a car, I can't work, I can't go to school. I don't want to live like this for the next 40 years! I don't want to live like this for another month!

ADHD_Adult
01-12-14, 04:08 PM
Why is it you are not being treated EmilyRay? You need to continue because you have people who love you. This is a new year and you have to make yourself like me understand that when one door closes, another will open. You have people who care. I may not know you but I can tell you I tried suicide and its not something you want to do. The pain others will feel, the hurt, the pain. There are things you can do to get treated but you have to lets us know why you cannot be treated so we can see if we can help. Feel free to add me as a friend. :eek:

ADHD_Adult
01-12-14, 04:13 PM
Again why have the doctors made it clear they will not treat you? There is something to the puzzle missing. Have you abused any drug(s), is there a requirement before they will treat you? What city are you living in? There has to be a free clinic you can go to and request testing/medicine. I do understand that if you are not treated, it could be a mess because of the issues that go along with ADHD. Everyone is not able to control or self medicate (WA state/Colorado) to try to control the effects of ADHD. :scratch:

ADHD_Adult
01-12-14, 04:23 PM
so what you are transgender. You are still human and I bet a wonderful person. You are grown, you have ADHD, and you need to take medicine and that does not mean you have to be anybody else. That means once the medicine starts to work, you can focus on what you want to do with yourself whether its fashion, makeup artist, model and spokesperson for other transgenders, or a dancer you will be able to focus on that. There is nothing wrong with medicine. NOTHING. Yes they can have side effects but if the ultimate goal of concentration and focus is achieved, who gives two ****s and a kiss what anyone else thinks? You do you for YOU. NO ONE ELSE. You have low self esteem and you need friends and you have people trying to help you so tell <<<SUICIDE>>> to **** off and go bother the pedophiles who need this and tell <<<Assistance>>> hello and accept it. :yes:

EmilyRay42
01-12-14, 04:42 PM
I have a history of drug use, but I have three years clean.

ADHD_Adult
01-12-14, 04:46 PM
so now that we know you are clean. you want to be Emily right? so we need to map out how to do that but you need to tell <<<suicide>>> to kiss off. We cannot help you if you are not willing to assist us a little so are you?

EmilyRay42
01-12-14, 04:58 PM
yes, I want a road map.