View Full Version : I abused my concerta a few years ago and I need advice.


oddballito
03-05-14, 06:50 PM
A few years ago I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 25. I was prescribed 54mg of Concerta per day by my doctor, and I took that dosage for about 8 months as prescribed, daily. Everything was going great, I was feeling great, and I was seeing so many positive changes in my life.

Somewhere around the 9 month mark I began to feel like I was becoming tolerant to the medication. I had asked my doctor if she could increase my dosage, but she refused. So, for a few weeks I began to dabble in taking 2 x 54mg Concerta per day, and it seemed fine, which I quickly also became "used to". Now, at this point I think that I had lost sight of the medications purpose. Instead of seeing it as a tool to help me, I got lost in the "feeling" which upsets me to this day.

One night I decided to take 2 more than normal, which was 4 dosages in one day (maybe it was 3, I'm not sure). Anyways, I thought that I had timed the release of the others in my system, and figured I would be okay. About 10 minutes after I took it I instantly had this panic attack. I just felt so anxious and I that scared me to the point I called my friend and he gave me a bunch of milk and made me try and puke out the pills. I was freaking out, thinking I was going to have a heart attack or something.

I stayed up all night calming down, and I swore off any medication from that point on. That was about 3 years ago or so, and I have began to feel like I would like to take the medication again. For a few reasons, but I did recently lose my job due to "performance issues", and I just feel like that positives of the medication outweighed any negatives I felt (which were none, except my apparent abuse of them).

When I took too many that one time, it scared me enough to stop all together for years. I am older now, not sure about wiser, but I'm struggling internally as to whether or not this is a good idea for me. I tell myself now that I will be responsible with the medication, which I whole-heatedly believe. Yet, I am also scared that I may have the potential for abuse again, which really bums me out because Concerta really did help me.

I have also be prescribed Adderall, but I did not like that drug one bit. Something about it felt "dirty' to me, the medication was not as smooth for me, and the highs and lows were too much for me to handle. I do have an appointment with a new Doctor tomorrow to discuss getting back on Concerta. I'm just not sure if I should do this again or not. As you can tell I am concerned about the possibility for abuse, but is it possible for someone who has misused medication to actually use it properly?

I wasn't doing it for "fun", or recreation. I just felt that my tolerance got the best of me, and I made a stupid decision. Maybe it did scare me straight enough to not do that again but I don't know. I feel... I feel like I let myself down. I feel like I let down others with ADHD by abusing the drug like so many college kids. I was so happy to finally get my diagnosis, get medication, and change my life. And then like some idiot I just... I let it get the better of me. And for that, I really am bummed out about.

sarahsweets
03-06-14, 06:36 AM
I dont believe everyone who has a period of taking more than prescribed is an addict. Yes its medication abuse, but sometimes like in your case, its done out of a need for better coverage and then it turns into a vicious circle. Would this be something you would want to share with your doctor? If not, is there someone in your life that could help you monitor it in the beginning, sort of like an accountability partner? Other than that you are going to have to practice some extreme self awareness. The minute you take even 1 dose out of your doctor's precribed guidelines you are going to have to stop the meds and reevaluate if concerta works for you. Sometimes people that take more than prescribed of one kind of medication wont do the same with another. Also since the methylphenidate class of drugs worked for you , maybe a short acting drug that you take every few hours from that same class of drugs would work like ritalin.

Stubby
03-06-14, 12:09 PM
Or possibly try Vyvanse first to see if it'll work? It's amphetamine, but it's almost imperceptible coming and going. And it's hard to abuse (though not completely impossible) because it's combined with the amino acid Lysine which has to be stripped in the gut by Trypsin before the amphetamine is released.

Abuse is possible by taking higher dosages, but as I understand, the gut can only process a limited amount of Lysine at any given time. So after an initial high, the rest of the amphetamine (because it still has the amino acid attached) gets diverted by the kidneys and washed out in urine.

I think it could really confound most diehard abusers. Just a thought anyway.

SirSchmidt
03-06-14, 08:54 PM
I admire the fact that you saw the problem and stopped it without continuing the abuse. Give yourself some credit for making the right choice in this matter.

First, forgive yourself. A mistake was made, but you took responsibility and owned up to it. The fact that you avoided going back to abuse tells me you weren't an addict, but were just looking for results.

I would explore treatment options again, and sarahsweets' idea of an accountability partner is an excellent one.