View Full Version : Is there a way to just push through depression?


fracturedstory
01-14-14, 06:40 AM
I'm coming down from a three day mania. I have committed to so many things such as working on social skills, writing two blogs and learning all I can about the Marvel universe including buying some really hard to find vintage comics.

Now of course I feel bad for my impulsive spending and I'm in no fit state to even practice what I've learnt about social skills in the last couple of days.

My depressive episodes are brief but intense and I just think maybe if I had no choice but put up with it for months I might somehow be able to still get through the day and do all the basic tasks I'd need to do. Not almost go hungry because I wasn't motivated to go down to the shops to buy ingredients for a dinner I have no motivation to cook.

I don't think my psychiatrist will ever help me even if he wanted to. He is blind to my mood issues and I know I should find another psychiatrist but I haven't done that yet, and I don't think I ever will. I'm pretty good at noticing patterns in my own behaviour. My hypomania/mania phases make me think I could probably get through it all without treatment like my sister. I'm not nearly as demanding as she is so I'm not really hurting anyone by not getting treatment, I'm just hurting myself for either a few hours to a few days. Sometimes it lasts a week and I could barely get up to face everyday.

But I need to do stuff. I need that confidence I once had, especially from yesterday. I don't want to have this two or three day depression again or even for a few hours. I bet it will last until midday or 3pm tomorrow.

Please, none of that (((hugging))) nonsense. I can't stand it when I'm in this mood. I don't know why. Maybe because I don't like hugs and that just reminds me of how different I am.

stef
01-14-14, 07:37 AM
If you KNOW what you're up against, how long it could last and how you'll feel you're a step ahead of it already!
I wouldn't say "push through" exactly, but just kind of "lie low until it passes". Just do the strict minimum.

Fuzzy12
01-14-14, 09:17 AM
I agree with stef. Don't overload yourself and stress yourself out more. Just try and do the basic minimum, whatever you can do without making yourself feel worse. Maybe you can try to sleep off most of it. Pamper yourself. If anything seems remotely enjoyable then do it. Then you'll have at least more energy once you are feeling a bit better again.

Corina86
01-14-14, 09:37 AM
At least you did something productive in the mania stage, which is a very good thing and you should give yourself credit. I agree with Stef and Fuzzy, there isn't much you can do now. Did you read the comics you bought? I don't know if this is a good advice, but maybe they can take your mind of things for a while.

fracturedstory
01-17-14, 12:52 AM
Hi, me again.

I can't quite remember what I did. I have read quite a lot of comic books including those rare ones I just bought. I think at some point I wrote a blog post and became hypomanic again. The depression turned into a mixed episode which comes with its own problems but I've managed to keep myself busy with reading (Marvel comics related things) and watching Doctor Who classic serials mostly. I had a day when I went out and bought comics and cds too. The order of events are all a blur to me.

So I can keep depression at bay as long as I keep myself busy, at least for now. One thing I have done is not spend that much time on social networking sites and I feel much better for it. I've played some video games too.

I've even finally made the decision to go to America with the rest of my family. My brother and sister have been very helpful in explaining to me the finer details of preparing to travel and just how I'm supposed to do everything while over there (I must be prepared for everything - no surprises #autism).

I'm also looking forward to signing up for more bands to photograph, even going to those scary unknown parts of town to get some photos of them. So I might be a bit hypomanic now. I must not overdo it.

BellaVita
01-17-14, 05:25 AM
Yeah, try to do ONE thing at a time.

I learned that from another bipolar chick.

The depression sucks.

Maybe knock yourself out with sleeping pills or benzos.

Corina86
01-17-14, 08:59 AM
Wow, you're moving to another country? Congratulations! It's gonna be a big change for you, hopefully for better. I would recommend that, if you're on any medication, to pay your doc another visit and make sure you get a supply, because you might not be able to get them immediately once you move to the USA.

Anastasia
01-17-14, 10:15 AM
Coming to the states, huh? Welcome! Do you know where? if you choose to share that is.

I'm sure you must feel awful right now, but you sound hopeful. You're armed with the facts about your Dx and history. You also mentioned how long it lasts. Knowing when it dissipates, I hope is providing you with some comfort. When I'm deep in it, I think this is it, this is how I will feel for the rest of my life. Depression is a liar.

Sleep is an option to escape, benzos and sleeping pills can exacerbate depression for some. You may know this already, as well as how you react to them.

Keep things light, comics are great, funny movies etc. Be kind to yourself, those plans are still a reality, may be in another day or two, and that's ok. Get some fresh air, even if it's stepping outside and breathing deeply. Open the blinds, and make sure you eat and shower. Sounds so basic, but helps a lot when you're depressed.

I recently started reading comics online, they're fun. Also check out " Hyperbole and a Half" a great web-site, about depression and her views on it. Along with other funny stuff. Her cartoon drawings are very funny. I don't think anybody with depression, or a history of it should miss her work. I hope you feel better very soon.

kittenparty
01-17-14, 05:19 PM
I second Hyperbole and a Half if you're not familiar! I've read the site online for awhile, and am literally reading her book right now. It's nice because it talks about depression in a really honest way that isn't warm and fuzzy, but makes you laugh and feel like you're not alone. Way better than the generic "IT GETS BETTER LOLOLOL" sentiments that people who don't understand how depression feels say to you to dismiss or gloss over how you're feeling.

Also the song "A Better Son/Daughter" by Rilo Kiley makes me both cry and feel better when I listen to it.

I can't relate to your experience of brief but intense depression - mine's more of a medium simmer most the time, but I think you are doing the right thing by forcing yourself to go out and experience things. The more I go out, even just for a photography adventure about town, the less I sit in front of the computer (which leads to my wasting so much time, impulsive spending, online gaming, further isolation). The tightness in my chest actually goes away when I leave the house, so I'm trying to train my own brain to realize that. It's a struggle, but I'm getting better at doing that.

I hope something I said helps, even a little.

fracturedstory
01-17-14, 10:38 PM
I'm only visiting the States. Portland. My sister is getting married and invited the whole family. It's my first time overseas and because of my anxiety my brother and sister have banded together and have given me some helpful tips or at least explained to me how it works.
I could never leave Australia's music scene behind. I'm kind of patriotic about it.

Comic books are light reading when you don't read them with as much intensity as me. I can never just read or watch something without wanting to make something of my own. I keep thinking, I should draw something like this or maybe start illustrating comic books. I would but...ADHD. Not to mention all too brief manias that get me nowhere.

I've read my Marvel Fact Files for six days straight and it's the seventh day and I have one more left to read before a new one comes out on Monday and I am wrecked. I can't believe I've managed to read the few pages that I have today. Yesterday I think I did way too much and completely exhausted myself that even my body feels run down.

I keep thinking that it's because I haven't had a significant depressed mood in which to recharge myself that I feel so tired. Because basically it goes severe deep depression for a few hours or even a day to > hypomania! I also have fears about whether kicking back would make me depressed again.

I've read Hyperbole and while it is funny I think NTs have made far too much of a big deal about it without even seeing that the author has ADHD to even experience in the same way I do. I don't tend to like 'samey' humor. I just like it when things are new and can't stand everyone all laughing at the exact type of humor. I think I'm about ready to declare war on both Facebook and Twitter.

I can't stand text talk even when people are making fun of it. Or hugs. There's quite a lot on the internet I can't stand. No wonder I keep calling people old girl or old boy. Anything different and I like it. I understand how old fashioned those words are too.

I'm elite with my music too. I normally don't venture outside of the music I listen to unless it's related to the type of rock/punk I listen to. In my own time my tastes grows but I'm not going to get anything out of music someone recommends.

Gosh. I'm a bit of a b*****d today, eh? Well, I'm tired. I don't like being tired. I like reading and writing and talking and playing games. I like to be focused and energetic. I want my room clean and vacuumed, my fact files all read, the skin shedding from my thumb to cease and g***damn, when are my editors going to send me a list of bands to photograph? I should exercise too. But I am just so tired.

Because of my skin allergy to UV light I cannot so easily just go outside for some fresh air. I don't trust those plants around my sensitive skin and sinuses too.

I get easily exhausted by experiencing too many overwhelming environments too.

I'm sorry. Cranky pants either needs a nap, some food or both. It's also a hot summer's day. At least I don't live in Melbourne. It's very very hot there.

Raye
01-20-14, 09:09 AM
In response to the title of your thread...I wish!
( face palm)

It does sound like you need a new pdoc but stated you probably wont...

best of luck to you, I hope things improve.

Fraser_0762
01-20-14, 09:13 AM
As others have said, you need to start by taking small steps, insteading of expecting yourself to take huge sudden leaps.

Start from the very basics and gradually work your way up. Don't try and accomplish it all right away, that doesn't work for anyone.