View Full Version : Where is my help?!

10-05-14, 12:39 PM
I've been lurking for awhile, and I've finally decided to post. This is probably gonna be long, so just hang in there!

I have Combination ADHD, and anxiety. I'm also a mom, and the wife of a Marine who is never home. On top of that fun little cake, I have a 3.5yr old with Autism. She was diagnosed at 18m thanks to my knowledge of autism.

My parents really wanted to hear no part of her diagnosis, and neither did her dad really. He eventually came around, but my parents insist that she'll grow out of it. So that's been a huge pain in the butt.

Recently, I was re diagnosed with combination ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 12ish. When I try to talk to my mom about my issues, she is seriously the biggest ***** about it! She was NEVER like that. She legitimately thinks I'm like making this up or something. Any time I say I found out something new about my ADHD she corrects me and says "blah blah has nothing to do with your ADD.." Thanks mom. And I don't dare mention my anxiety, cause that's just nonsense.

Anywho, the more I find out about how ADHD affects adult life, the more I'm realizing that I'm not a total failure at life. And the main aspect I'm having trouble with is parenting. I'm a good mom, but some days I'm so scatter brained that I cant even think straight, and so overwhelmed that I feel like I'm drowning. Plus this has been the deployment from the deep pits of Hell. I obviously cant talk to my mom about it since she doesn't understand. And my husband thinks I'm just lazy and don't do anything. So I was looking for some support groups for parents like me, and I'm beginning to feel like no one is like me. I find plenty of groups for parents OF ADHD/autistic children, but none for parents with ADHD raising autistic children. I know I cant be the only one!!

I've tried getting into the groups for parents with autistic children, but they just talk about their kids like they're aliens or something. I relate more to my autistic child, than I do to my N/T 5yr old [although, she's starting to show early ADHD signs]

I just feel so lost. It's one thing to be a parent, another to be a special needs parent, and a whole different ballgame to be a special needs parent when you have ADHD.

Where are the parents like me? Or am I just doomed to go this alone.

Thanks for reading.

10-05-14, 05:27 PM
I can only talk about Australia. There is a program here, like a counselling service that's run through hospitals that deals with parents finding it difficult with young disabled children.
I know this cause a friend of mine was part of this.

10-05-14, 05:43 PM
It's not that she's difficult to deal with by any means, it's that I cant seem balance helping myself, helping her, AND trying to parent my N/T 5yr old, on top of my never ending mound of to-do's. I just get so overwhelmed and I feel like no one can relate or understand.

But thank you for reading and replying :)

10-06-14, 12:03 AM
As long as the baby isn't the one drowning than I think you're doing fine. We can only ever offer our best as human beings. Don't give perfection, perfection is stale, controlled and lacking of love because every moment is one of tyrannical anxiety.

Instead just give your best and the best will come.

Take everything one task at a time. Remember that perfectionism is a monster that will rob you of your happiness and destroy your life. It will turn you into a scared child and you will procrastinate the entire day away. Therefore... Focus on function over form, recognize when things are good enough and a job or task is finished.