I really hope someone can help me. I don't know where else to turn.
My daughter was just diagnosed with ADD her freshman year. She is now a sophmore. At the beginning of the year we met with the teachers to explain that she had this and to ask for minimal accomodations for her. We asked that if she needed additional time to turn in assignment to allow her and not to penalize her if she forgets to bring in her homework and turn it in late. Her life is go to school, come home, homework, bed, go to school. The weekends are doing homework too! The principle said that they don't have a program for a girl like her and that the teachers can chose weather or not to accomodate. Some of her teachers don't feel that she should get special consideration. It wouldnt be fair for other students and they continue to mark her down and give her F's. She plays softball and made her school team. The school puts out a weekly sheet to let coaches know if anyone is on the f or d list. If they are on the F list they cant play for a week. If on the D list they get a warning. Unfortunately, the day before the first game she was on the F list and cant play. She is devistated and I believe that she shouldnt be penalized because of her situation. I feel so bad for her and dont know what to do. I plead with the teachers but no luck. Any suggestions other than pulling her out of that school right now. Its in the middle of the year. I want to send her to another school who will care, however, I know as a junior, she will be devistated to have to start over in a new school. I could cry!!!! Help please....Victoria...Chicago Illinois

I am no expert on anything...just a 19 year old college freshman...

i was diagnosed in the 4th grade...and my schools NEVER knew about my ADD

in my honest opinion...she shouldnt be able to 'forget' her hw assignments, or get extended time...that really isnt fair!

if she has lots of friends there, and enjoys the school...please dont pull her out because of those reasons...

also, i just went to my school's students w/disablilities office...and it is a federal law that ADD kids get accommodations...but not as extreme as the ones you are asking for...

the only reason i went is because i need absolute silence on my test...and there was constant whispering (from my prof) and i cant handle that...and that is not fair for me to deal with


if she gets special accommodations now, then later on in life, its going to hurt her...she needs to learn to deal with her ADD...if she needs to put up huge notes on her wall reminding her to bring her homework, or do it...then thats what she needs to do!

this is all just my opinion...and i apologize if it came out harsh or wrong, because i dont mean it that way


congrats for her for making the softball team! :)

-Andrea

Andrea-

Thanks for the reply. My daughter is really struggling with this ADD. She forgets her homework and is late with it alot. Its not that she doesnt do her homework, she is allways doing it. I don't know how I can leave her in a school that she if failing in. One teacher wont even take her homework late. She is getting an F. I know that its not the real world, but she isnt doing things like other students. How do you get by in school? Any suggestions will help.

Thanks again-

Victoria :}

You said she was diagnosed last year? How was she doing before then?

that is unfair the teacher wont take it late...i agree with that

I really think the best bet is notes...reminders, all over the place

i am in a dorm, and have a roomate...and i cant wait till i get my own room next year, because i am too embarrassed to be putting up reminders all over the place, where she can obviously see them all


a big sign on her bedroom door (or wherever she can see it best) asking if she has her homework should help TONS...

i think i just got in the habit pretty early of always double checking if my hw was there...cuz this was rarely an issue for me (i was more likely to pull out a blank sheet, cuz i completely forgot to do it in the 1st place)

she just needs to constantly stop and think "is my hw in my bag?" and then physically check for it...it will become habit eventually...



Junior year is really important...colleges look at that one the most...she can definatly get a better handle on her ADD by then if she works hard at it...she cant let herself think "well, i have add, so its ok that i forgot my hw"...

i dont think switching schools is going to make her remember her hw, so in my opinion, unless its a better school, you shouldnt switch


i find that i do best when i can 'start over' ...when i got to college i was able to move in, and get settled...and i did really well my 1st semester...almost a 4.0...now, my room is insanely messy, and im slacking in school...what i need to do is clean up...re-organize my room, throw out all the crap that is building up, and with that, ill probably see my productivity increase...

i obviously have no idea how your daughter is in regards to that, but i find when i am setting a new goal for myself, i first need to get rid of all the other clutter in my life

hope that helps...feel free to ask more questions :)

Andrea-

She was diagnosed this past summer. She was failing every class her freshman year. She had to go to summer school and retake english, which she failed for the whole year and 1 semester of math.

She is very messy! Her room is very bad. I have helped her clean and then by weeks end its the same mess.

I'm encouraged that someone else is making it in school. You should be proud of yourself. I hope that my daughter can achieve even a fraction of what you have.

Thanks for the support.

Victoria

My suggestions are: (1) Keep your daughter in that school. If you take her out it only
teaches her to fun from hard things.
(2) Try an accordion folder such as the ones that lawyers use. She can put all homework in this folder under the class names and only have to remember to grab it each morning. (maybe put it with her purse)
(3) Speak with her regarding the rules of the classes. I know one mistake that I made with my AD/HD son was that I was always there to "fight". Maybe if I had let him fall on his face a few more times it would have been better. Your daughter knew of her responsibility regarding her grades when she went out for the team.
I, as a parent, know how devastating this is for you and your child, but, continue to support her and things will work out.
Good luck and lots of hugs to your daughter and yourself.

Your daughter can also make it in school :) and she will!

its so hard to give specific advice with so little info...see, as a kid, my parents used lots of negative reinforcement...if i got a bad grade....it wasnt pretty...

and im not telling you to do that!! but...there ARE no consequences to getting bad grades...then whats to stop her?

if she loves softball, and cant play because of her grades, that should be motivation for her to try harder, so she can play

her room sounds exactly like mine...i was never allowed to go out on weekends until my room was clean...and i still had to clean it every single friday because it was a pigsty by then...and i think it really rubbed off on me...the cleaner my room is, the more i get done...just how i work!



why is she doing poorly in school? is it mainly because of her assignments? or is she really not understanding the material? if its the latter, then i think thats a problem that needs to be dealt with differently


i do know that she can do it though :) she needs to know that too...

maybe she could join the boards as well to learn some more, and talk about what she is going through exactly.

I would be happy to talk to her about anything thats going on in her life ( i like to talk, and listen :) )

Good luck!!

Your daughter has my sympathy, It's at times like this that ADD is hardest to deal with.

I have lived in the same 'School -> Homwork -> Sleep... Ad infinatum' cycle as your daughter. It's incredibly demoralising.

From what you say, i dont think she can put any more effort in than she already is. Even if she wasn't i don't think it's a viable option in the long term. Getting her on track is one thing, keeping her there without her having a breakdown is quite another.

Is she medicated at the moment? I would say that adjusting her meds could help a lot.

Victoria,
Has your daughter been tested for a Learning Disability?

Thanks to all of you for your replys. Alexandra is on Concerta. She has been on it since the summer. She has been evaluated for learning disabilities. They say she didnt have one. At first they said that she was just lazy, until she was diagnosed with ADD. She has been punished alot! She was inelligible to even try out for the softball team last year and at least this year she didnt fail the last semester and was able to try out. I have her teachers fill out a weekly form to let us know if she is missing any assignment and if she is passing or failing. Most weeks I get the form from Alexandra, others she forgets and brings it home late. I have a binder that we labled each folder in it for each class for homework. It starts out ok and then we find math in the biology folder, biology in the english folder ect. She is a disorganized mess! Believe me, I just started fighting for her with the school. The past years Alexandra has been punished, no going out with friends, no birthday parties ect just trying to find things that motivate her. She says she is intent on playing softball this year. She even told me that her coach said that if she did well on her English test yesterday and if she got a note from her teacher she could practice over the easter break. She managed to get a c on the test and when she asked for the note the teacher checked with the principle and she said no, that she would have to wait till the next elligilble sheet came out which is in two weeks. So, I give her props for the effort!

I do have some advice that has worked well with both my children but I am ADHD myself and it will take me a second to organize my thoughts. I'll be right with you.

thanks :}:)

Viktoria you are right indeed that your daughter deserves props its too bad her school is unwilling to acknowledge just how hard she had to work to bring her grade up.

My first question is whether or not your daughter has had a full testing for ADD? This will not only tell you were she is at academically but also mentally. It's also the starting ground for a lot of IEP programs. You do have to be careful with IEP's neither of my children realize they have the option of doing half their work with extra time for one reason...they would jump at the easier work. It's my honest opinion that while IEP's may be beneficial in more extreme cases they can harm those who are or have the potential to be high functioning ADD. Getting your daughter tested will clue you into whether or not she is high functioning or barely functioning. And I've seen many members who are only hurt by their IEP's in a public format during their college years.

Are you ready? Cause I'm about to make your life crazy!!!

Your daughter is disorganized and as her mother you want to fix that for her but it honestly doesn't sound as if your daughter is putting her best foot forward. First thing your going to have to do is ask your daughter "do you really want to succeed in life or are you going to allow your disorder and everyone to hold you back?" If her answer is "yes I want a shot at a productive life" then your in for a hell of a ride if I may be blunt, your whole world is about to change adding to your own personal life headaches, stomachaches, frustration and endless bouts of hopelessness and failing. In the end you get a high functioning kid who can in fact survive a sometimes brutal world without your having to shield them at every step. So, here goes.

RESPONSIBILITY it is in fact your daughter's responsibility to take her lack of organization to task. She is at an age were she should be able to be more independant. Her room is her space...yes I agree, how it looks is a reflection in my honest opinion of how she views herself. So, lets start small...baby steps.
1.) Clean the room, throwing out anything that is no longer of value to her.
2.) Start a scrap book of movie tickets, cards and pictures that she has saved thru the years (I'm an ADHD girl myself so I know just how much junk we can accumulate).
3.) Place shelves on the walls for those things that are too big for a scrap book.
4.) Box away anything she can't bring herself to get rid of but doesn't look at any longer.
5.) If she doesn't already have a desk get her one. We got our daughters at a garage sale for $3 and it cost me two hours of sanding and her about 5 hours of painting and decorating to make it her own.

Ok hard part is done, take a deep breath and both of you need to go out and celebrate...lunch on the town? REWARDS!!!!!! even mommies deserve them.

Next step...Get your daughter a HUGE dry erase board and a smaller one. The small one is for her room responsibilities.
Monday--Put everything in its place
Tuesday--Vaccuum
Wednesday--Dust
Thursday--Change the sheets on her bed

note:We leave Fridays and Saturdays open for catching up when life gets in the way of cleaning and for just being a kid. Sundays are left open for catching up on homework, studying, getting ahead and family time.

Now your large dry erase board is going to be divided into sections for each class. This is a visual reminder, a very large visual reminder. What we do with this board is to write down assignments or approximate assignments that the teachers will be handing out for the week. This enables our children to get a head start on harder projects...reports, essay's, etc on high functioning days because there are just as many low functioning days as there are high ones. Request a meeting with the principle and teachers...let them know you are working on a new program to help your daughter take on more control of her life that you will need a weekly approximate assignment list (I've never met a teacher who didn't have a planner or the willingness to help, I do know that there are those out there just be firm if you have too). Write down all assignments on the board and your daughter is not to cross anything off without completing it or studying.

Our son was constantly finding his math work in his social studies folder or in his english book. We finally got his principle to allow him access to two lockers. We then color coded everything!!! His math work is in a red back pack, with a red binder, with a red notebook, with red pencils and pens (we went overboard but he was having fun finding matching stuff :rolleyes: ), Social studies is blue, English green, etc, etc. It's a lot to carry home but he hasn't forgotten or lost an assignement since we've implemmented the plan and it is what allowed him to bring his grades up from F's and D's to C's and B's in less then half a semester.

Carry thru is your daughter's responsibility...she will need guidance and gentle reminders but with consistancy comes habit. :D

REWARDS keep on hand little tokens to say I'm so proud of you, I noticed how hard you've been working and thought you might enjoy this. My daughter gets a kick out of funky fingernail polish colors and strange trinkets I find. I give them out of the blue and for no other reason then "Darn your a great kid and I'm proud of you". It is in my honest opinion everyone does better with incentive and acknowledgement for hard work. Your not going to tell me that you wouldn't clean a little more or work a little harder if your husband showed up with gifts every once in awhile to just tell you "smartest thing I ever did was marry you?" I would!!!! lol

In all things love your daughter (sounds like you've got that one down pat), talk to her, give her options and support. BE THERE. IMHO you've got the hard part down the rest will come with some work but she'll get there with your love and support.

Good luck from one mom to another.
Cherity

Dear Cherity-

Thank you soooo much for all the suggestions. We will be going out today to get the dry erase boards! I have found new hope here in this place.

Victoria

Aww don't thank me...thank the many members who made multiple suggestions to me...I'm only passing on what has been passed on to me. lol

I moderate the teen section of the forums and if your daughter would be interested please sign her up. Its sometimes hard for my son to bring life's issues directly to me instead he'll post them here and we get the support we both need and some really helpful ideas and creative problem solving solutions.

Cherity-

I will certainly sign her up! I hope that she will use this place for help as I do.

Have a great day-
Victoria

I have ADHD and my husband has ADD.

I went to a Catholic school for 12 years as did the rest of my family. My wish was to have kids and also send them to Catholic school (even though I knew it would put us behind financially.) This did not happen due to ADHD issues.

We first had our daughter and everything went smoothly. She is thriving in a Catholic school and is getting ready to start high school. She has signs of adhd and has reading comprehension difficulties like myself, but always gets honor roll. When I go to teacher conferences, every year I make sure I tell the teacher that add/adhd runs in our family and for them to please let me know if they notice any issues that I need to be made aware of. Usually they always say she's a chatter box and I tell them I was (and am) the same way. She is not yet medicated. We will play it by ear as we enter high school.

By son was born two years after my daughter. They are like night and day. He was diagnosed with adhd/ocd/mood disorders and was medicated early on due to majorly hyper. Kicked out of every daycare and preschool in the area. I enrolled him in Catholic school Kindergarten because they were "so caring" and "said" they understood. It was a different school than what my daughter went to because they "supposedly" had a Kindergarten teacher that was very familiar with adhd. (I thought there was hope.) Her familiarity was that she had a nephew that had it. Oh boy. Obviously she wasn't around her nephew much because she had no clue on adhd behavior. My son is a classic adhd child. It was only a half day Kindergarten so he started out going to their after school daycare. This did not last long at all since the daycare providers also had no clue on handling adhd kids. It was very frustrating. Since I had no where for him to go after the Catholic Kindergarten half day, I enrolled him in afternoon Kindergarten at the Public School. This seemed to work out since he only seemed to absorb half of what was going on anyway. Two half day Kindergartens helped.

It was time for graduation at the Catholic Kindergarten and they were practicing being angels in church. He thought it was stupid and would not cooperate. It ended up that he graduated a week early (so that they could get him out of their hair.) They called me and said: "His diploma is in his bookbag and we are going to call it a day". Whatever. I made it known to them and everybody that would listen, that they were not trained to handle adhd kids. It is a shame. He just didn't fit the mold of a Catholic school kid.

When he got a little older, we enrolled him in PSR (Public School of Religion) so that he could make his first communion. That too was a disaster. Classes were after dinner and of course, his medicines were in the process of wearing off. He spent every PSR class in time out. They finally said that if I want him to continue in PSR, I had to sit in the class with him. One night, when they were practicing a song in church, he ran uncontrolably through church like a wild man. That was the last straw. We quit PSR. Again, he didn't fit the Catholic mold.

As I mentioned, my daughter goes to Catholic school and she does have a few friends that are adhd. (birds of a feather flock together) When they come over, it's very obvious. I ask what meds they are on and how they are doing in school. Usually not that great. My daughter tells me daily who got sent to the office, who got suspended, who got kicked out. It is always the kids that are medicated for add/adhd. They just do not fit the mold.

The Catholic schools are not equipped to accommodate special needs kids. When my son was in Kindergarten, he was offered special ed help called SNAP but it was not at the school. It was at night and we actually went to a public school for the help. It was beneficial, but it was not offered at the Catholic school.

One more thing....

My niece went to Catholic school for 8 years and when she took some tests to enter a Catholic highschool, she then found out she was learning disabled. I couldn't believe that someone who was learning disabled went undetected for 8 years. It is unbelieveable to me. When I asked my sisterinlaw whether she ever suspected it, she said that my niece did not try hard enough, etc... (denial, denial, denial). She now does go to the Catholic school high school and is doing OK. Not great, just OK. They just do not have all the resources that public schools have due to the public schools getting funds from the state for having special needs kids.

Hope this helps..

H

Look the techers at this school need to help her by legal obligation esp. when you have asked more then once. As far as I know you can request new teachers for your daughter, AD/HD friendly teachers who will accomodate her and not just reject the idea that AD/HD exists. If they refuse after that and your daughter still wants to stay at the school you need to get 2 legal documents confirming that she has AD/HD and they will bew forced to listen to you. This should be the same in the USA but what I have given you is Australian. :eyebrow:

I have read lots of great suggestions for organization, time management, etc. in this thread.

One thing that I have not yet seen addressed is this: IDEA (individuals with disabilities education act) does not cover those students who are in private and/or parochial schools. This means there is no legal IEP (individualized education plan) course of action. If the school chooses not to accomodate her, in spite of her continual lack of progress academically...they don't legally have to do so. Notice how this doesn't stop them from cashing her tuition check every year though, hm?

Do I agree with this? Of course not. I think it's awful. Legally though, they have the right to do this. IDEA guarantees a student's right to a free, appropriate PUBLIC education in the least restrictive environment. It has a lot to do with where the funding comes from for the students.

I did not see your reason for keeping her in this parochial school, and if you did state it, I apologize. However, if she is continually failing...I would seriously consider pulling her out of the school, and putting her in a public setting. Hand them a letter the day you transfer her (what does she have to lose even this late in the year...you know? She's already not able to participate in sports, and is failing across the board...) formally requesting she be tested for learning issues. Her transcripts will speak for themselves. They can do this testing into the summer, if necessary (lots of parents don't realize that once the process is started, it doesn't get put on pause simply because the school year has ended).

To me, this situation is drastic. She needs to have major intervention at this point, so she can still salvage what is left of her high school experience. Even now, she can still work with an IEP to put herself into a position to have a future college experience, too. The key is placing her in an environment where she is set up to succeed, and it doesn't sound to me as if her current environment is condusive to this, at all.

That being typed, I would add that giving her "outs" on her homework isn't really in her best interest, in my humble opinion. I look at it this way...some day she's going to have a place of employment. They will expect things of her on time, and in full. Her boss/bosses aren't going to care if she is adhd if she misses her deadline, no matter how much they may like her personally.

Consider this: if you worked really hard, finished your tasks, and were a model employee, and went to get your paycheck and the payroll accountant said, "I know it's payday, but I am adhd, and I tried really hard to get your paycheck ready, but I'm not done with it yet. Can you wait another day...or several?" ...how well do you think this would go over with you? Especially if you had bills to pay, and very unsympathetic creditors? ;)

So you know, I am also adhd. I have two of four children who are adhd, one is also dyslexic. (whispers very quietly...and I'm a teacher in a public school...secondary English grades 7-12--currently working in the 8th grade.)

[QUOTE=ms_sunshine]
[b][font=Century Gothic][size=4][color=#00bfff]One thing that I have not yet seen addressed is this: IDEA (individuals with disabilities education act) does not cover those students who are in private and/or parochial schools. This means there is no legal IEP (individualized education plan) course of action. If the school chooses not to accomodate her, in spite of her continual lack of progress academically...they don't legally have to do so.

Sorry I didn't know that because I live in Australia.

Isn't it frustrating how there are different laws/policies in different countries? And here in the States, although there is one federal law (IDEA), its' application differs from state to state, because each one interprets IDEA in their own way.

I didn't learn that in college...I learned it when we moved from Pennsylvania to Ohio, and my childrens' IEPs had to be completely redone in order to comply with Ohio's interpretation of the law.

Yea, so what state is this school in?

IDEA--I think its a great program for kids' like my daughter who are a little behind; but, feel it abuses the kids' like my son who are advanced.

The school system was very quick to act when my daughter showed signs of trouble in school, they had her tested immediatly and a program was set up within a months time after testing to get her caught up with her classmates and they are very good at making sure she stays where she needs to be accademically and socially. But, we had to fight tooth and nail to get our advanced son fully tested and a program implemented to challenge his intellect. Luckily, he has had some really great and caring teacher's who are willing to discuss my son's education with me, challenge him and when they need to stop and let his mind rest due to stress or over exertion they are more then willing to implement review time into his lesson plan. My son did have one teacher who pushed him so hard that he came home everyday in tears with stomach aches it was almost as if she got her raise based on the average and it did get very ugly with her and the school for awhile but we finally got the hang of the system and he's doing very well again.

I'm glad to see that your son is doing well, futs. It's a beautiful thing when everyone works together for the best interests of the student :). That's how it should always be!

Sadly, there were times when I lost my control with certain teacher's. The problem is that I know these teacher's, many of them I had when I was in school and know how they are and how they treat their students. Last year Koda had one of those teachers...who I can remember yelling at me in front of the classroom and asking me if I was retarded or if I just didn't care to pay attention. Yeah, she was a peach but near the end of the year we learned to listen to one another and she found that with a little respect on her part towards Koda he gave her 110% in the classroom or did his very best.

Live and learn I guess. I've learned to be as patient as possible or nothing is going to get accomplished. Koda is also learning to advocate for himself. This year he had some trouble with math and not wanting to do all that grunt work when he gets A's on his tests well the lack of grunt work handed in drug his grade down to an F. So, he compromised with his teacher and set a date when all that work had to be handed in and she would let him get a late grade, meaning that his math grade for that semester would be entered late. He did well over 200 problems in two weeks and brought his grade up to an A.

For the most part we are lucky, we know our teacher's on a personal level coming from such a small community.

Vathens,

How has your daughter been doing lately? Any improvements?

Cherity

I went on the net and did some research and somebody wrote this not me.


Because many children with ADHD experience significant academic difficulties, it is very important for parents to be aware of the special educational services that public schools are required to provide. Unfortunately, many children with ADHD do not receive the services they are entitled to, and parents are often unaware of the assistance their child should be receiving.

Prior to 1991, children with ADHD were not eligible to receive special educational services unless they were determined to have some other disability (e.g. a specific learning disability). Lobbying efforts to rectify this situation were successful, however, and children with ADHD who require special assistance must now receive access to special education and/or related services according to two federal laws.

Children with ADHD may be eligible for special services under Part B of the Individual with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). This would apply when a child's ADHD is determined to be a "chronic or acute health problem which adversely affects educational performance." When this condition is true - as it will be for many children with ADHD - the child can be classified as "Other Health Impaired" (OHI), and the school must develop an Individual Education Plan (IEP) that is designed to meet the child's unique educational needs.

An IEP is a plan to educate your child based on your child's individual needs. Ideally, the IEP should take into account a childís unique abilities and disabilities, and identify specific educational goals for the child, procedures for attaining those goals, and methods to evaluate whether the goals are being met. The IEP is developed after a child has been evaluated and found to require special educational services. In the best circumstances, the plan is developed in a collaborative meeting involving parents, teachers, and other school personnel (e.g. guidance counselor, school psychologist, etc.) Parents are also free to bring along anyone (e.g. child psychologist) that they feel would be helpful to have at the meeting.

Special services for children with ADHD may also be obtain under Section 504, a civil rights law that prohibits discrimination against individuals with disabilities. Like IDEA, Section 504 requires schools to provide children who have disabilities with a free and appropriate public education. Unlike IDEA, however, which stipulates that a child has disabilities that require special education services, Section 504 identifies a qualified person as anyone with a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities, such as learning. This means that children who do not require special education are still guaranteed access to related services under Section 504 if the child is deemed to have an impairment that "substantially limits one or more major life activities" such as learning, and the school must try to adapt instructional methods to the needs of children with ADHD.

As learning is considered a major life activity, children diagnosed with AD/HD are entitled to the protections of Section 504 if the disability is substantially limiting their ability to learn. It is up to the local school district to make the determination of whether this condition is met and children who are not eligible for special education may still be guaranteed access to related services if they meet the Section 504 eligibility criteria.

If the child is eligible under Section 504, the school district must develop a Section 504 plan. Thisplan would include accommodations/adaptations that are designed to meet the child's educational needs and may include things such as the following:

- reducing the length of homework assignments;
- allowing the child extra time on tests;
- simplifying instructions about assignments;
- providing specific assistance with planning and organizational skills;
- or using behavioral management techniques in the classroom;
- use of tape recorders
- computer-aided instructions

In general, Section 504 provides a faster and more flexible procedure for obtaining some accommodations and services for children with disabilities and some children may receive protection who are not eligible for services or protection under IDEA. Thus, Section 504 can provide an efficient way to obtain limited assistance without the stigma and bureaucratic procedures attached to IDEA.

The advantage of obtaining services under IDEA, however, is that it offers a wider range of service options, the procedures for parent participation and procedural safeguards are far more extensive, and the degree of regulation is far more specific than that found in Section 504.

For additional information on IDEA Section 504 visit the CHADD web site.

First off, it has been my experience that talks, and punishments mean little to ADHD kids...and can even be counter productive. Parents build in expectations that the kid will respond to these talks or punishments and that doesn't necessarily happen. Parents get mad, and the kid either rebels externally or withdraws internally...neither of which is good.

What works with ADHD kids? One on one learning situations...and parents who follow the progress of their children like a hawk. They may have to talk to the teacher several times a week to keep on top of the kid. Work avoidance is common amongst adhd kids. Medication can also help.

As mentioned above in other posts, you need to determine what your child's needs are. She has ADHD...but adhd usually has a partner. You need someone to explain to you exactly who she is and what she needs. This may cost money...but in the long run, it is usually worth every penny. Once you determine her needs you can accommodate..and accommodation has NOTHING to do with being fair to the other kids in the class. It has EVERYTHING to do with being fair to your daughter.

Are you talking about my post because I didn't write (ADHD stands for AD/HD)

....?

Once you determine her needs you can accommodate..and accommodation has NOTHING to do with being fair to the other kids in the class. It has EVERYTHING to do with being fair to your daughter.

WOW! nicely put, scuro.

Cherity-

Thanks for checking on my daughter. We are still fighting the fight to pass in school. She received one F in math. I guess thats a step in the right direction considering we had many F's last year! She is inelligible to play softball. Her spirit is slowing breaking. She only played 1 week. I guess it wasnt meant to be. My problem with her is to get her to be accountable. She hides missing assignment, and doesnt ask for help at school. The teachers still say that she is not attentive in class. She is on concerta. Could it be the medication isn't working or is it her that doesnt care about school? I want her to care and step up to the plate and get the job done. I dont know what else to do. I hope one day that the light will come on and that she will take this seriously.

Victoria

With information heavy courses like math, a tutor would really help. Ask the guidance or special ed department and they should help you find a tutor from your school.

ADHD kids are often very work avoidant...nor do they often have any sort of internal motivation, or long term insight about how school is important. I think parents get too worked up about ADHD kids not being responsible...it's really not in their nature and is not easy to learn.

"Pitbull" style parents often have great success with their adhd kids. Have a place and a set time when they do their hmk. Contact the teacher(s) frequently to make sure that there are no outstanding assignments. Help them chunk major assignments down and then help them with their planner and time line things out.

ADHD kids are much more motivated when they are having success at school. Failure is typically highly discouraging to them.

Cherity-

Thanks for checking on my daughter. We are still fighting the fight to pass in school. She received one F in math. I guess thats a step in the right direction considering we had many F's last year! She is inelligible to play softball. Her spirit is slowing breaking. She only played 1 week. I guess it wasnt meant to be. My problem with her is to get her to be accountable. She hides missing assignment, and doesnt ask for help at school. The teachers still say that she is not attentive in class. She is on concerta. Could it be the medication isn't working or is it her that doesnt care about school? I want her to care and step up to the plate and get the job done. I dont know what else to do. I hope one day that the light will come on and that she will take this seriously.

Victoria

I would definatly speak with her doctor if she is still unable to pay attention in class I'd ask for another med to try. We have also found talk therapy very helpful with Dakota, he gets a little reinforcement from a second party that school is important and that he has to hold himself accountable. A good therapist will help her learn how to pinpoint what her distractions are and how to work around them or even with them. Don't give up mom or she will give up on herself as well. Big hugs to you.

Dakota had all Fs last semester and has brought his math grade up to an A this time around with a lot of hard work which your daughter is going to have to put in, the use of a tutor who made learning the material fun and talk therapy.

Cherity

Keep us posted and don't be afraid to come in and just say ARGH! we've all done it.