I've been going out with my girlfriend for a year and a half now and she has had bipolar disorder since she was very young. Recently she has started hitting me and herself, or scratching, or slapping. She does it for no apparent reason, and if I tell her to stop or it hurts she says something like "oh, you don't want to play?" then she does it again. Sometimes it physically hurts me, but it hurts me more emotionaly to see her hurt herself. She is unmedicated and can't get counseling because her father makes to much money to qualify for state or government health insurance, but the price of the medications is to much for her father to afford. I love her with all of my heart, and I would never leave her and I realize that maybe she can't help it and I just want to help her. Please, if you have any ideas on how to stop this, please help me.

Hi Downward: You don't say how old she is ....But since she is a danger to herself first and foremost (not to mention to you and possibly others), I would encourage you to encourage her to get some help as soon as possible....It sounds to me like she is in a lot of pain and needs a lot of help....If you bring her to the nearest county hospital, I'm sure they will know how to proceed from there.....Untreated bipolar is bad news and you would do best to just get her to some help......and be as supportive as you can at the same time....Please let us know how it goes....I'm sorry you're going through all this...This is a heavy burden for you to have to carry alone...

We are both eighteen, and we are both off of our parent's insurance and we do not make enough to seek help or treatment. How can I be supportive? What can I say, or do to help her stop this?

You? You can't say or do anything to help her stop this...In fact, she probably can't say or do anything to stop or help herself stop it either -- until she gets some help....Bipolar disorder is a serious mental illness. You can read about it elsewhere here OR go to www.bigsplace.com. So to supportive, the best thing you can do, trust me on this, is to suggest she get help...Eighteen is still very young....Even though she is off her parent's insurance, would they support her emotionally, or at least help her find some help?? How is her relationship with her parents? See Downward, I don't think you can take this on alone to help her....it's simply too big...nobody could....Support her to seek other support besides you...if not from her parents then a relative...someone who can help her find a way to get the help she needs....But to stop this? She can't without help....

Your girlfriend may qualify for some sort aid. You may want to look into vocational rehab and other state agencies.

Im sorry I didnt get in here when this was first posted, Ive had personal issues to deal with, so forgive me. My first concerne is that this young man thinks that "saying something" may make a difference in her behaviour. Unfortunately, i was a hitter, I was ful of self hatred after these episodes but an able to stop. I would make promises to myself that I wouldnt hit him again, And I would hit. There is a chemical issue here. Something she is unable to deal with alone. There are many mental health units in counties, I use the one in my county. They give me meds and see me. It goes on a sliding scale fee and if you make nothing, you pay nothing etc. Please dont sit around and think that insurance or cash is the only way to go, there are so many options. Bipolar Disorder is dangerous as many as 40% of us die by our own hands.

It sounds as if your girlfriend has more going on perhaps than bipolar. Bipolar can make you looney (believe me, I know), but it doesn't necessarily lead to aggression of that magnitude. Has she been abused or neglected? Does she remember any traumatic incidences from her past? Her saying ,"So you don't want to play?" sounds like it may be something pretty serious -- like a sort of flashback to abuse that she is "acting out".

How was she diagnosed with bipolar? Have you tried seeing how she cycles? Bipolar usually follows some sort of cycle.

She may need to be hospitalized -- if she becomes a really serious threat to her own health. If she is eighteen perhaps she can get some sort of government aid for herself? A question -- I may be off the mark here -- but why hasn't dad found out anything about the services that are available? There are services out there in the phone book -- if you call around. Dad has a lot of excuses to let his daughter continue to suffer. Could he be an abuser?

And for you -- I am concerned with you. Like I said, why are YOU the one taking care of her, not her parent(s)? I know you don't want to abandon her, but please do not allow YOURSELF to be physically abused, no matter how much you love her. She really needs help asap.

Well said amie and thank you for that point. Many of us bipolars have been abused. Though anger snapping and violence does accur with mania quite often, it is also a number one smptom of abuse. I do hope both kids.......oops new adults............get the help they need.