View Full Version : Need Advice

03-30-14, 11:38 AM
I have been with my Girlfriend for two years now. She has ADD I love her to death, we have a very good relationship over all. Although at times I want to give up due to frustration,I manage to stay strong. its not easy I most say. I have tried a lot of method to keep us going. We been to couples therapy and we also have our own therapist, but after all these i feel there have been no help at all. I mean my girlfriend is not a bad person at all in fact she try very hard to be of help & I love that. The problem is I feel she lies to much, I have brought this subject up in our couples therapy section and all though I have learn that its not laying but its basically adding extra to the story or saying instead what she wanted to happened I don`t seem to be ok. I really don`t believe anything that comes out her mouth, if I was not there to see what happened i just don`t believe it. The therapist told me to call her out on her lies at the moment she says it but I find it hard to do since she gets mad & most of the time she is laying about something is usually when there is friends or family around and me personally i find it unfair to call her out in front of people, but then again it will be too late if I just wait till we are alone. I really need some advice on how to mend with this problem I want to stay with her and make it work but I feel like everything I tried has fail :( My problem is I don`t like lies its my num. one rule no lies not even if its small!!:(

03-30-14, 01:36 PM
Can you give us some examples of her lying?

Many ADHDers get confused about things and it may seem like we are lying. Then there is actual lying.

03-30-14, 03:06 PM
for example I`m downstairs watching TV and she goes to talk to my Mom I can hear everything they are talking about, but when she comes downstairs & to tell me what she was talking about she tells me a whole different story. She has got me into problems with friends just because she tells me thing that happened when i confront them its just a misunderstanding that she takes out of portion and 90% of what she said was a lie. There are also times when she forgets i was there with her and she is telling me what happened but its like whatever she is saying is not even true. If we are talking as a family and about things that has happened to us as kids, everything we say she has done or the same thing happened to her as a kid with the exact details. I am able to handle it because i learn to tell when she is laying but people around us don`t even want to be around her because they say she lies too much and then they treat her different and i don't like that so now its like we just stay home most of the time.

03-30-14, 07:47 PM
That's not ADHD then. It's another issue. Possibly compulsive lying, which sadly some ADHDers do develop as a result of trying to cover for the ADHD and bad self esteem. Either way, treating the ADHD won't change this (it's not a symptom), therapy for the lying and underlying self esteem issues might however.

03-31-14, 04:50 AM
Are you certain that her conversation with your mom wasnt just supposed to be private and so she told you something different as a self protection thing? Either way, if you cant trust her, you shouldnt be in a relationship with her. Regardless of whether she is lying-or not- as a form of self protection or as a form of compulsive lying, you dont trust her and no relationship can flourish under these circumstances.