View Full Version : Consumed with the anxiety that my gf might be pregnant


Dja427
10-04-14, 07:57 PM
To start off her and i are both 18 years old and we are USUALLY very responsible. However, last Saturday there was a small incident that has been scaring me to the point to where it is hard to sleep and it keeps me up at night. Okay so this is what happened. Basically there was EXTREMELY brief vaginal penetration( maybe 15 seconds at the absolute most with no condom unfortunately). There was no movement or anything. Also I'd like to point out I didn't see any pre ejaculate before hand. So I went the whole week absolutely shaking from terrible anxiety knowing I cannot talk to my psychiatrist about this cause my parents would fine out. I'd also like to point out she is experiencing all her usual PMS symptoms as usual on time and everything but i assume that means nothing. Yesterday after going out to dinner with her we went to Walmart and got a pregnancy test and took it there. It was flat out negative with no faint second line or anything. However her period is supposed to be this Thursday so I doubt it is accurate at all. However based on these circumstances are the chances of her being pregnant high? Even with the negative test? I'm just so absolutely scared. My girlfriend keeps telling me everything is going to be okay and deep down i think i believe her but i always have those "what if" moments 24/7 and it's tearing me apart. I'm just so scared and all i want to do is cry in my room. As you can probably tell this isn't happening again in the future the way it happened. In fact I think this scared me from sexual actions for a long time. However right now I am just losing it.

dvdnvwls
10-04-14, 11:52 PM
More than 20 years ago, something similar happened to me. (Actually I guess my gf at the time and I had more reason to be scared, but she turned out not to be pregnant.) It's difficult to face the fact that the past is the past and that no amount of worrying or wishing can change it - that all you can do now is continue life as normal as possible and hope for good news.

We (with ADHD I mean) can be overdramatic at times. Don't stress your gf too badly over this; that won't help her and won't make things better. I'm not saying there's nothing to be concerned about, just that handling difficult times well needs to be one of your goals. Be extremely kind and supportive to your gf, and don't get caught up in your own fear or guilt.

Best wishes for the future. Whatever happens, be kind to each other and do the best you can.

Flory
10-04-14, 11:57 PM
Coming From someone impulsive that's not as cautious as you are I can tell you almost 95% that she won't be pregnant. The chance is realllllly small and you say she is having pms symptoms so should be ok...also in future there's the morning after pill and IUD though best advice would be from a family planning centre.

However she needs to go on some birth control pills or other birth control because slip ups can and do happen..

Cyanide
10-04-14, 11:59 PM
Hi Dja427, from what you've described the chance of pregnancy doesn't really seem all that high to me. I know how horrible it can be to obsess over something that worries you so much and how hard it can be to let it go.

For what it's worth it seriously does sound like you will be fine, while I'm not the promiscuous type myself, I've known many friends who have been morbidly irresponsible in this regard, far beyond what you're describing (all healthy young people too) and yet none of them have ended up with an accidental pregnancy.

Being quite the hypochondriac in my younger years I found keeping things in perspective to be a great help in reducing anxiety. Keep reminding yourself that the likelihood of things going badly is really quite low - people have done a lot worse a lot more often and gotten away with it! Once this sinks in I think you will feel a lot better.

stef
10-05-14, 03:00 AM
those tests are accurate, try not to worry.
but yes if she gets good birth control you won't have to worry about this (maybe kind of intimidating for her though? i mean seeing dr, etc.)

midnightstar
10-05-14, 05:01 AM
As has already been stated, it's highly unlikely she's pregnant :grouphug: Pregnancy tests are accurate (I've had to take one before and it was accurate)

Fuzzy12
10-05-14, 06:35 AM
Hope it turns out well. I also hope that irrespective of your own anxiety you can be there for your gf. If you are this freaked out imagine how she might be feeling.

Like flo said, regular oral contraceptives and or the morning after pill might be a good idea.

Dja427
10-05-14, 10:21 AM
My concern with the pregnancy test was that it was taken too early. Also are PMS symptoms an almost for sure guarantee of a period? And yes birth control is 100% happening after this. I'm talking the pill, a condom and spermicide.

Fuzzy12
10-05-14, 10:46 AM
There are some early days pregnancy tests but most are accurate only a few days after your periods are due, I think. I don't think that PMS symptoms are a sure sign of a coming period. Sorry, I don't mean to scare you. Hope it will be ok.

Even if she's pregnant, which still most probably she isn't, you'll be ok. At some point you'll be ok. Try not to freak out, ok? And please be good to your girl friend.

Dja427
10-05-14, 10:50 AM
There are some early days pregnancy tests but most are accurate only a few days after your periods are due, I think. I don't think that PMS symptoms are a sure sign of a coming period. Sorry, I don't mean to scare you. Hope it will be ok.

Even if she's pregnant, which still most probably she isn't, you'll be ok. At some point you'll be ok. Try not to freak out, ok? And please be good to your girl friend.

We're too young to deal with a baby though. We have college ahead of us so we do not have the money or the time for a baby. I'm still just so scared :(. My girlfriend isn't scared at all. Realistically I'm going to be terrified until Thursday rolls around or even longer if she doesn't get her period. Her periods are EXTREMELY regular.

midnightstar
10-05-14, 10:53 AM
We're too young to deal with a baby though. We have college ahead of us so we do not have the money or the time for a baby. I'm still just so scared :(. My girlfriend isn't scared at all.

From the sounds of it even in the highly unlikely event your girlfriend does get pregnant it's early enough for the pregnancy to be ended without difficulty :)

Dja427
10-05-14, 10:55 AM
From the sounds of it even in the highly unlikely event your girlfriend does get pregnant it's early enough for the pregnancy to be ended without difficulty :)

Yeah but doesn't she need parental consent(they may not allow an abortion). I live in Illinois btw

Fuzzy12
10-05-14, 10:57 AM
We're too young to deal with a baby though. We have college ahead of us so we do not have the money or the time for a baby. I'm still just so scared :(. My girlfriend isn't scared at all. Realistically I'm going to be terrified until Thursday rolls around or even longer if she doesn't get her period. Her periods are EXTREMELY regular.

I know it's scary. I'm just saying that though it might seem super scary now, please know that you'll be ok.

If your gf isn't scared, take her lead. Also keep in mind that when you are desperately waiting for your periods they tend to be late.

Dja427
10-05-14, 10:59 AM
I know it's scary. I'm just saying that though it might seem super scary now, please know that you'll be ok.

If your gf isn't scared, take her lead. Also keep in mind that when you are desperately waiting for your periods they tend to be late.

But if she isn't stressed then her period will most likely come on time correct? Especially if they're extremely regular?

midnightstar
10-05-14, 11:05 AM
Yeah but doesn't she need parental consent(they may not allow an abortion). I live in Illinois btw

You're both 18 right? Not sure about where you live but in the UK (where I am) you can get an abortion at 18 without needing parental consent :)

Dja427
10-05-14, 11:06 AM
I've also read things about pre ejaculate not containing sperm if you urinate beforehand( which I thankfully did) . I think the medical community is 50/50 on this. apparently it comes from a different glad and is meant to clean out your tract and give the sperm a safe ride. something i heard is that the reason the pull out method fails is because people do it too late.

Dja427
10-05-14, 11:18 AM
You're both 18 right? Not sure about where you live but in the UK (where I am) you can get an abortion at 18 without needing parental consent :)

That is correct. Hopefully I won't have to come to that. I need some ways to reduce stress like really badly.

midnightstar
10-05-14, 11:22 AM
That is correct. Hopefully I won't have to come to that. I need some ways to reduce stress like really badly.

Would cyber hugs help relieve your stress? :grouphug:

Dja427
10-05-14, 11:24 AM
Would cyber hugs help relieve your stress? :grouphug:

A little. Do you know of any relaxation techniques? I wanna try and forget about this unless she doesn't get her period

midnightstar
10-05-14, 11:49 AM
A little. Do you know of any relaxation techniques? I wanna try and forget about this unless she doesn't get her period

I'll PM you with some stuff, finding you stuff on google :)

Dja427
10-05-14, 12:49 PM
I'll PM you with some stuff, finding you stuff on google :)

Thank you so much. I found a song that REALLY helps as well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGezSGcxODw

Flory
10-05-14, 06:40 PM
Honestly stop stressing out it will be fine

As far as abortion goes that's completely her choice. The lesson to be learnt here is if you can't handle fatherhood just yet wrap it up.
even the most regular periods can be one or two days out.

I'd out money on it that she isn't pregnant

Dja427
10-05-14, 06:42 PM
Honestly stop stressing out it will be fine

As far as abortion goes that's completely her choice. The lesson to be learnt here is if you can't handle fatherhood just yet wrap it up.
even the most regular periods can be one or two days out.

I'd out money on it that she isn't pregnant

Relaxing with OCD is very very hard

Flory
10-05-14, 06:43 PM
I've had OCD I know that.

On this one though....almost certain it will be fine

Dja427
10-05-14, 06:45 PM
I've had OCD I know that.

On this one though....almost certain it will be fine
I mean I guess the VERY UNLIKELY worst case scenario is an abortion

Fuzzy12
10-05-14, 06:56 PM
I hope she isn't pregnant. Best of luck to both you and your gf.

Dja427
10-05-14, 07:01 PM
I hope she isn't pregnant. Best of luck to both you and your gf.
The chances have got to be EXTREMELY LOW. I mean let's take a look here
-pre cum may not contain any viable sperm if the guy were to urinate beforehand(not saying it should used as a form of birth control just saying it lowers the odds)
-it was only 15 seconds max
-it was past ovulation
- even if sperm got in most die in the vagina and max load contains 100,000,000 while a pre cum load could only contain a couple thousand at most
-the pregnancy test was negative(this one doesn't mean much)
- some girls don't get pregnant even after a full ejaculation

Dja427
10-07-14, 04:38 PM
Update: she's getting some feeling she gets the day of a flow right now so I think it's safe to say she is 100% not pregnant at this point. It's just that it was supposed to be on Thursday but i wonder if stress can cause it to come a couple days early. Or the predicted date was off.

Fuzzy12
10-07-14, 08:13 PM
Update: she's getting some feeling she gets the day of a flow right now so I think it's safe to say she is 100% not pregnant at this point. It's just that it was supposed to be on Thursday but i wonder if stress can cause it to come a couple days early. Or the predicted date was off.

Yes it can.

Dja427
10-07-14, 11:00 PM
Yes it can.

Her period is coming I think. She said that everything is getting pinker but there isn't blood yet. But with my anxiety it makes me think implantation bleeding but I don't think implantation bleeding gets pinker correct?