Hi everybody,

I need help with some questions.

I have not officially been diagnosed as ADD, but I suspect I suffer from a mild form of inattentive ADD, possibly also limbic and basal ganglia ADD, so no hyperactivity or impulsivity.

The inattention is particularly a problem when talking or listening to people, sitting in class, performings tasks, etc... so I have no attention problems while reading.

Other symptoms include frequent daydreaming, motor tics like wobling legs and pulling my shoulders (?), easily distracted, forgetfull, making careless mistakes, etc...

I also experience some kind of constant nervousness. I'm already taking Valerian for this and it seems to be helping somewhat. I'm also taking St.-John's Worth for light depression.

But the thing that bugs me the most (and which is apparently part of the ADD package) is the passivenes and apathy of my character. The withdrawal, the social isolation, I'm really sick of it. My social life sucks, my only friends are the ones I made a long time ago in highschool, my love life is non-existent and all this due to a combination of the passiveness and the resulting low self esteem.

So my question: who has similar experiences? Who knows a therapy or medication that can help these kinds of problems?

thx
Swift

PS: And one last question, to what kind of doctor should I go? The family doctor, a psychiatrist or a neurologist?

All are excellent questions, and welcome to the forums.

There's different ways to go about this, and you have to try what feels comfortable and reasonable to you. I can only give you my personal experience.

I first went to a psychiatrist. He referred me to a behavioral therapist for ADD assessment. My insurance would not cover the entire assessment, they'll only cover it for children, but they got enough information to say that there is a "strong case" for ADD. On web sites I got the strongest scores for inattentive type. My psychiatrist felt that this was enough information to give me an official diagnosis and prescribed Straterra. I never saw the behavioral therapist again.

I initially went to the psychiatrist for depression/mood swings and had already been diagnosed with Bipolar Type II. As you must know from your obvious research, ADD often has co-morbid conditions.

I am now seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist. Medication got me to the starting line, but now I need to rebuild some skills to cope and organize. I learned a lot of bad habits growing up, diagnosed at 32, and need to retrain my brain.

There's a good book I found at the library, "ADD in Adults". It gives some very helpful tips and coping skills for the person with ADD and their family. If memory serves me correctly there is some advice on socializing.

My initial reaction to your situation is you have learned to cope with your ADD by making your social life "safe". The passiveness and withdrawal probably stem from low self esteem which is very common in ADDers, as we feel like we fail or fall short so much of the time. I have isolated myself socially from time to time because groups of people or going out was overwhelming to me. It's a vicious circle, too. One leads to the other. You can certainly try medication for the ADD to see what works for you. My personal oppinion is that the medication alone will not solve things. You then must apply the coping strategies, which you may have tried before the meds but didn't work because of the ADD.

There are support groups, such as C.H.A.D.D., that may get you on the road to social recovery. (I have never been interested but you may like it.) Then there's the self-discovery period where you fix some things and realize that some stuff is just part of your base line personality. I'm an introvert. Always will be. Don't want to change it.

The St. John's Wort may not be strong enough for your depression, but you can put the depression in second place to see if coping with the ADD first helps. You may need medication for both if it's really interfering in your life, to the point of not functioning or harmful thoughts.

I find that socializing here is a safe place to discuss my ADD, whereas with my family and friends I have only briefly explained it. They know what I mean when I jokingly say "I'm having an ADD day." I hope you continue to find what you're looking for and please don't hesitate to ask questions, on the forums or in a private message to a moderator or administrator. Hope some of this was useful. Again, a warm welcome.

I'm becoming more and more socially withdrawn, because while I get sick of sitting home, when I make plans, I find myself wishing I wasn't there when I go through with them, nowadays. I back out of most plans now, when I lived for socializing in the past.
But then again, there haven't been any plan options that I think are interesting enough for me to attend lately. Maybe my ADHD is aging right along with me...
Nova

I think what you're dealing with might be similar to what I've had to deal with. In my case, it wasn't apathy at all -- I really cared about getting things done and making plans and following through with them, it just never seemed to happen. It made me depressed, which probably fed into the whole cycle.

As for social withdrawal, I've always been a bit aloof. Mostly it is because I don't know how to approach new relationships. I don't think that in my case it's as much related to ADD as to nonverbal learning disability. I can certainly understand how you might feel uncomfortable around people, though. When there's a constant low-level (or high-level, I suppose) anxiety in social situations, one of the instincts is to just avoid that type of situation.

Avoidance is a particularly easy way to deal with it for me, because it doesn't so much require action as inaction a lot of times. I got a lot of help with this from Wellbutrin and a great therapist. A large part of it just came from me getting sick of feeling the way I felt, which is why I went for testing in the first place. I'm sure you can get help for these issues from a mental health professional, whether you choose to see a physician or a therapist, if you are willing to make the changes. Meds do make it a lot easier for me, though, I'll tell you that.

Thank you for your warm welcome and kind words.

My initial reaction to your situation is you have learned to cope with your ADD by making your social life "safe". The passiveness and withdrawal probably stem from low self esteem which is very common in ADDers, as we feel like we fail or fall short so much of the time. I didn't make my life safe, my life has always been that way. I just hate the fact that I'm not able to make a positive change in my life. I have always been very quiet and aloof. I made my first friends when I was 10 years old. Not that I wasn't able to make friends, the concept of friendship was just alien to me. I've read that ADD'ers mature much slower that other people.

But yes, I agree that I've avoided certain situations because they were overwhelming. But I'm still passive in situations that don't overwhelm me, so...

My personal oppinion is that the medication alone will not solve things. You then must apply the coping strategies, which you may have tried before the meds but didn't work because of the ADD. Medication alone might not solve everything, but it could be very helpfull. I'm still looking for people who had positive experiences in this domain.

Then there's the self-discovery period where you fix some things and realize that some stuff is just part of your base line personality. I'm an introvert. Always will be. Don't want to change it. I don't mind being an introvert. It's the lack of extraversion that bugs me.

The St. John's Wort may not be strong enough for your depression, but you can put the depression in second place to see if coping with the ADD first helps. You may need medication for both if it's really interfering in your life, to the point of not functioning or harmful thoughts. I think the St. John's Wort and the Valerian are working well enough for me. Last week I had a negative experience and I could really feel that my negative emotions were being buffered.

I find that socializing here is a safe place to discuss my ADD, whereas with my family and friends I have only briefly explained it. I think forums are usefull, but I don't consider it real socializing.

Thanks again for helping me out.
Swift

I got a lot of help with this from Wellbutrin and a great therapist. Great! This is what I was looking for. Can you tell me more about the effects Wellbutrin had on you?

thx
Swift