View Full Version : Random I know- 30 days


PolaBear
05-05-14, 07:42 PM
Hey people

Said it a few times since finding these forums, but some of the things that I have seen put into words on here are things iv struggled with for a long time, and heard things from some great people.

Anyway, bit random I know and I get that it's not giving much away, but tonight iv decided that it would be better to not have something influencing my life. Don't want to get into what it is (it's cool, nothing illegal or wrong) but I know that if I can go 30 days without this thing it will be a big step. Made a start to end it tonight, day 14 will be a big one, and then 30 will be done with (that's the goal).

Wrote this on here as I wanted to make a statement that I'm doing this, and achieve it finally. Any thoughts are all good.

Thanks everyone

Unmanagable
05-05-14, 08:31 PM
Wishing you much success with your journey. Each minute that passes count, so don't forget to give yourself credit for each one.

PolaBear
05-06-14, 04:30 AM
Thanks, just woke up here, guess this is day 1, have started this many times only to fall back into it, this time will be different.

PolaBear
05-06-14, 06:36 AM
Guess being on here is like having 1000 sponsors! Feel ok so far it's cool, know it will be tougher but the idea is to be BUSY till it's done.

wyleops
05-06-14, 10:55 AM
Sending good thoughts your way. Stay strong!

Unmanagable
05-06-14, 12:46 PM
Hot damn!! You're kicking Day 1's a** already. Good job!!!! :D

Be sure to purposely include quality down time/nurturing time amongst the busy, and often, or you'll probably get overwhelmed pretty quickly.

Do lots of deep breathing exercises throughout your day, everywhere you go, and stay aware of your body (we tense up and react to so many things w/o realizing it, a lot).

Healthier distractions that make your heart smile help a lot, too. Try to make as much of an adventure out of it all as you can so it doesn't seem so much like a chore.

Don't "should" all over yourself and don't chase the "what ifness" rabbits.

Give yourself a "hell yes I did" pat each time you make it over another hump.

ginniebean
05-06-14, 12:53 PM
Good luck!

PolaBear
05-06-14, 06:48 PM
One I thing I do know is this gets better as time goes on, iv done it before so I know, day one nearly done here. You are right in what you say about small targets, which is why day 14 is really important.

Thanks again, so far so good

BellaVita
05-06-14, 06:57 PM
You've got this!!!!! :D

PolaBear
05-07-14, 05:20 AM
Nobody said it was easy.....

Woke up really anxious, had a strange day yesterday in terms of of overtalking and acting a bit erratic, been there before with it. Getting to the weekend would be a good step, from experience there is now a crappy phase before the cloud lifts a bit. A bit like falling down so you can learn how to get up.

Thanks everyone for your posts, Day 2 starts today!

PolaBear
05-07-14, 06:29 AM
About to go to work, get the feeling it could be a tough day. Would love to just go get on with it, keep my distance, no distractions then get out of there, but if we could do that I guess most if us wouldn't be here!

PolaBear
05-07-14, 02:27 PM
Yeh was a tough day, haven't felt that way that strongly in a long time, just wandering here and there over talking and not getting too much done. It will and does get better, and iv been a lot stronger over the past year or so, something that even led me to this forum, but right now it's crappy. Wish I could just go somewhere for 30 days and "dry out", but have always had that feeling all my life, if only I could have time etc, it's an illusion.

PolaBear
05-07-14, 04:55 PM
Day 2 nearly done, still would love to just shut away for all these days but wouldn't be a good thing, just have to fight it out for now.

sarahsweets
05-08-14, 04:27 AM
One day at a time my friend!

PolaBear
05-08-14, 05:27 PM
Yeh this day blows.

Still overtalking at work, anyone else get a feeling where you know your anxious and messing up but still carry on talking and losing all sense of yourself. Almost like your people pleasing to cover up your unstable mind? Also fatigued as hell, having early night before day 4, smacking headache and a feeling I had for a very long time in my life. Guess now I at least have the knowledge of what it is, though I always get a fear that I'll never get back to the more stable feeling iv learned to adopt.

dvdnvwls
05-08-14, 05:36 PM
Over-talking and people-pleasing to cover up anxiety and instability - yes, that sounds like me sometimes.

BellaVita
05-08-14, 05:49 PM
Yeh this day blows.

Still overtalking at work, anyone else get a feeling where you know your anxious and messing up but still carry on talking and losing all sense of yourself. Almost like your people pleasing to cover up your unstable mind? Also fatigued as hell, having early night before day 4, smacking headache and a feeling I had for a very long time in my life. Guess now I at least have the knowledge of what it is, though I always get a fear that I'll never get back to the more stable feeling iv learned to adopt.

Yes, I'm quite familiar with this myself.

All the best. :grouphug:

PolaBear
05-09-14, 05:07 AM
Ok I'm up after a 11hr sleep, work today before 3 days off which will help. Glad it's not just me that does all that but at the same time know it's horrible for someone to have, you basically lose who you are and fight against becoming a walkover. Hate the feeling where socially and mindset wise you think "iv failed" but each day is a new day. Day 4 now.

PolaBear
05-09-14, 02:08 PM
So that's work done for 3 days, not going to be lazy but good to not have to go for a while.

PolaBear
05-10-14, 06:28 AM
Actually didn't feel too bad last night, long way to go but still moving forwards. Hate how iv acted socially but iv been there before, mixture of low stimulation and boredom along with anxiety can make you act a fool sometimes, but hoping that will shift pretty quick.

PolaBear
05-10-14, 08:46 PM
And now day 5, bit of a lazy day (another problem for another thread, one step at a time!) but another day done. Minds getting stronger from previous days which is all good.

PolaBear
05-11-14, 03:24 PM
Not a great day, car trouble so have had another lazy day, which then leads to thoughts of if I will ever sort this whole thing out. Not just the 30 days but my mind, adhd, job, life, everything. Ain't making a victim of it though, everyone here must have hard days with those thoughts, but my goal is to turn it into something that works, and make it work for me. Day 6 nearly done.

dvdnvwls
05-11-14, 04:28 PM
which then leads to thoughts of if I will ever sort this whole thing out. Not just the 30 days but my mind, adhd, job, life, everything.
I think we never sort the whole thing out. I think it's so daunting to try that it can be discouraging and even paralyzing.

My suggestion is to sort out the things you can, when you can, and to see sorting out everything for what it is - a nice ideal or fantasy that never really happens.

PolaBear
05-11-14, 08:49 PM
True but I want to improve, whole reason I came and found this here which has been a positive.Will be a week tomorrow which is a quarter done I suppose.

dvdnvwls
05-11-14, 08:55 PM
True but I want to improve, whole reason I came and found this here which has been a positive.Will be a week tomorrow which is a quarter done I suppose.
Of course!

Improve... not solve Life, the Universe, and Everything. :)

PolaBear
05-12-14, 12:23 PM
Read a quote the other day saying that if you are in the same place you were last year, last month or even yesterday you don't get the idea of life, always be moving forwards, and it's true. I found here, have got referred (taking ages) and have taken this 30 days issue on. I can do a lot more though.

PolaBear
05-15-14, 04:44 PM
Been off here for a couple of days, guess this would now be day 9. had things going on and still getting through, nearly at 14 days which will be a good step to reach. As momentum goes on do feel a bit stronger, still a long way to go.

PolaBear
05-16-14, 04:09 PM
Another day in the bank, haven't really focused too much on the adhd thing the past week or so, just tried to ride it out a bit, though is still getting nowhere. Always have this feeling of "ill sort it out in the future, tommorow,next day off etc which is ridiculous and procrastinating. Also still overtalking which I hate.

PolaBear
05-20-14, 06:15 PM
Done 14 days! A big step believe me, hasn't all been easy and right now am struggling mind wise with one thing and another (feel like I'm losing all iv built and learned to get me where I am with all this), but in terms of what I set out specifically I'm here. Now for 30 days, hope that I can get my mind back to a good place.

PolaBear
05-21-14, 07:10 PM
Lot I want to say so might write a couple of threads tomorrow, day 15 done, mind still not 100% but another day achieved.

PolaBear
05-22-14, 06:53 PM
Woke up today anxious in a way I haven't in a long while, horrible thing about that feeling, which I had for a long time is that it kills the part of you that looks forward, you just are trying to find a way not to be anxious in the moment while your mind is spinning, all your focus is on getting back to a place you don't feel as bad. There is no perspective or understanding at the time. Day done though.

sarahsweets
05-23-14, 05:13 AM
as corny as it sounds its one day at a time.


Woke up today anxious in a way I haven't in a long while, horrible thing about that feeling, which I had for a long time is that it kills the part of you that looks forward, you just are trying to find a way not to be anxious in the moment while your mind is spinning, all your focus is on getting back to a place you don't feel as bad. There is no perspective or understanding at the time. Day done though.

PolaBear
05-24-14, 05:09 AM
Yeh, which is hard when you want to move forwards in a big way.

wyleops
05-24-14, 10:58 AM
Good job.

Keep pushing forward!!

PolaBear
05-25-14, 07:11 PM
Thanks Everyone. Am learning so much from all of this, both about this itself and me as a person. Not too sure what day I'm on now (20?) but is still going strong which is cool. Think one of the things I'm going to have to get used to is setting targets like this and rolling with it, big and small. 30 days will be a great achievement believe me, but there's a lot more I want to get for myself.

PolaBear
05-31-14, 12:40 PM
Think today is now day 26, so not long now! Haven't posted on here much past week or so, but really want to get some ideas out on here so hopefully I will this week. Thanks again for everyone who has followed this, I know it's been a bit strange as iv not given much away but trust me, doing it like this has been a big help, and has almost been a success.

PolaBear
06-03-14, 10:35 AM
Day 29, bit of strange news today but just a message that I have to move forwards even more than day 30 which is tomorrow. Still one day at a time.

PolaBear
06-04-14, 05:49 AM
DAY 30! Will post more to this later but I did it! Isn't anything to go crazy with though, isn't the end just the beginning but good to know a few things are not in my day to day life now. Thanks again for everyone's support.

DistractedLemur
06-04-14, 06:38 AM
CONGRATULATIONS!!!

30 days is a big achievement with whatever it was!
Well done on reaching your goal.

:grouphug:

PolaBear
06-04-14, 07:14 PM
Thanks

It's been a weird kind of day, not that I was expecting to be crazy happy or anything, but in the sense I have this feeling of how much of a problem things have been, and that there is so much more to do. every night I always tell myself I'm going to "sort things" and yet so far iv got a feeling of not taking a single step. It's an illusion but a frustrating feeling all the same. I did what I wanted to with this, and in more ways then one a few things are behind me. Came across a phrase to make peace with your past and move forwards which I like, normally you read about forget your past and have always thought it was stupid as your past isn't just going to disappear. But to make peace is to accept it and make a path for yourself, which I like the thought of. Shame I make about 3000 paths a day but it's still something to think about.

PolaBear
06-12-14, 07:14 PM
Have decided now to use World Cup which is on for 30 days or so as another marker to lose some other habits and mindsets I'm wanting to change, one thing I have picked up on is the weird way that if a pattern is happening, my mind tends to stick to it (hyper focus) but then another part of my mind looks to change. This means there is a problem with structuring things and balancing them.

PolaBear
06-12-14, 07:15 PM
But I don't want to lose momentum, those first things feel behind me right now, and doing this and writing this definitely helped.

PolaBear
11-15-14, 07:40 PM
Ok I guess you can say I "relapsed" tonight. And the first thing I thought of was this thread, where I did 30 days, was successful, and wasn't a thing up until now. Would be easy now to convince it was a one off, but then that turns into falling back, and I don't want to, iv learned so much in the time since, looked at things in a different way and however basic seen that things can be done (even if it's just the frustration part of that!).

Looking at the date on these posts it was May/June, felt like a lot longer, which I guess is a good thing as its something iv not thought about. Can't waste the mind strength iv built up by doing this, if it means checking in on here again, where the help and support worked, even if it was just me posting, then I'll go with that.

PolaBear
11-15-14, 07:44 PM
Hey people

Said it a few times since finding these forums, but some of the things that I have seen put into words on here are things iv struggled with for a long time, and heard things from some great people.

Anyway, bit random I know and I get that it's not giving much away, but tonight iv decided that it would be better to not have something influencing my life. Don't want to get into what it is (it's cool, nothing illegal or wrong) but I know that if I can go 30 days without this thing it will be a big step. Made a start to end it tonight, day 14 will be a big one, and then 30 will be done with (that's the goal).

Wrote this on here as I wanted to make a statement that I'm doing this, and achieve it finally. Any thoughts are all good.

Thanks everyone

First post I did on this and I got there.

PolaBear
11-17-14, 05:55 PM
Couple of days now since, not done it again and felt vulnerable yesterday, but did get through. Think having a base of going so long has been a good thing so far.

PolaBear
11-22-14, 10:17 PM
Been a strange week. In some ways have felt like I did a while back, which although familiar isn't a place that worked. Have learnt so much this year (this forum played a major part), and don't want to ruin all of that.