View Full Version : NTs don't get it


BellaVita
02-25-14, 05:52 AM
They just don't get it!!!!!!!!!!

My life is on hold until I'm on a mood stabilizer.

How is it so difficult to understand?

I've told them, given them information(about bipolar),communicated EXACTLY what's going on, they STILL expect things out of me THAT I CAN'T DO

:mad:

So tired of this and want stabilization

dvdnvwls
02-25-14, 06:01 AM
There are people in the world who actively choose to misunderstand. It's beginning to sound as if that's what you're up against. I sincerely hope not.

Abi
02-25-14, 07:47 AM
:goodpost:

My mother is like this.

Fraser_0762
02-25-14, 08:08 AM
They misunderstand you. You misunderstand NTs.

It's the same old story of "us vs them".

BellaVita
02-25-14, 08:48 AM
They misunderstand you. You misunderstand NTs.

It's the same old story of "us vs them".

Probably right.

But it's not us vs them.

NTs just happen to be the people of which I'm having conflicts.

BellaVita
02-25-14, 09:21 AM
Fraser, can you elaborate on how this is an "us vs them" scenario?

stef
02-25-14, 09:24 AM
OMG...
for example my mom is pretty much NT - but once I finally explained HOW things can be difficult for me (and that I really wasn't just being childish and indecisive), she really made a huge effort to understand.
I assume these people are kindly looking after you, and they really JUST DON'T GET IT...

BellaVita
02-25-14, 09:30 AM
OMG...
for example my mom is pretty much NT - but once I finally explained HOW things can be difficult for me (and that I really wasn't just being childish and indecisive), she really made a huge effort to understand.
I assume these people are kindly looking after you, and they really JUST DON'T GET IT...

That's cool. That's really nice of her.

They are letting me stay, not "kindly" looking after me.

More like, I'm on my own here suffering trying to get a pdoc and earn money and when I offer to explain, and when I am kind, they seem to deliberately throw away the information or thought that I'm not failing morally or choosing to be this way - like seriously, why would I want to choose to be this way?

PS - I don't mean *all* NTs, just specific ones I've been dealing with.

Fraser_0762
02-25-14, 10:05 AM
Fraser, can you elaborate on how this is an "us vs them" scenario?

We're very defensive against people who don't understand ourselves. There is no real NT. Everybody is different in their own way.

There is no right or wrong way of thinking. Because every thought a person has is independent.

There's really nothing "to get". It's just your way of thinking, conflicting with somebody elses way of thinking. Neither of you are right or wrong.

meadd823
02-25-14, 10:31 AM
We're very defensive against people who don't understand ourselves. There is no real NT. Everybody is different in their own way.

There is no right or wrong way of thinking. Because every thought a person has is independent.

There's really nothing "to get". It's just your way of thinking, conflicting with somebody elses way of thinking. Neither of you are right or wrong.


There is nothing to get - hmm to each his/her own reality

The discussion is written from a specific perception - some either "get it" = understand , sympathize, emphasize the same perception as the OP or they to simply do not have any way to connect to the experience as it is described in this thread.

I also do not believe in a universal right or wrong but I do understand there is an individual one, which differs according to each individual.

I think the OP is struggling with those in her life comprehending the notion that she IS already doing the best she can.

I do not see the benefit of having her repeat the same experience here.

There are many "us" versus "them" in the world as groups formulate their own perception or fail to comprehend another groups perception. Some of this is purposeful for others it is not - I do not think the OP is purposefully failing to comprehend the other people's point of view.

I read her as saying she is frustrated with the way things are going between her and the people she is living with because a general consensus of realistic expectations does not seem possible at this point in time.

Please excuse me if I misread your post - I am supposed to be getting ready for work and I have not had my first cup of coffee so misunderstanding on my part is possible.

daveddd
02-25-14, 10:59 AM
whats with this were all different ********

no ******* kidding

but you're either mentally ill or your NOT, thats pretty simple, no in between

bella is there a low income hospital in the area , you should easily qualify for free help, especially for bipolar

their usually tough for ADHD meds , but not bipolar

BellaVita
02-25-14, 01:08 PM
whats with this were all different ********

no ******* kidding

but you're either mentally ill or your NOT, thats pretty simple, no in between

bella is there a low income hospital in the area , you should easily qualify for free help, especially for bipolar

their usually tough for ADHD meds , but not bipolar

Agreed. :goodpost:

no idea, we are out in the boonies

That would be great, though.

Rebelyell
02-25-14, 01:12 PM
Nope and they are never gonna get it hon.

fracturedstory
02-25-14, 11:15 PM
I think after having things explained to them properly they can begin to understand what you're dealing with and go a bit easy on you. NT's might not be able to experience what we go through but they can ta least empathize, if they gave it some effort.

NT's don't have bipolar, if they did then this society would be a complete mess. That's why we take medication, not just for ourselves but to protect other people as well.

I understand that it's hard for them to always be able to have patience with someone living with bipolar, as I live with a sister with bipolar who refuses to medicate and it sets my own symptoms off and I just find it better to barricade myself in my bedroom or get out more. I can't always keep it together as well.

I think it's hard for both sides.

sarek
02-26-14, 03:27 AM
I think the hardest part is when inability to do(or not do) is interpreted as unwillingness to do. That is when a symptom is mistaken for a character flaw. This is familiar territory for both bipolar and ADHD.

dvdnvwls
02-26-14, 04:46 AM
Symptoms being mistaken for character flaws comes in at least two varieties:

- Initial mistaken belief, followed by experience, recognition, re-evaluation, understanding, and lasting change of belief.

- Initial mistaken belief, enshrined as a prejudice and immune to facts.

There are people who never exercise their own morality, who get all their morality from a book or other source external to themselves. (It doesn't matter which source, the effect is the same). Using external principles as a source for morality (rather than using those principles as general guidelines only) leads inevitably to prejudice and immorality.

In other words, moral codes are always immoral when taken literally.

I think it's a major source of prejudice against people with mental disorders.

BellaVita
02-26-14, 05:33 PM
I think the hardest part is when inability to do(or not do) is interpreted as unwillingness to do. That is when a symptom is mistaken for a character flaw. This is familiar territory for both bipolar and ADHD.

Yep, and today I can't do crap.

I know my reputation must be ruined.

I feel like giving up.

I haven't hardly slept in days.....days and days....can't focus enough to do anything that needs doing....and now exhausted and don't have energy to even properly care for myself.

Losing weight fast too....

I just want to live alone. I feel humiliated, incompetent, angry......

BellaVita
02-26-14, 05:35 PM
Oh right, past 3 ish days rage episode things have decided to come up.

Like, what the freak?

Uncontrollable too. It's scary.

I haven't felt this out of control since...like last year or something

Stevuke79
02-26-14, 05:45 PM
It's tragic and it's really unfair. I'm sorry Bella.

What's worse is they really think they understand. They can understand blindness to a degree when they close their eyes; it stands to reason that they can understand depression when they themselves have felt depressed. But it's not the same thing at all.

sarek
02-26-14, 05:56 PM
Yep, and today I can't do crap.

I know my reputation must be ruined.




As for reputation, do a sarahsweets on them.

Fraser_0762
02-26-14, 05:57 PM
whats with this were all different ********

no ******* kidding

but you're either mentally ill or your NOT, thats pretty simple, no in between

bella is there a low income hospital in the area , you should easily qualify for free help, especially for bipolar

their usually tough for ADHD meds , but not bipolar

So lets say 50% of the people you know tell you that you're mentally ill, but the other 50% tell you that you are not.

Are you mentally ill or not?

Our lives are limited by our own perceptions. The only opinion that holds any real value in your life is your own opinion. Because it's our own opinions that define who we are as people, not other peoples opinions.

It doesn't matter if another person considers you to be mentally ill or not, the only point of view that can determine if you are or not, is your own point of view.

Stevuke79
02-26-14, 05:59 PM
The only opinion that holds any real value in your life is your own opinion.
This!

dvdnvwls
02-26-14, 06:04 PM
What's worse is they really think they understand. They can understand blindness to a degree when they close their eyes; it stands to reason that they can understand depression when they themselves have felt depressed. But it's not the same thing at all.

Ugh. Steve, that's a terrible thought, really. (Not criticizing you at all, just my feelings about the thing you said.) Understanding, and yet making the same choices as if not understanding. I hope not.

People not understanding frustrates me. OK, we'll get through it somehow. But the idea of people understanding and then choosing to act as if they didn't, just makes me want to puke. Like I said, I really hope not.

dvdnvwls
02-26-14, 06:07 PM
Yep, and today I can't do crap.

I know my reputation must be ruined.

I feel like giving up.

I haven't hardly slept in days.....days and days....can't focus enough to do anything that needs doing....and now exhausted and don't have energy to even properly care for myself.

Losing weight fast too....

I just want to live alone. I feel humiliated, incompetent, angry......
:grouphug:

Stevuke79
02-26-14, 06:08 PM
I understand what you mean Dvd. But what I meant was they don't actually understand at all. They think they understand. And what's more, they have very good reason to think they understand. But they don't.

BellaVita
02-26-14, 06:14 PM
I understand what you mean Dvd. But what I meant was they don't actually understand at all. They think they understand. And what's more, they have very good reason to think they understand. But they don't.

It doesn't matter anymore if they understand or not.

What *should* matter is the external/visible appearance of me declining....

Should cause them to ask questions.

And compare it to my normal character and see I'm not just doing this to make an a** out of myself

BellaVita
02-26-14, 06:16 PM
Then again, maybe that's asking for too much.

I just thought people in general weren't so blind and ignorant.

BellaVita
02-26-14, 06:19 PM
You know what, I think people *may* be smart enough, maybe they see what's happening.

And they're choosing to dismiss.

(perhaps cuz it's all inconvenient)

Anyway, I don't know. I'm not them. Maybe they care a whole lot and think leaving me alone and not offering help is the best help they can give......

Fraser_0762
02-26-14, 06:23 PM
People are neither blind or arrogant. They just happen to have their own mind and their own way of percieving things.

If somebody looks at you and doesn't see the problems that you see in yourself, then you're going to have to accept that. Because you can't make a person see past their own mind, just as you can't see past your own mind.

Stevuke79
02-26-14, 06:23 PM
What *should* matter is the external/visible appearance of me declining....

One would think. But then again, I'm pretty cynical,.. Most people are shyt.

And compare it to my normal character and see I'm not just doing this to make an a** out of myself

You mean they should use their reasoning to not pass judgement and feel superior? You must be confused,.. These are human beings we're talking about, right? Don't they do the exact opposite? You be thinking of another species.

Lunacie
02-26-14, 06:26 PM
Oh right, past 3 ish days rage episode things have decided to come up.

Like, what the freak?

Uncontrollable too. It's scary.

I haven't felt this out of control since...like last year or something

Well, you've uprooted yourself and travelled across several states,

ending up in a strange new situation with strange new people.

Of course it's difficult.

These new people don't know you yet, haven't really given you time to adjust,

and have expectations about you that aren't based on who you really are.

You need some time to find your balance again, to just breathe, to just be you.

And you need a good doctor. :)

Stevuke79
02-26-14, 06:27 PM
People are neither blind or arrogant. They just happen to have their own mind and their own way of percieving things.

If somebody looks at you and doesn't see the problems that you see in yourself, then you're going to have to accept that. Because you can't make a person see past their own mind, just as you can't see past your own mind.

I think you're over applying that concept. We're all limited by our minds.. but that only excuses you for so much. It's still ignorance and arrogance when you don't realize there are things beyond your own mind.

BellaVita
02-26-14, 06:30 PM
People are neither blind or arrogant. They just happen to have their own mind and their own way of percieving things.

If somebody looks at you and doesn't see the problems that you see in yourself, then you're going to have to accept that. Because you can't make a person see past their own mind, just as you can't see past your own mind.

I'm gonna have to disagree with you on that.

What you described in bold is an example of blindness.

It's not about accepting, that's not what the topic is about. It's about freakin' caring for myself before I end up somewhere I don't want to be.

I can't make anyone, right. I can offer ways of helping them understand, like providing resources and be open and honest with them...but I can't control whether they choose to accept that or not.

I'm not trying to control whether they accept that I have mental issues.

Also, I said ignorant. Which is basically, by definition, what their actions have described.

BellaVita
02-26-14, 06:34 PM
One would think. But then again, I'm pretty cynical,.. Most people are shyt.



You mean they should use their reasoning to not pass judgement and feel superior? You must be confused,.. These are human beings we're talking about, right? Don't they do the exact opposite? You be thinking of another species.

No, I didn't mean that.

I meant, that my behavior as of late is an inconsistency, which I thought was such a stark contrast they'd be able to pick up on it.

Fraser_0762
02-26-14, 06:36 PM
I think you're over applying that concept. We're all limited by our minds.. but that only excuses you for so much. It's still ignorance and arrogance when you don't realize there are things beyond your own mind.

It's ignorant/arrogant from your perspective. But does that make it ignorant/arrogant from everybodies perspective?

No it doesn't. But it won't stop you from thinking that it is, because you can't see beyond your own mind.

BellaVita
02-26-14, 06:36 PM
PS - thanks for all the support you guys.

Really.

Fraser_0762
02-26-14, 06:41 PM
I'm gonna have to disagree with you on that.

What you described in bold is an example of blindness.

It's not about accepting, that's not what the topic is about. It's about freakin' caring for myself before I end up somewhere I don't want to be.

I can't make anyone, right. I can offer ways of helping them understand, like providing resources and be open and honest with them...but I can't control whether they choose to accept that or not.

I'm not trying to control whether they accept that I have mental issues.

Also, I said ignorant. Which is basically, by definition, what their actions have described.

Ignorant may have a definition, but how it's applied to each individual situation is entirely down to a persons perspective on the situation.

I don't agree with you that these people are being ignorant. But that doesn't make me right and you wrong, just as it doesn't make you right and me wrong. We just view the same situation in a different way.

Making a person "understand" something, means nothing more than changing their own perspective to match your perspective. It doesn't determine whether that perspective is right or wrong, because thats impossible. They'll always be people who disagree, no matter how right you think you are about something in your own mind.

Stevuke79
02-26-14, 06:42 PM
No, I didn't mean that.

I meant, that my behavior as of late is an inconsistency, which I thought was such a stark contrast they'd be able to pick up on it.

Oh yeah, I think I understood what you meant. You're saying they should realize that you don't normally behave this way and see that this isn't your character.

I was just saying that if they realized that, they couldn't pass judgement and feel superior. was just trying to be funny about it.

Canadian Mess
02-26-14, 06:46 PM
They just don't get it!!!!!!!!!!

My life is on hold until I'm on a mood stabilizer.

How is it so difficult to understand?

I've told them, given them information(about bipolar),communicated EXACTLY what's going on, they STILL expect things out of me THAT I CAN'T DO

:mad:

So tired of this and want stabilization

This! This is exactly how I feel until I can get my anti-depressant prescription (and my ADHD meds) filled. When people ask me what's wrong, I just give up and say "what do you think is wrong? Same as usual." Meaning I STILL have ADHD and depression it's not like it disappeared since the last time they asked. I wonder if I am talking to brick walls, no, ADHD and depression aren't viruses- I take a pill and all it does it make them less noticeable doesn't cure it. NTs suck sometimes, and they think my memory is bad???

Stevuke79
02-26-14, 06:46 PM
It's ignorant/arrogant from your perspective. But does that make it ignorant/arrogant from everybodies perspective?

No it doesn't. But it won't stop you from thinking that it is, because you can't see beyond your own mind.

Right - from my perspective. That's the perspective I'm interested in. If someone can't see that they don't know everything - that's a character flaw. Ignorance, arrogance.

It may not be a flaw from their perspective - but to me that's just academic.

Fraser_0762
02-26-14, 06:54 PM
Right - from my perspective. That's the perspective I'm interested in. If someone can't see that they don't know everything - that's a character flaw. Ignorance, arrogance.

It may not be a flaw from their perspective - but to me that's just academic.

Just as academics are based on perspective.

Knowledge can't exist beyond the mind. Minds are individual. Therefore universal knowledge (knowledge outwith the mind) can't possibly exist.

There's a reason you can't exist in this world without your mind. It's because the world that you know exists in your mind and can't possibly exist without it.

Stevuke79
02-26-14, 06:57 PM
Just as academics are based on perspective.

Knowledge can't exist beyond the mind. Minds are individual. Therefore universal knowledge (knowledge outwith the mind) can't possibly exist.

There's a reason you can't exist in this world without your mind. It's because the world that you know exists in your mind and can't possibly exist without it.

We don't disagree. When I say something - that's the view from my mind.

Their mind has a different view - and from my perspective they are flawed. From their perspective they are not - well bully for them!! My opinion is the one that counts.

Lunacie
02-26-14, 06:57 PM
There are at least a couple of kinds of ignorance.

There's plain old ignorance, and then there's willful ignorance.

The first is where you haven't ever been exposed to some idea and are ignorant of it.

The second is where you've been told about the idea but refuse to learn anything.

I think I know which one Bella's friends are showing here. :rolleyes:

dvdnvwls
02-26-14, 06:59 PM
Denying another person's honest experience is ignorant and arrogant in an absolute sense, not in a relative sense.

Fraser_0762
02-26-14, 07:07 PM
Denying another person's honest experience is ignorant and arrogant in an absolute sense, not in a relative sense.

Nothing is absolute. If it were, it would be universally agreed upon.

The fact that you can disagree with anything, proves that nothing can be absolute.

BellaVita
02-26-14, 07:17 PM
Can we like....stop debating over word definitions.... :rolleyes:

BellaVita
02-26-14, 07:20 PM
Meaning I STILL have ADHD and depression it's not like it disappeared since the last time they asked.

This. :goodpost:

BellaVita
02-26-14, 07:23 PM
Denying another person's honest experience is ignorant and arrogant in an absolute sense, not in a relative sense.

:goodpost:

Yep.

Fraser_0762
02-26-14, 07:24 PM
Nothing in the universe is absolute, because the universe itself doesn't contain any knowledge. All knowledge is contained within the individuals mind. And because each mind is individual, knowledge is also individual.

What's "absolute" in my mind, may not be "absolute" in your mind.

Stevuke79
02-26-14, 07:32 PM
Can we like....stop debating over word definitions.... :rolleyes:

Bella, stop interrupting .. This is serious stuff we're debating here!
(Totally totally kidding.)

dvdnvwls
02-26-14, 07:40 PM
Nothing in the universe is absolute, because the universe itself doesn't contain any knowledge. All knowledge is contained within the individuals mind. And because each mind is individual, knowledge is also individual.

What's "absolute" in my mind, may not be "absolute" in your mind.
That's just it. You've made my point.

daveddd
02-26-14, 07:54 PM
wait... so like i might not really be me?

Rebelyell
02-26-14, 08:15 PM
I don't get most people ,Here you'd think if anyone got it it would be nts but they lack something ,wether it be compassion common sense don't care or all 3.Im tired a lot and Im sure some of its due to my diet and lack of exercise,some of it the meds and the other end of it to depression.Anyway Guys will ask me at work why Im always tired I explain and there like ahhh that explains a lot but amazingly like a week or 2 later there asking me why are you tired ,or how can you be tired.Ill just be like ******* forget IT already! DO you NOT get it?!! Were you listening to a freaking thing I said to you last week?! GAHHH!

BellaVita
02-26-14, 08:22 PM
Sorry to hear, reb.

If they don't get mental illness, they won't understand that it doesn't go away.

Rebelyell
02-26-14, 09:29 PM
Ermm uhh yeah no it doesn't.

BellaVita
02-26-14, 09:38 PM
Boyfriend is being very helpful.

Rebelyell
02-26-14, 09:45 PM
Its much harder to deal w when one doesnt have a good support system to help you..

dvdnvwls
02-26-14, 09:45 PM
Boyfriend is being very helpful.

That's excellent. I'm glad to hear it.

This doesn't mean he gets it. Helpful and getting it are completely different.

dvdnvwls
02-26-14, 10:23 PM
To put that in a more-specific way: The massive relief that you feel when he becomes helpful can mask the fact that he hasn't changed his beliefs one bit. Don't mistake niceness for understanding; don't even mistake niceness for good will. Understanding bipolar is a very specific thing, and it does not come from being nice and helpful; it starts with completely believing you about what's going on. He can help without believing you.

Rebelyell
02-26-14, 10:40 PM
We here understand tho.Each time I get set back from depression it gets harder nharder to get back or wanna get back to where I was.Its like a drug addict each fall off the wagon equals 1 step closer to the point of no return n sobriety.sorry if I offended any one n not supporting drug use just comparing them alike.

Nicksgonefishin
02-26-14, 11:02 PM
(((BellaVita!)))

Rebelyell
02-27-14, 12:14 AM
Im starting to think unchecked mental health disorders and drug abuse can and will lead to suicide.We all know a lot of us self medicate or have had so in the past,in my opinion drug abuse and mental health/illness go hand in hand.

fracturedstory
02-27-14, 02:12 AM
Nothing in the universe is absolute, because the universe itself doesn't contain any knowledge. All knowledge is contained within the individuals mind. And because each mind is individual, knowledge is also individual.

What's "absolute" in my mind, may not be "absolute" in your mind.
Then there are like teachers and people who write books and stuff. And parents. People that share their knowledge and experience of the world.

I went from a few years ago having hardly any theory of mind to now having some level to emapthise with people. I might not be very quick at it but it comes eventually, and sometimes I shown more empathy than people who think I'm not even capable of it (non-autistic, NT etc).

So let me see if I can begin to empathise with Fraser.



This will take some time.

meadd823
02-27-14, 03:44 AM
I think Bella is looking for support NOT a debate -

First and foremost

She does not need to defend her right to feel the way she does.

If you agree Bella deserves a bit of respect and acceptance from a support forum feel free to voice your encouragement, understanding and any helpful tid bits regarding her situation in this thread.



If you do not agree that she deserves support and acceptance therefor you would rather debate theories of mind or whether or not there is such a thing as universal right or wrong by all means please begin your own thread!

I respectfully insist we remain on topic.

meadd823
02-27-14, 03:53 AM
Folks do not have to fully understand to lend a helping hand - The idea that he is trying should be considered meaningful.

There are many things I will never be able to comprehend but that does not mean I am unable to accept those whose experiences are different than my own.


Some times I do need to know what is helpful and what is not. . . .There are times people ignore those whom they do not know how to approach - not to be cruel but because they are clueless - as the title of this thread suggest.


Some time people do not know what they are doing to hurt you because they simply do not understand- Willfully ignorant or just plan ole ignorance out of lack of personal experience does not matter. What matters is whether or not they are willing to accept and respect your feelings.

stef
02-27-14, 04:04 AM
Bella I saw you wrote earlier, shyboy has been helpful
OK so you are not alone in this (we can't help you materially/logistically!)
I just wish we could though...

dvdnvwls
02-27-14, 04:22 AM
What matters is whether or not they are willing to accept and respect your feelings.
And, if it turns out they are not, what you do next.

BellaVita
02-27-14, 04:47 AM
You know what sucks?

In order to get my mixed episode treated, I have to further trigger it by planning, stressing, not sleeping(well, okay symptom), trying to find a psychiatrist, trying to earn money for a psychiatrist.

I'm a recipe for a disaster. :lol:

BellaVita
02-27-14, 04:49 AM
meadd823; you have been brilliant.

I sincerely appreciate your posts.

Thanks for speaking "for me" (you interpreted my stuff quite accurately)

@thanks to dvdnvwls and everyone else

BellaVita
02-27-14, 04:51 AM
I feel like crap.

More like brain in torment.

Depressed/anxious/energy/rage sometimes/raaaaacing thoughts/guilt/shame/

Idk why I'm writing that

Been dealing with suicidal ideation, not so bad now but it's been creeping up.

stef
02-27-14, 04:58 AM
the good thing, is that you KNOW you need a plan.

BellaVita
02-27-14, 05:00 AM
the good thing, is that you KNOW you need a plan.

Thanks. :)

meadd823
03-04-14, 02:11 AM
Now if only knowing a plan is needed can just be turned into actual planning - That I think has to be the suckiest part of all this those who are unable to go through the bureaucratic BS due to their condition to get help are the ones who likely need it the most.:(


The first part is to look on line to see if there is any publicly available mental health assistance in a million mile radius of where you are - Second is qualifications some of these thing can be done initially on line others will require the final and typically the most difficult part finding transportation.

meadd823
03-04-14, 02:22 AM
And, if it turns out they are not, what you do next.

I am assuming this is a genuine question so I will offer a legit and honest answer

Quit torturing one self by expecting it.

I for one am not in charge of other people's give a crap. Heck I can't even manage to keep up with my own a decent portion of the time.

Most importantly is to quit blaming ones self for other people's failure to give a crap. Their feelings and response are about them and their own perceptions but it is all to easy to take personal responsibility for how other people see us.

Fuzzy12
03-04-14, 04:39 AM
They just don't get it!!!!!!!!!!

My life is on hold until I'm on a mood stabilizer.

How is it so difficult to understand?

I've told them, given them information(about bipolar),communicated EXACTLY what's going on, they STILL expect things out of me THAT I CAN'T DO

:mad:

So tired of this and want stabilization

Unfortunately, there are too many people who don't understanding anything that doesn't fall into the narrow realm of their personal experience. I'm sorry that you constantly have to deal with them. It sounds like you've done everything you can to help them understand. If they still don't all you can do is to not let their unreasonable expectations get to you, which I know, is extremely difficult.

In general, I think, fully understanding another human being is nearly impossible but what I don't get is that so many people expect to fully understand something before they can show any consideration or compassion. I don't know what it's like to be blind but if someone tells me they are and tells me that it causes them certain impairments I wouldn't doubt them.

Mental health disorders are a double whammy in that way. First of all, you need to deal with the symptoms themselves and on top of that you need to deal with people doubting you. :(

Hope you can find a psychiatrist soon. Is there someone your old psychiatrist could recommend?

fracturedstory
03-04-14, 07:16 AM
Sometimes other people with bipolar (who deny their symptoms so much they think they have overcome them) don't get it too. But then they do when they're hypomanic.

sarek
03-04-14, 08:27 AM
I am assuming this is a genuine question so I will offer a legit and honest answer

Quit torturing one self by expecting it.

I for one am not in charge of other people's give a crap. Heck I can't even manage to keep up with my own a decent portion of the time.

Most importantly is to quit blaming ones self for other people's failure to give a crap. Their feelings and response are about them and their own perceptions but it is all to easy to take personal responsibility for how other people see us.

This, I have to admit, is what I am still to this day struggling with despite my almost scientific approach to self analysis.

But meadd is totally right about it. The world will not change. The world will not accommodate us. The world is not fair. To expect it to be fair is to get hurt.
Saying to oneself that "i suffered so much, or I did so much for others, I deserve a lucky break or understanding or compassion of whatever" is to take out a prescription for enduring torture.

And it gets worse, we can not even change ourselves unless we work very hard and very diligently for a long long time. Meanwhile, what is part of our 'substrate' (and things like bipolar or adhd are part of our substrate) can never be changed.

What can we change then? Only our perception. Only the way we look at ourselves and the way we look at the world.