View Full Version : What do I do from here?


Silvermoonstone
06-04-14, 08:22 PM
It has been a long time since I last came here, so I guess introductions are in order.

I'm diagnosed with moderate to severe ADHD-PI. I went to college, aiming for a degree in BS Chemistry. I have loved science ever since grade school.

I have struggled so much in college. My freshman year, I got good grades, but it was difficult. I switched majors (big mistake) and did poorly. My GPA dropped to 0.9 - lost my scholarship, was dismissed from college, and I had to work so hard to get back on my feet.

I had to pay for college out of my pocket, because no scholarship would ever take such a low GPA. After years of diligent hard work, I finally got my GPA back to respectable number, 2.9. My dream career demanded a GPA of 3.0, and I was so close.

I can only be a part time student - the workload for a BS chem is just too much. I had to be careful with classes I took, making sure I didn't overload my schedule. But I messed up my last semester, missing an important deadline, and my GPA falls back down to 2.4.

The demands and stakes are so high. I can never rid myself of those failed classes, and they will always drag me down. It isn't fair I had to work triple the effort of my peers, and I come out with nothing. All I have to show is losing money to a college system I can't compete in.

I cannot afford college anymore. I can't go for another semester and not know if I can make this class, or not. College is run like a business, not a school - no one cares about one student who can't afford the tuition anymore.

I am not stupid - not with a damn IQ of 140. I'm not lazy - not with spending so many sleepless nights to study. I'm not careless with money - I don't have a fancy phone, or fancy gadgets, and I'm not in debt. I've stumped my tutors and impressed my professors, BUT I CAN'T PASS THE DAMN CLASS BECAUSE I MISSED ONE DEADLINE!!

I want to make something of myself. I want to study, I want to learn. I want my stupid degree already. I don't understand why college demands I take classes not related to my degree. I don't understand the system. I don't want to see my hard earned money being swallowed up for the big paycheck of someone else. It's. Not. Worth. It. And I am not stupid enough to be suckered into that scheme.

With the resources I have, I can get a job, and be set for life. I could, but it's not what I want. I'd be throwing away all I've worked for, all I've struggled for, and lose any chance for my dream goals. I feel like I've wasted all these years trying to fit in with this system, and it was all for nothing. I want to use my skills to benefit this world, but I can't afford another 1.5 years in college.

Adduce
06-05-14, 04:25 AM
I'd say first of all that if you have set your heart on this career, and you have got as far as you have then try not to give up.

It can be a mistake to compare yourself to other students who seem to not have the same difficulties, as you may have some skills and insights which some of them may never have.

If you need some time to adjust the way you are studying for your degree so you can get past these final hurdles then you may need to do just that.

I was diagnosed with adhd-pi myself in adulthood and have studied Physics and Mathematics in the past (and am still studying) albeit unsuccessfully at a full time university. I realise now that the problems I had could have partly been ameliorated by better study skills (any study skills!) that were recommended by an educational psychologist who diagnosed me with ADD after I had left university in my 1st year, although the biggest problem is to actually use these techniques as we seem to get stuck in our ways I guess.

I was watching this video on youtube the other day which I found interesting in parts and which you may also find interesting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JMroyfJtO4

Also, if you have problems with memory like a lot of adhd-pi people seem to do and it has affected your ability to study in the past then I can recommend a couple of books which I have found useful, and you can do a bit of research on search engine to see if you would also.

'Moonwalking with Einstein - The Art and Science of Remembering Everything' - by Josh Foer
'How to develop a brilliant memory week by week' by Dominic O' Brien

Hope this has been of some help...

Adduce
06-05-14, 04:32 AM
........

Silver
06-07-14, 05:30 AM
I'm really sorry to hear that happened to you. :( I wonder if you can ask about taking any remedial/extra classes to help bring your grade back up? I'm just guesstimating here, I've not been to college really so I don't know the ins and outs of how that stuff works... I hope you can work something out though, that's really heartbreaking.

This is a big reason I was so scared to go to college that I've spent four years trying to scrape by without a degree (well, I got a license for massage therapy but had to quit that because i was in too much pain from it... 15 grand down the toilet), but since all i've been able to find without one are jobs that don't pay the bills in the slightest i've been trying to work up the focus and guts to go back to school for something better. Things like this really scare me still though.