View Full Version : I don't know where to put this


BellaVita
08-10-14, 01:09 AM
My thoughts are spinning out of control so many of them like hundreds all attacking my brain at once

My emotions are unstable flipping back and forth

Like depression will suddenly hit me and I cry fountains

I've been taking Trazodone to help calm me down allll throughout the day

So restless with inner energy but the racing crowded thoughts and like I can't handle it

It's gone on for too long

I feel like I'm going crazy I don't know what's wrong with me

I just want to be in control my brain is in control of me

I could scream!!!!!!!!!!!

It's been nonstop like this for days now and right now I feel like I'm giving up that I can't handle this crazy ride anymore

But I have to

BellaVita
08-10-14, 01:29 AM
What do I do :(

What is wrong how do I fix it

I'm so confused and thoughts racing and why am I so unstable

What the heck is wrong with me

Why can't I just function normal

Why do my thoughts have to be so much and then my emotions

I'm barely managing not to appear crazy to outsiders

I don't even know what I need

How to help myself right now

I just know I have to let this out and that if I don't my brain will explode

It is exploding it's leaking and filling the room with my thoughts

I want everything to be okay

From the moment I wake up to the moments I finally fall asleep from exhaustion sometimes days with little or no sleep

I want to do something intelligent and serve others

My thoughts are all over the place and I see connections and then I see them shooting in different directions

What thought is right and why can't the right one come up?

I wish I could just have peace and quiet

BellaVita
08-10-14, 01:45 AM
Too many questions and too many no answers

Too much too much too much

dvdnvwls
08-10-14, 02:04 AM
Don't give up - it gets better from here.

((((((((((BellaVita))))))))))

stef
08-10-14, 03:55 AM
write everything down and then destroy the notebook :grouphug:

sarahsweets
08-10-14, 05:27 AM
How bout Iinpatient? Alot of them have low income plans where you play a little at time

BellaVita
08-10-14, 05:29 AM
I keep looking for signs and impressions in my head from God so that I know what to do next or figure out answers

And like even for what to type or say I feel in my brain as I'm typing if I'm impressed to type it or not

VeryTired
08-10-14, 12:39 PM
Bella--

I'm worried about you. You need some help on this. It sounds like neither you nor God is going to fix this right now. How about a therapist? Can you see someone for an office visit, if in-patient isn't what you want right now?

You have been scarily up and down recently, and it sounds like you have tried everything you can think of, but it isn't making you feel better. Times like that are when getting help is the only good answer.

Lots of sympathy--lots of concern--

peripatetic
08-10-14, 02:41 PM
hey bella,

when is the last time you saw your prescribing physician? are you on any medications now?

i don't know if you've been formally assessed for bipolar, but i've seen you speak of being "mixed" and "manic" at times and what you're describing certainly sounds in line with that diagnosis (though i personally don't have bipolar, so i'm going more off of what i know of the criteria and the bipolar folks i've been close to). if you haven't been, i strongly encourage you to get a professional assessment because, if that is your situation, mood stabilizers can go a long way to helping. many people's lives have been made possible by getting proper treatment and what you've described so often points toward something other than anxiety alone being the problem. furthermore, if it is bipolar, the it's unlikely you'll begin to feel better/balanced without mood stabilizers.

best to you xx

HADDaball
08-24-14, 02:40 AM
Have you heard the story about the man who drowned in a flood?

There was a big flood, so he climbed onto the roof of his house.

The water kept rising, so he prayed to god.

Then, someone in a boat came along to help them, but they turned them away thinking 'I want God to help me'.

The water covered the roof, so he prayed again.

Then, a helicopter came and dangled a rope, offering to save them.

But they turned them away, hoping for Gods help.

They drowned and were reborn in heaven.

They asked Peter at the pearly gates - 'why didn't God help me'?

Peter smiled and said 'He did. He sent a person in a boat and a helicopter...'

So the moral of the story is:

Don't wait for God's intervention - consider getting some help with this.

Fuzzy12
08-24-14, 10:14 AM
bells, i can just repeat what the others have said: please get help. Is there anyone you can call who can help you get help? It sounds like you might be having a manic or mixed episode.


bella, i really think that's the next step: get help. You shouldn't have to suffer like this again and again.

willow129
08-24-14, 11:05 AM
I don't know anything about bipolar but I'm hoping that you get help soon **huuugs** People here know what they're talking about. Can you go to a walk in clinic or hospital?