View Full Version : Here we go. Just trying to vent out.


GrdZNJ
04-18-14, 10:37 AM
A little about me. I am a 28 yrs old male. married to a 29, adhd guy.

I have some anger problems which I have been treated, still get some outbursts here and there. But not as bad as I used to. It is very hard for me to express myself verbally, but find it somehow easily when I write it down. Found out about it when I was on anger management treatment.

I am a very hyperactive person, always like to be doing something. Unless I am watching tv. I overthink things. Which it can be a good or a bad thing. I always try to fund solutions to things way before I start a task. I get zoned out if someone is telling me too much information at a time, or annoyed when someone answer with a lot of unnecessary information when is a yes or no question. But that is usually when I am doing something. I usually try to take everything with the importance level that I feel it should be. I have a daily routine that's starts way early in the morning.

And even though large crowds freak me out, to the point of me hyperventilating. I have the wonderful joy of working with lots of people in a short period of time. (4hrs=200+ ppl who I need to take care of myself.) I get lots of stress and very demanding job. At the end of the day I am just exhausted and probably would need a 15-20 mins nap and I will feel recharged.

I am a very lonesome person ever since I was a kid. Always picked on and bitted up for it. From my parents, siblings, family, friends and stramgers. I was raised with many privileges. $$$ no more than that. I was to be tge perfect child and behave always and always do what I was told. Maids and nannys took care of me since I was born. My dad was never a fatherly figure to me at all. Would see hime 2weeks peryear and then he will fly away. My mom with her husiness would see her after 7pm and then off to bed.

I grew up with different religions was baptized catholic. Did the first communion there as well. Later there was a jehovah witness influence. Then we where protestants and later on my mom took us to a high society church, very exclusive. All that while I was going to a catholic school. Alwats questioned the existence of a higher power (gog) since I was 7.

Right arounf the same time I noticed that girls weren't interesteing for me. So I am a gay atheist hehehe. Always tried to look the acceptance from my parents and friends but that was a waste of time.

At the age of 10 my father had a car accident that left him with his entire hip broken and kis entire leg. I helped with everything I could. emptying his bed pan, helping him bathe, whatever I could help I would do it. Then when I was 12 they filed for bankruptcy and had to start getting rid of everything. All this was going on while we had to pretend to still have our social status.

We moved to a new city, country. Had to learn an new language. But before that I was left behind on my own with a maid and 2 cousins to take care of me. Then my dad came back to stay with me whole my mother and sister were working hard to sustain the family. A few months after he started cheating on my mother and wasn't able to talk either to my sister or mother at all. When I was able to talk to them I told them everything and my mother came back and took him with him.

Leaving me alone once more. Then my sister came back to take care of me, but never was able to see her. And then it was my turn to come to live with them and start my new life. Will continue... have something to do now.

namazu
04-18-14, 10:48 AM
Welcome to ADDF!

Sounds like you've had a lot to deal with, even before you throw in the ADHD spouse...

Hope you'll find the support you're looking for here.

- Namazu

MX2012
04-19-14, 04:03 PM
Hi GrdZNJ -- Welcome, keep venting, would like to hear more.