It will be really embarrassing as a moderator if we already have a thread on this, but I just couldn't find it. So,

how do we get along with others? How have we learned to cope so we look somewhat "normal" and "with-it" around Normals (non-Adders)? Or maybe we haven't really tried to look "normal" and have a take-me-as-I-am attitude. Still, if it's the latter, where did that confidence and peace about yourself come from?

How do we get along with our fellow Adders? Is it easier with the same gender than the opposite? Why or why not? Some of us are loners, according to another poll, can certain kinds of people help us come out of our shell?

I'd like to hear how we're all getting along in our relationships to others, whether it's our significant other, platonic friend, family, co-workers, or neighbors. What's been working (or not working) out there? This inquiring mind wants to know.

Personally, I get along with men ADD or not. Obviously there are certain personality traits other than ADD or without it that matter and determine this but I have noticed that with men it's not an issue.

However, aside from this forum, I don't get along very well with ADD women. Maybe we're fighting for the spotlight, or we both interrupt and interrupt each other (unlike here where it's one post at a time). You do all realize that in person we'd never be able to finish a discussion, right?

Now "normal" women, well, that gets tricky for me. On the plus side they can have a more steady approach to a conversation which I can follow and keep (somewhat) within those boundaries. However, if I'm having an especially brain-fartin' day I can appear to be completely nuts to them if they don't know me really well. I try to remember my manners and act like an adult, but there's something about the stuffy types that makes me act like a kid. They bring out the nut in me. The "normals" that know me don't mind me. They get an explanation and they're cool with it.

I can't put people in a box, there's more to relationships than any one characteristic. I just find it interesting that ADD women are more difficult. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, so have fun with the poll and move on if this thread does nothing for you. :)

p.s. you can vote for more than one thing

I work mostly with guys... ADD guys, I think. They're twitchy and fidgity and feel like family. They get off topic and switch gears so much. It cracks me up! :)
Girls that are high-strung are good too. Interestingly enough, I sometimes get impatient with other impulsive ADDers. I wonder if it's because I feel I have to squash my impulsivity (to fit in more :confused: ) and maybe I'm 'jealous' they're giving theirs free reign? It's an interesting thought.

I generally get along with everybody (although non-ADDers think I am strange, but I make them laugh, so that is OK)

So I really like ADD Women as a guy... I know I say it over and over :)

All my close friends are ADD dx'd or not... I have tried hard with non-ADDers but it just won't work :(

I have an "I am ADD! and I think it is cool" attitude. When I talk with ADDers... they are me and I am them... anyone else feel this?

I am female ADD, the only folk’s male or female add or not I have a hard time with are the uptight ones. Up until last year I had always been in sales so I got to interact with all sorts. One of my ADD strengths is intuitiveness, so I can get in sync with people quickly. Sales is a game and I can almost always "break through" their wall and find a comfortable place for them, and when they are comfortable they do drop their guard. It takes effort to do this, I must admit sometimes I will get "cranky" and not want to play (you have to follow all their rules) and if I am "myself" with these uptight folks they react with shock and horror, but boy is it fun!!!
Oh yeah, men with no respect for women leave me cold and uncomfortable, I can't even pretend or make an effort, actually I think they scare me, because I can't figure them out

This is really difficult, Chel. I'm rather like you, but am not sure my reasoning is the same. I get along well with most ADD males, and Non ADD males.

I "can" get along with my female ADD counter-parts, but I don't somehow think I fit:confused: . I look like a very girly girl in real life, but think more like the male "thinkers". I mean, I'm into PC's and Science, and all "head" things. Mushy is not me; but deep emotion IS. I just can't show it other than privately in PM or email.

Whereas female ADD'ers seem to mostly say they are tomboys [I cannot relate to Tomboy at all for me:confused: ]. They can act more funny and outgoing than I can, and I can have fun with them. I just cannot "be" like that.:(

BUT, I do have ADD female friends, just fewer of them than males. I'm not competitive, and perhaps that's a minus for me; I just don't try to compete for limelight that I don't want, and many ADD women appear to want it, and that's ok too. :)


Female Non ADD'ers? I can't stand the PMS they get. :eek: :eek: :D
I've tried to be as honest as possible. This was hard :)

I have always been better with males,regardless of ADHD being involved or not.
It isn't just because the things I like doing are a traditionally male dominated interest (energetic hobbies and computers),but I find males are a lot easier to speak to,in general,they are not manipulative,cocky and gossip about others like females do,I had so much problems trying to relate to the few females I did know that they put me off getting to know others of my gender.

I work with primarily with females. I honestly work better with females than male...go figure:D . I do work with one ADHD male and we seem to work great with each other, but honestly I can usually work with most anyone.

I seem to get on better with males in general rather than women. For similar reasons to Emma S above. Women often seem to be less straightforward to me than men.

I find that I get along with men who have a great sense of humor (AD/HD or not), and definitely AD/HD women, also with a great sense of humor, even if they look like supermodels on the surface. I only drive the methodical, anal, serious people 'nuts', but they drive me nuts back, so we're on an even keel!
It's too difficult for me to be in the company of others, with whom I have to constantly be on guard of some absurdity slipping out of my mouth, or getting into some completely serious discussion when I don't even know them well, and have no clue as to how my train of thoughts work. If I have to keep quiet, because I feel uncomfortable around anyone, I find some way to extracate myself out of that situation, because I start having an anxiety attack.
I'm most easy with those with a sense of humor, because then we can delve into any activity, or talk about anything.
Nova

Okay I am trying to digest all that was said. As a child it was easy to make friends...being in school and activities. I have never had a large number of friends...I think in reality afraid of rejection from others. I fear to trust and let others in. I do get along with almost anyone but when it comes to some men I have a hard time.

As a child I love to take ballet class up until 5 yrs ago. I loved to ride bikes and play with dolls I also was a girly girl but I was use to playing with the boys in our family since I have all cousins who are boys. I am very sensitive to the male voice and always have been so I shy away to really talking to them...may just on the surface like someone from church or on the bus .

I am working on learning how to deal with others since I have lead a very sheltered life due to being protecte by my parents. I hope this makes sense and is what ya are looking for. In general I do get along with others it just take me time to warm up to people.

I get along with people i work with, but supposidly not the ones i work with. This is what my boss tells me anyway. Does this sound right to u?

Does that mean you get along with your co-workers in general but on a one-on-one project you don't do as well?

I get along with most people, however, i get along better with men - ADD or not

I've been told I am not a team player :(. I don't like to rely on other people for anything. Anyone else like this?