How do you know if you're in love, lust or marriage ?

LOVE - - when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - - when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - - when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care.

LOVE - - when intercourse is called making love.
LUST - - all other times.
MARRIAGE - - what's intercourse?

LOVE - - when you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - - when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - - when you argue over money.

LOVE - - when you share everything you own.
LUST - - when you think twice about giving your partner bus money.
MARRIAGE - - when the bank owns everything.

LOVE - - when it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - - when the relationship is over, if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - - what's a climax?

LOVE - - when you phone each other just to say "Gidday".
LUST - - when you phone each other just to arrange sex.
MARRIAGE - - when you phone each other to find out what time your son's game starts.

LOVE - - when you write poems about your partner.
LUST - - when all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - - when all you write are checks.

LOVE - - when you show concern for your partners' feelings.
LUST - - when you couldn't give a ****.
MARRIAGE - - when your only concern is what's on TV.

LOVE - - when your farewell is "I love you darling ..."
LUST - - when your farewell is "So, same time next week?"
MARRIAGE - - when your farewell is silent.

LOVE - - when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - - when you only ever see each other in the bedroom.
MARRIAGE - - when you never see each other awake.

LOVE - - when your heart flutters everytime you see them.
LUST - - when your groin twitches everytime you see them.
MARRIAGE - - when your wallet empties everytime you see them.

LOVE - - when nobody else matters.
LUST - - when nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE - - when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.

LOVE - - when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST - - when it's just the same mushy old ****.
MARRIAGE - - when you never listen to music.

LOVE - - when breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST - - when staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE - - when just getting through today is your only thought.

LOVE - - when you're interested in everything your partner does.
LUST - - when you're only interested in one thing.
MARRIAGE - - when you're not interested in what your partner does and the one thing you're interested in is your golf score.

That was soooo bad .... that it was good. :p
LOL

I'm glad my marriage looks nothing like this! :D

well, yeah. me too. this would be the late-night talk show joke version of marriage.

Hmmm. Thankfully I've never been married, I guess!

have got married either crime scene. ...

Ohhhhhhh, this must put a lot of people off marriage....:D Too Funny!!!

lol really funny

Thank Pembroke :)

The thing is you can have all three at the same time. Except for the bus money and phone # part.......or maybe those parts too depending on if your partner is ADD and can't remember their own phone number or if they are ADD and are terrible with finances. So yes, being married to an ADDer means you can have all three. (breathes, considers adding commas to above paragraph)