Hey all you teens out there any advise on how to help a 2nd grader w/ their HW? I figured since you were there not oo long ago you might have some insite on what helped you. i'd appriciate it!!

--A worn out mom.

From one worn out mom to another...big hugs

Could you please give more specifics as to what areas your son is having trouble with? The reason I asked is because I told Koda he should post to this thread and he didn't know what you wanted to know for a 11 year old its a little bit of a overload.

Thanks
Cherity

p.s. Koda is my 11 yr old son who is also a member of this section.

I guess what helped them or what they wish their parents could've done to help them.
If you go to my post in parents --Homework battles-- you can read more.

Depends, I found the best thing my mom did for me when I was a kid, was leave me brain candy. Things like lego, books well above my age level, I didn't get interested in things unless they were challenging.

I'm talking HOMEWORK!!!


he's got all that kinda stuff --legos, knex, about a billion books,microscope, etc....

I'm not sure if Koda or Lexi appreciated it but their dad and I would wrap and tape little presents above their desks and if all homework was done for the week on time, they got to choose a gift on Friday when they completed their homework. After we started that program we had less fights on our hands.

Incentive has always worked well with our kids.

Hmmmm... I might have to go to the 99c store again..... I hate "buying" him but I hate the argueing even more!!

how are you Futs?

I'm exhausted, stressed, angry, hurting and keeping it all in like all good and proper ladies do. lol

I don't think of it as buying. I work outside the home, I get a paycheck for my deeds and hardwork, I get pay raises for a job well done. My kids' one and only job is school so they deserve pay and incentives for jobs well done.

Have you started a reading worm? It works great to get them to read. If you don't have one I'll get you the link to the page I posted one on in the Parents section.

And how are you doing today?

Perhaps doing his homwork with him, or gentle reminders. Incentives don't hurt :)

Hey Futs!! How are ya? work sux huh?

I've thought about it that way before, but then I think , " If I give him X for doing what he's supposed to anyhow, then what do give him when he does something he wasn't asked to do but did any ways?" I guess school work in my elementary days was just expected--no rewards. you know, "learning was it's own reward" kinda crap! ( I DID NOT get good grades so this backfired on my parents too):D



Thrill-- I DO do his homework w/ him--prob is he wants me to DO IT for him. I noticed however, that if I just observe from afar he gets more done than if I hover over him. Hard habit to break.

I'm in about to graduate from college, but I have 4 younger brothers (2 of which are in middle school) so this stuff's not that far behind me...

I HATED doing homework all the way up through high school and of course even now. I've gotten better at "just doing it" of course, but it's always a struggle. In elementry school I remember (vividly) sitting at the dining room table with 6 math problems in front of me. I would whine and cry and throw fits for HOURS without getting even one thing done. It was like I could stare at it if I wanted to, but the second I actually had to THINK I gave up and threw myself on the floor. I'm pretty sure I was still doing that pretty regularly even in 6th grade... and even NOW I sometimes just sit at my desk and whine for a good half hour (to myself) if I really don't want to read a book. I know that sounds terrible but it's absolutely true.

My mom tried EVERYTHING to help me and I've watched my brothers too... I feel her pain becuase I've tried to help them. I know that for myself personally, as soon as I got started on those math problems (fractions or whatever) I was usually fine. But I couldn't even convince myself to start becuase it all just seemed so unfair/hard/etc/etc/etc. I don't know why I felt that way becuase I was definately way above average in math (back then... heh) but somthing about sitting in a high-backed chair while are your friends are outside playing makes everything seem a whole lot harder.

I can tell you that someone helping me with my homework did help me a lot to break that initial "getting started" barrier - my mom used to do that with things like sorting laundry and dooing dishes with us too. Kids learn well by following examples - but of course you dont' want to actually do it for them or anything like that. Usually what my mom did was yell at me a lot for trying to leave the table, and if I threw enough fits she'd either come and help me get started or go in the office and shut the door. (which is pretty soundproof - when that door shut I knew it was serious)

When she helped me, it always made me feel a lot better- i think (looking back) that really what I wanted was some attention. Because after that she would say somthing like "see - you can do this! It's ok, and you'll be done in 10 minutes if you just sit down and do it. Then you can go outside!" but somehow I only believed it if she helped me get started on the stuff - if she said it when the sheet was still blank, I just felt like I didnt' know how to start. I think part of it is that those worksheets look overwhelming if you can't remember how to do the first problem.

On the flip side, if she went and shut the door, I would get all upset (she abandoned me!!) but if she didn't come out after about 5 minutes I would usually realize that I only had myself to rely on and would actually sit down to think about what I was trying to do. I think usually this tactic did work the best but I can't really remember. I remember there being a lot of times when I really didn't know how to start the first problems, and I really did need help.

I helped my little brother (8th grade) with his history over christmas break - he didn't really understand the concept of "reading" the chapter and looking for answers to the questions on the sheet. He would *always* tell me he'd read it and couldn't find it - I taught him how to skim a chapter (by reading titles, skimming for key words, etc) and that helped him a lot. But to teach him that, I had to SHOW him what to do and we practiced it on lots of questions he had on his sheet. That technique could be really valuable for him but he's still not doing well becuase my parents aren't enforcing the structure on him. (that's another story though) I think the most important factor is that "homework" is the SAME FORMAT all the time. The first time I experienced how great this is was in 10th grade history when we had to write liek 10 pages of "terms" for each chapter - one chapter per week - always due on tuesdays - and a chapter test every friday.

I didn't figure out that THAT was the schedule until like 4 or 5 weeks into the semester, but I know it definately helped me. ADD kids need time to figure out and adjust to routines so keeping hte routine the same (and making it really OBVIOUS what the routine is) helps a LOT. Of course that's really advice for teachers... i wish mine had done that.

--
anyway I thinkt he rewards system is a good idea - we've tried that in the past and I know it always worked well at first but we'd get bored of it fast and have to try somthing new. We definately kept our mom on her toes. I don't think it's like "buying" your child either - Kids (and ADD kids especially) are extrememly reward-driven - the more immediate the better. It's not at ALL the same as spoiling - spoiling is when the kid gets somthing for nothing. A reward is somthing they have to work at. The important thing is that they KNOW what the reward is in advance - no random "wow that was great, here's a reward." that teaches them how to work towards a goal and how to plan for what you want. Those are invaluable skills.

Anyway Futs I think you should definately encourage Koda to post here! his perspective is totally unique and after all that's what the teen area is for!

Thanks for such a great reply Christiana. Your p.o.v. was really insiteful. At first I thought I was reading my sons mind "...whine and cry and throw fits for HOURS without getting even one thing done. " That's what most nights are like.

I do try to make him do it when he gets home. I know that after being in school for 6 hrs that that's prob'ly the last thing he wants to do. But I've found that this is actually the best time for him. One thing he's "learned " to do is to go to a friends right after school & call & tell me he's there. It's his way of getting out of doing HW right after school.

The reward thing could work. I understand what you're both saying about that it's not really "buying" him, I'll just have to think of a way to make it work. He's "expensive", trinkets don't generally work for him. He wants trips to the arcade & such. I know that I could incorperate things like that somehow...

Have you ever been to http://www.schwablearning.com ? They have print outs with tips that might help.

Thanks, I'll take a look.

thanks, I'm glad my post helped a little! The thing about the rewards system is it doesn't have to be "things" - one thing my mom did was "go out to breakfast with mom" - where if you did good you got to go out to burger king with mom (just YOU and MOM, nobody else) and I always got the french toast sticks cuz those are the best - hehehe

It's not too expensive and actually it's a better reward anyway since a lot of kids really just want attention - for us that was extra special becuase there were 6 kids in our family, and having mom JUST talking to you was somthing nice.

Another idea is to do a "points" system - we tried this one with chores but it can work with homework too i think - we had a big poster on the wall and put up stickers on it for each point we earned. It alwasy broke down for us after a while, but it was usually becusae our mom kept forgetting to give us the stickers... It think it could be a big help in breaking down tasks also. (like: after each 5 math problems you get a sticker, or when you finish step 1 of your project then you get a sticker)

My two youngest brothers do that trick of going to a friend's house after school too... it's really terrible! Maybe you can ask their parents not to let your son come over after school? Of course if the friend's parents don't get home right away then that won't work out too well....

Yeah I hafta call his friend's mom & let her know tha he has to come home & do HW 1st. He knows that he can't be at someones house if no parents are there. That's one battle I don't have to fight!!! :D Yeah!!

Make sure they have all their homework written down so you can read it. Then follow these steps.

1. When they get home from school let them have an hour wined down time.

2. Send them to go and do their homework. Make sure you have a treat at the end eg. Get to watch tv, play game, eat choclate, get desert.

3. Check in regularly to make sure they are doing it.

4. Once they are finished read over their work and make sure they did it all and make sure it is correct because I used to slag of and just write any random answer.

5. Give them their reward and give them compliments. :) :) :)