View Full Version : Sleep really does make a difference

02-06-14, 01:32 AM
I stayed up late writing and today woke up just feeling so very scattered, antsy and my skin feels horrible. I wasn't as organised with my lists and routine as normal. I didn't shower because I took too long to get ready. And although I have done some things they seem like achievements (more film study) I can't help feeling like a lazy b******. I feel like everything I type is digging me into a deeper grave. My thoughts are even looping around my head and sometimes I find myself uttering these repetitive phrases, and that's the single most irritating thing my sister does. We heard you the first time! Sigh. I am just like her, just a less self-medicated shorter episode type.
I don't even know what you would call that feeling. Possibly anxiety. I've hallucinating too. I think. I'm still not sure. The water turned red and it was like there was some strange creature in the bathroom.

I've been hyperfocusing more too and not being able to shift to the next task. I have an insatiable appetite too.

I just feel like crap. Restless. Worried about stupid things like making food. Worried about wasting time online. And my mum contacted me and says 'what time do you want me to come up and organize your passport?' How about never. I can't think that far ahead. I feel so disorganized today I hardly want to think about dealing with her and having to do anything more than being glued in front of my computer or TV.
I remembered I forgot when my next psyche appointment was so I looked it up and it's tomorrow! Right. My skin is crawling. My brain is crawling too. I can hardly walk down the street let alone catch a train to a stupid town to go and say I don't know what to a doctor who has no f***ing clue.

Someone just tie me up and throw me into an institution. Or better yet, sedate me.

02-06-14, 01:45 AM

Seriously, get something to knock you out.

The longer you're awake, the worse it gets.

02-06-14, 01:47 AM
You know you can ask someone to take you to an institution.

(Not trying to be mean, just trying to help)

02-06-14, 02:04 AM
They don't work on me. They just sort of paralyze me and I become cranky yet still awake. I'm probably cranky because I'm still awake. I probably need a tranquilizer.

I don't think I'm ready to be committed yet. I don't think I'll want to stay up late tonight again.