View Full Version : Am I Bipolar?


Nobodyishere
06-11-14, 05:48 AM
Hey guys.
I am not to experienced in posting on forums on the internet and w/e so please bare with me.

I just wanted to know, it is literally killing me to find out.
Am I bipolar?

I have always been different and up until I was about 17 I was Depressed every single day of the week, rarely spoke and didn't hang out with friends (If I had any at the time)

I could not concentrate while in class and often had to be told several times to do something until I fully understood. No energy, fatigue, feeling of guilt and so on...I wont go into much detail, but you get the picture.

Like I said, Up until 17. This is when I started to feel "up"
I always have something going on in my head, thoughts change quite quickly and always accompanied by music in the background (I am sorta like this when depressed but not as intense) Talk a LOT. I can't shut up, and even though I know it is silly I cant really stop/find it fun so I don't.
Unlimited energy and always buzzing around.
I have a feeling of superiority of others and if I am working fast I get really aggravated if people cant keep up. I say/do outrages things, outrages enough to have my workmates think I am on drugs (They actually tell me if I am)
(I am not on drugs, I never have been)
Constantly joking and people sometimes don't understand me (Don't know if I talk to fast of jumble up sentences)
Also sleep is optional.

But
When I started to feel my "ups" my depression got really bad.
Suicidal thoughts....etc I wont go into detail, I am new to this forum and the last thing I want is to get banned for talking about suicide.

So I went to a therapist and he said I probably have bipolar 2

I didn't really believe it.
I was on meds but about a week ago I threw them out because I was paranoid and told my therapist that THEY had problems, not me.
So I don't really want to go back because I am embarrassed...

Thanks for reading.

Fuzzy12
06-11-14, 08:20 AM
I does sound like BP II to me though I'd trust your doctors rather than an internet forum.

I can relate though to what you have described. It does sound a lot like hypomania (I've been diagnosed with BP II as well).

Which meds were you taking and what did you get paranoid about? Is it possible that you could be having right now another hypomanic or mixed episode or maybe even mania? Did the meds help in any way?

sarahsweets
06-11-14, 11:07 AM
If it is BPII and it sounds like it is, you MUST take your medication. Alot of us get it in our head that we can manage but 95% of the BPII population needs medication to manage it.

Nobodyishere
06-11-14, 05:27 PM
Thanks for replies.
I think I just came out of a hypomaniac episode, I have been depressed for 2 days now.
I been getting about 4 hours maximum sleep a night.
I threw out my meds because I though that they were going to poison me or control me.

I feel like I can't trust my thoughts/motives/emotions.
If I am happy I feel like I'm pretending (I shrug it off)
I feel like I can control my emotions but choose not to. But if this was the case I would stay hypomaniac forever.
I could write a story up in the middle of the night and send it to one of my friends (texting) and then a week later I will read it and think "What the hell was I thinking"

I was on lexapro and resperidon (probably spelt wrong)

Nobodyishere
06-11-14, 05:34 PM
Thanks for reading.
I think I may have just come out a hypomaniac episode.

I threw my meds out because I thought they were trying to poison me and control me.

I feel like I can't trust my emotions or my mind anymore. I feel like I am faking and pretending to be happy/depressed.
But if this was the case I would stay happy and never be suicidal.

I could make up a story in the middle of night and text it to one of my friends, a week later I will read it and laugh and say "what was I thinking"

I was on lexapro and resperidon.
Thanks for reading

Fuzzy12
06-18-14, 05:09 AM
See your psychiatrist ASAP :)