View Full Version : When it pours..VERY long

01-11-14, 10:22 AM
This has been one h*ll of a depressing week.
Came to my moms apartment in another state to visit for the holidays. Got here on Dec. 22nd.
My bf couldnt come..he had/has to work.

My boyfriend and I just moved out of state last Oct., but my oldest daughter who is almost 18 really wanted to stay at my moms, so she could graduate with all her friends& class.

Even though I am out of state, its only a 4 hour drive so I allowed her to stay with my mom.

Around Dec. 27-28 we found out that they had finally scheduled my moms much needed surgery for Jan. 6th. I had planned on leaving Jan. 2nd..but now my visit has been extended.

Started decent on Mon. the 6th. when my mom went into surgery. She had to go to a special hospital to have this kind of surgery, which is about 80 miles away.

I was so happy for her, as she's been in severe pain for nearly a year now.

So late Monday I get a call saying the surgery went very well. I was happy. The next day I spoke with my mom and she sounded tired but also very well considering what she went through. oldest daughter had a breakdown and I had to take her to the ER. She told them that she was suicidal, then later they tell me they wont admit her because she hasn't 'threatened' to hurt herself.

I tried arguing the fact that she told me 2 times that day she wanted to kill herself. So I guess since she didnt develop some diabolical plan, they sent her home. She has follow up appt. with her therapist.

I am heart broken about this..

Yesterday morning..I called the hospital to talk to my mom. They tell me shes been discharged!
They were supposed to notify me when they moved her to a rehab center and they didnt!

The woman I spoke to of course was quite nasty, claiming it wasnt on file where she was moved to, just that she had been discharged late the day before! And I knew nothing about it!

To shorten this up, I made some calls and tracked her down at a rehab center only about 10 miles away.

These employees were very nice to me. But when I spoke to my mom...she sounded deathly.
She was confused, disoriented, in pain and just wasnt herself. This made me very depressed and sick inside. She sounded 100% better the very Next day after surgery!

A few hours later, her nurse calls me and asks if my mom is DNR or not! My hearts pounding, I'm thinking shes dying, I tell her yes revive her if needed.

Then the nurse says something is wrong with her stomach and they are doing x rays and she will call me back with the results.

My daughter is back from school for 10 mins and she starts bawling. I'm thinking she is having another breakdown, instead she tells me one of her friends killed himself.

All I could do was just hug her as she cried, telling her how sorry I was.

I just cant believe this week..SO awful.

My daughter and I are going to visit my mom this afternoon. I have to bring her clothes and I want to give her some flowers.

Sorry for such a long post. If you read it all, thank you.

01-11-14, 12:33 PM

Any one of those would be really hard to deal with, but with all of them piled
on top of each other ... holy cow!

I'm glad your daughter is already seeing a therapist, dealing with the suicide
of a friend or family member is really difficult.

I'd file a complaint with the hospital about the lack of notification and about
the woman who was rude to you - and send a copy to your state health
regulatory board.

And what a horrible way to begin the phone call from the rehab center -
asking if your mom is DNR!!! I would have freaked.

01-11-14, 03:29 PM
((((((((Hugs)))))))), a whole lotta love, many thoughts of strength, healing, rest, and patience coming to you and your family.

01-11-14, 04:51 PM
Oh, Raye, that is a heap of stuff all dumped on you at once. I hope everything gets sorted out and your mom, your daughter, and YOU pull out of everything just fine. You'll be in my thoughts.

01-11-14, 05:38 PM

So sorry you're dealing with all of this! Much love and happy thoughts being sent your way. Hang in there!! :grouphug:

01-12-14, 08:12 PM

01-12-14, 08:22 PM
Hugs raye.i hope your daughter wasnt in a pact w a bunch of other students n maybe she saw the light.With your mom that sounds really hokey mom had a dnr and that was very hard for ne, when she told me she didnt want to be revived I broke down.her logic why so I can live 2 more hours in pain suffering?! I had to respect her wishes but I came to something most people in life never grasp, I realized my time w her was short and every time I left I knew it might be the last time I saw it gave me that much more appreciation for her n life n you appreciate n see things in a whole another light.once again hugs.

01-15-14, 11:03 AM
Thank you all!

I have good news that my daughter and mother are doing MUCH better :)

My mom began her physical therapy and is feeling good.

My daughter has calmed down a lot and is even laughing and joking with her friends and I.

My bf has been 100% supportive.

Couldn't ask for a better outcome!

01-15-14, 11:11 AM
So happy that everything has worked out so well for you !!!! :grouphug:

01-15-14, 11:20 AM
Thank goodness!

01-15-14, 12:51 PM
I love hearing good news! So glad things are looking better. :yes:

I hope the physical therapy and the mental therapy keep working well.

And don't be jealous please, but here's a cyber hug for your boyfriend. :grouphug:

01-15-14, 01:30 PM
The situtation that happened with your mom IMO should have attorney review. There is no way that was legal and in her best interest.