View Full Version : Trying to understand her

looking for ans
05-03-14, 02:02 PM
I have been seeing her for the last 4 months I am also 12 years older than her which she has openly admitted to struggling with but she accepted, and she has been totally upfront with me about her condition. Everything had been going great until recently where she had ran out of her medication for a few days and when she started taking them again she lost intrest in me and couldn't tell me why when I asked her if anything was wrong. All she could tell me is she just has no intrest in hanging out. Is this a result of ADHD or the medication?

05-03-14, 05:45 PM
I can't tell... Could you be more vague?

05-03-14, 07:12 PM
Welcome to the forum...

Everything you've said can be taken in so many different ways that I'm finding it very difficult to make an intelligent answer or comment on any of it.

05-04-14, 04:02 PM
It could be that the break from medication made her well... inattentive, including when it comes to you. Sometimes I never have any interest in anything or anyone besides my daydreams. Or maybe she's feeling weird and doesn't want you to see her like that. Or maybe it's something totally different...

05-04-14, 06:37 PM
Welcome to the forum.

Like others said - with very little information it is hard to know. Could be hard to know WITH a lot of information. Perhaps she is embarrassed and didn't like how you saw her without medication? Is her medication the same as before? maybe it's a new medication and it affects her differently? Maybe it's just a coincidence and she has just lost interest and is moving on. I guess you can just try asking her straight out, see what she says and then make a decision of the future of your relationship based on the answer.

Good luck.

05-07-14, 04:24 PM
Sometimes I like some space and I've been married for 21 years. I'm not diagnosed or medicated. We have 4 children and our eldest daughter has a very low tolerance for close contact. She never wants a hug, doesn't even want someone sitting too close.
I am 100% sure she is ADD though. Like me, not diagnosed and medicated, but that all belongs in other threads.

Maybe your girlfriend went on a med break and she wasn't yet topped up enough for a constantly stable level? Could be that simple so don't think the worst yet. Don't try to discuss it with her unless she is back level again. It won't be a good conversation and she would likely get testy and back away.

05-07-14, 04:47 PM
Women are confusing and dating younger girls for me never worked out. (that's me not you)
Who know if it is ADD or something else. I have been seeing a girl that is 13 years older than me for 4 years and I swear she cannot commit. She nor I have seen anyone else in the 4 years we have been together. i gave up on figuring it out 3 years ago.

05-09-14, 04:26 PM
A lot of side-effects can happen if someone stops or starts medication suddenly. It can lead to a lack of energy, depression (short term), loss of interest, etc. This is what happened to me when I started my medication without weaning into it. I also notice it slightly if I miss a day.

Of course it also depends on what she's taking and how long the hiatus lasted.

05-24-14, 10:55 AM
Hi LFA, I suppose I'm in a similar situation as you, insofar as my wife is 8 years younger than me. There are some things that can be simply chalked up to being younger, but also I've noticed some things with my wife's medication.

If she takes a few days off "or a med holiday" she can become very inattentive, as Corina suggested. When she starts back up again, it's a few days before she can really be more attentive to our relationship. So yes, it could very well be a combination of ADHD and the medication which could be causing her to not want to hang out. Has she given you any signs that it could be otherwise?

My suggestion would be to step back and give her some space, while still keeping in contact with her. Tell her that's what you're doing. It's very possible that's all she needs, and will appreciate the thoughtfulness of letting her sort things out without the added pressure of trying to be fully functional right away.