View Full Version : College Professor making comments about ADD is it wrong ?


shoppingchick91
04-15-14, 04:04 PM
Today in one of my classes we watched a boring movie, and the professor himself even said that he knows the movie is boring and he told us to control our ADD and to get out the ADD tendencies before we started the movie.

Also does it bother any one else when people make negative comments or jokes about ADD.

silivrentoliel
04-15-14, 04:07 PM
I hate ignorant comments like that

Rebelyell
04-15-14, 07:45 PM
Theres a saying for those that can do, for those that cant teach, now look at where its coming from.Nothing against teachers either, I have high esteem for most teachers this guys just a putz who has to deal w too many personalities day in an day out.

Ganjin
04-15-14, 08:24 PM
Really ignorant and unprofessional. He should know better.

Corina86
04-16-14, 04:09 AM
...And stupid. ADHD aside

1. you shouldn't play a boring movie in class because most people, ADHD or not, won't pay attention to it; if you can't find a better movie, don't play one at all, but, instead, use another teaching method, because this what you're paid to do

2. if from some reason you absolutely must play a boring movie to a class, don't announce that it's boring before it even begins! No matter how lousy it might be, people will still pay attention for the first couple of minutes if they think it might be interesting, but if you tell them it's crap, they'll start thinking/doing something else before you even press the "play" button

3. there are better ways to make people more focused, like asking them to take notes or pausing the movie to ask questions. Telling them to pay attention does jack s**t - everyone is probably gonna daydream, fidget, play on their cell-phones or stare at their hot colleagues, even the professor himself, I suppose

drvenom
04-16-14, 04:24 AM
Does it bother me when people make dumb comments about ADD? Yes and no. It all depends on who it is and the setting. For example, my girl always jokes around with me about ADD and tells me inappropriate ADD jokes. However, she does this in the privacy of our home and she would never mention this to anyone else other than me. My friends will often times make some tasteful jokes about ADD; they keep it respectful. Again, I don't mind this either. But I would have been upset if my professors joked around about ADD in class, because the class room is a professional setting, and thus, they should behave accordingly. Also, professors are in a position to influence people so cracking up ADD jokes during class has the potential to spread misconceptions about a condition that afflicts a lot of people. That's my two cents on the matter.

sarek
04-16-14, 07:06 AM
I once had a geography teacher who loved to crack derogatory jokes at the expense of just about everyone in the class.
At one point he pushed it too far when he told a person with a speech impediment (which the teacher didnt know about) to "get speech therapy"

What drvenom just now said is an important issue also. Its one thing to say dumb and ignorant things when you're in a private situation, it is quite another to be a person of authority(teacher, spiritual leader, politician) or a celebrity (movie or rock star), and to then give people the wrong examples from that position of high visibility.

DrZoidberg
04-16-14, 07:33 AM
...or you could see it from the positive side. The teacher has an awareness of the diagnosis... and spreading this awareness. Yes, it was a joke. If I'd been there, I wouldn't have taken offence.

Like somebody else said... we've all got ADD tendencies. That is normal. What makes us special is that we've got more of it.

Ganjin
04-16-14, 08:50 AM
Hey my wife and I make jokes about ADHD and my many symptoms all the time. Often, she makes the joke as a form of affection. That's well and good.

But as Sarek and drvenom both said, it's all about context of the comment. The professor is in the position of authority in this situation. It is not the place to make light of these things. He probably meant no harm, but he clearly has not thought through the meaning and impact of his words. You don't, in front of a class full of students, make jokes about disabilities, impairments, mental illness, etc. What's next? Jokes about fat people?

mrs. dobbs
04-16-14, 08:57 AM
You don't, in front of a class full of students, make jokes about disabilities, impairments, mental illness, etc. What's next? Jokes about fat people?

Like that time my Spanish professor was all like "you ... look like you eat LOTS of McDonalds!" HEYOooo! Amirite people??

...and the class went silent and just stared at him until he felt stupid. I felt bad for him. LOL.

salleh
04-16-14, 09:55 AM
......just because people are in power, whatever their position, does not give them a clue ....they are themselves .....and a jerk is a jerk ....an ignoramus is an ignoramus ....

....the problem lies is other people thinking that those people in power somehow have more right to say something stupid, or if because they are in power, that means they aren't stupid ...

....Lots of horrible things have happened down the the ages because of stupid, ignoramus leaders ....

Trooper Keith
04-16-14, 10:18 AM
I'm sorry you're so sensitive, you should probably work on not being so sensitive. Crawl down off that cross, you don't need to make yourself a martyr.

Rebelyell
04-16-14, 10:45 AM
I wouldnt sweat it op alot of us are indeed oversensitive on alot of stuff n quick to react.Half the time its just petty crap in life n a bunch of mental masturbation mind control w people.

shoppingchick91
04-16-14, 03:06 PM
I'm not that sensitive, I mean it bothered me a little bit, it was more that the place it was said I think was more the issue and by a professor that surely doesn't help.

Ganjin
04-16-14, 04:27 PM
I'm sorry you're so sensitive, you should probably work on not being so sensitive. Crawl down off that cross, you don't need to make yourself a martyr.

Are you talking to the OP? Nothing about her post struck me as martyrdom.

Trooper Keith
04-17-14, 11:17 PM
Are you talking to the OP? Nothing about her post struck me as martyrdom.

Not directly, but yes? There is a tendency in a lot of people to look for reasons to be offended. Anyone who takes this kind of comment as a cause for offense is doing so intentionally. It's like the paramedic who referred to cultural practices like applying burning coins to yourself to heal wounds as "weird" and was barred for being "insensitive" - it's not insensitive, but people will find a reason to be offended.

Anyone who hears someone go "I'm really ADD today" or whatnot and goes "oh my gosh how rude there are actually people with ADHD you know and I can't believe you'd say that how insensitive" is merely finding a reason to be upset. It is martyrdom. It is self-inflicted pity.

So crawl down off the cross, stop finding reasons to be upset. If someone calls something retarded, understand that it's probably not because that person hates people with mental retardation. If they say they're feeling OCD, don't take it to mean they assume their current condition is equivalent to OCD. If someone says not to be so ADD, don't assume they are literally talking about ADD. That's just perpetuating the euphemism treadmill, and being overly sensitive for no reason at all except the satisfaction it brings to be a martyr.

Kunga Dorji
04-17-14, 11:33 PM
Today in one of my classes we watched a boring movie, and the professor himself even said that he knows the movie is boring and he told us to control our ADD and to get out the ADD tendencies before we started the movie.

Also does it bother any one else when people make negative comments or jokes about ADD.

As of now, the official term for a Professor who makes sweeping statements about areas outside his area of professional expertise is "authoritarian idiot".

I wonder if he would be supersensitive about that observation, or if he could refute it.

USMCcop
04-17-14, 11:47 PM
Today in one of my classes we watched a boring movie, and the professor himself even said that he knows the movie is boring and he told us to control our ADD and to get out the ADD tendencies before we started the movie.

Also does it bother any one else when people make negative comments or jokes about ADD.

I guess everyone's perception is different. I don't find his comment disparaging at all. It actually shows he's educated in the condition. He understands that the ADD brain gets testy, losing interest in the mundane.

Most people, when they hear "ADD," they only associate it with hyper children.

Ganjin
04-17-14, 11:55 PM
Not directly, but yes? There is a tendency in a lot of people to look for reasons to be offended. Anyone who takes this kind of comment as a cause for offense is doing so intentionally. It's like the paramedic who referred to cultural practices like applying burning coins to yourself to heal wounds as "weird" and was barred for being "insensitive" - it's not insensitive, but people will find a reason to be offended.

Anyone who hears someone go "I'm really ADD today" or whatnot and goes "oh my gosh how rude there are actually people with ADHD you know and I can't believe you'd say that how insensitive" is merely finding a reason to be upset. It is martyrdom. It is self-inflicted pity.

So crawl down off the cross, stop finding reasons to be upset. If someone calls something retarded, understand that it's probably not because that person hates people with mental retardation. If they say they're feeling OCD, don't take it to mean they assume their current condition is equivalent to OCD. If someone says not to be so ADD, don't assume they are literally talking about ADD. That's just perpetuating the euphemism treadmill, and being overly sensitive for no reason at all except the satisfaction it brings to be a martyr.

If you'll pull these nails out of my wrists, I'll gladly get down of this cross :eek:

sarahsweets
04-18-14, 04:34 AM
was this guess named professor tool?

execfunc
04-20-14, 02:57 AM
Today in one of my classes we watched a boring movie, and the professor himself even said that he knows the movie is boring and he told us to control our ADD and to get out the ADD tendencies before we started the movie.

Also does it bother any one else when people make negative comments or jokes about ADD.

This sort of thing doesn't bother me at all. I don't think it was a negative comment, at least in the sense of negating the reality of the hardship of this disorder. ADHD, is after all, a pretty negative phenomenon, in my view. Joking doesn't bother me either. My girlfriend occasionally tells me to get a grip on my OCD behavior (I don't have OCD), and she isn't trying to disparage people with that disorder. I don't get offended if people make jokes about Irish drunkenness, and I'm Irish-American. This is part of the joy and magic in manipulation of advanced, well-developed language. It is rich with metaphor, exaggeration, symbolism, simile, analogy, etc.

I think the offensiveness threshold has gotten pretty low over the last couple of decades. My benchmark is intent. If it is clearly a function of malice, deliberately calculated to hurt, then I find it offensive.

sarahsweets
04-20-14, 09:59 AM
Tell him to go f**k himself.

Kunga Dorji
04-20-14, 12:39 PM
Tell him to go f**k himself.

Well-- if he doesn't do it--- nobody will :D


and-- for the record-- most oters here are being too conciliatory- FAR too conciliatory.

AshT
04-20-14, 04:30 PM
That wouldn't bother me.
Actually, why does it bother people can I ask? Think i'm blind, cant really see the problem.

Kunga Dorji
04-20-14, 09:38 PM
That wouldn't bother me.
Actually, why does it bother people can I ask? Think i'm blind, cant really see the problem.


You know it is not specifically about you or I as a person.
In Australia at least there is a thread of systematic stupidity and cynicism about ADHD that runs right through the whole community-- and it is worst in the vast bulk of the psychiatric profession (well known - with a few honourable exceptions- for their conformity and obedience to authority).

We can shrug this stuff off-- but the truth is - if we do that, and we say "it doesn't bother me" we aid and abet a situation where others have great difficulty accessing treatment.

I don't know what it was like for you-- but it took 3 years for me to get from my first suspicion that I had (it is now resolved) ADHD, to getting diagnosed.

I am a Medical Practitioner and neither myself nor the vast bulk of my colleagues knew anything about it-- and that is because of the prevailing atmosphere of systematic ignorance.

That delay cost me my marriage, and a great deal of distress to myself, my children and my ex wife.

I work nowadays mostly with ADHD individuals- and I see so much harm done by missed diagnosis,and see so many patients come in afraid to seek treatment because of exactly the sort of offhand cynicism expressed by the professor being discussed here that I do not think it is acceptable.

It is not acceptable that people should make such thoughtless and potentially destructive comments. It is also unacceptable that we, as individuals who have had the good fortune to be diagnosed and treated, do not advocate for those other ADDers who are still undiagnosed.

We need to be as organised and intentional as the gay marriage advocates.

Quite apart form anything else the exercise in setting boundaries as to what is acceptable and also basic coaching in being organised.
As organised group of ADers-- what next ?

AshT
04-21-14, 03:12 PM
You know it is not specifically about you or I as a person.
In Australia at least there is a thread of systematic stupidity and cynicism about ADHD that runs right through the whole community-- and it is worst in the vast bulk of the psychiatric profession (well known - with a few honourable exceptions- for their conformity and obedience to authority).

We can shrug this stuff off-- but the truth is - if we do that, and we say "it doesn't bother me" we aid and abet a situation where others have great difficulty accessing treatment.

I don't know what it was like for you-- but it took 3 years for me to get from my first suspicion that I had (it is now resolved) ADHD, to getting diagnosed.

I am a Medical Practitioner and neither myself nor the vast bulk of my colleagues knew anything about it-- and that is because of the prevailing atmosphere of systematic ignorance.

That delay cost me my marriage, and a great deal of distress to myself, my children and my ex wife.

I work nowadays mostly with ADHD individuals- and I see so much harm done by missed diagnosis,and see so many patients come in afraid to seek treatment because of exactly the sort of offhand cynicism expressed by the professor being discussed here that I do not think it is acceptable.

It is not acceptable that people should make such thoughtless and potentially destructive comments. It is also unacceptable that we, as individuals who have had the good fortune to be diagnosed and treated, do not advocate for those other ADDers who are still undiagnosed.

We need to be as organised and intentional as the gay marriage advocates.

Quite apart form anything else the exercise in setting boundaries as to what is acceptable and also basic coaching in being organised.
As organised group of ADers-- what next ?

Idk, I don't have to shrug it off because it genuinely doesn't bother me. I don't see the problem. He's not telling people adhd doesn't exist, he's at least acknowledging it does.

I think it's a long shot saying that a comment like the one described in the topic prevents diagnosis. As you said, no-one really knows about it, at least jokes raise the awareness of it's existence.

I can understand how some jokes will go too far etc, but I don't see the issue with the specific one given. He's just saying, get you're concentration on guys! Of course if the movie's boring everyone's probably going to be acting add-like.

However, if I ever found a comment a professor made in class that I found offensive, i'd just tell him after. Chances are they don't even mean too or don't even realise.

Everyone seems to have had a real tangent rant about this guy. Ffs, we're all entitled to be ignorant at some things, we don't know everything, he doesn't know how hard it is to get a diagnosis or how hard we battle. Heck, someone could go speak to him and find out he actually has ADHD himself and battled years of getting a diagnosis himself, he was just making a joke.

But, the end of the day if no-one asks/tells him, he's never going to know and we'll continue not spreading the word and awareness. These are all great opportunities to do that, to stamp on ignorance to teach and better educate. If we want compassion we must to be compassionate to others people first, understanding that others make mistakes and that's part of being human. We as an ADHD community cannot do anything about that, BUT we can seize our opportunities when we can and help correct them.

Trooper Keith
04-22-14, 12:09 AM
If you'll pull these nails out of my wrists, I'll gladly get down of this cross :eek:

That doesn't seem right, you put them there yourself. I have pointed out they're there, but you're the one who climbed up. :)

ginniebean
04-22-14, 12:14 AM
Yeah, if only someone had told Rosa Parks to get off her cross, I mean it's only a few steps to the back.

Unmanagable
04-22-14, 12:27 AM
But it would be much easier to reach the nails from that high horse, wouldn't it?

hurricane92
04-22-14, 01:30 AM
What we go through because of our ADHD and what Rosa Parks went through does not even approach comparable. People do not hang us from trees.

hurricane92
04-22-14, 01:57 AM
We can shrug this stuff off-- but the truth is - if we do that, and we say "it doesn't bother me" we aid and abet a situation where others have great difficulty accessing treatment.

I don't know what it was like for you-- but it took 3 years for me to get from my first suspicion that I had (it is now resolved) ADHD, to getting diagnosed.

I am a Medical Practitioner and neither myself nor the vast bulk of my colleagues knew anything about it-- and that is because of the prevailing atmosphere of systematic ignorance.

That delay cost me my marriage, and a great deal of distress to myself, my children and my ex wife.

I work nowadays mostly with ADHD individuals- and I see so much harm done by missed diagnosis,and see so many patients come in afraid to seek treatment because of exactly the sort of offhand cynicism expressed by the professor being discussed here that I do not think it is acceptable.

It is not acceptable that people should make such thoughtless and potentially destructive comments. It is also unacceptable that we, as individuals who have had the good fortune to be diagnosed and treated, do not advocate for those other ADDers who are still undiagnosed.

We need to be as organised and intentional as the gay marriage advocates.

Quite apart form anything else the exercise in setting boundaries as to what is acceptable and also basic coaching in being organised.
As organised group of ADers-- what next ?

I do not wish to antagonize you, merely share my opinion. And that is that your personal experience has made you too sensitive. Potentially destructive comments? Please. I'm sorry it took you so long to be diagnosed- I wonder if some of us just know from as far back as they can remember that we have something different going on, that was certainly the case for me. The fact that your patients had trepidation coming in is on them, not us, or you. Their courage is not a matter of societal concern. Offhand comments like the professor's are probably not what drive people away from seeking treatment- I'd say a far more worthwhile target of the organized ADHD populace would be educating family units on the disorder so the older generations are more aware of the disorder- I think remarks from a person's close family and friends would be more the kind of comment which keeps people from seeking treatment.

Regardless of what people think or say, the fact remains we have ADHD. If tomorrow they call it hyper, I'll start calling it Hyper, as long as I still get my meds. I have no loyalty to anyone else's opinion of my legitimacy- I know who I am.

It is recognized in the AU. Medication can be prescribed for it. They are not going to outlaw the meds or stop prescribing them anytime soon, the drug company lobbyists will take care of that for us. Isn't that all the recognition and legitimacy we need? They say it's a legit disorder, invest in researching it, and offer us treatments and invest in creating new ones. Help is being offered to people. Through a very human mix of greed, hope, and curiosity, people are doing better. If they choose not to take help and overcome, that's on them.

ps- I do like the idea of becoming organized (and therein lies the trouble with our disorder) but comparing gay rights to ADHD discrimination is overzealous, don't you think? People kill gay people for being gay.

Ganjin
04-22-14, 07:10 AM
That doesn't seem right, you put them there yourself. I have pointed out they're there, but you're the one who climbed up. :)

I understand Keith. You're a hard guy surrounded by wusses. On top of that, you can read minds. The rest of us are softies looking for any chance to feel victimized. If only we could suck it up and be more like you.

TygerSan
04-22-14, 10:11 AM
One of the things that really pushes my buttons is people telling other people to stop being so sensitive.

How many of us would tell someone on this forum to stop being so ADD? If so, I think you might have made a wrong turn on the internet somewhere.

If I had a dime for every time I was told I was being too sensitive, overreacting, acting inappropriately, I'd be a ******* millionaire by now. That doesn't change the fact that the way that I felt at that particular moment was *all me*. Telling me to suck it up meant that I didn't trust how I was feeling *at all*.

The consequences of that were a borderline abusive relationship in which I was never sure if I was allowed to feel the way I was feeling, or whether I was overreacting again, and a total inability to feel anything without questioning its validity.

Everyone has a different emotional discomfort tolerance threshold. Just like some people can walk for miles on a broken ankle and not notice it's broken, some people can shrug off stupid comments. Other people can't even wear socks without their feet killing them.

Clearly, the way the professor made the comment rubbed the OP the wrong way. If it were a one-off comment, personally, I probably would've let it go (of course that's the consequence of not being very assertive at all, and being very conflict averse :rolleyes: )

The thing about these comments is that they have a way of getting under your skin. If you only here one or two of them a day, you can probably shrug it off. If you hear them day in and day out, they start to really rankle. It's the sum total of the ignorant comments, not any one in isolation.

I can't remember where I read it, but I've heard it likened to each comment being a glass of water poured over your head. The first stupid comment, you get a little wet. It's a bit uncomfortable, but you can probably shrug it off no problem. But the little comments add up till you've had the sum-total of a gallon of water poured over your head? Then you're probably soaked, cold, and miserable.

Likewise, I think that each individual reacts to the comments differently. Some of us may develop blisters and raw, exposed skin, so that each additional jab is a jolt of pure agony. Others develop a hard callous so that even the deepest pressure fails to produce a reaction anymore.

Stevuke79
04-22-14, 11:15 AM
I never know how to judge right or wrong for anyone outside of myself. As far as more objective observations, his statement was ignorant, unprofessional and unfortunately par for the course.

Right or wrong depends upon how he personally feels about being ignorant or unprofessional. I wouldn't know without asking him.

ginniebean
04-22-14, 12:29 PM
What we go through because of our ADHD and what Rosa Parks went through does not even approach comparable. People do not hang us from trees.

You know what? Mental illness is the most stigmatized of all disabilities.

The comparison is not perfect but it is not way off. Discrimination exists.

Maybe you have just adhd but for 80% of us comorbids come with. I have been jobless and homeless.

Have you not noticed a lot of homeless are mentally ill? Have you not noticed the homeless die?

http://www.childhelp.org/pages/mother-convicted-of-strangling-girl-after-tantrum

I'm sick to ******* death of people going "I'm sorry for my adhd inconveniencing you" as if it's something WE have to apologise for

NO one has ended discrimination without push back, not women, not blacks, not gays!

People with adhd die, people with adhd have comorbidites that can truly mess them up and their lives.

We generally can't be open about it we have to hide! Accomodations at work? We're a LONG way from that even being close to accepted.

It may just be one ******* comment. But it was a lot of ******* comments put together where a boss would feel a woman was too sensitive for his comments about her tits. Now, that just doesn't happen.

Calling a woman sitting on a daughter she held down and strangled who she only days before said "our lives would be better without her" an ACCIDENT is evidence, there's so much more evidence but no one hears about it.

The suicides, the bullying, the constant suspicion of delinquency, negative moral attributions, that we're faking, etc..

You hear it all the time "they can make you crazy" "it's understandable you abused him/her"

People with disabilities are abused at alarming rates, it goes undetected and no one's listing. Yeah, it's time to TURN UP THE VOLUME.


I'm pretty sure Rosa would agree with me.

Abi
04-22-14, 02:10 PM
I'm sorry you're so sensitive, you should probably work on not being so sensitive. Crawl down off that cross, you don't need to make yourself a martyr.

Okay Uncle Keith. We'll do that. :faint:

Abi
04-22-14, 02:11 PM
You know what? Mental illness is the most stigmatized of all disabilities.

The comparison is not perfect but it is not way off. Discrimination exists.

Maybe you have just adhd but for 80% of us comorbids come with. I have been jobless and homeless.

Have you not noticed a lot of homeless are mentally ill? Have you not noticed the homeless die?

http://www.childhelp.org/pages/mother-convicted-of-strangling-girl-after-tantrum

I'm sick to ******* death of people going "I'm sorry for my adhd inconveniencing you" as if it's something WE have to apologise for

NO one has ended discrimination without push back, not women, not blacks, not gays!

People with adhd die, people with adhd have comorbidites that can truly mess them up and their lives.

We generally can't be open about it we have to hide! Accomodations at work? We're a LONG way from that even being close to accepted.

It may just be one ******* comment. But it was a lot of ******* comments put together where a boss would feel a woman was too sensitive for his comments about her tits. Now, that just doesn't happen.

Calling a woman sitting on a daughter she held down and strangled who she only days before said "our lives would be better without her" an ACCIDENT is evidence, there's so much more evidence but no one hears about it.

The suicides, the bullying, the constant suspicion of delinquency, negative moral attributions, that we're faking, etc..

You hear it all the time "they can make you crazy" "it's understandable you abused him/her"

People with disabilities are abused at alarming rates, it goes undetected and no one's listing. Yeah, it's time to TURN UP THE VOLUME.


I'm pretty sure Rosa would agree with me.

Quoted for truth.

Ganjin
04-22-14, 04:02 PM
It is recognized in the AU. Medication can be prescribed for it. They are not going to outlaw the meds or stop prescribing them anytime soon, the drug company lobbyists will take care of that for us. Isn't that all the recognition and legitimacy we need?

What people "need" is not the same as what we should aim for. Not as individuals nor as a society. As a professor at a university speaking in front of a room full of students, this fellow the OP describes should meet a higher standard than others.

Ganjin
04-22-14, 04:05 PM
I never know how to judge right or wrong for anyone outside of myself. As far as more objective observations, his statement was ignorant, unprofessional and unfortunately par for the course.

Right or wrong depends upon how he personally feels about being ignorant or unprofessional. I wouldn't know without asking him.

Since I'm in the same profession, I'm more comfortable judging the guys actions than I might be in other circumstances.

AshT
04-22-14, 04:11 PM
One of the things that really pushes my buttons is people telling other people to stop being so sensitive.

How many of us would tell someone on this forum to stop being so ADD? If so, I think you might have made a wrong turn on the internet somewhere.

If I had a dime for every time I was told I was being too sensitive, overreacting, acting inappropriately, I'd be a ******* millionaire by now. That doesn't change the fact that the way that I felt at that particular moment was *all me*. Telling me to suck it up meant that I didn't trust how I was feeling *at all*.

The consequences of that were a borderline abusive relationship in which I was never sure if I was allowed to feel the way I was feeling, or whether I was overreacting again, and a total inability to feel anything without questioning its validity.

Everyone has a different emotional discomfort tolerance threshold. Just like some people can walk for miles on a broken ankle and not notice it's broken, some people can shrug off stupid comments. Other people can't even wear socks without their feet killing them.

Clearly, the way the professor made the comment rubbed the OP the wrong way. If it were a one-off comment, personally, I probably would've let it go (of course that's the consequence of not being very assertive at all, and being very conflict averse :rolleyes: )

The thing about these comments is that they have a way of getting under your skin. If you only here one or two of them a day, you can probably shrug it off. If you hear them day in and day out, they start to really rankle. It's the sum total of the ignorant comments, not any one in isolation.

I can't remember where I read it, but I've heard it likened to each comment being a glass of water poured over your head. The first stupid comment, you get a little wet. It's a bit uncomfortable, but you can probably shrug it off no problem. But the little comments add up till you've had the sum-total of a gallon of water poured over your head? Then you're probably soaked, cold, and miserable.

Likewise, I think that each individual reacts to the comments differently. Some of us may develop blisters and raw, exposed skin, so that each additional jab is a jolt of pure agony. Others develop a hard callous so that even the deepest pressure fails to produce a reaction anymore.


Everyone is sensitive about something, ADHD or not. I completely agree with you, people shouldn't be told to dismiss their feelings as irrelevant. They are not.



The thing about these comments is that they have a way of getting under your skin. If you only here one or two of them a day, you can probably shrug it off. If you hear them day in and day out, they start to really rankle. It's the sum total of the ignorant comments, not any one in isolation.

I can't remember where I read it, but I've heard it likened to each comment being a glass of water poured over your head. The first stupid comment, you get a little wet. It's a bit uncomfortable, but you can probably shrug it off no problem. But the little comments add up till you've had the sum-total of a gallon of water poured over your head? Then you're probably soaked, cold, and miserable.
Why not try and remove the glass?
Rather than just getting a rain coat.
A rain coat won't stop the water flowing, it will splash onto others and others will be affected. It will still be there when you take the coat off.

Remove the glass, remove the problem. But, this takes time, and it takes patience, and courage to openly speak about these issues with people. It won't change overnight, but each person corrected is one small drop in the ocean.

We can't choose what we are emotionally sensitive too, but we can still choose what we do afterwards. I.e speaking to the person who has made such comments, explaining and helping reduce such ignorance.

Imo, we're generally getting angry about ignorance and being ignorant ourselves. We don't know the upbringing of the other person making the comments, their experiences, their awareness, their intentions. And yet we're judging them as ignorant idiots!? How do we know that's the case? What if, the persons making such comments have ADHD themselves, have been through hell and making jokes is the only way they feel better about it? And, they simply don't realise the affect on other people with ADHD?


What would we want instead?


Set of strict guidelines about what teachers can and can't say, just incase they offend someone. These all have to be memorised and tested.
No mention of ADHD in the classroom. AT ALL. The teacher is only allowed to answer questions about adhd, in which case they are instructed to direct the pupil to the disability office for more information.

Really??


I'd still, much sooner have jokes and mentions of adhd to raise awareness than let my feelings of that. Open up class debate, encourage a class discussion! There are ways to turn the negatives here into a positives. However, we're all talking very broadly here. Comments and jokes vary, some are always going to be completely unacceptable no matter what way you look at it.

And, some people are just plain ignorant pricks. Doesn't matter what you explain to them, they'll keep their close minded views. But, i've personally learnt that fighting against these people is a waste of energy and better spent on people actually willing to learn.

I fully understand the implications of jokes, I don't fully agree with the professor or generally anyone making comments. But, I just feel there are bigger fish to fry here.

AshT
04-22-14, 04:14 PM
You know what? Mental illness is the most stigmatized of all disabilities.

The comparison is not perfect but it is not way off. Discrimination exists.

Maybe you have just adhd but for 80% of us comorbids come with. I have been jobless and homeless.

Have you not noticed a lot of homeless are mentally ill? Have you not noticed the homeless die?

http://www.childhelp.org/pages/mother-convicted-of-strangling-girl-after-tantrum

I'm sick to ******* death of people going "I'm sorry for my adhd inconveniencing you" as if it's something WE have to apologise for

NO one has ended discrimination without push back, not women, not blacks, not gays!

People with adhd die, people with adhd have comorbidites that can truly mess them up and their lives.

We generally can't be open about it we have to hide! Accomodations at work? We're a LONG way from that even being close to accepted.

It may just be one ******* comment. But it was a lot of ******* comments put together where a boss would feel a woman was too sensitive for his comments about her tits. Now, that just doesn't happen.

Calling a woman sitting on a daughter she held down and strangled who she only days before said "our lives would be better without her" an ACCIDENT is evidence, there's so much more evidence but no one hears about it.

The suicides, the bullying, the constant suspicion of delinquency, negative moral attributions, that we're faking, etc..

You hear it all the time "they can make you crazy" "it's understandable you abused him/her"

People with disabilities are abused at alarming rates, it goes undetected and no one's listing. Yeah, it's time to TURN UP THE VOLUME.


I'm pretty sure Rosa would agree with me.

Why do we have to hide?

ginniebean
04-22-14, 04:54 PM
Why do we have to hide?

People who disclose a disability are legally protected IN THEORY. Ask on this forum should I disclose? Unless you've just never seen all the stories about being fired on one thing or another due to increased scrutiny, etc???

I certainly could look for empirical date on disclosing disability and discrimination.. but, maybe people should do a bit of digging themselves sometimes.

Trooper Keith
04-22-14, 09:23 PM
Yeah, if only someone had told Rosa Parks to get off her cross, I mean it's only a few steps to the back.

Clearly this is a reasonable equivalency, and made entirely in earnest, and comments implying "people with ADD don't attend well" in jest is exactly equivalent to institutionalized racism and the literal establishment of second class citizens.

I'm glad you were able to make this good faith argument. Surely, the professor is basically Herman Goering, amirite?

ginniebean
04-22-14, 11:03 PM
Clearly this is a reasonable equivalency, and made entirely in earnest, and comments implying "people with ADD don't attend well" in jest is exactly equivalent to institutionalized racism and the literal establishment of second class citizens.

I'm glad you were able to make this good faith argument. Surely, the professor is basically Herman Goering, amirite?


No, actually it's much closer to institutional sexism by saying 'nice tits'. And women were told not to be so 'sensitive'.

AshT
04-23-14, 12:09 PM
People who disclose a disability are legally protected IN THEORY. Ask on this forum should I disclose? Unless you've just never seen all the stories about being fired on one thing or another due to increased scrutiny, etc???

I certainly could look for empirical date on disclosing disability and discrimination.. but, maybe people should do a bit of digging themselves sometimes.

I just don't see why those are reasons enough to hide. I can understand when your first take a job or interviews, or something. But that's because we have to work with people's first impressions or judgement. We want them to have a clear perspective and see you as a person. But, it's no reason to hide after?

I just don't understand the need to hide, I don't think it helps the ADHD community in the grand scheme of things, at all. Not saying we shouldn't hide, or there are circumstances we shouldn't...i'm just generally failing to see why overall or generally, we have to.

finallyfound10
04-23-14, 01:01 PM
I think that the Prof. was being insensitive out of his ignorance of several things which he needs to be educated about. I am an Inattentive so I am not Hyperactive so he doesn't know about that which is truly one of the biggest hidden facts about the disorder. I graduated with BS in Elementary Education in the early 90's and didn't know about it until I was diagnosed 4 years ago!!! He also doesn't know how debilitating it is and how sensitive (see rejection sensitive dysphoria) we can be due to ADHD.

I'm big on educating people about it. Maybe you can send him some info anonymously so as not to affect your grade but still help him not to be so ignorant and save fellow students hurt feelings.

Stevuke79
04-23-14, 01:06 PM
When you ask "why do we have to hide" youre implying if we dont announce our adhd, we're hiding. Thats a false dichotomy. It is not the case that we must disclose our adhd unless we have a reason not to UNLESS there is a good reason to disclose in the first place.

So whats the reason to disclose?

ginniebean
04-23-14, 01:21 PM
I just don't see why those are reasons enough to hide. I can understand when your first take a job or interviews, or something. But that's because we have to work with people's first impressions or judgement. We want them to have a clear perspective and see you as a person. But, it's no reason to hide after?

I just don't understand the need to hide, I don't think it helps the ADHD community in the grand scheme of things, at all. Not saying we shouldn't hide, or there are circumstances we shouldn't...i'm just generally failing to see why overall or generally, we have to.

I was very open about it at one job I had. I'm quite visibly adhd. Anyone looking for it would guess. I loved the job and I was very good at it. But one of my coworkers was very controlling and took a dislike to me. She would routinely reorganize so I couldn't find things, she made comments to my boss, she distracted me when I had important things to do. The amount of things she did to trip me up and drive me insane. No amount of talking to her, confronting her did the least bit of good.

Unfortunately disclosure gives people the power of your symptoms and in many cases the increased scrutiny gets used against you.

I know I'm not alone, people are driven out of work by a choice between nervous breakdown, quit, or be fired. It is so routine there are many articles about this systemic discrimination problem. Even companies don't know how to address it.

Post secondary accommodation are often seen as privilege instead of removal of access barriers. Increased scrutiny can and does lead to comments of malingering. I personally per from poorly under scrutiny because it increases my anxiety.

Coworkers can't wrap their heads around access accommodations complaining of special treatment. For businesses this is a morale issue and they are leery of it.

Mental illness frightens people thanks to an irresponsible media. The stigma and discrimination is routine and systemic. I would put up articles for you but i'm on my phone.

Hiding, covering for our disabilities won't end without push back because push back educates people. People have only misconceptions about invisible disability and are highly skeptical, and beyond this they feel they have the right to be and to scrutinize your behaviour and make a determination of your ability based on their own prejudicial ignorance.

This is where we are today. Most of us will have children and grandchildren with adhd. Is this what we want for them? I'm tired of children feeling crushed and broken by negative attribution over their symptoms. It is heartbreaking and so unnecessary.

So, colour me sensitive.

And I love you Keith you hard headed brat!

Lunacie
04-23-14, 02:05 PM
What we go through because of our ADHD and what Rosa Parks went through does not even approach comparable. People do not hang us from trees.

No, we go away and quietly commit suicide, eh? :umm1:

Trooper Keith
04-23-14, 07:44 PM
Hahaha oh goodness, that's over the top. Y'all crazy. Peace.

AshT
04-23-14, 08:43 PM
I was very open about it at one job I had. I'm quite visibly adhd. Anyone looking for it would guess. I loved the job and I was very good at it. But one of my coworkers was very controlling and took a dislike to me. She would routinely reorganize so I couldn't find things, she made comments to my boss, she distracted me when I had important things to do. The amount of things she did to trip me up and drive me insane. No amount of talking to her, confronting her did the least bit of good.

Unfortunately disclosure gives people the power of your symptoms and in many cases the increased scrutiny gets used against you.

I know I'm not alone, people are driven out of work by a choice between nervous breakdown, quit, or be fired. It is so routine there are many articles about this systemic discrimination problem. Even companies don't know how to address it.

Post secondary accommodation are often seen as privilege instead of removal of access barriers. Increased scrutiny can and does lead to comments of malingering. I personally per from poorly under scrutiny because it increases my anxiety.

Coworkers can't wrap their heads around access accommodations complaining of special treatment. For businesses this is a morale issue and they are leery of it.

Mental illness frightens people thanks to an irresponsible media. The stigma and discrimination is routine and systemic. I would put up articles for you but i'm on my phone.

Hiding, covering for our disabilities won't end without push back because push back educates people. People have only misconceptions about invisible disability and are highly skeptical, and beyond this they feel they have the right to be and to scrutinize your behaviour and make a determination of your ability based on their own prejudicial ignorance.

This is where we are today. Most of us will have children and grandchildren with adhd. Is this what we want for them? I'm tired of children feeling crushed and broken by negative attribution over their symptoms. It is heartbreaking and so unnecessary.

So, colour me sensitive.

And I love you Keith you hard headed brat!

I wasn't trying to color you anything =). I was simply trying to understand where you were coming, with no judgement, because I didn't understand. That was all! :).

I was very open about it at one job I had. I'm quite visibly adhd. Anyone looking for it would guess. I loved the job and I was very good at it. But one of my coworkers was very controlling and took a dislike to me. She would routinely reorganize so I couldn't find things, she made comments to my boss, she distracted me when I had important things to do. The amount of things she did to trip me up and drive me insane. No amount of talking to her, confronting her did the least bit of good.

Unfortunately disclosure gives people the power of your symptoms and in many cases the increased scrutiny gets used against you. I'm really sorry about your job, it must have been a horrible experience to be around someone like that. Some people are sadistic pricks; but whether you had ADHD or not, they'd probably be doing the same thing to others! Even if they have no condition. Some people are just nasty. It has nothing to do with you!

Disclosure of anything gives people power over you! I learnt that, I disclosed some things in my childhood and someone decided to cleverly use that against me! He made up lies about all the stuff he was going through, based on my childhood so he'd grab my attention and i'd automatically feel able to empathise with what he was going through. I put my degree on the line to help him. When I realized he was lying and eventually tried to break contact I ended up with a full blown stalker and death threats. The university had to get involved and offer me security backwards and forwards.

Disclosure opens us all up, whether it's ADHD or talking about some past experience. Please, don't let some psycho freak affect or get to you enough to change you!

This is where we are today. Most of us will have children and grandchildren with adhd. Is this what we want for them? I'm tired of children feeling crushed and broken by negative attribution over their symptoms. It is heartbreaking and so unnecessary. But, how will hiding make this any better for them?

Call me weird, but I know being open will cause me personal issues and problems and pain. I have a mum who went through nervous breakdowns, twice(and was hospitalized), and on the second instance it was due to fighting disability discrimination. Fighting to get help for my brother, constantly told that she had mental issues and she was the problem behind my brothers behavior(aspergers). She consequently tried to commit suicide a few times. She battled, for 4 years.

Oh, and you want to know how far they went? They didn't just bring up her history and problems. They delved into our entire families. She has 6 siblings with adhd/autism/schizophrenia. Can you imagine the juice they found to use against her?

The sad part is, she's one of the best parents I know of. She completely amazing and I have so much to be thankful for. She's strong, she's been through hell i've never even come close to reading in books. There is more to the truth than just the facts; all they saw was that she had been previously hospitalized. So, she must be the cause for my brothers problems right?

Discriminated against, just for having a "mental health condition". Me and my brother were being threatened into foster care when she was doing nothing wrong. She was only trying to seek help!

4 years on, she now gives talks on what it's like to have autism, ADHD and aspergers. She gives visual talks and experiences to try to convey what is is actually like, none of these textbook craps. Recently she gave a presentation to a room full of psychologists dealing with adhd/autism.

Her experience and watching what our family went through inspired me for my university project to create an "Autism Simulator" - to teach people about autism and raise awareness. I'll be doing the same for ADHD next.

Don't get me wrong Ginnie. I know disclosing disabilities comes with pain, I know first hand. For myself at least, I just don't care. I'll go through it in hope of creating something for the better future. To prevent exactly this:

I'm tired of children feeling crushed and broken by negative attribution over their symptoms. It is heartbreaking and so unnecessary. And I have no judgement on people who choose not to be open. Everyone should have their own choice and that choice should not be scrutinized. We all have different experiences, different goals.

So, thankyou for explaining why some people may choose to do that, it's good to have at least, some of that understanding :).

sarahsweets
04-24-14, 05:03 AM
A couple of things I try to remember. I try not to let things bother me when they have no merit, although this is easier said then done. I try my best to offer useful information but very often no matter how useful I think it is, it falls on deaf ears. I avoid disclosing alot of things because its nobody's f**king business and if it doesnt pertain exactly to a situation that I am in, and disclosing it will directly impact the immediate future, then I wont say anything. I am on bipolar meds and an alcoholic. You should see how much fun that is when you have to go to the ER for undiagnosed pain, and the first thing people think is is she crazy and looking to get high? Its easier to to find fault then a solution. This has caused me to need emergency gallbladder surgery and hernia repair because people were too busy looking for my motive and missing important clues. Oh and I have a precancerous condition, that was missed too because doctors thought the stress was causing me acid reflux. My point is, that people are as*holes and no matter how often explain stuff to them, they will still be as*holes because for some people being an as*hole and ignorant comes alot easier for them then being tolerant and educated.

AshT
04-24-14, 09:53 AM
A couple of things I try to remember. I try not to let things bother me when they have no merit, although this is easier said then done. I try my best to offer useful information but very often no matter how useful I think it is, it falls on deaf ears. I avoid disclosing alot of things because its nobody's f**king business and if it doesnt pertain exactly to a situation that I am in, and disclosing it will directly impact the immediate future, then I wont say anything. I am on bipolar meds and an alcoholic. You should see how much fun that is when you have to go to the ER for undiagnosed pain, and the first thing people think is is she crazy and looking to get high? Its easier to to find fault then a solution. This has caused me to need emergency gallbladder surgery and hernia repair because people were too busy looking for my motive and missing important clues. Oh and I have a precancerous condition, that was missed too because doctors thought the stress was causing me acid reflux. My point is, that people are as*holes and no matter how often explain stuff to them, they will still be as*holes because for some people being an as*hole and ignorant comes alot easier for them then being tolerant and educated.
What ********! So hard to find/seek help when you automatically know you're going to be judged. It's even worse in the mental health/hospital department, those judgements can directly lead to something bad, they can't just be ignored and brushed off!
And I guess there's no choice not to disclose if one wanted to, it's on file for all to see!

Trooper Keith
04-24-14, 11:00 PM
One way for sure to know that someone will be an as*hole is to start the conversation assuming they're going to be one.

yellowflowers
05-06-14, 04:07 PM
What an idiot, it's most definitely wrong - and discrimatory ...which I could spell that :p .... But it is, the discrim... thing!!!

Kunga Dorji
05-09-14, 02:52 AM
It is recognized in the AU. Medication can be prescribed for it. They are not going to outlaw the meds or stop prescribing them anytime soon,

The push to do just this is far more systematic and aggressive than you may have noticed--- maybe you weren't paying attention :)
Speaking as a doctor who has to find compliant psychiatrists to help my patients (stimulants cannot be prescribed without that permission from a psychiatrist) I know that getting access to treatment for my patients is a very difficult job.
Even without outlawing it the vast majority of ADHD adults in Australia simply do not have access to treatment- either through difficulty in accessing or paying for treatment, or through being psyched into the myth that ADHD does not exist.

The whole ADHD controversy is a great game here-- pretend it is all about dead beat parents and children who just need a good smack on the b*m and you can sell lots of newspapers. It is controversial, it gives the self righteous the pleasure of feeling more self righteous, and it gives the 'law and order" buffs in the political process another fantasy to play off in their game of gaining greater political power.

Even when people do come to treatment they have to then run the gauntlet of outright skepticism hostility and fear coming from their own partners and parents.

Today, 5 years and 7 months after I was diagnosed, now I amat a stage where I have nearly fully outgrown the need for stimulants my mother actually deigned to stop being skeptical about the damn thing and ask me "what is ADHD like?"


ps- I do like the idea of becoming organized (and therein lies the trouble with our disorder) but comparing gay rights to ADHD discrimination is overzealous, don't you think? People kill gay people for being gay.

They don't need to kill us,
The consequences of untreated ADHD are often fatal for many of us- without anyone actually pulling the trigger.
Just look at Barkely's data (While I disagree with his thoughts about causation, I have no argument with the statistics he has collected about the seriousness of ADHD. Amongst conditions listed in the DSM, ADHD ranks only behind schizophrenia and Bipolar 1 in terms of poor life outcomes.

Kunga Dorji
05-09-14, 02:54 AM
No, we go away and quietly commit suicide, eh? :umm1:

Correct-- impulsive behaviour is the number one risk factor for suicide- and it combines very badly with the realistic depression and despair that goes hand in hand with repeated ADHD induced failures.

Kunga Dorji
05-09-14, 03:00 AM
One of the things that really pushes my buttons is people telling other people to stop being so sensitive.

How many of us would tell someone on this forum to stop being so ADD? If so, I think you might have made a wrong turn on the internet somewhere.

If I had a dime for every time I was told I was being too sensitive, overreacting, acting inappropriately, I'd be a ******* millionaire by now. That doesn't change the fact that the way that I felt at that particular moment was *all me*. Telling me to suck it up meant that I didn't trust how I was feeling *at all*.

The consequences of that were a borderline abusive relationship in which I was never sure if I was allowed to feel the way I was feeling, or whether I was overreacting again, and a total inability to feel anything without questioning its validity.

Everyone has a different emotional discomfort tolerance threshold. Just like some people can walk for miles on a broken ankle and not notice it's broken, some people can shrug off stupid comments. Other people can't even wear socks without their feet killing them.

Clearly, the way the professor made the comment rubbed the OP the wrong way. If it were a one-off comment, personally, I probably would've let it go (of course that's the consequence of not being very assertive at all, and being very conflict averse :rolleyes: )

The thing about these comments is that they have a way of getting under your skin. If you only here one or two of them a day, you can probably shrug it off. If you hear them day in and day out, they start to really rankle. It's the sum total of the ignorant comments, not any one in isolation.

I can't remember where I read it, but I've heard it likened to each comment being a glass of water poured over your head. The first stupid comment, you get a little wet. It's a bit uncomfortable, but you can probably shrug it off no problem. But the little comments add up till you've had the sum-total of a gallon of water poured over your head? Then you're probably soaked, cold, and miserable.

Likewise, I think that each individual reacts to the comments differently. Some of us may develop blisters and raw, exposed skin, so that each additional jab is a jolt of pure agony. Others develop a hard callous so that even the deepest pressure fails to produce a reaction anymore.

Sensitivity is and always has been a part of the syndrome of ADHD:
Check out this this little bit of ADHD history:
Alexander Crichton (Scottish physician 1763-1856) was the third person to describe a condition similar to the inattentive subtype of (ADHD), in his book An inquiry into the nature and origin of mental derangement: comprehending a concise system of the physiology and pathology of the human mind and a history of the passions and their effects (1798)


<dl><dd>"The incapacity of attending with a necessary degree of constancy to any one object, almost always arises from an unnatural or morbid sensibility of the nerves, by which means this faculty is incessantly withdrawn from one impression to another. It may be either born with a person, or it may be the effect of accidental diseases.</dd><dd>"When born with a person it becomes evident at a very early period of life, and has a very bad effect, inasmuch as it renders him incapable of attending with constancy to any one object of education. But it seldom is in so great a degree as totally to impede all instruction; and what is very fortunate, it is generally diminished with age." (p. 271)</dd></dl>Sensitivity is actually very much what ADHD is all about,
but to paraphrase Oscar Wilde:

"The only thing worse than being sensitive, is being insensitive (neurotypical) :D

I am more convinced than ever that the real solution is not to run from our sensitivity- but to embrace it!

Kunga Dorji
05-09-14, 03:05 AM
People who disclose a disability are legally protected IN THEORY. Ask on this forum should I disclose? Unless you've just never seen all the stories about being fired on one thing or another due to increased scrutiny, etc???

I certainly could look for empirical date on disclosing disability and discrimination.. but, maybe people should do a bit of digging themselves sometimes.


I know of at east one case-- but there is a strong case of ADHD denialism
(one of the more virulent versions of common stupidity) going about in Australia.
The person involved simply decided that enforcing his rights was more trouble than it was worth.
It was a wise choice.

MADD As A Hatte
05-16-14, 08:40 AM
Today in one of my classes we watched a boring movie, and the professor himself even said that he knows the movie is boring and he told us to control our ADD and to get out the ADD tendencies before we started the movie.

Also does it bother any one else when people make negative comments or jokes about ADD.

Yes. It bothers me. I'm in the process of a formal complaint about a lecturer ... various reasons, but the clinchers were:

(a) terminology such as "so, like, if you can't understand my slides, like, here's the Moron's guide" (explaining a fundamental scientific process);

(b) multiply demeaning statements, in response to class questions, long the lines of "oh, CHECK YOUR NOTES, I've told you that a THOUSAND times"; and

(c) an email, to me, in which he suggested I raise [my question] in the next tutorial "if you remember it", implying I'm a moron with dementia! **** off!

The details arent important. The concept IS. He's there to engage us in learning, not make me, or anyone else. feel stupid. Im 52 years old. Im livin' the dream, finally, all these years later, of slogging it out in the library to get HD's in a psyche degree. I'm racking up a significant HECS debt (student loan).

****** if Im gonna pay to be insulted by a failed zoologist, who's venting his academic spleen on first year uni students!!