View Full Version : Manic Writings/Art/Whatever - Please Share!


BellaVita
05-10-14, 07:55 PM
I'm interested in learning what it's like for other people when manic/hypomanic/mixed....I'll bold some bits, guess of whether it was hypomanic/manic/mixed etc....

How they think, what they write, do, etc...

I'll share some of mine, so excerpts from a journal...a LOT of it was religious in nature so I have left that out to comply with guidelines.

Journal Entries

Hypomanic:"*I love to sing. Just don't know what to do with that next nor the next steps...~*Opportunities? *maybe"

-"-want
miss his loving words
-Him coming over.
-Talking to me.

Youtube videos"

Hypomanic"He's taught - TEACH
-LEARN-
"I want to learn!
Another - <scribble>"

"I'm the same."

close to manic..."[a force] to persuade them to click on a link."

"Hypomanic:"SOUNDS LIKE A MASTERPIECE"

"I don't even know where to go next..."

"I know how to do them, but I becom almost"

Mixed"My life is my life - ever changing" "I am who I am" "please forgive me" "offensive"

Manic"You will be filled

Energy
P"

"What if you're emotionally hungry?"

Manic:"Sell your possessions"

"Rules
I don't have to be perfect
ADHD- Straightwaascribble
Get to know person - bring up little by little"

"woe = [opposite] blessing"

"My mind was far from clean. It was entangled in a net of needles that tore at me, matter how I tried to escape it."

"I was only given a petal."

**begin having paranoid/delusional thinking**"I was their target."

""carried over" as the most viable option, of choice to rid themselves of their pain. It worked in the past."

"But it was all a process - to break the chains linked with"

"Thus, the vicious - cycle of brainwash that was a form of denial, begun yet in another form."

Hypomania"Elevated.
But it was all familiar to me, I would be okay."

Hypomanic"Character development happens at the breaking point of which everything you know about life - is torn to shreds, you are unbearable turns on you and laughs in mockery. Broken and shatter and a pen."

paranoid thoughts:"They listened to me, but "listened" - I had heard them talking behind the sliding door mockery"

more paranoid thoughts/memories/delusional"*They hinted undertones of _______ suspicion about me - presumed before even speaking...
The truth, however, had ended up conceited."

"He was/felt empowered by the control of me being wrapped around his finger."

paranoid:"I wasn't about to let his threats(unconscious wishes) torment me more by becoming true."

Manic:"Unrestrained"

Manic:"Chaos ensued further"

Manic:"I had that instinct running strange - (vehemently?)"

Mixed:"Help! I'm embarrassed. I love you!"

"Mixed:Are you yourself around me?
Hate?
scribbleeee
covering up voice
hurting you"

[this is obviously from mixed episode] -
"I love everyone.
People are so kind, so generous.
I'm sorry.
*crying*
Do not dwell in pain...
MOVE FORWARD"

Manic:
"Reasons
-I am intrigued
-Songs already understand me.
-Empathy
-I use it to "manipulate" them.
-Know "do's" and "don'ts" with them."

"clashing worlds crascribblescribble
One we both worship
Oh the taboo and the glares
are all around
We let this love ignite in our hearts"

Nothing but cold crisp pain and hard
knocking wind
on each side of you
awaiting your plight."

"Invisible armies fought for you."

.....Now, these things don't really seem too weird...but try reading them altogether. They don't make sense. :)

Thanks for reading!

TheatreKid
05-10-14, 08:13 PM
My last manic episode, I got OBSESSED with writing limericks. Here are some of them:

I wanted an apple for lunch
Like, really a super whole bunch
I opened the fridge
the rest I'll abridge
I don't have an apple to munch.

The cat, she had started to purr
Until I got glue in her fur
The glue she did lick
And made her tongue stick
We'll laugh at this someday, I'm sure.

I wanted a frog for a pet
Amphibians I just don't get
I gave it a kiss
My princess amiss
The only thing I got was wet.

I invited my cat 'round for tea
But I'm having a problem, you see
I'm not in the mood
To dine on cat food
But my cat would tend to disagree.

I'm posting from rehearsal now
Instead of lion I'll play cow
I'm sure will ring true
When I cry out "moo!"
Can you just hear them all yell "wow!"

A limerick for Anita Quince
Who didn't pick up Bottom's hints
She gave him the lead
Pyramus did bleed
And we haven't heard from him since

You can never bring in a wall
That's silly, because it's too tall
They whisper through rocks
The fairies wear socks
We'll ALL go nuts with tech week's call

It's getting so hard to contain
These poems that come from my brain
Hiding far from the deep
Been so long without sleep
At least I can still entertain?

To stop now would just be a crime
I'm simply a man in his prime
I think it's obscene
Well what do you mean,
I can't live my life out in rhyme?

I really want to grow a beard
I tried it with marker, it smeared
But I'll look so svelte
With one made of felt
What? I don't care if I look weird!

Got sent to the psych hospital
But all of the beds there were full
Been waiting for hours, hey
That guy has magic powers
So maybe I can use his pull

IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.

Of course, then I wound up depressed and in the hospital, where I wrote this:

The sunset bathes the fields in blood
While evening birds take flight
My heart stands tempered for the flood
My world is not quite right

A stout resounding battlecry
Becomes a wordless moan
Yet I continue to defy
What cuts me to the bone

The dark comes silently and quick
A humming in the air
The days I've wasted being sick
I paid the ferry's fare

But this I know, after the dawn
My heartsong ringing true
All traces of the midnight, gone
And I'll come home to you.

BellaVita
05-10-14, 08:18 PM
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing TheatreKid!

Very intriguing!

TheatreKid
05-10-14, 08:26 PM
I've definitely experienced the kind of thing you've written too, with the fragmented, tangential thoughts. I had a month long manic episode in October 2012 (I seem to get them every fall) and by the end of it, my closest friend was talking to me on the phone and said I was jumping everywhere and didn't make sense. I didn't save anything I wrote during that time. I did write about 20 pages of handwritten music that was also jumbled gibberish.

BellaVita
05-10-14, 09:32 PM
I've definitely experienced the kind of thing you've written too, with the fragmented, tangential thoughts. I had a month long manic episode in October 2012 (I seem to get them every fall) and by the end of it, my closest friend was talking to me on the phone and said I was jumping everywhere and didn't make sense. I didn't save anything I wrote during that time. I did write about 20 pages of handwritten music that was also jumbled gibberish.

Yeah I get flight of ideas a lot.(When hypo/manic) They just don't make sense when I read them over, later. They do at the time though.

Everything is connected and has this deep meaning and I must discover it and blah blah blah...I usually wait for God to "reveal" it to me or my thoughts to reveal it to me.

Wow, month long! Ooo, care to share the music?

TheatreKid
05-10-14, 09:53 PM
I didn't keep the music. It freaked me out when I looked at it after.

When I was hypo, before I went full manic, I wrote this: http://rexemersonjackson.ca/fifthssong6.mp3
I have no idea if it's playable by a human orchestra, ha.

I got really obsessed with the interval "perfect fifth" and believed that it had mystical powers, and if I could just figure out what the secret behind the fifth was, I could use it to heal people. A friend made me go to the hospital while I was manic and I remember sitting in a little room waiting to see the doctor and the woman in the room next to me was crying and I was really upset because I hadn't figured out the fifth yet and I felt it was my duty to heal her. The doctor sent me home with a sleeping pill that didn't even work.

dvdnvwls
05-10-14, 10:00 PM
I have no idea if it's playable by a human orchestra, ha.
The part with some fast notes (around 1:50) would probably (IMO) have to get slowed down considerably in order to allow them to play clearly. I'm no string player, but other than that, I see nothing to stop it from being played.

Hathor
08-05-14, 11:42 AM
Fractured Story says she can see the 4th dimention when Manic

But I wonder if she gets Manic from seeing a higher dimention?

I agree it is a snowball effex, but what starts it?

Examlple:

Note: the Dewey in the quote is the Economist Edward and not the Philosopher John, but I am schizotypal and blend all three if possible in the Library

P.D. Ouspensky once asked his readers to make an experiment. Imagine, he said, that you live in two dimensions, instead of three. An easy way to do this is to imagine you are a being like a piece of paper, infinitely thin, living upon a table. You can look neither up nor down, for up and down are in a third dimension. You cannot even think up and down, or conceive it. For you have no thickness, and hence cannot even imagine thickness.

Now in the center of this tabletop where you live, there is cut a slot. In this slot there revolves a wheel, so hung that half the wheel is always below the table, and half of it above. This wheel is solid and you can see only the edge of it. Let us imagine its edge is painted in four colored segments — black, white, blue, and red. As the wheel revolves, you observe it end-on, you of course do not know that it is a wheel you see. For you are a two-dimensional being, and therefore see only a single line of color along the tabletop. Occasionally, as the wheel slowly revolves, you do see that line change suddenly in color. Red will suddenly change to slave driving, and slave driving to white, white to blue, and blue to red again.

Now, if you observe this phenomenon long enough, you will finally decide that when the red comes up, it will eventually cause slave driving; and when the slave driving appears, it will eventually cause blue. You will think you know the causes of the phenomena you observe.

If a two-dimensional scientist is observing the phenomena, he will eventually discover a “law” in this continuity of event. Using this law, he will be able to predict changes of color accurately. The scientist, by the use of mathematics, might also discover that a third dimension was necessary to account for the real phenomenon he saw in two dimensions only. But neither of you could imagine this third dimension as a sensory reality. Nor could you know the real nature of the causes operating there. The scientist would admit this frankly, saying his law merely described what happened, without explaining it. But you, untrained in such fine distinctions, would speak boldly of a “cause” being followed by an “effect.” And each “effect” would in turn become a new cause (in your way of thinking) resulting in a further effect which followed. If you persisted in this belief, you might eventually resent being told that you knew nothing about the real causality.

Clearly, Dewey and Dakin are suggesting that what we call cause and effect are really but artifacts of our “three-dimensionally-conditioned consciousness” grappling with phenomena that have their origins in a hyper-dimensional world of more than three dimensions.

One might therefore add to their analogy of a “hyper-dimensional” world evidencing itself in cycles that our scientist might, by dint of the same sort of mathematical techniques, deduce a very different object — the “wheel” — as the real cause and effect of that which we perceive as a cycle. And this brings them to a vital fact:
What we call our recognition of “cause” and “effect” is somehow associated with time, and with our perception in time. This is important to understand, for what we call time is apparently only a mode of perception…. Ouspensky, approaching the problem from a psychological background, goes so far as to suggest that time is the way we experience space in its higher dimensions. That is, the unknown dimensions of space are revealed to us in time.

This profound insight suggests a connection to the views on time as a determinative of cause and effect relationships in a hyper-dimensional universe, that of the thought of Russian astrophysicist Dr. Nikolai Kozyrev. Q.v. my book The Philosophers’ Stone: Alchemy and the Secret Research for Exotic Matter (Feral House, 2009), pp. 151-200.



From Joseph P. Farrell - Babylon's Banksters: The Alchemy of Deep Physics, High Finance and Ancient Religion

Well that is only from the second to third, but does Fractured Story make the same mistake when dealing with the 4th?

fracturedstory
08-05-14, 10:25 PM
Fractured Story says she can see the 4th dimention when Manic

I said that? WTF?

No wonder I threw out all of my manic writings. They were just seriously delusional. I must be doing ok lately to realise that.

One I remember is I was trying to write a theory about worm holes. My writings get very into the sci-fi realm of theoretical physics, together with diagrams. I often start seeing connections between everything, especially if they affect me in what I call a life changing way. Apparently, they happened in that way to help lead me on the right path.

I wrote some very weird sci-fi stories. I may still have some on my computer. Not sure if I feel comfortable sharing any because it's just seriously weird. It happened around the time I was getting into Jung and synchronicity. It starts with a dream sequence from a little boy's dream. Eventually it was going to be about humans sending drones to an alien planet that is already occupied, and the drones start destroying crops and towns and stuff, so this peaceful planet then becomes a militant one to defend itself.

Hathor
08-05-14, 10:37 PM
Ah, sorry I did not realize you felt that way when I brought it up. I do not really get past the hypo part, but it sounds very similar with the synchronicity and war.

I do see what you mean about sharing ideas as mine are weird too, and there is also the problem of taboo topics here. For example I take synch well past what can be explained by any Collective Unconscious.

I have been feeling a touch hypo the last couple of days and this paper plastic post in the poetry was written from Denver and reminded me of the silver and gold and other crazy elite art stuff in the Denver airport. Well weird but I guess the lack of words makes it less frightening to share.


http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=164267

Hathor
08-07-14, 11:16 AM
I said that? WTF?

No wonder I threw out all of my manic writings. They were just seriously delusional. I must be doing ok lately to realise that.

One I remember is I was trying to write a theory about worm holes. My writings get very into the sci-fi realm of theoretical physics, together with diagrams. I often start seeing connections between everything, especially if they affect me in what I call a life changing way. Apparently, they happened in that way to help lead me on the right path.


ah, they may have contained seriously delusional things, but they also contained connections that helped lead you on the right path.

I have made connections that turned out wrong, but now I just look at the connections I make as possibly having higher meaning, but not necessary.

To put them on 'paper' I try to keep to the 199, the indirect.

Also when you see how strange the manica turns me perhaps you feel better about your writing.


For example, it can be embarrassing to point to a connection that turns out to be false. But if you are just suggesting a possiblity why be ashamed of being wrong?

There are people in this world who start wars because they make money from selling Helikopters and stuff.

So why be ashamed of the Manica? I call it that because Manic sounds degrading, but also it reminds me of the 3131. manna

Hathor
08-07-14, 11:25 AM
So, is there any reason in particular that the bipolar form threads don't give you an insert pic button?

I was going to post some rather schizotypal pics, but nau I will stick to tamer ones.

I can post a pic without the button, but perhaps there have been issues here with Manica art in the past, so I will play it safe :)

I cant draw so I mix up other peoples art, this is "Lamzos"

http://nsa33.casimages.com/img/2014/06/08/140608091334301328.jpg

Edit: wow the tag is defeated, what happend?

mad83
08-08-14, 09:51 AM
https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/QMri3dkLN8zPGK_Y9UHoAB52l6SZo1TxzFvYLyM_utk?feat=d irectlink https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/QMri3dkLN8zPGK_Y9UHoAB52l6SZo1TxzFvYLyM_utk?feat=d irectlink

Gotta flip it over because she is supposed to be hanging upside down. I call her Joy.

InvitroCanibal
08-15-14, 01:32 PM
My last manic episode, I got OBSESSED with writing limericks. Here are some of them:

I wanted an apple for lunch
Like, really a super whole bunch
I opened the fridge
the rest I'll abridge
I don't have an apple to munch.

The cat, she had started to purr
Until I got glue in her fur
The glue she did lick
And made her tongue stick
We'll laugh at this someday, I'm sure.

I wanted a frog for a pet
Amphibians I just don't get
I gave it a kiss
My princess amiss
The only thing I got was wet.

I invited my cat 'round for tea
But I'm having a problem, you see
I'm not in the mood
To dine on cat food
But my cat would tend to disagree.

I'm posting from rehearsal now
Instead of lion I'll play cow
I'm sure will ring true
When I cry out "moo!"
Can you just hear them all yell "wow!"

A limerick for Anita Quince
Who didn't pick up Bottom's hints
She gave him the lead
Pyramus did bleed
And we haven't heard from him since

You can never bring in a wall
That's silly, because it's too tall
They whisper through rocks
The fairies wear socks
We'll ALL go nuts with tech week's call

It's getting so hard to contain
These poems that come from my brain
Hiding far from the deep
Been so long without sleep
At least I can still entertain?

To stop now would just be a crime
I'm simply a man in his prime
I think it's obscene
Well what do you mean,
I can't live my life out in rhyme?

I really want to grow a beard
I tried it with marker, it smeared
But I'll look so svelte
With one made of felt
What? I don't care if I look weird!

Got sent to the psych hospital
But all of the beds there were full
Been waiting for hours, hey
That guy has magic powers
So maybe I can use his pull

IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.

Of course, then I wound up depressed and in the hospital, where I wrote this:

The sunset bathes the fields in blood
While evening birds take flight
My heart stands tempered for the flood
My world is not quite right

A stout resounding battlecry
Becomes a wordless moan
Yet I continue to defy
What cuts me to the bone

The dark comes silently and quick
A humming in the air
The days I've wasted being sick
I paid the ferry's fare

But this I know, after the dawn
My heartsong ringing true
All traces of the midnight, gone
And I'll come home to you.

I like it

InvitroCanibal
08-15-14, 01:35 PM
All my writing is manic, lol. I still get manic in the evenings, my mania is slight so I generally just take latuda and lamictal for my bipolar. If I destabilize i'll go on lithium permanently I suppose. but I can share my writing, most of it i've probably already shared on the creative writing site. My writing becomes more incoherent the more manic I am to be honest, the more depressed I am, the shorter my writing is.

InvitroCanibal
08-15-14, 01:40 PM
Face Lift


Dance and dine on fingers so supine
Splitting open your mind
to see what treasures are their to find.
Took a sip of blood I thought was wine.
Courtesy stands for none.
Nothing and no one,
what is can not be undone.
Please empty faces with a soft pleasant smile.
What became has come.
Destroyed by life and light.
Oppose the truth with every stroke of a knife.



My states are kinda mixed but I think it was depression, it's pretty ridiculous but it was about plastic surgery, not wrist cutting or anything. I never did that when I was depressed, i'd usually just sleep a lot.


this one below was recent and it was mania, I was on my finals and not sleeping much which caused me to go manic for a bit. I always regret writing anything I write but I still write. I posted it in a few places..I apologize for that,


Paper plastic


Beat the drum
A march to war
Carted toward the stores
The frozen peas see whats to come
The carrots hide
While the onions run
The eggs are already empty but so full of hope of a fresh tomorrow
Those poor fools have no idea of their future sorrows
The meat is a bloody reminder of the casualities that come when one dwells among the giants and seek to over throw their kingdom
The painful cries cast through the store carried all the way to aisle two
Where the canned foods quietly hold the corpses of many good vegetables that were boiled alive in stew
A grim sight that is only whispered by the potatoes
Supplies have run low in aisle five and the belts are alive once again
The lights have come
As The spinach talk of war on the horizon
But hope is already gone
Cereals rise only to drown their fears in milk as they face the spread of tyranny and a cold viscious irony
The bread has already lost its mind chewing and gnawing on its paper packaging
All while holding a grim smile as their sons and daughters are carted off to the produce aisle and beyond
all the way to aisle three
Where the nuts are waiting ecstatically
Fantastic war erupts itself across the iron floors
As the cherries are dropped from bolted cages like bombs
In between are the screams and screech of iron doors
A storm has come
An echo rises that only the apples feel within their waxy cores
once more a sound so horrible is repeated like a mantra of death to the ode of souless tunes
with a smile that wreaks of gloom
as the coffins are prepared and inviting doom
Stretched and forced to bend against a giants will
The beating wheels cart the damned to their fateless hell
The end is near as the branded dead are placed inside their coffin crates
A mass grave held inside an imprisoned tomb that bares the mark of an elastic womb
A voice in the distance booms
Paper or plastic?

fracturedstory
08-16-14, 03:53 AM
I haven't been able to write for months and the only time I could was when I'm manic. But I'm sticking to writing blog posts. Link in my siggy.

Terowyn
08-18-14, 11:18 PM
Hmm, I'm usually very protective of my work, but I have many lyrics written. I guess I'll share a couple.

Untitled 1
You're kindling for the fire where you stand
You're broken glass I stepped on in the sand
You're the rain when it's pouring way too fast
You're the impact of a sudden avalanche

And I gave in too fast

You gave in to desire, hand by hand
How's a life with nothing, is it grand?
You trudged your feet through thinning broken ice
How's the ice cold water, is it nice?

The fire burned a hole straight through my heart
The broken glass tore my feet apart
The rain was followed by the storm that coloured all clouds grey
The impact of the avalanche threw me off the mountain

And now, can you say that you have found it?
That false-led paradise you're looking for
If kept your rose cheeks placed where my heart
I'd try to take you somewhere close to there

Untitled 2
Former friends, liars
You're asking what you already know
I am ill, a gift from you to me, bestowed
I've lost my mind, and I can't seem to count how many times
But only because the ones like you made me this way

Well what did they say? Enough to deform my brain. If you knew what they said, maybe you'd somewhat understand?

And if I said it more than one time, I think I said it one time too much
It's results of my decisions and a case of bad luck.
The target's spotted, bow in hand, but I just can't get a grip
And I seem to pierce my heart with every arrow I miss]

These are least favourite ones to be honest, or at least the ones that I think are kinda mediocre. I wrote them both when I was either in a manic or mixed episode (not sure which one, it was so long ago, and I still have problems distinguishing them). Yup, that's about it.