View Full Version : New city... new school

08-08-14, 11:12 PM
Any parents out there that have experienced moving states/cities with their ADHD child? We recently moved (again) and have no family here nor friends. My son seems to be having a very hard time with this and is upset that he has no friends and tonight after being sent to his room because he had a meltdown tantrum at our new neighbors house that we met only yesterday he cried that he was having a hard time fitting in and that he has no friends and he doesnt know what to do calling himself stupid and just so upset over this that I could barely calm him.

My daughter that does not have ADHD has not had an issue making new friends and he sees that all the girls her age play together he feels that he should have a "million friends". I tried to explain to him that a person only needs one friend one good true friend and that it takes time to develop a friendship and that he should be himself and get to know people but he doesnt understand.

It has broke my heart to see the hurt in his eyes and not comprehending that he isnt going to make a classroom of friends in 1 day. He seems to see that the other kids know each other already and he feels like he doesnt fit in. I want to help him but I just dont know exactly how to because we are still working on him controlling his emotions and being sensitive to other peoples feelings around him. We were getting a little better about things but now that we've moved it seems to have set him back.

Has anyone gone through something like this?

08-09-14, 05:36 AM
I'm curious how old is your son?

08-09-14, 07:51 AM
He is 9 years old

08-09-14, 06:30 PM
I feel your pain, and that of your son's. We moved here when ds was 7 and all the kids on the block had been here since they were babies. He was the outsider and was treated as such. The fact that he had adhd made it even worse. I got him involved in activities that took him off the block as often as possible.

08-15-14, 11:24 AM
We just moved to a new city and kids will be starting a new school in a few weeks.

The kids were fortunate to connect with a neighbour child who was also new and looking for a friend and is between their ages. Different school though.

What I have read and experienced is there are always kids who are on the fringes socially looking for new friends. They may be like my DD, who attempted to make friends with every new child at her old school, in which case my advice (to my DD) is to look for someone like that - i.e. the person who makes an effort or seems to be looking for a new friend.

Or they might be the quieter kids, but the teacher will know who they are - so checking in with his teacher for friend suggestions could be very helpful.

Any activity at school that he can join? Our schools have easy ones like lunch helpers and recycling teams that anyone can do - my DD will be doing this as a way to meet friends this fall.

I have told my kids - and hopefully I will be right - that making new friends will happen at the new school much the way it did at the old. Which is different for each of them based on their personality, but the patterns have been consistent.

Best of luck. It's very painful to see our kiddos go through this.