View Full Version : Persistent low mood affecting everything


missmedusa
08-19-14, 01:01 AM
I've been a negative person for as long as I can remember. I'm not sure if my meds are making it worse, or just bringing out the "real me" , or just making me aware of how people are reacting to me since I can actually focus a bit now...but it is really beginning to interfere with my life.

I am in a bad mood more often than not..usually angry/irritable. I tried the whole "think positive, think of what you're grateful for" thing, and while I can think of things that I am grateful for, I do not ever feel truly happy. It makes it hard to do school work or be cheerful and productive at work.

Today I quit my job because I have such a low threshold for stress anymore that I could not handle dealing with customers and all the things that I had to get done. An acquaintance/friend also passed away recently which upset me and I just found out today while I was there at work. I was already stressed, and then I just couldn't take it anymore.

I work at a place where there are a lot of rich customers who basically ignore you and expect you to serve them without a word...but also with a smile and as fast as possible, and etc.

Most people seem to think that I am lazy and/or stupid, selfish, narcissistic etc. I'm starting to realize that they probably aren't off the mark. When I text my friends I am often ignored. When I talk to my family they often tune me out completely.

Although I have quite a few long time friends, I never manage to fit in with a "group". None of my friends actually know each other from common places. I tend to make like...one friend at school or work. Even then, I'm quite certain that those friends sort of "put" up with me, as does my family. I think that people don't enjoy my company. I think that I annoy and bring everyone down. I just had a birthday dinner last night and for some reason it was extremely awkward.

I'm not sure what to do anymore. I do not know how to fix what is wrong with me. I've been told to seek professional help, and I've been to a psychologist a few times for ADHD to whom I also mentioned the issue with my pessimism. She didn't help with either. Honestly, going to a counselor or similar professional makes me extremely nervous, and going from person to person until I find "the right one" isn't something I think I can do.

I'm probably just a bit of a wimp, but maybe some of you who have experience in this area could offer some insight. I don't know if it's depression or some other issue related to personality/medication, but any outside perspectives would be appreciated.

Lifesucks
08-20-14, 09:21 PM
Hi missm.

I saw u had no response from your post yesterday and it has made me sad! So i registered on her to reply. I dont really have much to say to make u feel better. I feel the same. I am hoping things will naturally lift slightly for me. I have been on 300 mg venlafaxine for 3 yrs almost and still get terrible days. What meds r u on? Depression really is the worst thing ever. No one can really help you (i dont mean u personally, i mean anyone suffering) . Its an extreamly lonely disease. That can make people even more distant. What is your plan now re work?

missmedusa
08-22-14, 02:42 AM
Hi "lifesucks" , I can't believe you registered just to respond to me!
Ever since I quit my job, I've been feeling better. The first day was awful, but after that I've felt more balanced. I didn't realize how much the job was depressing me.
I have been freelance tutoring on the side for a couple months now, my plan is to try and get a few more students, and if not...find a small 5-8 hr a week job on campus.
I'm not sure if the job was the entire reason behind the depression, as I've felt like this for a long time...but I've hated almost all of my previous jobs too...but not being there has certainly alleviated a great deal of stress.
I wasn't on any meds other than adderall for ADHD, and had not officially been diagnosed with depression by an MD/Psych .

Maybe whatever is causing your depression is something that is yet unknown to you. Of course, I think it is possible that many people who have depression simply feel an imbalance regardless of life circumstances. Since I'm not sure of your life circumstances, I'm not sure if I could be of any help to you, but I hope you are able to find a way to alleviate yourself of it as soon as possible.

Thanks for caring about my little dramatic rant <3

Little Missy
08-22-14, 02:50 AM
I cared about your persistent depression but I am so persistently depressed myself that I just didn't even have an encouraging word at the moment for you.
All I can do sometimes is the best I can for the day, the hour, or at times minute by minute.

missmedusa
08-22-14, 03:25 AM
Little Missy, I agree. I think sometimes that is all you can do. I've been doing it for most of my life, probably, but certain things seem to make the depression or whatever it is "spike".

I mainly asked for advice because I was feeling very lost at the time. A lot of things have happened in the past few years to make things get very bad before they got better.

I hope you are able to feel better someday, and that maybe if there is a particular situation causing the depression...that you will be able to take some action to mitigate it.

Fuzzy12
08-22-14, 03:58 AM
miss medusa, that's really sweet. Hope you'll stick around for a little longer. :)

there is help. Medication can make a big difference as can counselling though you said that that wasn't for you. Do see a professional though please.

apart from that there's lots of things you can do to lift your mood:

1. Exercise. I know it's tough espe ially when you are feeling low but it can make a huge, huge difference.

2. Do something you enjoy every day, just tk have something to look forward to, a reason to get out of bed...maybe learn something new, new hobby, volunteering, etc.

3. Omega 3 supplements or vit b: supposed to help with energy.

i know it's tough to get the energy or motivation to do anything when you are dpressed but if you can get yourself to start doing more things you'll probably feel much better. Meds can help to give you a bit of a kick start.

Little Missy
08-22-14, 04:31 AM
Thanks to all of you. I believe that this persistent depressive episode I am going through is because of an extremely uprooting move choice that I made which definitely is the right move and I knew I'd be going through the most anxious months of my life but it appears I have secured my forever home. It has been the downsizing of my parents things in two huge estate sales that have just torn me apart. I am focusing on being grateful right now.