Hi ...I guess it is a game after all with some rules and a price. So before I went into it more seriously, I thought , want I like to have is a zero-sum-game, a winner either side. Or better not to have "I winn a bit more, you win a bit less".
So far so good. I put my profile in , you may call it down to earth/no bull, and a bit pollished since one has to to sell oneself. Must say have no problems with that one.
So what happend was , just as in real life dateing , in most cases "YOU have to approach the girls". So much for womens lib.
OK I swallowed this too and wrote emails only to those ( just happened recently ) I thought are great.
Even that worked!!!
Where I crashed was/is the endless game of e-mail from, e-mail to and so on, and so on.
What I am trying to say is , a certain momentum has been build and than it converts into a draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag.

Guess what happens than, I write pointy e-mails and only 24 hours later I realise !!!!jeeeeeeee that could have been insulting.

And then I feel sorry that I have done it and be very p.o. with myself because I lost an opportunity due to impatience and stupidity.

How are you going in this game.

cheers otto:mad::mad:

Not in the game. If I were I'd probably talk by e-mail quite a bit just to make sure the guy wasn't cracked. Eventually I would expect that he or even I would want to meet in person. Awkward, but it seems logical that that would be the next step if there's any chemistry. Then again, having a "pen-pal" doesn't sound like such a bad idea. There's always web-cams and phone calls.

I can imagine the next step is awkward but all you can do is ask. If you click you click otherwise you have to move on. I don't think you can get out of those rules in the dating game, on line or not. You can't force it, and if you're rude, well, then she can choose to move on and not bother with someone impatient. Apologies might work. (I would find it very sweet.) Depends on the person.

Hope you meet someone you like who likes you just as much.

I have talked to people for two months, before agreeing to meet them, at times, and others I've agreed after about two weeks. It all depends on how much we have fun talking to each other, and how quickly that is able to happen. When I don't reply to someone at all, it's because their idiots, or rude, and we'll never get along if we were to meet.
The entire online dating/meeting idea is only as fun as you want it to be.
Nova

:)When I read your reply and the word "fun" came up my fronatl lope lightened up.

That is the key criteria....if it becomes a drag then someone plays a game..

Thanks Nova I'll take that up on a different issue

cheers Otto:)

I think the online dating thing can be a drag, because it is impersonal.

From my experience, it's always been best not to send too many emails back and forth. You don't really know what the person is like until they're sitting across from you. Besides, all of those emails can build up false expectations.

So get a little rapport going, then meet in person. I try to set it up after the first or second phone call.

:):):)Hi NYCguy


I fully agree..it is very impersonal however the girls(some prefer the term Ladies) I would like to meet most likely I will not find in taverns, night clubs etc.

Also the girls all claim they have no baggage, well if you look at the conditions and implied conditions it becomes a good laugh! Actually a very good ADDer laugh, I should write 20 rules and post it to digtal's joke thread.

Anyhow it is now about 2 month ago since I wrote the org msg and I consider the internet dating game now as an , let's say , opportunity at arms length, to chat , write e-mails and see what comes up.

Even if I thing she she could be really worth a shot, and if it is even true, the situation the other person is in at this point in time is just unknow and I can not (as yet ????) read body lanuage via cyberspace.

On a different note, What happened to ADD internet dating subforum??

lol and cheers Otto:p:p:p

I met my boyfriend about a year ago on e-harmony. At first, I was apprehensive about joining a dating website, but my aunt explained that you take this "personality profile" test (very long by the way...not fun for an ADDer-took about 1hour)-so I was intrigued. This "personality profile" gave me alot of insight about myself-I thought it was pretty accurate.

Anyway, about a week or two after I joined, I started to communicate with one of my matches via the website. I thought he was funny, witty, smart, interesting,and mainly-mentally stimulating. We then went on to communicating via email for a couple weeks. Then we talked on the phone (for hours and hours) every night.

This way of meeting someone worked out very well for me because of the structure. I got to learn about him, and grew to like him, before we actually met. I think in the past, because of my impulsive ways, I jumped into relationships for the excitement and thrill of someone new, though not really taking the needed time get to know them.


Has anyone else tried the online dating?

On a different note, What happened to ADD internet dating subforum??



http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14879&highlight=internet+dating

Is this the thread you're referring to?

Nearly 20 years ago I met my wife through a "companions wanted" advertisement in the news paper.

I don't even buy newspapers so I don't know how to explain the degree of coincidence involved here. :D

When I was going to college in Toronto in the early 80's I had a similar ad catch my eye while I was laying out newsprint before cleaning a clock. The heading read, "Can leap tall buildings in a single bound." I cut it out and pinned it above my bench. I never called her but in the ad she sounded very attractive next to what I was used to dating.

I guess I was attractive, it's hard to judge that objectively. Regardless, I seemed to attract women that had little substance beyond doing the nasty. :D That was fun to a point, but by the time I was in my early twenties it was wearing thin and I had always hoped to grow a family up in a rural setting. I wasn't making much headway in that direction.

I was living in down town T.O. and having a rocking good time with a number of women, but none were anywhere near Mum material.

The ad I had pinned above my bench haunted me years after I had lost the piece of paper. Through a string of bad relationships I would kick myself for not contacting that woman.

A few years later someone had left a paper behind in my apartment and I was lounging around one evening and found a similar ad in it. I swore I wasn't going to have that one haunt me one minute! So I sat down and wrote three or four drafts, rewriting very carefully to make sure I was very clear.

I re-read it several times and mailed it off the next morning and never once gave it another thought. My conscience was cleared and I truly never had it come to mind again until I got a flowery bit of stationary written in script I didn't recognize with a local return address. I was completely baffled.

Ok now for the contrasting picture to the flowery stationary. I wore a lot of leather back then and had hair to my shoulders. I was often on a motorcycle and almost always wore leather chaps. I knew how to bathe, but I wasn't about to clean toilets. Suffice it to say, I was a little rough around the edges. :D

This poor woman had written back to me. Her hand writing was upright and without flaws. Her spelling was impeccable. She was just finishing up her first attempt at teaching. She was going to quit at Christmas having become quite disillusioned with knives being pulled on her in class and being told to F off most days at least once. She was an award winning academic with a social conscience. She's still teaching by the way. She's a force to be reckoned with in a class room! :D

She wanted to meet and I thought this meeting wouldn't take more than a few minutes to make clear to her that she had made a mistake in that I'm a bad boy and she's a good girl and never the two shall meet. Wrong-O. I underestimated her passion for bad boys. I couldn't have been much more attractive to her and it showed. :(

She was not the prettiest thing in sight and she was so smitten that she really couldn't converse well. We had a desert and I was polite. We parted with her inviting me out for dinner. I agreed somewhat reluctantly out of pity I think, all the while remembering how miserable my previous partners had been for me and how they had all failed to provide a candidate for a wife and mother.

Cutting to the case... :P She called my bluff at every step along the way and we are very happily married with three beautiful daughters. My wife has become a beautiful woman and the love we share is founded on universal principles.

My good wife has explained to me how she came to use an ad to find a mate. I thought it was interesting. If you know yourself well and can be very specific in your portrayal and request you can fish in a much bigger pond for what you think you need. It was safe for her because she could remain anonymous if she wanted to and could choose to meet in a busy public place if she chose to meet someone that answered.
Works for me.

That's a sweet story. You had long hair??? Hard to imagine it.

Women can be so cruel! ehheheh

I've been on so many variations of online dating sites, and again.. I've met some of the best people on there, and the worst.
But I'm still subscribed to one of them, at one point or another, because I have fun on them.
There is someone on there, that is just like 'me', I know that. And we'll find each other.
There is nothing different from online dating, than meeting someone at a restaurant, or through friends, etc.
If you 'click', you click.
Nova