View Full Version : Advice for friend?

07-27-14, 09:19 PM
One of my friends was recently diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, and I want to be a good friend to lend him a hand when he needs it. He's usually a cheery/upbeat guy, but he has moments of depression and lonliness.

I regret trying to push him out of his depressive states, back before he was diagnosed. I don't really know anything about bi-polar, but it's not something you can fight against, is it? I can understand the medical definition, but I can never relate to what it's like to live with it. I myself am diagnosed with ADHD, and I know it's not something that can easily be explained, or understood. A lot of times I have to remind myself it's not a simple fluke he can snap out of.

Despite being friends for years, he gets depressed when I forget to text him back, and he assumed I no longer want to be friends with him. Of course that's not the case; I just forget to reply back if I'm busy with something else. He doesn't want to take medication (he had a bad experience with ADHD meds) and I really don't know how to assist.

I especially don't want to tell him that sometimes, I'm just too burned out to talk to him. Anything I say seems to depress him even more. I can't tell him to 'snap out of it' but I can't cheer him up either. What is there that I can do when he's not his cheery self?

07-27-14, 09:58 PM
For me, just knowing "someone's there" helps a lot.

You're right, you can't snap him out of it, he can't snap himself out of it.

It will pass.

Sometimes it may take months to pass, but that's just how it is.

(referring to his depressive state)

08-02-14, 03:51 AM
If he won't treat his bipolar there is ZERO you can do to help him. It doesn't matter if he has issues with adhd meds, bipolar meds are different. I have yet to meet someone who is truly bipolar and doing well untreated. You can't take an inch of responsibilty for his depression or moods. If he thinks you don't care about him because you don't answer right away thats his perception. Bipolar can definitely color the way you view relationships. Its not your job to prop him up, he needs to be a part of his own treatment.