View Full Version : Spirituality and the three kinds of love


sarek
03-16-14, 07:39 AM
This is some of what I have been working on. I have identified three ways, or perhaps "stages" of love. There is love as a passive feeling, love as an active doing and love as a state of being.

Love as a feeling is subconscious. It is not what we do, its something that happens to us when a number of factors click into place. Such love may lead to anything from a short and intense engagement to a lifetime commitment, but it is and remains a purely mechanical process. We do not love, love is doing us. Love is "doing a number" on us.

Love as a doing is semi conscious. Its like being half awake. This is the process of actively looking at oneself and analysing how you love, and where you find that you do not love. It is about sometimes finding out that what you thought was a loving action, was not.

Love as being is fully conscious. I can not say much of this, since it is a stage as yet beyond my reach.

meadd823
03-16-14, 11:55 AM
Love as a state of being - can this be described

See part of my spiritual walk is about acceptance or avoiding the act of self loathing

Self loathing for me has it's roots in unrealistic expectations - It is also where other loathing resides - When another fails to live up to expectations.

To think for a moment I can be in a state of constant love is to place upon myself an unrealistic expectation. I experience a variety of emotions some productive some unproductive some pleasant other not so but each an every emotions has it's place and it's purpose.

To be realistic for me is to also embrace that part of me that is unsavory - the portion of me that is predatory and destructive for those are also parts of me regardless of whether I like them or not. To fail to acknowledge them it to allow them to run underground and have them choose when to emerge and when to remain silent. Acknowledging them allow me to access them when they are necessary for protection.


To become state of being - well I am already there all that is left is the hard part = figuring out what to do with it.


Love in a worldly sense as one human being feels toward another or even as one human being feels for self first has to undergo the act of acceptance "warts and all". In the end love must entail a commitment -

You are talking about arriving at a state of being or acting, this sounds dangerously like a goal one must commit to. Part if this commitment should come with a definition so that you know when the goal has been achieved - Highly recommended is to make a goal any goal a specific realistic definition least one set oneself up for failure.


To make a goal that is unobtainable is to open up the doors to self loathing and what some would call the spiritual "slave mentality" where one never measures up and becomes a slave to an unrealistic ideology where a being is constantly expected to be that which is unobtainable. Some claim this works I shall not in this thread attempt to debate the point but I mention it merely as a possible depressive pit one can accidentally fall into.

Not sure if this helps harms or has you going :scratch: but thought I would throw it out there just the same.

sarek
03-17-14, 08:20 AM
Love as a state of being - can this be described

See part of my spiritual walk is about acceptance or avoiding the act of self loathing

Self loathing for me has it's roots in unrealistic expectations - It is also where other loathing resides - When another fails to live up to expectations.

To think for a moment I can be in a state of constant love is to place upon myself an unrealistic expectation. I experience a variety of emotions some productive some unproductive some pleasant other not so but each an every emotions has it's place and it's purpose.

To be realistic for me is to also embrace that part of me that is unsavory - the portion of me that is predatory and destructive for those are also parts of me regardless of whether I like them or not. To fail to acknowledge them it to allow them to run underground and have them choose when to emerge and when to remain silent. Acknowledging them allow me to access them when they are necessary for protection.


To become state of being - well I am already there all that is left is the hard part = figuring out what to do with it.


Love in a worldly sense as one human being feels toward another or even as one human being feels for self first has to undergo the act of acceptance "warts and all". In the end love must entail a commitment -

You are talking about arriving at a state of being or acting, this sounds dangerously like a goal one must commit to. Part if this commitment should come with a definition so that you know when the goal has been achieved - Highly recommended is to make a goal any goal a specific realistic definition least one set oneself up for failure.


To make a goal that is unobtainable is to open up the doors to self loathing and what some would call the spiritual "slave mentality" where one never measures up and becomes a slave to an unrealistic ideology where a being is constantly expected to be that which is unobtainable. Some claim this works I shall not in this thread attempt to debate the point but I mention it merely as a possible depressive pit one can accidentally fall into.

Not sure if this helps harms or has you going :scratch: but thought I would throw it out there just the same.

I am afraid it can not be described. I havent been there, so I would have no clue. It is not even possible to positively identify a person who has achieved this, since one can never see above the level of one's being.

This spiritual path is not for the meek. This is really serious hardcore self searching.
The seeker will find demons inside one after the other, and we will have to face each and every one of them, all the way to their lair, to where they have spawned.
A spiritual search is about as close to a dark night of the soul as it is possible to get. If you want to see how i often feel check out this song from Imagine Dragons : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhSA9H9Iaqw


There is only one thing that can help a seeker when undertaking this journey.

And that one critical, essential thing is total and complete

self forgiveness.


It is absolute and total absence of judgement.

If you find something within yourself that you do not like, that is judgement. That means that you are descending down to the level of what you do not like within and try to do battle with it. This is a losing proposition.

The only answer is to let go of judgement. Only observe. See where it goes. Do not resist, but accept. Learn to reconcile yourself with the darkest parts of you, because they have a right to be there also.

And also, stop thinking in terms of end goals and accomplishments. Stop thinking even in terms of definitions. In fact STOP THINKING altogether!
This is something I myself have found very hard to do also. I am constantly attached to outcomes. But I know that is also a false path that leads nowhere.

anotheradder
05-31-15, 09:36 PM
Eventually everything is gonna be alright, I know it for certain. Believe me.

Little Missy
05-31-15, 09:37 PM
Passionate love, compassionate love and companionate love.