momoftoddlers
08-01-03, 01:11 AM
Well, I don't really know what to say. I guess at this point I just need to vent.
My sister in law told me today that my mom was admitted into the hospital. This is difficult for me. But I think this is where it all began. So bare with me.
I was diagnosed with Depression at age 13- My mom was an incredible supporter of me. I can't really explain how my mom was such an incredible person to me. Or rather- is. I have always loved my mom & respected her- what she said & what she wanted from me. Although I didn't like it sometimes, I did what my mom said.
When I was 14- My mom went to go to the college she was attending for finishing up her teaching degree. She stopped at the bathroom, threw up & choked on her vomit. She went into a cardiac arrest- from there- ended up comatose for 6 months- then brain damage on both sides of her brain & vegetable like.
She's been this way since then. I'm now 26. I'm upset because I've missed my mom so much. Even though she's still alive- she's not who she was.
Tonight, my sister in law emailed me telling me that my mom had a g.i. obstruction & was brought to the hospital. Daily I wonder if I'm going to get "the phone call" I feel like my life has stopped until I hear that... the inevitable has happened. And I just want either for Got to perform a miracle- or for him to take her home. Don't let her suffer anymore. I miss my mom, but I can't be selfish. I can't feel like I'm holding her back, or whatever. I just want for everything to be normal again. Somehow. Although I don't think that it'll ever be normal again.
Anyway- that's it for now, I suppose. I'm really tired & need a cigarette before bed.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Janet
My sister in law told me today that my mom was admitted into the hospital. This is difficult for me. But I think this is where it all began. So bare with me.
I was diagnosed with Depression at age 13- My mom was an incredible supporter of me. I can't really explain how my mom was such an incredible person to me. Or rather- is. I have always loved my mom & respected her- what she said & what she wanted from me. Although I didn't like it sometimes, I did what my mom said.
When I was 14- My mom went to go to the college she was attending for finishing up her teaching degree. She stopped at the bathroom, threw up & choked on her vomit. She went into a cardiac arrest- from there- ended up comatose for 6 months- then brain damage on both sides of her brain & vegetable like.
She's been this way since then. I'm now 26. I'm upset because I've missed my mom so much. Even though she's still alive- she's not who she was.
Tonight, my sister in law emailed me telling me that my mom had a g.i. obstruction & was brought to the hospital. Daily I wonder if I'm going to get "the phone call" I feel like my life has stopped until I hear that... the inevitable has happened. And I just want either for Got to perform a miracle- or for him to take her home. Don't let her suffer anymore. I miss my mom, but I can't be selfish. I can't feel like I'm holding her back, or whatever. I just want for everything to be normal again. Somehow. Although I don't think that it'll ever be normal again.
Anyway- that's it for now, I suppose. I'm really tired & need a cigarette before bed.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Janet