I was having difficulty communicating something to my hubby so he said that I should yell a bit louder - that way I might get my message through. I didn't realise he was being sarcastic so I yelled at him.

Another time when I was talking to by doc about a lack of sleep and tiredness he said, "We'll have to put you to sleep". I looked at him with a look of horror - I was thinking of his comment in the veterinarian context.

Does anyone else have this kind of thing happen. I find it can be really embarressing.

No, I don't a problem with that.....

My husband as a problem with being very sarcastic when ever he speaks to anyone !!!

He doesn't think so and says it's my ADD that makes me think he is ... Which is really not right, he really is !

My situation is the exact opposite - I can't take anything at face value. Everything I hear, see and read is evaluated from umpteen different view points and carefully dissected to see if there was an implied message beyond the stated obvious. This may be a learned coping mechanism, I do recall having the same embarrassed and hurt feelings as a child when I would always assume that people are saying what they mean...I'm afraid I'm a bit jaded now.

Originally posted by why
My situation is the exact opposite - I can't take anything at face value. Everything I hear, see and read is evaluated from umpteen different view points and carefully dissected to see if there was an implied message beyond the stated obvious.

This is me too.

It's got me into lots of trouble and it's also saved me too. I don't do this when I'm on my meds. and it's a relief on me and my friends..lol.. I'm a talker so I'll oppressively go over it and over it to anyone that'll listen....

My daughter(13 yo) will say " Mom ! okay enough, I hear you,let it go".....

Just read a posting by Tudorose on "taking things literally". I felt compelled to write about this. I have learned in working with clients that there are two basic styles of taking in information and two basic styles of expressing information. These are "literal" and "inferential". Those that take in "literally" take information in at face value - what they hear is what they believe is meant. Then there are the "inferentials" who read into everything that is said rather than taking things at face value. We also express "literally" and "inferentially". If you think about it for a moment, it is a wonder that anyone communicates....and then you add in AD/HD and the communication can become even more challenging to understand and be understood. So yes...many people, especially with AD/HD have this challenge.

You can read more about this in a book by Dr. John Kappas on E & P Suggestibility and Sexuality.

TheStrategiesCoach

Originally posted by why
My situation is the exact opposite - I can't take anything at face value. Everything I hear, see and read is evaluated from umpteen different view points and carefully dissected to see if there was an implied message beyond the stated obvious. This may be a learned coping mechanism, I do recall having the same embarrassed and hurt feelings as a child when I would always assume that people are saying what they mean...I'm afraid I'm a bit jaded now.
Yeah that's exactly me.

From what I know this tendency not to take anythign at face value is quite typical of AD(H)D, whereas a persisting problem with taking things literally is more typical of Aspergers and nonverbal learning disorders (which share some of these aspects with AS).

I had that problem as a kid too, and I remember being VERY embarrassed by it in high school and late elementary school, because some of my peers figured it out about me and thought it was WONDERFULLY amazing to say strange things to me and then watch as I squirmed, trying to figure out whether or not they meant it.

I had an uncle who did that to me when we were building a new house - I had been promised that a part of the basement I liked was going to be part of my room, and he told me the plan was to wall it off into a closet for another section. As a kid I knew I had no authority to protest, but I was furious at the same time, so I sat shaking on the floor in that section for about half an hour before screwing up the courage to go complain to my mother about the situation... she of course told me he was teasing me, and he laughed about it in front of me afterwards.

I have always hated that uncle since that incident.

A lot of people used to say to me, don't take it personally, develop a thicker skin, you need to be able to have fun with people.

And I have developed a thicker skin, and I can do that nowadays, but underneath I have never forgiven the people who made it necessary for me to grow that thick skin, and I never will.

I tend to be accused of "not taking things at face value" AND "being literal."

Go figure.

I have that problem too- and it's gotten me into many embarrasing situations.

As a kid, I couldn't tell when people were yanking my chain- and learned the hard way to always ask myself "Are they serious?"

Ironically, that leads me into more embarrasing situations- where someone WAS serious; and I decided that they weren't.

One funny situation was when a friend of mine was going to fix my computer, and I offered compensate him for his time. He said, "Just bring canned goods."

He was just joking, but I made myself the butt of the joke when I showed up not only with my computer but with canned soups and vegetables too!!

Wish I could offer advice...

I also spend way to much time evaluating what people have said to try and find out if there is a hidden meaning. Last year I made the mistake of thinking by peoples actions at work I was going to be fired. I asked my boss and she wondered what the heck I was talking about. I try not to do it but I can't seem to stop. I am still employed at the same place

Can I tell you my story for the day?
Sigh.

I'm going on a date tomorrow, and my date asked me what music I liked, I told him then asked him his. He said "Gangster, and Satanic Cult music were his favorite" Now we were messaging each other, so I took it as fact and asked "Was he serious?" and he said I was a silly for, of course, he was joking and asked "why I took him seriously. I don't know him very well, we met at a low carb store and this is only our second meeting.

I felt foolish, I actually got him nervous about the date due to my taking everything as fact. I just don't get the male "boy this is obvious" joking. You know what I mean?

Obviously, we aren't specifically taking things literally, but we are misconstruing the context in which the language is used. Literally, to take things literally means to interpret the language in a denotative manner. Maybe the real criterion for disorders in which "taking things literally" is present should really be worded as before, a misinterpretation of context. This would benifit those who take things literally. Maybe I am just taking things literally ... :)

I think I do both...most of the time-somehow I ALWAYS end up being the butt of the joke-that gets annoying. People wonder why I keep so quiet around people sometimes...I just dont want to be laughed at.

Indeed. there was a presentation on NPR about this particular disability. An academic study was created around an individual with adequate intelligence who could do risk analysis of other sorts, but could do do the 'same" anaylis when the domain was social interaction, specifically involving others NOT "keeping" a social contract... lieing or deceiving.

The reporter was a woman.

I provided it to a Ph.D. testing speciallist who was fascinated with it. it called into question the idea that an ability could be domain specific for either expression or failure to express.

I regret that the computer i was using at the time, and therefore the email containing the full text of the study and the summary analysis has failed and the backups are inoperative. so much for making backups at all!

Cheating minds, and the value of cheating in social interaction, and the value of being able to detect cheating.

http://www.psych.ucsb.edu/research/cep/

http://discover.npr.org/features/feature.jhtml?wfId=1148238

Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, August 13, 2002
Does the human mind have an evolved cognitive specialization for reasoning about social exchange, including a subroutine for detecting cheaters?* Neural and cross-cultural evidence that our minds contain evolved adaptations for reasoning about social exchange -- presented in two new PNAS companion papers:

*

Selective Impairment of Reasoning About Social Exchange in a Patient with Bilateral Limbic System Damage (PNAS #3526) by Valerie Stone, Leda Cosmides, John Tooby, Neal Kroll, and Robert Knight

*

Cross-Cultural Evidence of Cognitive Adaptations for Social Exchange among the Shiwiar of Ecuadorian Amazonia (PNAS #3529) by Lawrence S. Sugiyama, John Tooby, and Leda Cosmides

These PNAS papers provide surprising new evidence that our neural architecture has evolved specializations for reasoning about social exchange. That cheater detection can be impaired without impairing other reasoning abilities suggests that this cognitive competence is caused by a functionally isolable brain mechanism (#3526). That this brain mechanism reliably develops even in disparate cultural contexts suggests that it is a universal feature of human nature (#3529). Because social exchange allows trade, this evolved competence provides a cognitive foundation for human economic activity and other forms of cooperation. <Click here for more>


The results are relevant to debates about:


The nature of human rationality
Whether selection pressures identified by evolutionary biologists can be shown to have shaped higher mental functions in humans. Also: Which components of the mind should be universal, and which shouldvary with culture?
Social intelligence: Does the human brain contain neural specializations designed to deal with the social world, as distinct from other types of information?