View Full Version : Social Anxiety

06-10-14, 01:36 PM
I recently moved across the country cause my family wanted to. I have severe social anxiety, depression, and ocd. These were all manageable when I was back home with friends I grew up with my whole life, now here I don't have any friends and I sit in my house all day every day. It's been about 3 months since the last time I left my house. I get out maybe once every 3-4 months, and I'm forced into these situations which causes severe anxiety.

I think my depression has come back because ever since I was here I lost my appetite, even eating feels like a huge task just to get up and make something. I don't really feel sad just numb not happy not sad not even bored like I use to feel in the beginning. I don't have any interest in doing the things I used to love like sports, fishing, biking etc... because of the anxiety of going out so it's easier to just not care.

My family gets mad at me for not going anywhere and they feel I don't like them which isn't the case. I don't even feel like I can tell my family how I feel and I literally just feel trapped in my house. It's like they think I enjoy not having a job or going to school which isn't the case, I can't bring myself to meet new people because of the amount of anxiety it causes. I honestly feel I'm alone and no one else experiences not leaving the house. I just don't even know what to do anymore, any suggestions?

06-10-14, 05:01 PM
How about gradually extending the territory where you feel comfortable?

Like going out in the front garden for a minute. Be there, be calm, breathe deeply, be ok with being there, go back inside. Think of that as a milestone achieved. Next time stay out for a little longer. Build slowly up to walking around the block or to the end of the road. Then build up to going and buying something in a shop, get comfortable with that, go in somewhere and sit and have coffee, get comfortable with that. Then move on to taking a class, where the focus is on doing or learning a thing but you'll naturally meet people as a byproduct of going.

You're definitely not the only person to ever feel like this and it's not easy but if you take it as a series of small steps you can certainly beat it.

Now go outside for 30 seconds!
Good luck!


06-11-14, 04:45 AM
It kind of sounds like agoraphobia. Has anything traumatic happened? The reason I ask is because I had an awful run in with police 4 years ago due to driving on a flat tire. Was detained, breathlysed, harassed, etc all because I failed a field sobriety test, which was later proven to be my clutzy self and not due to an intoxicating substance, but I still had to pay a lawyer $5000 to prove this. After that I was terrified to drive. I wouldnt leave my house to run around the corner to the store because I was afraid to drive. I avoided everything and would wait for my husband to come home and drive me everywhere because The issue with the cops scared me that much. The only way I was able to get over this was sort of like exposure therapy where I started by walking to the corner everyday, then the block etc. Then I started by driving to the corner, around the block, to the store, etc and after 8 months I was able to drive about 20 minutes somewhere. I know people tend to think of agoraphobia as being something you have your whole life but its not always the case. I wonder if your move was somehow traumatic for you and thats whats keeping you prisoner in your own home. Are you on any meds at all?

06-26-14, 02:42 PM
I'm going through something similar, but the cross country move was years ago (maybe a minor component but I'm not a fan of where I am now) but its been random problems for years now and my parents are very supportive and push me to not waste time. They used to get on me a lot about getting a job and school but theyve backed off to baby steps. Not saying I listen even half the time to the advice but they help look for things for me to do during the day, just around the house or cleaning in the back.

Something thats helped me is just doing daily push ups in my room, just to relieve some of the anxiety. But since I sprained my wrists I havnt been able to do them and I have noticed a decline... I dont know if this would help but I just started going out at night and walking or skating around. just to escape. Nobody's around and its kinda peaceful, dodgy at 2-3AM but still.

My doc started me on stims but its not locked down on which one is best, but they do help with just texting people I'm comfortable with to try and do something, which is usually just sitting out in someones backyard talking over cigarettes. I should note I'm also on 20mg valium and 60mg propranolol daily, just to avoid physical symptoms of my anxiety but I still struggle with the 'getting out' bit. I'm not sure if night would help but maybe try biking then?
best of luck, and you will get through it. things just take time

07-26-14, 01:50 AM
If I have a quarter for every time I experienced similar situations I would be eating sushi every night… LOL as a matter of fact I'm on my second day of not leaving the house also. I don't know if you realize how lucky you are to have family and support, I've been going through this stuff for 30 years it seems like and I had to push myself to go out for just a little walk 10 minutes at a time and I did feel better unfortunately the last medicine the doctor gave me I gained 60 pounds developed rheumatism in my legs along with shin splints and I can't walk! My health is going south, I purchased a bicycle and I ride that stays a week it hurts like choke crazy, the only reason I do it because I know it's good for me and I don't like taking pills and it makes my life just a little better, sometimes all I can do is isometrics and I just have to grin and bear it you really might want to consider your health once that's gone it's almost impossible to get back, even a little yoga perhaps if possible Aloha!

08-12-14, 12:13 AM
I have severe anxiety disorder I cant interact with anybody directly but if I sit inside I start feeling suicidal so I my bike at least 10 mi a day its a activity I do by myself but at the same time im in the community and I get to see other people that are normal being happy and it makes me feel good almost like im happy too sometimes ill bring a couple sandwiches and bike around town all day and it makes me feel amazing ,when I get home im normal enough to read a good book for me thats a perfect day.

08-12-14, 02:44 AM
Is there any possibility for you to seek medical help? Like going to your GP? Medication and therapy can make a big difference in dealing with anxiety.

08-14-14, 05:53 AM
It won't get better by avoiding things, it will get worse - I've recently discovered this myself. If you can, consider some sort of study/further education. My agraphobia is new, and quite bad, but I think I could cope with study. (But that's me, you obviously might struggle given how you talk about meeting people.) I wish your family were a bit more empathetic. Would they get mad at you if you had migraines or something??

Spellcheck says I have spelt both agraphobia and spellcheck wrong! lol.

08-15-14, 07:22 AM
I used to have severe anxiety/social anxiety to the point where I couldn't leave the house.

The only thing that worked for me was seeing a GP, and after lots of trial and error one particular antidepressant.
I can't back this up with facts or statistics but I feel like ADD goes hand-in-hand with anxiety. I would also overanalyse everything, not know what to say/where to look and freak out over crowds of people.

I would try and book an appointment with a GP even though that seems difficult, as soon as you're feeling able to so that you can tackle this before it gets worse. Just be honest with the doctor, and if you're feeling nervous be honest about that too and explain exactly how you feel like you can't leave the house and how bad it is.

Also try and get out more if you can. Aim for a short walk to build up a kind of resistance to the anxiety and stress of going out. Don't push yourself though.
Also try not to let what your family says get to you - they probably just don't understand and try not to be too hard on yourself. These things are tough and can take time to sort out.

08-15-14, 10:15 AM
tie in something you love once a week in your calendar and a way of extending it...

i.e. painting... attend a class.... etc.

it helps to offset the anxiety alot by having the task and "just turning up"... maybe set an acheivable number like 8 lessons.... then your free to shift to something else... the goal is not to make friendships but eventually they'kk happen.

all the best with it!