It's been forever since I've logged in here and I almost forgot these boards were even here, but I'm glad to have remembered now because I am really feeling awfully bad right now and need to feel like someone understands!

First of all, has anyone here ever used the ADA at work in order to get accommodations due to ADHD or any other mental impairments (like anxiety or depression)? I am starting to think this is something I should ask for but I am afraid, and concerned that it could open a can of worms and I could lose my job.

I have ADHD, was diagnosed for the first time at age 29 late last summer and I take Methylin three times a day. Helps the ADHD symptoms quite a bit although I have anxiety which I think limits how much the meds can help me. But overall, I am less impatient, less reactive, and less moody during the 9 hours a day that the Methylin is in effect.

However, I also have anxiety, probably am very close to getting a social anxiety disorder or avoidant personality disorder diagnosis although I am scared to ask my counselor if that's what he thinks, but mainly I experience a lot of anxiety over basic things, and sometimes no anxiety over really big things, it just really depends on the situation. I like my job, therefore I get extremely panicked about the possibility of losing my job, of getting fired mostly.

I find that I experience less anxiety, less restlessness, less discomfort and less avoidance of work when I know ahead of time where I will be spending my time at work. Unfortunately I have been put in a position where I am considered to be a "floater" and three days a week there is a possibility I will get to work and find out that I will not be where I expected to be and this has resulted in a huge amount of anxiety for me-- which turns into restlessness which turns into distractability or moodiness or anger, even though I KNOW it just isn't normal that is the way it is. I have tried to deny it and push it back but lately it's been getting more and more pronounced. I feel like I need consistency in my routine, that no amount of meds for ADHD or anxiety is going to change that until I've had significant therapy and improvement in my symptoms. I feel like it is reasonable for me to ask that I remain in one place, since there will always be at least one worker needed in this one particular place, therefore it is a reasonable request and would not cause undue problems for my employer.

Am I wrong? Is this just a stupid, childish request on my part? I have a hard time knowing when I have a right to feel how I feel, and a hard time accepting that I am not normal and I cannot handle change the way most people can and I feel so defective and awful but I'm at a point where I just cannot deal with the anxiety about not knowing where I'm going to be spending my time working and with who and in what environment, etc. I tried to assert myself and explain that I really would like to have a day notice if I will be doing something else, but it resulted in possible cuts in my hours at work which is upsetting to me, and now I'm feeling all sorts of fears about being fired. I have never told them about my ADHD or anxiety, because I feared that would get me fired or would lead to them finding some sort of "excuse" to fire me, so I have never tried to use these things as an excuse for special treatment-- I have mostly come up with other "explanations" having to do with the fact that I am caring for a child and need to be able to let the child know where I will be at all times... but I don't think that is going to be enough.

Please help and let me know what you think. I have to be up in 5 hours for work, but this is so worrisome to me that I can't sleep right now. I would prefer to be able to be as flexible and easygoing as everyone else is but I just can't change who I am, and I can't just quit my job every time something like this happens. Right??? Or am I just making excuses?? :confused:

I have felt like you many times before. I actually posted last night regarding the acceptance of professionals to our symptoms. You are not alone. Just relax a moment. Take a deep breath.

Now, I can't give true advice here, because I do not know the whole situation, nor do I have any understanding of the company you work for. I can give support and compassion.

Consider all that you posted. Take a look at your writing as if it was a post from another member and give them the advice that is in your heart. When you take the fear and confusion out of the equation and look at it all objectively things will be much clearer for you.

I personally feel that my symptoms all to frequently derail me from my goals. At times of extreme overload, I truly do wish that I could use my diagnosis in order to receive special treatment. However, even though I cannot take responsibility for instance my symptoms may cause from time to time, I do take full responsibility for how I let those circumstances affect me. Sometimes it may take a day or a week to come to terms with what has happened, but I do not let it go.

So, I was a real basket case today. I wasn't at my best. There may be repurcussions. Does that mean I am bad in some way? Not at all. Does it mean that I am defective? No, it simply means that one more day of my life has passed, perfect or imperfect. How I react to it does, however, affect my tomorrow. Nurture yourself, because others cannot do this for you.

It sounds like your situation is extremely difficult. I am sorry that you are feeling so overwhelmed. Consider this...

Whether or not you choose to use the ADA, what are you doing to make the situation better? Do you know where you will be working tomorrow before you leave work today? Could you spend any time preparing yourself so that you won't feel the anxiety of overload? If there is no warning and this moving around continues to throw you over the top, it would not be an unreasonable request to ask to be put into a stationary position.

Once you have considered any way you may increase the problem through normal behavior and not ADD symptoms and have utilized any helpful observations to improve your work enviornment, you will have a clearer confidence about what you must do. If it is all symptom related and it may very well be, then I would consider making a request for a change of duties, if I was the one having these problems.

Before you disclose your diagnosis, it would be important to be certain that you are doing all within your own power to be successful in your position. Sometimes we simply cannot function how we feel we should and sometimes it can be that we have decided we cannot. My grandmother always said "Can't never could." A very true statement.

Now that you have done the inner work and are prepared, go to your superiors and discuss any opportunity within the company that would be more attune with your abilities. You can state what the hinderances to your performance are. Explain that you are a valuable employee and intend to remain loyal to their vision, but your skills could more affectively be utilized if... You fill in the blanks. If you feel it is what you want to do, explain your diagnosis and that because you are a seasoned employee you would easily adapt to a change in your responsibilities.

I never use my daignosis as an excuse. I know all too well the stigma that is attached. I am, however, working on my own inner stigma to the disorder. If I accept it as what I feel others see it as, my actions will only confirm that they are correct.

I just ask you to be careful. Do the very best you can to do a good job. If the anxiety takes you over at work, you may feel more prepared if you do some prep work at home to get yourself ready for your day. A great time is when we insomniacs should be sleeping. Just a few minutes before bed and you may rest better, too. Then, if it doesn't help enough to get you into a better place of mind, consider what I have said. You may simply be ill suited for this floating position and it is not at all fair to you to continue doing what has triggered such a deep reaction. Not saying quit your job, just saying that you can still be valuable to your company (and even more so) if you get away from moving around so much.

If we do all we are able to do, never use ADD as an excuse for something we are really capable of, then they can never use our diagnosis against us. If we use our diagnosis as a sheild to keep from trying, we have given them ammunition to use to hurt us. If we are unable to do what is requested, we have a responsibility to ourselve to insure that we are not needlessly abused by the demands of others. We must enlighten those who are impossing impossible demands in order to protect ourselves from Us and Them.

Again, this is not true advice. I do not know enough about your situation to feel comfortable giving advice. However, these may be helpful things to consider.

Wishing you the best,
Allegro

Thanks for your response-- I can understand what you're saying and I have given it a lot of thought since this whole thing started. I am not meeting with my boss until Monday and already a lot of what I plan to discuss with her has evolved.

I have had two "anxiety attacks" in response to getting to work and finding out that I was not going to be in the place I had prepared myself to be in. I tried after the first time to deny what I had felt and experienced, because as is typical with me and my ADHD, once I get through a very stressful and overwhelming situation I do fairly quickly recover; and then I forget how AWFUL it was to be in that position. Last week it happened for a second time and not only did I experience all those awful things, but I behaved in a way that I was truly concerned would impact my future in my job. That is when I realized I needed to take a different approach.

I'm still nervous about going in and addressing this at all, but I realize it is for the greater good. There have been times when I have been at work and I didn't know what my purpose was that day or where I should be or what the schedule was, and it puts me in such a bad state that I feel it makes more sense to just be up front with some of the needs that I have rather than allow myself to be in a position where I'm feeling overwhelmed and distressed unnecessarily. I'm not going to "milk" this for all it's worth, because I don't think I'd ever be comfortable with special treatment that isn't totally and absolutely necessary. It's not about being where I want to be, and I am going to remember that.

Anyway thanks for your response... I'm feeling quite a lot better now but I'm still going forward with this because I don't want to repeat the same thing again or go through that again.