View Full Version : Stressed, anxious or depressed?


Fuzzy12
06-27-14, 10:47 AM
I've got no clue what's going on with me right now. I am stressed, I guess. I've got too much work but I'm coping with the most urgent things just fine and my usual backlog of work that might turn urgent anytime is the same as usual so it shouldn't stress me out more than usually.

I've got bouts of anxiety, which I absolutely hate and I'm quite depressed. I'm not sure though if the depression is caused by the anxiety or if it's just anxiety symptoms masquerading as depression.

Parent season has started and isn't going to end anytime soon and that's stressing me out as well though for no good reason at the moment. Also, there are important issues I need to sort out on the home front and in general, this time of the year is always difficult for me.

There isn't a particular stressor though so I'm not sure what to do to make myself feel better. For once I'm quite productive at work but that strangely isn't cheering me up either. Maybe I'm just bored..or tired.

I still haven't started exercising. I've got zero motivation but I guess, I need to, just in case it helps.

I haven't been depressed for quite a few months and I am terrified to go back there.

In a way I wish I could figure out why exactly I'm feeling so down but at the same time I'm worried that brooding about it will just depress me more or that stressing about depression will just stress me more.. :doh:

I really need to get a grip..Uggh :(

VeryTired
06-27-14, 02:01 PM
Umm, Fuzzy?

I wish you could read this through my eyes. You are posing a question that's already answered! You are too close to your own life to see it in perspective!. You just described a whole series of more than sufficient reasons for feeling anxiety and depression as if you just don't know why you feel anxious and depressed. No mystery here.

I suggest you put effort into finding protection and alleviations rather than worrying too much about explanations. But bear in mind that if you're in a depressing or anxiety-producing situation, some depression and anxiety are normal responses.

Take care of yourself--make you a priority when the times get tough--

Stevuke79
06-27-14, 02:16 PM
VeryT, that was brilliant.

Fuzzy, I couldn't agree more, and I think the insight that you are "too close" is so very accurate. How you feel makes so much sense. It's so natural. It's such a basic response to everything you deal with. The only thing that has EVER confused me about you is that you question the legitimacy or the justification for your emotions,.. and after 2 seconds that doesn't confuse me either because WE ALL DO IT.

Fuzzy, all the stuff that you're going through and that is happening around you - THAT is the stuff that makes people feel down. Anyone. :grouphug::grouphug:

Everyone likes to think "they" are the problem - myself included and you've called me out on doing this myself. And just like me, and everyone else on the planet, generally we're not the sole problem.

Greyhound1
06-27-14, 05:56 PM
Fuzzy,
I agree with the others. They said it very well.

I think what is important is that you already recognize the familiar signs
of depression/stress before slipping to far down the rabbit hole.

You already have been successful in escaping this in the past. You have the knowledge, skill and experience to escape it again. I wish you the best in being able to apply again, what you already know.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Fuzzy12
06-28-14, 03:09 AM
Huh? What do I know? I've never been able to pull myself out of a depression or have I? I'm genuinely asking. Maybe I have and don't realise it but if you remember how I did it could you tell me please?

The only thing i can think of is that maybe I need something super exciting. There isn't anything I'm looking forward to.


Fuzzy,
I agree with the others. They said it very well.

I think what is important is that you already recognize the familiar signs
of depression/stress before slipping to far down the rabbit hole.

You already have been successful in escaping this in the past. You have the knowledge, skill and experience to escape it again. I wish you the best in being able to apply again, what you already know.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Fuzzy12
06-28-14, 03:18 AM
I could go on a crash diet. Losing weight always cheers me up..at least for a while..before I start going crazy. :scratch:

Or should I just stick it out? Try not to think too much about it and hope it will pass soon?

Maybe I need to find a crush..that should provide enough stimulation :lol: :doh:

(Worryingly, I'm only half joking. I'm feeling pretty crappy and I don't like it. I don't want to stick it out. I've spent enough of my life being depressed. Exactly 10 years. I think that's enough. Well it's not but i don't care. I want out on parole.)

dvdnvwls
06-28-14, 04:06 AM
I really need to get a grip..Uggh :(
I know that "I really need to get a grip" can be classified as "just an expression". But I think really there's more to it. It seems to me that your conclusion, the idea of needing to get a grip, doesn't follow at all from the things you said before it. It may be that you have far too much of a grip already, and that if you released your grip then good things might happen.

Some anxiety, and some depression, are the result of repeatedly trying to control the uncontrollable. Not all of them by any means, but some.

RobboW
06-28-14, 04:29 AM
Maybe do some form of enjoyable exercise, then things might seem brighter, shinier? I know that when I've done some good honest hard yakka after a spell of inactivity, things just sharpen up.

Fuzzy12
06-28-14, 05:31 AM
I know that "I really need to get a grip" can be classified as "just an expression". But I think really there's more to it. It seems to me that your conclusion, the idea of needing to get a grip, doesn't follow at all from the things you said before it. It may be that you have far too much of a grip already, and that if you released your grip then good things might happen.

Some anxiety, and some depression, are the result of repeatedly trying to control the uncontrollable. Not all of them by any means, but some.

Are you saying I should stop worrying or thinking so much about being depressed?

Or that I should stop wishing that my environment was different? It's true. I absolutely hate it when I feel that things are out of my control. Usually I feel overwhelmed with everything that s out of my control (and that includes myself) and right now I guess with everything that's going on it's worse. But then even the decisions i need to make are stressing me but then they are stressing me because once again there is no good answer and all outcomes will cause suffering and I don't t know how to change that. So.. Acceptance? Is that what I need?

RobboW
06-28-14, 05:35 AM
Isn't depression cumulative? Keep feeding it or not breaking it and it gets worse? Have to be proactive then. Break routines, look for enjoyment from things, do something different just to do it.

Fuzzy12
06-28-14, 05:40 AM
Isn't depression cumulative? Keep feeding it or not breaking it and it gets worse? Have to be proactive then. Break routines, look for enjoyment from things, do something different just to do it.

Yup that's what I'm worried about. I want to nip it in the bud before it's too late. I don't know how. Exercise would be good but it's so boring and I'm just not able to get myself to do any. and the few things that i do like I just don't have time for. In fact between work and parents being here I won't time for anything anymore and maybe that s what s bugging me as well.

RobboW
06-28-14, 06:07 AM
Sounds like a level of constant pressure. You need a release. You might need "me time" and that could mean almost anything. Time on a project, a sport, a hobby, some form of enjoyed exercise, even simply wasted time as a luxury.

Time wasted was not wasted if you fel better for it. Maybe you spend too much time with others? Or others expectations? That's what bugs me. Expectations.

Greyhound1
06-28-14, 11:31 AM
Huh? What do I know? I've never been able to pull myself out of a depression or have I? I'm genuinely asking. Maybe I have and don't realise it but if you remember how I did it could you tell me please?

The only thing i can think of is that maybe I need something super exciting. There isn't anything I'm looking forward to.

Somehow you have been able to break its grip before and hopefully you can do it again.:grouphug:


I haven't been depressed for quite a few months and I am terrified to go back there.

Greyhound1
06-28-14, 12:10 PM
originally posted by Fuzzy
I don't know if this is just a short, temporary reprieve or if I'm really making my way out of the darkness. I know that the depression is always lurking around the corner. For now, I'm happy with any light I can see. And it feels so good to finally feel a little bit of clarity and sanity again.

I hope you can get back to this point!

Fuzzy12
06-29-14, 07:40 AM
Somehow you have been able to break its grip before and hopefully you can do it again.:grouphug:
I don't think i did. Just something inmy brainswitched and now it has switchedback again.i ve bed trying to figure out what has changed and yes there are lots of stressors now but i don't think i did anything specific back then to make me feelbetter.

Fuzzy12
06-29-14, 07:42 AM
sorry new phone. Cant be botheredd
to change spelings. I so want to dun away. There s stress. But in also too sensitive and over reacting again. Even just typing on this phone is stressing me out..or any tiny little change.

and im hurting which is ok but i haven't felt this way in a while and im finding it strangely unsettling

VeryTired
06-29-14, 02:47 PM
Fuzzy--

What makes depression go away is hard to know and almost impossible to test--there are no real control groups, for one thing. But it's very unlikely that one thing you did was what fixed the problem. Rather, it's all the things you did.

I don't know the whole list, but it surely includes staying calm and trying to get help from doctors, trying medications some of which work and some don't but all of which are part of having a response to the problem, looking for and finding support here, looking for and finding support from people in your real life, being as kind to yourself as you could while using your intellectual faculties to try to get help, pursuing ADHD treatment in the knowledge that your ADHD has at least some relation to your depression, sleeping and eating and exercising as well as you were able, recognizing depression for what it is, rather than catastrophizing … this list could be much longer. But the point is, you have been brave, smart, focussed and energized in your approach to a very tough circumstance, and although that's no enough to prevent you from feeling the pain of depression again, it is way better than nothing when you find yourself there again.

Sending good wishes your way--

Fuzzy12
07-01-14, 12:55 PM
Fuzzy--

What makes depression go away is hard to know and almost impossible to test--there are no real control groups, for one thing. But it's very unlikely that one thing you did was what fixed the problem. Rather, it's all the things you did.

I don't know the whole list, but it surely includes staying calm and trying to get help from doctors, trying medications some of which work and some don't but all of which are part of having a response to the problem, looking for and finding support here, looking for and finding support from people in your real life, being as kind to yourself as you could while using your intellectual faculties to try to get help, pursuing ADHD treatment in the knowledge that your ADHD has at least some relation to your depression, sleeping and eating and exercising as well as you were able, recognizing depression for what it is, rather than catastrophizing … this list could be much longer. But the point is, you have been brave, smart, focussed and energized in your approach to a very tough circumstance, and although that's no enough to prevent you from feeling the pain of depression again, it is way better than nothing when you find yourself there again.

Sending good wishes your way--

Are those the things that got me out of depression (or helped)? It's possible but I suspect that I've tried those at other times as well with no effect. I think, maybe just something in my brain switched. Maybe I really am bipolar.

So in general terms, it sounds like you are saying I was very proactive and maybe I need to take a proactive approach to get out of this slump as well. The only thing I can think of is to start exercising again (which is tough) and do more fun stuff (which I don't have time for) or reduce my stressors (which seems impossible). Or go on a diet. Losing weight always cheers me up..for a while at least.

Maybe I should consider taking anti depressants again but I really don't want to. I'm worried that they will interfere with the stimulants and most of them made me super tired. Besides, none of them worked very well and never for long.

Keeping busy helps. Thankfully, I'm not that depressed yet that it's affecting my work though I haven't done anything in the last 3h or so :eek:

Still, I wish I could stay in my office forever. I'm counting the hours till I need to leave. There's nothing wrong or bad about being home except that there are people I need to interact with whereas here I can do whatever I want.

Greyhound1
07-01-14, 11:57 PM
This may sound like a really dumb statement, but try anything to not think about being depressed. Don't try and diagnose yourself or overthink it. Just attempt to avoid acknowledging it too much and try to let the stimulation of concern rest.

Getting too concerned causes a ton of anxiety. That's the fuel depression thrives on.

Last dumb statement for the day....
Think happy thoughts! :grouphug::grouphug: