View Full Version : need advice


ferociious
10-19-14, 11:12 AM
So there's this girl I like and she has adhd. we have been dating for a monh. Shes smart & extremly beautiful and she considers me handsome & funny.
So in the beginning ive been giving her my affections and love and everything is good. We can talk all night long but usually when i don't make the first contact of the day its like she doesnt even care.
So i stopped messaging her as often and started giving her space. She told me she loves me but it doesnt feel like it

InvitroCanibal
01-12-15, 02:18 AM
Don't give more than you are willing to give. Don't ask for more than they are willing to give.

Different people express love differently. Maybe love to her is felt more than expressed.

Another question to ask yourself is are you letting love grow between you two or are you manipulating it by giving more than she gives? People will make the mistake of using affection as a means to control and manipulate love out of others without realizing it.

This is just generally the first mistake people will make in early relationships.

Just remember you're young, and love takes time to understand and be expressed. It is something that grows through time, not something that burns bright right away imo.

The main aspect of love is selfless friendship, in other words do something nice or sweet because you just wanted to see her smile or happy. True expressions of love ask for no reciprocation other than the others happiness.

You won't typically see that right away, it takes years. Going in things will be selfishly driven. You know she likes you though if she gives you her time. But again if you ask for too much from her you'll make her get sick of you.

So keep things cool not hot. Be as aloof as she is but not spitefully. If she says she wants to hang out just be happy go lucky about it. After she initiates, give it some time to cool off then initiate..then wait for her to initiate. It's not really like the movies lol...mostly opposite to that. The main thing is keep things cool and don't make a relationship your whole world.

Women take it as a compliment if a guy is tripping over himself to see her but they won't respect you for it. And at the end of the day, love is just mutual respect.

dvdnvwls
01-12-15, 02:30 AM
I have ADHD, and I'm very very poor at initiating conversations and at making the first contact. I usually wait for the other person to call, because... well, because that's what I do. I'm not an un-loving or un-caring person, but my memory and attention are crap, even for things that are obviously emotionally important.