ADD really has a bad reputation. I was so relieved to be diagnosed. My husband says he remembers that I looked at a magazine some years back about children with ADD and mentioned I fit so many of those symptoms. Of course, we did nothing about it. (and I don't remember this at all)

Thursday, my friend was describing her daughter's trouble at school. Daydreaming, going home with headaches and stomach aches regularly, able to focus and accomplish what she wants for hours but do nothing if she's not interested...that kind of thing. It's been suggested to her from three different sources that she may be stressed or anxious. Normally her daughter is the "girl who cried wolf" sort, so she hasn't been taken seriously until now.

Her first task is to see if it's the teacher. The woman obviously has to fill up about 6 hours a day with stuff so she nit picks on how perfect their letters are, 7 year olds! Good grief. So ok, certainly a perfectionist first grade teacher can stress a kid out. That stresses ME out and she's not my teacher and not my kids' teacher.

I told my friend about what school was like for me and I ended up diagnosed with bipolar and ADD. It very well might not be, I said, but if you're going to take her seriously then she shares some things with me.

My friend became very annoyed with me. I could tell she was feeling repulsed at the idea that her daughter would be thrown into that category. She truly feels that children just need to try harder, that just because you don't like something doesn't mean you don't have to still do it, that everyone procrastinates and has to learn this. That they diagnose ADD so much that she can't consider it for her daughter at this point.

This was about her daughter and I got offended. My mind blanked and I couldn't remember the childhood symptoms off the top of my head. I felt like she was basically telling me, that's just kid stuff and you have to learn to get over it (problems in school/motivation). :confused:

I'm definitely backing off, but I hate it when I forget information that can be useful. My feelings are hurt that I'm being sluffed off as a cry baby. But what is more important is her daughter...is it a bad teacher? Is it ADD? It could be something else. But is it still overdiagnosed? I've been stalling having my 5 yo (almost 6 yo) looked at because he's "all boy". Surely there has to be wiggle room for different personality types. And that still doesnt mean you should medicate. There are other coping measures, but naturally, I couldn't remember them..........I actually needed them at that moment, so of course I forgot.

I don't know what to do. I feel like I have to reeducate myself, I feel intimidated, misinformed, and incapable of helping my friend or her daughter.

Don't forget...."The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree".

If a mother or a father has add/adhd, there is a big chance that the kids will have it. The kids should definitely be observed and eventually tested just to make sure.

If both the mother and the father have add/adhd (like in our "never a dull moment" family), there is a very high chance that the kids will have it. They should definitely be observed and tested.

If neither the mother or father have add/adhd but the kids have characteristics of add/adhd, you should start snooping into both sides of the family medical and mental history.

See if the aunts, uncles, grandfathers, etc.. had "issues" when growing up. In our case, on my husbands side of the family (the nonmedicated adders), he is one of 8 boys. All did bad in school. Most flunked 2nd grade. (That seems to be a common grade to be held back in.) Most were into drugs in highschool. Most went to tech school (on the short yellow bus.) Some graduated. Most didn't. Four of the 8 are divorced. All 8 have jobs involving their hands (construction, mechanic, trash hauler, welder, etc...) My husband had mini seizures during his sleep when he was young and took something called Dilantin. Was diagnosed with "minimal brain disfunction" back in the 60's, which is now known as Attention Deficit Disorder. Their grandmother died in her 40's from liver damage due to alcoholism. There is bedwetting on their side of the family (along with my side) so that's where my son gets that. And the list of what I found out goes on and on.

After all that I found out, my mother-in-law is still in denial that they have ADD issues.

My side of the family (the adhers) all did well in school. All have good jobs. Have all the good traits that come with adhd but also the bad traits of interrupting, etc. I didn't have to dig far at all on my side of the family. We wear our good and bad characteristics on our sleeves.

Again, "The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree". I would suggest to your friend that she should perhaps begin her family tree medical and mental history now so that she has all the information when she needs it. (Either for her daughter or her future grandkids.)

Also, it takes one to know one. I can spot an adhd kid in the checkout line at WalMart. And I can spot an adhd adult in a second. (The adders are a little harder for me to spot immediately because they are not the ones bouncing off the wall and talking like auctioneers like myself.)

Chel,

I can really empathize with you. I have a very good friend whose son is so clearly in major "trouble"and has been since we met. I have know them 14 years and no matter how I tried to approach her she just didn't want to see or hear it. This sounds similar.

When trying to talk to someone (especially someone close to you) whose blocking you, gets defensive, and has all kinds of "excuses", the problem isn't YOU or your abilities to communicate or educate. It is a situation that would fluster anyone, IMHO.

It is also painful to let go of these people. I also end up hurting so badly for these children who need help and aren't getting it. However, I realized it isn't up to me to save the world. I kept gently trying to pass on whatever I could to help both of them, to no avail. Eventually, our friendhip settled into a superficial one where you don't talk about anything of any importance.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. You weren't diagnosing, you weren't criticizing, you weren't trying to tell her how to raise her daughter, you were simply offering a helping hand. Now there is nothing to do, but to remain open and available. The next step is up to her.

Kim

You're both right. I calmed down. Stress is my knee-jerk reaction to everything. I'm going to have to start itschaotic's aerobic training routine.

I can spot the ADDers, too. There's just a difference. It's not a boy or a girl thing, or a personality thing, I just "know". My friend doesn't have it, but I think her husband and oldest son do, and the daughter I mentioned...crikey!...I've mentioned I don't always get along with ADHD women that are non-forum...well...she's one of those girls I can only take in small doses no matter how much I love her. If anyone can send my ADD-inattentive brain into a whirlwind this talkative, perpetual motion machine can!

Thanks for the reassurance.

So on a less personal note: Is ADD still considered "overdiagnosed"?

I have a friend with a son who is obviously ADHD but she refuses to listen,all she says is she doesnt believe its a real condition and clamps up,and this is a nurse,so you gotta let them think what they like but dont be offended by it,some people are just like that,my father being one of them.

According to Barkley, it's actually underdiagnosed; especially among girls and adults.

I read somewhere that adult adhd was the "new flavor" of the month and that adults were memorizing the details of the disorder, self diagnosing, and "flocking" to be the first in line to be treated. MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!! WHo the h### wants to have AD/HD??! I am proud of you, eyeforgot. You are intuitive, have first hand insight, and are a good friend. With the recent awareness of this "disorder", there is no excuse for someone not to be open when things are "not right" with their children. :soapbox:

It has been my experience, that ADHD which includes the hyperactivity is obvious. Fidgety, always on the go, motor mouth, focusing on everything around you except for what you are supposed to be focusing on. That's me. I can't hide it at school or work.

ADD with no hyperactivity can be hidden. (my husband) These are the kids that are able to sit quietly in school, staring out the window, daydreaming, class after class, year after year. They get passed along to the next grade. They do not cause trouble.

Unless they have a concerned and caring parent or teacher, they often fall threw the cracks and are not diagnosed. If another impairment is involved, such as learning disabilities, they possibly might get noticed. Not always.

I work with hundreds of women so I hear alot of stories about their kids. Some kids are sometimes in trouble and do OK in school. They might have a bad day here and there. I do not think everybody who does bad in school or is hyper and/or defiant are add/adhd. I do think that boys will be boys. As an adhder myself plus having my off the chart adhd son, I can definitely tell the difference.

For adults, in addition to the add/adhd tests that they administer, they should ask for a list of friends and families phone numbers. They would be able to tell by listening to their comments whether you are add/adhd or not.

When I share my experience with non add/adhd believers I just want to say:

Prior to medication, please go ahead and take away their priviledges. Ground them. This might work. Then load up all their toys in their room and not let them have them until they cooperate and do their homework. This might work. Then try the soap in the mouth for when they talk back. Maybe. I am not into spanking, but they might want to try that. And then the spankings may get more frequent and harder. The only one this hurts is the spanker but this might work for some kids. After you do all of the above plus some, then call me. I will tell you what all we have tried plus the 1 million other things we have tried, prior to medication. My son is a classic adhd child, off the chart.

Last year in 5th grade they said that if he was good for the 4th quarter of school, he could go bowling with the kids that behaved well. Well of course this was an impossible task and I let the teachers and principal know that this was not a fair expectation. If rewarding him with bowling worked, I would have my family live in a bowling alley on a daily basis. Each having their own lane.

This year they had the good behavior field trip again for the 6th grade. He was all pumped up to go and three days prior to the field trip, he got suspended.

Now they have their final field trip coming up to Six Flags. So far he gets to go. But if something comes up, oh well. Atleast he tried.

If he could behave, he would. He definitely can't without medication. This is how he is. Even with medication he is no where near perfect. None of us are.

I definitely do not think its overly diagnosed. If it were, all of the kids and adults that I see on a daily basis who are not medicated, would be.

I have a friend with a son who is obviously ADHD but she refuses to listen,all she says is she doesnt believe its a real condition and clamps up,and this is a nurse,so you gotta let them think what they like but dont be offended by it,some people are just like that,my father being one of them.I have a friend is a special ed teaher. You would not want to spend five minutes alone with her 7 year old. He kicks and bites children and adults. I suggested she have him tested for ADHD and ODD. She was really insulted, yet she is the first to complain when the parents of children in her class will not put their kids on medication. I guess it depends on which foot is wearing the shoe whether it fits or not.

Furthermore, in a science forum I am in, this guy who styles himself as some sort of psychiatric expert diagnoses ADHD by "hedonism," basically saying that people who have it are undisiciplined. :rolleyes:

The latest thing was her daughter got a 100% on one reading comprehension test and a 0 on the other test for the same story. She just filled the blanks in with any word and none of them made sense. When asked, she told her Mom, "there were people talking and I couldn't concentrate". Her Mom is going to ask the teacher about letting her take tests apart from others, but considering her daughter "doesn't have" ADD and can't even be considered a candidate, Mom sure is coming up with the symptoms and solutions for an ADD kid.

mctavish: What's Barkley? I knew girls were more difficult to diagnose but I'm not familiar with that study (?).

I think people memorize the symptoms and diagnose themselves because they want to feel better, even if it's the wrong diagnosis they'll take anything to help them with their miserable (or presumed miserable) life. And it gets attention, even if it's negative attention. See, we were deprived attention, hence attention deficit, and the disorder of it is that now we get negative attention for the diagnosis. Make sense?

Those were all excellent posts. One of the things that makes it so difficult for non-ADHD people to understand is the variablity involved. In other words, we can "get it" one day and "not get it" the next.

As far as adult ADHD becoming the "disorder du jour," I don't really know much about it since I don't work with adults. However, I do know how that assessment should be done (correctly) and I'm comfortable with it if I had to do so. Once again, the clinical threshold is always impairment.

"Barkley" is Russell Barkley, PhD. He is widley considered to be the world's leading expert on the subject. I was fortunate enough to train with him for a week at the Medical College of Wisconsin's 17th Annual Door County Summer Institue Aug 4-8,2003.

He has authored many books on the subject and done countless research studies. Within my profession, he is held in the highest esteem by those of us who work with diagnosing and treating ADHD. He is a "pure scientist" in that everything he says he can back up with impeccable research. The next time you pick up a major (main stream) book on ADHD, look in the Index to see if and/or how many times Barkley,R. appears.

His best book for parents is ...Taking Charge of ADHD. The revised edition is from 2002. He also has the longest running ADHD study in the world, i.e., the "Milwaukee" study. It began in 1977 and continues on today.He continues to track the "kids" who started out; both ADHD and the non ADHD control group.

Re: What's Barkley?
http://shorterlink.org/194

A leading ADD specialist.

my neighbor was approached by her daughter's teacher about filling out a questionnaire and having Tessa tested for ADHD. my neighbor brought over the questionaire she was asked to fill out -- i believe it was the connor's checklist.

she showed it to me and asked me what i thought. her kids are over at my house frequently, so i am pretty familiar with her daughter's behaviours. i had, at that time, *no* knowledge of ADD except for the info. i got second-hand via popular press and erroneous assumptions i made.

so, i looked the questionnaire over and said, "i dunno, neighbor. i think she's fine. heck, *i* can check off most of the traits on this questionnaire!" (note the irony of that statement!!! :rolleyes: )

this conversation took place while her daughter tried to touch the ceiling first by climbing on my couch, and from there attempting to stretch over to the doorknob of my front door so she could stand on it while she tried to reach the ceiling. when asked by her mother to stop putting her feet on the door, she proceeded to swing on the door hanging onto the door knob with her hands.

"i suppose the climbing the walls thing could be considered hyperactive." i said.

"but that's just tessa." she replied.

the way it was presented ADD seemed like a bad thing and no one wants to believe anything is wrong with their kid. so, it's partly a problem of perception since ADD is both positivie and negative.

when i was diagnosed (innatentive ADD) about a year later. i went and talked with my neighbor about it. no wonder i could check off so many charecteristics on the behaviour checklist/questionnaire! eh-heh.

everyone believes what they want to believe, i believe. (today at least. ;) )

all we can do is share our experiences with one another and if there is something another person needs to hear in our telling it, they'll be able to hear it. if they aren't ready for the lesson, they'll wonder *what* the heck you're talking about. (i get that look a lot! eh-heh) :D

cheers,

W.

I think that ADHD is WAY over-diagnosed. Teachers, send home notes to the parents, because the child was fidgety one day, or was distracted, and is recommended to see the pediatrician, because they might have ADHD. The child might be tired, it could be factors such as the weather, causing the child to be more fidgety, they could have a LD or sensory issue, food allergies. hypoglycemia. All can cause ADHD-like symptoms. There are these self-tests now, that you can access online, to diagnosis yourself with ADHD. They are so subjective. Look at the increase in diagnoses of ADHD, and how mant people are on stimulants now. I believer that the US, has the highest use of stimulants. Why is that?? And now, we have people that suddenly develop the symptoms, and instantly, are diagnosed with ADHD, without r/o other causes. A good reference to this, is "edited by moderator - the referenced site is NOT an unbiased source of information" They have a list of a whole bunch of conditions that can mimic ADHD-like behaviors, and should be r/o.

It is not determined over one bad day at school but over time of seeing the symptoms. I agree that all avenues should be looked into. But is it necessarily over diagnosed (especially in boys), probably...maybe...but is it overmedicated? That could be a much worse issue, especially if the key is knowledge and using coping skills that are similar to other learning disabilities.

Just a thought. I often feel like Wheezie and can tell by watching people.

I think we have touched on an issue here that has no clear answer. I am sure that, as with any psychological issues that have no clear biological testing to prove or dis-prove them, ADHD has been misdiagnosed in the past and probably will be in the future, too.

For me that is what this forum is all about. Getting as much reliable, substantiated, varied, information together so that ALL of the possibilities can be considered. IMHO, any child suspected of having ADHD should have a complete neurological and psychological workup and treatment should include many forms of therapy (behavioral modification, family therapy, physical therapy, and occupational therapy, to name a few).

My goal is to encourage people to have this done and to work at finding people who are truly qualified to make these diagnoses and treat them. It would sadden me greatly, however, to say that all medicated children are mistakes. I have two boys...one medicated, one not. Without medication my older son was totally unreachable. We had individual therapy, physical/occupational therapy, and family therapy for one year before choosing to medicate him. Through the medication our son was finally able to start taking in what we had been learning in all the therapies.

My youngest has managed thus far (he's now 12) with physical therapy, family therapy, and behavioural modification. That is the difficult part of ADHD...each child is different and needs to be treated differently.

Parenting also plays a really big role, too, IMHO. How many parents are just too busy to take their kids to therapy twice a week? How many parents aren't willing to change themselves in order to help their children? How many parents aren't willing to lay down a structure and stick to it come h*** or high water? It's much easier to throw medication at them, isn't it? However, that is not the medications fault or even the doctors.

I do think that the awareness over the past decade has grown enormously and every step helps to give our kids better care. I can only hope that our knowledge continues to grow.

Kim

One of the things I routinely tell parents is that I don't teach school but I do diagnose and treat ADHD.

On line tests are absolutely not valid. They arent' standardized and have no norms.

The bottom line is that when all is said and done..............you still have to go to a clinician to get a real diagnosis. None of the above would take the place of a thorough ,comprehensive (and valid) assessment by a licensed competent professional.It's not that easy.

According to Russell Barkley, it isn't over diagnosed. I would therefore refer you to his website and the journal article entitled International Consensus 2002.

One of the best rule out books I know is..................ADHD :The Great Misdiagnosis .....by Julian Stuart Haber,M.D. He isn't opposed to ADHD or the diagnosis per se', but he does an excellent job of disscussing possible comorbid conditions.

Understand this though, there are no lab tests available for many medical and psychiatric conditions. It takes a lot of scrutiny to make a valid diagnosis.

That brings me to my last point. I belong to both the ADHD community and the clinical community.
I know of no other group of professionals who get more disrespect than those of us who diagnose and treat ADHD. People mistakenly assume that all you have to do is walk in and say you have the symptoms and you get the diagnosis. It just doesnt work that way.

We get accused of not knowing a "real disorder" from a "fake " one.That assumption alone also carries with it the conotation that we've somehow created a "fake disorder" and then made up the symptoms to be placed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association (DSM) and the International Classification of Diseases (ICD). By the way, a group of paranoid _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ tried to bring a lawsuit filed in NJ against the US govt and the drug maker Novartis for creating a conspiracy to "hook " people on drugs. They got their dumbasses kicked where it hurt. It was thrown out because it (and all the rest of this "knee jerk reaction" crap ) is total BS!!!.

I am so sick and tired of people assuming we're clueless and they suddenly have a "blinding flash of the obvious" that we've somehow missed for the last 30yrs. We aren't stupid. There are good and bad practitioners of everything from plumbers to mechanics to docs, etc. There are no medication clubs and we dont take payoffs under the table.That is incredibly insulting.I have devoted my adult life to the care and service of helping children with emotional problems and their families. I work in a rural nonprofit setting with kids who are mostly on some form of welfare and donate 10 days a year (2weeks) to a free developmental learning clinic. There's only so much BS I can put up with.

Having ADHD myself, I am perhaps more conservative than someone who doesnt have it. It's not an exact science but we do try our hardest. One way I try to give back to the ADHD community is by posting in here. Hopefully, I can disspell some "myths" and also provide some useful information in the process.

Sure appreciate the discussion and information here. I think I agree with Dr. Hallowell in that ADHD is both overdiagnosed and underdiagnosed. Just because a teacher thinks in might be ADHD doesn't mean it is -- teachers are just screeners, not diagnosers. A through evaluation should be done by a professional trained and familiar with working with ADHD IMHO! I've been doing screenings for reading problems and I came across 3 or 4 kids whose problems look like they might stem from ADHD. I referred then to a clinical psychologist specializing in ADHD for a further workup. I think referring them was appropriate. Teachers can be good screeners -- but it shouldn't stop there. A good screening will catch people who are and some who aren't as well -- that's why you take it to the next level. Besides figuring out what is going on with the kids without ADHD who are still struggling is also important whether it's diet, unstable home, illness, inadequate structure and discipline, etc, etc.

Scattered

Scattered,
Excellent post, and well put. I absolutely agree.

I agree completely.Very well said.Thanks.:)

Just in case anyone needs a nod about the ongoing negative attention ADHD occasionally gets, I read this to remind me I'm not just spitting into the wind.

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16810

I think that ADHD is diagnosed, without exploring other reasons, ADHD isn't a catchall disorder, and there are a lot of other factors, that can cause these symptoms. Is it over-diagnosed..I would say IMO, Especially in the mild cases. The guidelines for ADHD, states that it must cause impairment in at least 2 settings...home, school, work, social. I've read cases, where they are have difficulties at school, but not at home, and vice versa. Maybe there are other factors. that are causing this..food allergies, lead, hypothyrodism, sensory issues..and more, can cause this.

guidelines for diagnosing state "impairment in at least 2 settings" if the individual is only having problems in one environment they shouldn't be diagnosed with ADHD.

the problem you describe is misdiagnosing ADHD, not over-diagnosing ADHD.

i agree that ADHD is not a catchall disorder. i think what might happen is that it's perceived as a catchall disorder when it is not. so the problem is the misperception that ADHD is a catchall disorder.

As I have mentioned before, I am a Spec. Ed. teacher. I work with about 150 Spec Ed kids in a year. I have never EVER seen a child who has a Diagnosis of ADHD who is "normal". Sometimes a child will not have the proper Diagnosis, you usually see this with kids who have major mental illnesses like Bipolar and Depression and illness has not fully developed yet. BUT...these kids had SIGNIFICANT difficulties at school and the identiification gets them support. I do strive to always get it right and if I think there has been a mistake I let the parents know and ask them to get another assessment.

This situation happened recently. We have a girl with a Mild Intellectual Identification yet she is getting 70's in High school. I sat and talked with her and looked at her records. She was insightful and the difficulty looks to be attentional in nature instead of intellectual.

Every year I see a few kids who are not getting support and should have it. Most have Depression/ Anxiety issues but a few have ADHD. They are usually missed because they have above average intelligence and they were able to get by until they hit High School math and sci.

An example, is a friend of mine, that has a son that was diagnosed with ADHD. He is not on medication, is doing well in school, with no behavioral problems, makes friends easily, and only exhibits there symptoms at home. But, he was diagnosed with ADHD, somehow. I have a son that has severe ADHD, and right now is non-medicated because the stimulants caused weight loss. but he is having problems already in 3rd grade, behaviorally, academically, and socially. It is apparent, that he has ADHD/combined type. I am not dismissing ADHD, but other factors should be ruled out first, instead of assuming that it is ADHD.

In the 80's, you didn't hear that much about ADHD. Now, a lot of people are diagnosed with ADHD. It is misdiagnosed, but also overdiagnosed,as how many of these mild cases, have r/o other factors? That's why there is the stigma, associated with ADHD.

All of the things you mention that could cause ADHD like symptoms are valid - but they are also things that any competent doctor would check and eliminate prior to confirming ADHD. While the on-line self tests and the advertising you see now-a-days would definately increase the number of people talking to their doctors about ADHD, it's not as if these people will be diagnosed and prescribed stimulants on that basis alone - not by any competent doctor. Teachers are more aware of ADHD, but they aren't diagnosing it. The increased prevalence of ADHD is due to increased awareness of the disorder vs years ago - it's not due to over-diagnosis. If you look at the number of adults that are diagnosed now - and who were missed years ago as kids - it's easy to see where the increase comes from! It's rather common for parents to be diagnosed at the same time as their children: Parent 1 "what's the big deal, I acted exactly like that when I was a kid? Parent 2 "you're like that NOW..."
Put simply, ADHD is much better understood than it was 20 or 30 years ago - doctors have a better understanding of the mechanisms behind it, it's been established that ADHD has a strong genetic component, and people now realize that in a fair percentage of sufferers it continues into adulthood.
As far as the U.S. (and Canada) vs the rest of the world - numbers are up in all "first world" countries - in other parts of the world doctors still have lots of other life threatening things to worry about - I'll bet that the figures for depression are similar, when people are dying from malaria and infections, you aren't concerned about their mental health.
BTW, I was diagnosed at age 39 - but I've had ADHD all my life. My childhood would have been much much happier had I been diagnosed and treated in grade school, and I would certainly have less "baggage" to carry around.

The stigma is caused more by the press/media sensationalizing things than anythings else. There are a lot of people who have alterior motives who promote these misconceptions and half-truths. The safety of medication is one case in point. Ritalin has been used for 50+ years. True, people have died from abusing it and a few "unexplianed" deaths have occured too - the web site you referenced previously involves one of those unexplained deaths - but the rate of these deaths is not statistically different from the rate of unexplained deaths in the general population, as far as I understand - people DO drop dead unfortunately, it's a fact of life.
ADHD is a complicated and misunderstood condition. It often does not "travel alone" - bi-polar, OCD, ODD, LD's, etc are all commonly found co-morbid with ADHD - I have an LD called disgraphia, for example, but that doesn't mean that my ADHD is any less of a problem.

Once again, the clinical threshold is always impairment.

Listen...As a teacher, I have never witnessed "over diagnosis" of ADHD in the student population. In fact I have NEVER seen one case of it.

The "threshold" is "impairment" so they always struggle in some way...always. Sure, some of these kids end up not being adhd but then they have a real problem in some other regard...like BiP or Major Depression.

Gregster..good points. It does have a lot to do with media/press. Eli Lily and the TV stations. are making Strattera well-known. They show their commercials for Strattera, a lot.

Scuro, there at least 2 kids in my sons class, that have ADHD. Maybe you as a teacher, haven't seem it, but it is overdiagnosed. We took my son off of the stimulants, and his teacher, actually said that we couldn't do a 504 plan, unless he was medicated. She's called me twice, pushing for him to be medicated. Yet, when he was having difficulty in the beginning of the year, he wasn't bad enough to need one.How many other kids are being pushed for a diagnosis and meds? A lot of the teachers feel that if the children aren't compliant, then off to the doctor you go. Some teachers, are sending notes home, that their child is acting up in school, and should be screened for ADHD. In reading from "Edited my moderator" Some schools, are getting CPS involved, saying either you medicate your child, or we are taking your kids off of you.

A lot of these doctors, don't have the time to sit and really screen their patients. They hear a subjective opinion, as to the symptoms, and the doctors says "ADHD", here's a script for meds. Other options, need to be explored, like food allergies, lead poisioning, LD's, sensory issues, bipolar (which mimics a lot of the ADHD symptoms), hypothryrodism, etc.

Sounds like it's time to disengage from that "friend".

Bizarrely: Why is SHE so angry [toward you] about YOUR problem? [e.g. an angry outburst]

Obviously your daughter's situation triggers something in her -- that's her issue to recognize and deal with, eh?

She sounds very un-self-aware and you deserve a supportive friend, not someone who tries to make you [and your child] feel badly. :S

I am trying more and more myself, to try to get rid of those in my environment who are _anger-based_, or who try to _control people with "shame"_.

Hope you can too.

-Emma