View Full Version : Paranoid


BellaVita
02-07-14, 06:07 PM
I've been paranoid lately that people are talking about me.

Like I hear their words and think they're saying something about me.

It's very disturbing and I think my own mind might be messing with me.

I can't help but think I'm hearing them talk about me.

How can I control it?

Abi
02-07-14, 06:26 PM
You told me earlier today that you ran out of Kloni's.

Remember last time your ran out of Kloni's the same thing happened? J was home on vacation and you thought he and your father were talking about you?

Just remember that time and remember it wasn't real and realise its the same thing.

Maybe your landlady uses benzos? :) Love ya

Lunacie
02-07-14, 06:26 PM
I have felt that way sometimes myself. Seems to be a byproduct of my anxiety.

When I stop to think about it, how often do I talk about other people around me?

Really, not very often. So chances are they aren't talking about me very often either.

midnightstar
02-07-14, 06:28 PM
Hope you can get it sorted Bella

{derail}(sorry im not stopping I keep getting dizzy {/end derail}

ttyl

BellaVita
02-07-14, 06:29 PM
Thanks guys. :)

peripatetic
02-07-14, 06:52 PM
For clinical paranoia, aka persecutory delusions: Antipsychotics are first line treatment

But that doesn't seem to be what you or most mean by "paranoid"
Another word appropriated by the masses that means something different when it's on your psych record

Social anxiety I'm not well versed in
But if you have complex consistent what professionals because they're smug ****ers deem "delusions"
Yeah, antipsychotics can help and are pretty much all that does

If you have the wherewithal/insight to question and analyse your thoughts then CBT is shown effective
Whether only in combination with benzodiazepines or not I can't say because, as noted, social anxiety isn't my bag

Best wishes to you x

avjgirsijdhtjhs
02-07-14, 06:55 PM
Are you taking anything that increases dopamine (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1349300&postcount=3)? Are you anticipating both good\rewarding things, like feeling inspired\enthusiastic to do things and with an increased libido, and bad things more, like as in does it seem like there's a greater chance of bad things happening, and things feel like they have more to do with you? Do things seem more intense and significant?

Care to list the meds that you take now and have taken recently?

You're bipolar two, right?

BellaVita
02-07-14, 07:04 PM
For clinical paranoia, aka persecutory delusions: Antipsychotics are first line treatment

But that doesn't seem to be what you or most mean by "paranoid"
Another word appropriated by the masses that means something different when it's on your psych record

Social anxiety I'm not well versed in
But if you have complex consistent what professionals because they're smug ****ers deem "delusions"
Yeah, antipsychotics can help and are pretty much all that does

If you have the wherewithal/insight to question and analyse your thoughts then CBT is shown effective
Whether only in combination with benzodiazepines or not I can't say because, as noted, social anxiety isn't my bag

Best wishes to you x

Thanks peri

Yeah I dunno what it would be

I hear their words and hear my name and think they're talking bad about me

But, the fact that I'm able to question it or try to make it stop probably means social anxiety

I'm guessing.....

stef
02-07-14, 07:05 PM
bella i have no idea but i'm happy that you've gotten some advice :grouphug:

BellaVita
02-07-14, 07:09 PM
Are you taking anything that increases dopamine (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1349300&postcount=3)? Are you anticipating both good\rewarding things, like feeling inspired\enthusiastic to do things and with an increased libido, and bad things more, like as in does it seem like there's a greater chance of bad things happening, and things feel like they have more to do with you? Do things seem more intense and significant?

Care to list the meds that you take now and have taken recently?

You're bipolar two, right?

I have no idea?

Sure:
Adderall IR 20mg x 2 a day (need to pick up refill - out)
Clonazepam 0.5mg x 2 a day (need to pick up refill - out)
Lexapro 5mg
Trazodone 100mg

Today I didn't take Adderall or Clonazepam due to the reasons in bold.

***Edit - Not refill, doc gave me scripts for the next month.

BellaVita
02-07-14, 07:24 PM
Oh yeah, soup - My last pdoc (most recent) said that I likely have "mild bipolar" he was thinking type 2.

...But idk sometimes I think it may be type 1.

But what do I know.

avjgirsijdhtjhs
02-07-14, 07:42 PM
I hear their words and hear my name and think they're talking bad about me

But, the fact that I'm able to question it or try to make it stop probably means social anxiety

NOT social anxiety! TRUST ME, just because you can rationalize (and all the knowledge in the world about how this stuff works, and all the attempting to decrease the paranoid thoughts by rationalizing that things aren't really about you, and that is just (:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:) heightened salience won't be enough to keep you from killing someone and eating their heart and brain or face, or shooting at cars, or going on a sheer terror super ridiculously over the top extreme TERROR\RAGE rampage, or cutting out your intestines and flinging them at police if salience is too high - YOUR RIDICULOUSLY OVER THE TOP INTENSE EMOTIONS WILL OVERRIDE YOUR ATTEMPTS TO RESTRAIN YOURSELF BY TRYING TO TELL YOURSELF THAT "it's just the salience, it's just the salience") that things in your environment are not about you does NOT mean it isn't true excess mesolimbic dopamine causing increased salience and resulting paranoid thoughts that are you trying to rationalize the heightened significance of everything. What you are talking about is with almost one hundred percent certainty excess salience from the benzo withdrawal. Here's why.

Okay, read:

Mesolimbic dopamine mention number one: read this post (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1594452&postcount=91) and my next two posts in the thread, and read the links in my post that's two posts down from it.

mesolimbic mention two (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=157750)

Okay, now read this!!!:

Benzodiazepines are known to decrease the dopamine turnover in the mesolimbic dopaminergic system in stimulated rather than in basal conditions. Stimulation of dopamine turnover can be achieved by administration of the dopamine antagonist haloperidol. In the present paper, we tested the hypothesis that the effect of the benzodiazepines on the mesolimbic dopamine turnover is mediated by the benzodiazepine receptor, comparing the minimal potency of inhibition of the stimulated dopamine turnover with the ED50 values for the sedative and muscle-relaxant actions of the compounds. Five compounds were studied: desmethyldiazepam, lorazepam, flunitrazepam, triazolam and brotizolam. In contrast to the other compounds, lorazepam appeared to have no effect on the haloperidol-induced increase in DOPAC concentration. The relative potency of the benzodiazepines for this effect on the haloperidol-induced DOPAC increase is very different from that on sedation and muscle relaxation, suggesting that the effect on the mesolimbic dopamine turnover is not mediated by the classical benzodiazepine receptor. Since the background of this study was the relation between the dopaminergic effects and the development of psychotic symptoms during benzodiazepine withdrawal, this different pattern of the benzodiazepines is suggested to be an indication that benzodiazepines may differ qualitatively in the development of withdrawal symptoms after long-term treatment.
(http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8185409)
With almost one hundred percent certainty, you are experiencing heightened salience from the benzo withdrawal. Stuff stands out more and seems more intense and more significant and more sinister. You pay more attention to things, and have more goal directed behavior, like as in seeking out rewards and avoiding potential danger. Things seem\FEEL like they have more to do with you and things seem\FEEL like they have more meaning. It seems to you that the things you do stand out more to other people and are more audible to them and they are paying more attention to you, when ironically, IT'S YOU PAYING MORE ATTENTION TO THEM AND THINKING THAT THEY ARE DOING THE SAME.

Stay off caffeine and nicotine and ADD stims until you get back on that benzo, and obviously, get back on it ASAP!

Also, you might find that L-Arginine decreases the salience and paranoia, because it increases prolactin, which decreases dopamine...

BellaVita
02-07-14, 08:08 PM
Wow thanks so much for the useful post, soup! :)

Yeah, my boyfriend is coming Monday to take me to get my meds.

Hopefully I can hold out that long.

peripatetic
02-07-14, 08:25 PM
If bp2 why no mood stabilizer? I agree with soup taking anti depressants and stimulants and being bp without mood stabilization is not a good idea. If the benzodiazepines were providing some buffer


Her your refills ASAP and maybe ask your prescribing physician about getting your mood stabilized or getting a second opinion on your bp medications

Good luck

BellaVita
02-07-14, 08:52 PM
Yeah I was supposed to get refills already but boyfriend's car broke down

I wasn't able to get stabilized cuz of the escape from the situation

He was worried about the Lexapro. (Pdoc)

I've already tried some mood stabilizers, but they sucked

mctavish23
02-08-14, 12:38 AM
Well, if it was US who were talking about you, what would We say ? :D

Exactly :yes:

u r welcome :cool:

BellaVita
03-17-14, 10:18 AM
here I am again, off my meds and every second feels like someone is talking about me.

I feel like I'm going crazy

I can't even block the noise out cuz I dropped my phone in water and it's in a rice bag.

ahhhhhh

stef
03-17-14, 10:46 AM
:grouphug: oh no...

I thought I did something terrible,earlier (I don't think so anymore though) then thought my collegue, thought I was sulking...we were both just busy. I am having a weird day.

BellaVita
03-18-14, 09:22 PM
So, I basically spent the whole day locked in my room with headphones on.....

It helps, a bit.

Although sometimes I think I hear twisted words beyond the headphones....

avjgirsijdhtjhs
03-18-14, 09:43 PM
Ideas of reference. That's the name for it. Been doing some reading on schizophrenia lately, and saw the term.

avjgirsijdhtjhs
03-18-14, 10:56 PM
Is your acoustic startle reflex up much? Small amount? Medium amount? Large amount and you're really struggling to keep from panicking because things that aren't very loud stand out a lot and everything you hear is really hectic and rushed and serious and sinister and feel like they are directed at you and trigger the fight-or-flight response and so maybe you're not resting your hands one the keyboard and mouse?

BellaVita
03-18-14, 11:07 PM
Is your acoustic startle reflex up much? Small amount? Medium amount? Large amount and you're really struggling to keep from panicking because things that aren't very loud stand out a lot and everything you hear is really hectic and rushed and serious and sinister and feel like they are directed at you and trigger the fight-or-flight response and so maybe you're not resting your hands one the keyboard and mouse?

Acoustic startle reflex...I'll have to google that later.


Yes I'm panicking almost constantly

Bf can tell there's something wrong with me. I can't stand anything....

I seriously think people are talking about me they're just not telling me

BellaVita
03-18-14, 11:08 PM
I think it's withdrawals...

Every time I have withdrawals, I have this.

I also have tons of nightmares, I wake up like once an hour.

(all happen when I am paranoid and can't sleep)

(but, gonna attempt sleep now. feeling depressed. catch you later)

avjgirsijdhtjhs
03-18-14, 11:17 PM
Yikes. So this is serious. Like not mild. ****. No advice really.

mrs. dobbs
03-19-14, 12:18 PM
Hugs.