View Full Version : Im so drained with Tantrums..Do brain scans work??Blood Work??


Rainbows
07-30-14, 03:33 PM
He has been worse since off his meds and we are still waiting on the patch to come in. Hes throwing everything and anything he can as well.

He can not be told no or wait, its his way or no way. Today it started he wouldnt get up so I walked out the door with out him( yes another adult was home with him) and I couldn't wait for him so he got mad. I tried several times to get get him up for almost an hour! Since -hes been blowing over everything and anything.

He's been in a mood since.. calling us names such as dumbo, stupid,idiot, shut up lier, blaming us for everything wrong. He is really going at it because there was no more of a certain icecream left and someone put a "spoonful left in the box" back in the freezer and he blew slamming the freezer saying why , started screaming why, demanding us to take him to the store now and get more. Hes screaming "Im starving to death, we wont let him eat or drink" Umm the refrigerator and cabinets are full with food, as the pantry closet!!! Plus I was trying to fix him food,and buy him food. I offered for him to help make something!! Hes already out of control most times at the store and already in a bad mood I wasnt going to take him. Hes demanding me to go NOW, I told him no not today and he kept screaming it over and over again. Earlier I said Id send my dad to get a sundae or such through the drive through he still refused. Heck drives thru's are bad most the time with him too. Anyways he just told me he hates me and wishes I was dead again.

This child is more than ADHD/ODD and Im going to throw a party once someone takes the time to help him and not just put the blame on me. Of course it is probably my fault because in my family mental disorders run as well as I swear their father but he claims no.I feel so guilty and so horrible when I have yelled back and I know that makes it worse and I know Im wrong.

I have seen on the internet where they have pictures of BiPolar Brain Scans vs Normal, Schizophrenia ADHD etc. I know they do several meet and greets with questions and "written" tests but do the Brain Scans and any type of blood test confirm even more? His "Sleep Test" revealed his Violence and no seizures. Not sure about the ADHD but Dr kept him on the meds. Sorry this is so long. We have an appt coming up in Sept for his Neurologist but Im calling a therapist to see about starting him up even without meds. Who tests for all those brain scans/blood work?

jlynn30
07-30-14, 03:55 PM
I'm not sure about who would do brain scans and such.

I just wanted to give you a big virtual hug! It is so hard being a mama...especially with all the extra stuff that goes on with our kiddos. Remember you are doing the best you can. I hope you guys can find some answers soon.

LynneC
07-30-14, 04:04 PM
OK, sorry of you've covered this before, but how old is your son, and who has diagnosed him and is managing his ADHD with regard to meds? (ie pediatrician or other doc?)
If it's his pediatrician and you have not sought help elsewhere, it may be time to seek out someone who specializes in childhood developmental /psychiatric disorders such as a developmental pediatrician, a pediatric neurologist or a psychiatrist whose practice is centered around children's developmental disorders.

Have you had a chance to read through any of the essays at Dizfriz's Corner? There are some very good suggestions about how to manage the type of behavior that you are describing through behavior modification techniques. It is not an instant fix, but these techniques do work for many...

There aren't any brain scans that definitively tell you what disorder he is suffering from, as far as I know.

Can you elaborate on what the sleep scan showed, regarding his aggression?

Rainbows
07-30-14, 04:14 PM
jlynn30, thank you , it so hard, I know you all understand.

LynneC, Its ok, he's 8 years old and his Pediatricians( big group) one finally sent him to a Child Neurologist after several years of saying it was me because I brought in the questionare, note from teachers, his old speech teacher as well. The Neurologist put him on the meds and we go every 2/3 months.

Yes, Ill start reading Dizfriz's corner again. Thank you!

zette93
07-30-14, 06:05 PM
As far as I know, brain scans and blood work are not currently used for diagnosis of mood and developmental disorders (bipolar, autism, schizophrenia, ADHD, etc). Any news you've seen about them is likely reports on fundamental brain research where they are hoping to SOMEDAY understand what is different and perhaps offer diagnostic tests and treatments. There is one EEG test that has been approved for ADHD, but only as an add-on to the current practice of diagnosing with case history, observation, and questionaires.

I'm not sure that a neurologist is the best specialist to be seeing, as their expertise tends more toward seizures and tumors. How long have you been seeing this one? When my son went on meds it was monthly for at least a year until we were confident his meds were optimized, so I wouldn't be happy with the 2/3 month interval. I would recommend seeing a developmental pediatrician if you can find one, or a child psychiatrist if there is a family history of bipolar.

You may still find that those doctors are primarily focused on med management, and you really need a behavioral therapist as well. Someone who has experience in Applied Behavioral Analysis might be a good fit. You want someone who focuses on helping you identify the causes/triggers (ie antecedents) of the meltdowns and tantrums, and helps you come up with plans to reduce stresses and teach missing skills.

Rainbows
08-02-14, 04:30 PM
Thanks zette93, we have been seeing him for a year now. See thats what I thought that we would go in every month like your son did. No proven Bipolar on either side. I am still aiming for a therapist for coping skills, etc for him/us.

ninaballerina
08-03-14, 05:28 AM
This child is more than ADHD/ODD and Im going to throw a party once someone takes the time to help him and not just put the blame on me. Of course it is probably my fault because in my family mental disorders run as well as I swear their father but he claims no.I feel so guilty and so horrible when I have yelled back and I know that makes it worse and I know Im wrong.


Hi there, I have no brilliant answer I'm afraid but I know exactly how this feels for you.
Something I have learned from this wonderful forum - it's not my fault. It's nobody's fault. It just is what it is.
Big hugs and understanding to you from Australia xxxx

sarahsweets
08-03-14, 05:57 AM
"It's not your fault -it's not your fault -its not your fault. "
Look in the mirror and say that out loud. So many ignorant as*holes believe it is "parental " malfunction when its a real disorder with real consequences. If adhd, bipolar, ODD or any other issue could he solved by a proper beating or severe punishment, then I guess all if us who had the sh*t kicked out of us should be perfect adults.

Rainbows
08-04-14, 12:38 PM
Thank you ninaballerina and sarahsweets.

megatuxracer
08-10-14, 04:15 PM
I think the most important thing to remember is that you haven't done anything wrong, nor is your child's misunderstanding of the situation anything wrong. It is what it is.

If you aren't already, I would recommend you seeking therapy with and apart from your child. My mother went through great difficulty raising me as well. Neither of us were well-equipped to deal with everyday life. In addition to therapy, I would also recommend both of you go through coaching. Equipping yourself with the tools necessary to raise your child and equipping your child with the tools necessary to manage everyday life are both essential. He will eventually have to learn them as will you. I have seen some stuff on behavioral modification techniques where creating instant and immediate consequences to your child's actions work wonders. There are specialists who coach specifically for parents raising ADHD children.

The most important thing to remember is that this is just as challenging for him as it is to you. Love and understanding will bring you through this. That's the approach my parents took. My parents made mistakes as do all parents, they weren't ever equipped to parent an ADHD child, but they were always loving and understanding and they always stuck to their principles. I can't think of anyone I love more than my mom and dad. The results were overall positive.

And it's okay to remove yourself from the situation because you need to.

Sparknotes: It's not your fault. It's not your child's fault. The situation isn't perfect. Both of you should seek assistance. Love your child and both of you will be stronger on the other side.

HADDaball
08-13-14, 03:01 AM
Bringing up an ADHD/ ODD kid must be the hardest job on earth.

I'd say seek advice from a professional.

Rainbows
08-14-14, 10:50 AM
Thank yo both and Im trying to get him seen by other Dr.s of every and any sense. In fact, Im calling his Dr again now.

Megatuxracer- I Love hearing you say how much you love your parents, its nice to hear that and Im sorry you and your family struggled. Hope everything is good for you.

HADDaball- This is very hard for me, I mean, my cousin had behavior issues, so I was able to understand a little when I had my son, but even so , by cousing wasnt as hard as my son.

Lunacie
08-14-14, 12:42 PM
If you had gone to the store (without him if possible) and got more ice cream, do you think he would have been able to calm down?

To me, the most important information in Dizfriz's Corner is that kids with ADHD (or many mental disorders) have behaviors more appropriate to' kids who are about 1/3 younger - it's a developmental delay.

Do you think your son behaves more like at 5 or 6 year old would?

If you answered "no" to either question, then I agree there is more than just ADHD.

In which case he isn't "throwing tantrums", he's having an emotional meltdown and cannot stop until he blows through it.

We found Play Therapy very helpful for my granddaughter (dx autism) and working with case managers through our mental health clinic. They helped her learn to recognize her feelings and practice ways to self-calm.

Another thing to consider - some kids react very strongly to certain added food dyes. We are considering that I myself have this problem with some foods - I know some scented products do crazy things to my emotional stability.

silivrentoliel
08-14-14, 12:49 PM
I don't have the attention span to read all this... but has he been through CBT? It would probably help both him with managing his anger, and you guys with managing it when he can't. Does he see someone for more than just med adjustments?

ToneTone
08-14-14, 03:13 PM
You might need to get another evaluation and diagnosis for your child. And look: this kid absolutely needs the support and intervention of a skilled therapist.

Meeting a neurologist every 2 to 3 months is totally inadequate. This is WAY MORE than simply ADHD. I say this to encourage you in getting support. You are going to be worn out and depressed yourself unless you can get some intensive help.

And this is absolutely not your fault. I understand the impulse to blame your genes but we do not control our genes and genetic testing is not at the point where we can know exactly what bad genes we have, etc. I have a brother who has three disabled kids. He has struggled with guilt and shame.

For you and your husband and for the child find a therapist. Ironically a good therapist can help with finding the right meds even though they don't prescribe meds. And the kid has to learn how to regulate his moods and calm himself. And all the agony takes a toll on the kid's esteem and confidence.

I think it 's insane that the neurologist hasn't insisted on adding therapy as well. And keep looking until you find a good therapist.

Good luck. You are good.

Having a kid with problems does not make you bad!

Tone

Dizfriz
08-14-14, 03:47 PM
I don't have the attention span to read all this... but has he been through CBT? It would probably help both him with managing his anger, and you guys with managing it when he can't. Does he see someone for more than just med adjustments?
Usually 8 is a little young for CBT. They just don't process all that much with verbal reasoning yet. Some aspects of CBT can help and there may be a form of CBT appropriate for 8 year olds but I am not familiar with it.

CBT is great stuff but not necessary for this age. Actually Play Therapy is more appropriate for eight year old kids.

Dizfriz

Lunacie
08-14-14, 03:54 PM
Usually 8 is a little young for CBT. They just don't process all that much with verbal reasoning yet. Some aspects of CBT can help and there may be a form of CBT appropriate for 8 year olds but I am not familiar with it.

CBT is great stuff but not necessary for this age. Actually Play Therapy is more appropriate for eight year old kids.

Dizfriz

Especially 8 year olds that are developmentally closer to 5 or 6 year olds.

zette93
08-14-14, 05:37 PM
We were referred to a therapist at an autism center who called it CBT to distinguish it from their ABA program, but in reality it turned out to be mostly play based. The therapist wasn't a good fit, and we dropped it after 3 months. What we really needed at the time was someone like Ross Greene to help us figure out the triggers of meltdowns and how to prevent them. What we got was someone who focused on labeling emotion pictures and letting DS win at games so he wouldn't melt down during the session.

I post this not to discourage you from seeking a therapist, but to ask the right questions about the person's approach and the content of the therapy before you hire them.

My sons violent meltdowns were solved by removing him from public school and placing him in a special ed school for kids with AS. They knew how to help him at school, and less stress overall in his life eliminated the meltdowns at home.

silivrentoliel
08-14-14, 08:01 PM
Usually 8 is a little young for CBT. They just don't process all that much with verbal reasoning yet. Some aspects of CBT can help and there may be a form of CBT appropriate for 8 year olds but I am not familiar with it.

CBT is great stuff but not necessary for this age. Actually Play Therapy is more appropriate for eight year old kids.

Dizfriz


Play Therapy! That's what I was thinking of... my brain doesn't work when I'm babysitting.

Rainbows
10-06-14, 03:18 PM
Thanks everyone, I felt embarrassed asking of they work but Im so desperate for solid proof of whatever is wrong with both my kids. Also sorry Im just now responding back, I get so nonstop venting or complaining I start so many topics talking about my daily struggles every day I am trying to to do that here. But I will be posting a new update thread.. well, everything is worse really...

Lunacie
10-06-14, 04:33 PM
Play Therapy! That's what I was thinking of... my brain doesn't work when I'm babysitting.

Your brain is probably doing exactly what it's supposed to be doing - keeping track of all those kids.

I see so many moms in stores and restaurants who are busy talking on their cell phone or their table partner and ignoring the kids.

So everyone does this - one focus at a time.