View Full Version : I hate hugs!


Ruthie212
07-15-14, 08:29 PM
Hate is a strong word but I grew up in France and doing the two kiss thing was so annoying and hugging is kinda worse. I dont know if its the awkwardness of not doing it right and accidentally ending up head butting someone but it really is awful to me. I obviously do it as I dont want to offend but I really dont like physical contact. It makes my skin crawl slightly. Also I hate light touching, brushing anything like that makes me instantly want to punch someone. My dad got me this v expensive massage and this spa and I really just wanted it to stop, it was so ticklish and so uncomfortable and it lasted an hour! I left the place greasy and so tense

I wish this disorder made me not so much a grumpy person!

RobboW
07-15-14, 10:49 PM
ADHD seems to make us over sensitive, but that also makes us sensitive to personal space. I'm like that. One daughter is very physically sensitive and another is very personal space sensitive. I'm a bit of both.

vpilar
07-15-14, 11:48 PM
I don't hate hugs as much as I hate kisses. And I think that's because in my culture we kiss (at least three on the cheek :doh:), not hug.
Hug is just for my close friends or somebody whom I really missed, so I do that volunteerily :) ...
But kisses! ugh! I hate them!
This is odd to say but I even hate being kissed by my parents! :(
My hubby is an exception..

RobboW
07-16-14, 12:08 AM
There's also that socially awkward feeling. What is correct and incorrect social protocol.

stef
07-16-14, 03:18 AM
I don't mind the light touching so much but I don't like hugs either!
I live in France now, I'm very used to the "2 kiss greeting". totally ok with this with friends and inlaws, actually. And at least you know what to expect when you meet up with people! But still uncomfortable if for example you meet up at a restaurant and then half the people have to stand up to say hello or you end up having to walk around the table and avoid knocking over glasses with purse...

It's very funny with expats: if you see expat friends with no French people - we just don't do the kiss greeting! It's like there's some unwritten code about this.

I hate the awkward "half hug" in the states.

sarek
07-16-14, 03:33 AM
It could be a sensory or aspie thing. (well this IS the sensory subforum after all)

Personally, what I do not like about the hugging is when its not real. The intimacy of a hug (or that dratted kissing ritual) suggests a level of connection that is often not there.

Not that I don't want it to be there. I am an INFP after all. But social norms are so messed up that we are sending all kinds of mixed messages to others and the hugging ritual is an example of that. Its all a huge staged play and everyone is an actor.

Fuzzy12
07-16-14, 05:02 AM
I love hugs but only with people I feel close to. I absolutely hate the kissy thingy. Uggh...I just don't get it. It feels so fake or as Sarek said, it feels like pretending there is a connection that doesn't exist. Also, I don't like getting my face close to other people's faces. And I too worry about getting it wrong and head butting the other person, especially as you are moving from one cheek to the other.

SB_UK
07-23-14, 04:14 PM
Hate is a strong word but I grew up in France and doing the two kiss thing was so annoying and hugging is kinda worse. I dont know if its the awkwardness of not doing it right and accidentally ending up head butting someone but it really is awful to me. I obviously do it as I dont want to offend but I really dont like physical contact. It makes my skin crawl slightly. Also I hate light touching, brushing anything like that makes me instantly want to punch someone. My dad got me this v expensive massage and this spa and I really just wanted it to stop, it was so ticklish and so uncomfortable and it lasted an hour! I left the place greasy and so tense

I wish this disorder made me not so much a grumpy person!

Hate hugs also - prefer to convey affection using words.
Much better way in this Internetted world - where we're all in 24/7 written communication with one another but not (of course) in hugging distance.

If truth were known I'm happiest in virtual communication miles from physical proximity to humanoid earthlings
- dogs however are necessary and welcome wherever I am.

A point which we often return to is that having the time to think (written communication) is a positive.
There's a greater incentive to say something worth saying.
And there's every possibility for people to point back to something you've just said and tell you that you're not being consistent.

Like that - as consistency is what it's all about
- and if written rather than verbal communication gets us there - then so be it.

So the long and short of it is that I hate all forms of physical contact with human beings (including hugs) and prefer virtual communication across the board.

SB_UK
07-23-14, 04:22 PM
hmmm ... ... love doggy hugs though

addthree
07-23-14, 05:26 PM
I don't like hugs, hand shaking, any of that. I really hate when people want to shake my hand when I am eating. I don't want to touch you than touch my food.

Ruthie212
07-24-14, 11:18 AM
Of course dogs are the best living creatures on this planet, so genuine and sweet

TheChemicals
07-24-14, 03:31 PM
Youve not experienced the chemy hug is why.

I love being touched by those ive chosen to be worthy. Everyone else, its just unconfortable and kinda like attacking me.