View Full Version : 'Sup with the coach?


Gourmet
04-04-05, 12:23 AM
Is it just me? I feel kind of wierded out by the idea of a coach. Do any of ya'll have coaches? After all of my reading, I still cannot figure out how that works! Plus, isn't that more bucks on top of behavioral therapy and drugs???!!!

A year ago, I followed the flylady.net website. I would check my email, follow the directions, sit back down to the computer, check my email, follow the directions, etc. etc.
I pretty much checked my cotton pickin' email messages all day long! It was great, and put me on a routine, BUT- I couldn't function without the computer and my email. I did get rid of a lot of clutter and was able to keep the kitchen tidy and my laundry done. Any deviation threw me completely off course. I truly want to get back on the wagon, but now I am so unmotivated. Flylady does not "rock" for me anymore. (boo hoo) And I can't figure out how to do it "allbymyself" :(

Does anybody have a whip they can crack?

Wheezie
04-05-05, 10:08 AM
I did flylady for awhile too and tried my best to shine my sink every night. It didn't all stick but the one thing that did was the organizing calendar. It has taken a new form now, I use my PDA to keep track of all my appointments and family events. I still write the important stuff on the calendar though so no one in the family gets to say "you didn't tell me we're flying to the moon this weekend." Because, it's on the calendar, if they want to know what's going on all they have to do is check -- that's what I'd have to do if they asked me.

On my calendar I even write things like "2:45 leave to pick daughter up from school." Even though I do it every day, I still write it on my calendar.

I also *never* agree to *anything* without consulting my calendar first. My family gave me a hard time about it in the beginning but now the phrase "Iíll have to check my calendar before I can say for sure, but, I *think* that'll work" is greeted with a knowing nod.

My point is that no *one* system has been the answer for me, but, from most of the systems I have tried and actually *applied* -- I've kept at least one good nugget.

My first photography teacher taught me to shoot the whole role, but, only expect 1-2 quality shots to actually be ones that are keepers. I learned to not be disappointed when I'd develop my film by all the shots that didn't turn out, instead, I'd get excited about finding the keepers on the roll.

I found one keeper at flylady.net -- that's doing well in my book.

do you think that you might be expecting too much at once - from yourself, the meds, behaviour therapy, etc.? just wondering. you seem frustrated.

... I can't figure out how to do it "allbymyself" :(


last question, what is *it*?

fly ;) ,

W.

Ian
04-05-05, 01:12 PM
I draw from a lot of sources. Although I like the flylady routines, I certainly don't take them all on. I take what works and don't sweat the rest.

My struggles revolve mostly around procrastination, so just keeping moving helps me.

Diet, exercise, and sleep aren't all that glamorous but they play a huge role in my resiliency.

Keeping hot carbs (bread, pasta, spuds, sugar) to a minimum helps keep my emotions on an even keel. Exercise seems to boost my mood quite a bit if I can keep from over doing it. Sleep makes a more active lifestyle possible.

My coach is someone I trust completely. She's been sick for a couple of months and I'm missing her, but after several years of work, I'm not grinding to a halt in her absence.

I used to look more for a whip cracking (shush Wheezie!) than I do now. Now I look for the smallest entry point that I think I can sustain, then back that off to something even smaller. My ability to commit to tasks seems quite limited so it's essential that I start really really small. Once a habit is in place I'm able to more easily add to it gradually.
Cheers! Ian.

Gourmet
04-05-05, 01:55 PM
A palm pilot will have to be my next toy. Can it attach to your body, wear it between your boobs? I would probably need to in order not to lose it.But I know they are fantastic.
I was whining to my sister in law and she said that every morning she prints out a copy of the day's calendar for every member of the family. I thought that was pretty cool.

OK. So I am the most impatient person on the planet. "A tendancy to be immature and irrational" I think that was on the checklist of my ADD test.

My sleep exercise, sleep schedule ebbs and flows. I yo yo. I intend to do better. I like to stay up all night and pay on the weekends. But I so think I'm going to take tennis lessons this summer!

Is a coach like a personal trainer and come to your house to watch, or does she/he talk to you on the phone or give you assignments?

Come to think of it, I have learned a couple of things from flylady. Thanks for your ideas too.

Gourmet
04-05-05, 02:00 PM
OK. I figured it out. We have a whole forum on professional coaching... THANKS YA'LL !!

VickiS
04-05-05, 02:19 PM
I signed up for Fylady or few days ago, I got some ideas, but the e-mails are insane!
I am getting 20 plus a day, this A.M I just deleted them all, they freaked me out so much, I do not have time to read her e-mails, much less do the work they are requesting. I am looking into the coaching thing but I am running into resistance cause I already know what I should be doing.....

Ian
04-05-05, 02:57 PM
Vicki go into your settings and get the "digest" if the quantitiy of emails is a hassle. This will bundle your days emails into one and you'll only get the one mailing but it will contain all the says posts.

Wheezie
04-05-05, 05:30 PM
another thing i did was set up the funnels in my e-mail program to direct all Fly-Lady e-mails into their appropriate folders. I'd just delete everything in the folder every so often.

VickiS
04-05-05, 06:15 PM
Soooo, you don't read the e-mails either?

Ian
04-05-05, 07:24 PM
Not a lot of them. If I have time yes but mostly they are just reminders to hit the hot spot or whatever. I do what I can.

Gourmet
04-06-05, 02:56 PM
[QUOTE=Wheezie]
do you think that you might be expecting too much at once - from yourself, the meds, behaviour therapy, etc.? just wondering. you seem frustrated.

Hi Wheezie,
Just want to add something to this question. Maybe some of the others with my frustration will benefit.
I talked to my psychologist yesterday evening. He told me that I "was not falling apart" and that I was trying to do much to "fix" a problem too fast. Just as you suggested.
We are going to slow down and let the medicine kick in. He thinks a lot of my problems will clear up just by taking medicine.
Later, I will touch base with him and together we will decide if I even need to see him at all.
If we do talk, it will be to discuss my thoughts about myself and the way others truly see me. Just want to say Thanks. :)

VickiS
04-06-05, 04:22 PM
If only all you needed to do was wait till your medicine kicks in.....
Flylady has a great point with taking baby steps towards improvement, her format is just overwhelming. I just think of how my life would have changed in the past two days if my keys were just hung up where they belong, yes a baby step, but it would have saved me about two hours yesterday, oh yes and I finally found my meds (I was doing a Fly Lady thing and tossing out old medicines) in the recycling bin yesterday as well.
Is anyone is interested in forming a group that is willing to commit to one tiny step per week? It can be as simple or as organized as we feel like getting. For myself I could use some accountability and a good kick in the behind. And a little more jump rope time!!

Ian
04-06-05, 05:13 PM
Viki that kind of commitment really helpped me when I was trying to get fit. I think you might be onto something.
Ian.

VickiS
04-06-05, 05:23 PM
Yippe!

Wheezie
04-07-05, 11:50 PM
Hi Wheezie,
Just want to add something to this question. Maybe some of the others with my frustration will benefit.
I talked to my psychologist yesterday evening. He told me that I "was not falling apart" and that I was trying to do much to "fix" a problem too fast. Just as you suggested.
We are going to slow down and let the medicine kick in. He thinks a lot of my problems will clear up just by taking medicine.
Later, I will touch base with him and together we will decide if I even need to see him at all.
If we do talk, it will be to discuss my thoughts about myself and the way others truly see me. Just want to say Thanks. :)


Thanks for the feedback, Annie. I'm glad something I wrote made sense to you. The hard part sometimes is recognizing when something fits, and you deserve all the credit for that! :)

for me, the meds were a huge help and a lot of my problems did clear up just from taking the medicine. i was much more aware of time - so i wasn't late! and my memory improved significantly. meds aren't the only thing that i had to do to see the changes i wanted to see. i think the best thing about the diagnosis though was finding that i *am* normal, i just need to hang around the right crowd! :D

take a step. look around to see where your at. take another step. look around again.

sounds a lot better than sprinting into walls!!! ;)

i'm looking forward to hearing more from you ... the good, the bad, and the ugly ... but especially the good! :D

take care,

Wheezie